Like a tick on the body of the people:

Thought for the Day:
Be mild with the mild, shrewd with the crafty, confiding to the honest, rough to the ruffian, and a thunderbolt to the liar. But in all this, never be unmindful of your own dignity. John Brown

On Last night:
After work I enjoyed the company of Pastor Bob and “The Dragon Slayer” for a few drinks of distilled liquor. Oh, the banter, the fast paced conversation of it all. We of course got into an argument that managed to involve the entire bar.

Which at that point was the previously mentioned chaps, Christian the Chef, “Jim-Bo the Bisexual Bartender” (who I should add, asked several times to rub Pastor Bob’s feet, much to his discomfort) three members of the court, one off duty taxi driver, a homeless man who talked to himself, a former state representative, a reporter, my dentist, and a waitress who runs a bead-shop on the side. Yes, everyone has a view, on a hot topic such as this. It seems I am one of the last of a long line of distinguished purists when it comes to grilling.

I am proud to say I am a Webber Man.

Yes, charcoal…lighter fluid, and time. If I wanted to cook on gas, I would do so in the house. These people are spending thousands of dollars on what can best be described as a kitchen appliance for the back yard, proud to say that it’s just as good as if they cooked it inside. Ok, am I missing something here? Isn’t the point of cooking outside to make something that tastes like it was just that, cooked outside?

I put forth, that a charcoal grill is a sign of manhood; any man can turn a knob on a gas grill. It however takes skill to cook on coals. Beer can Chicken, charcoal! Ribs, charcoal! Hot Dogs, charcoal! Steak, charcoal! Shrimp, charcoal! It all just tastes better! Mrs JQP has my back on this one.

Later:
I got home and fixed smoked pork chops (on my god-damn-Webber) cornbread stuffing, peas and coconut cream pie. I also made 10 loaves of bread (yes, it was a late night). I then finished reading a book on Mechanized Warfare from WW1 to Korea.

Today:
Grants, I want to push three of them out the door today. Tonight, I am teaching a class, so its going to be a late night for old JQP.


(Caption: Man, that dude gets all the girls)

Today’s Bill:
"Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie,
Which we ascribe to Heaven."
--From All's Well That Ends Well (I, i, 231-232)

Your Drink for the Week:

Panty-Jam Drink Recipe

Drink Ingredients:
1 oz. Orange Juice
2 oz. Lemon Juice
2 oz. 151 Rum
1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps
2 Powdered Sugar
1/4 oz. Banana Liqueur
1/2 oz. Strawberry Liqueur
1/2 oz. Dekuyper Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps

Instruction:
blend ingredients with crushed ice until smooth and pour into parfait glass, garnish with mint sprig and a maraschino cherry

Abe Froman Drink Recipe

Drink Ingredients:
3 oz. Vodka
3 oz. Grenadine
9 oz. Lemonade

Instruction:
Add vodka to rack glass. Then add desired lemonade. Top off with grenadine syrup for red appearance and berry flavor. Enjoy!

Your Political Thought for the Day:


Quote of the Day:
I know how men in exile feed on dreams of hope.
Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Greek tragic dramatist (525 BC - 456 BC)

A busy little bee I am, however I remain:

JQP PhD

In your Bush:

ok, I had to do something political today, f'ing grant cuts are killing me...

She sat picking her nose:

Thought for the Day:
A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy.
Benjamin Disraeli, Speech in the House of Commons, Mar. 3, 1845
British politician (1804 - 1881)

On Joining the Team:
Yesterday, I went and got an Indiana State Drivers License, after my third attempt. Yes, my third attempt. The first time I was over confident, “why, should I have to study, piss on it”. I got eight wrong, out of 58, but sadly you can only miss 4. The second time, I got 5 wrong (you can take the test every 24 hours), and yesterday I got them all right. I think I should have gotten extra credit for being the only person in the place that could speak English who wasn’t an employee. Yes, dear reader three attempts.



My license had been expired for about a year; add to that it was an out-of-state license. Now I know you’re asking yourself, “JQP, you’re a man well known for your law abiding ways and attention to detail, how ever did this happen?” Well, dear friend its really quite easy, I didn’t want to give up my South Carolina license, to do so would admit that I, John Q. Public esq. now live in this state… that it is not some temporary happenstance…



...that I can no longer walk over to the beach after work, hear the waves while going to sleep, give wrong directions to tourists, go clam dig’en with “Eric the Viking”, eat real She-Crab soup, and drink Bloody Mary’s with the Judge at 7:00am before court.



Yes, its true…I live in Indiana…but God willing, when myself and the Sweet and Loving Mrs. JQP have a child (I keep telling her that in order to do that we should have sex more than the one day a month when her temperature is right) that our baby, will be born at the beach and their first steps be in the sand. So, anyway, I am now a legal driver in this state, my outlaw days are far behind me (I tell the same thing to my parole officer).

On Spending Time:
Yesterday, I had the chance to wait in a crowded waiting room (the DMV) for three hours. Have you ever noticed that in just about every waiting room you will find a magazine about private airplanes?

Ok, WTF, how many of my fellow citizens sitting there waiting, would benefit from a few articles on powered flight? Ummm, none…hell I was one of the few who could speak/read English. Who in the fuck do they target with these magazines in waiting rooms? Do they think that your average person in there for say their license plates would pick one up and go “Damn, that’s just what I need to get me, one of them there air-o-planes; I wouldn’t have to mess around with that damn DMV no more”.

After several hours of thought, I came to the realization, that it must rest in the hands of the guy who sells magazine subscriptions, that SOB, has got to be one hell of a salesman, “Buddy, what your waiting room needs in a magazine on airplanes, yes sir the magic of flight etc….” My hat off to you un-known magazine subscription sales guy!

After my adventure:
I returned to the manor house, spent; mentally, physically and spiritually, so I took a two hour nap (hey, its was after all my self granted perk that I wasn’t at work, so I was calling the shots). After my nap I raked and reseeded my front yard (three loads of leaves, the joys of huge trees). Last year I had planted about 200 different kinds of flowering plants, so it was with both joy and trepidation I closely inspected the newly cleaned beds, much to my surprise it looks like about 75% are coming back in.

After a quick shower, I joined a colleague from here at the Orphanage for a beer after work. I enjoyed a wonderful Ham and Swiss sandwich and two frosty beverages made from fermented hops. I returned home at around 5:30 and took the hounds for a walk around the estate. Mrs. JQP was “working” late at a karaoke bar looking for new talent for the current “boy-band” she so tirelessly promotes.

At 6:00, I found myself in repose watching documentaries on cable. I managed to get in two before slumber took me. One was called “Behind the Crime Tape” or something like that, it was somewhat interesting if you’re into looking at decomposing bodies. I however wasn’t. The next one was about a bunch of men in a studying to be priests in Ohio. Now that one was a bit more interesting.

Not many people know this, but I almost became Fr. JQP one time, long, long ago. If it wasn’t for that one vow I think I would have made it.

Ok, get your minds out of the gutter, it wasn’t chastity. It was obedience. My view is if your going to make me give up sex, don’t tell me what the fuck to do, life is give and take is it not?

Sadly, the Roman Catholic Church leadership and I were never able to come to a suitable understanding on the subject, so to this day I remain what some people would call a “Bad-Catholic”. I however prefer saying that I am actively being the best catholic I can be.

Needless to say the two hours spent watching the documentaries were better spent than just 15 minutes of watching the hit movie “Taxi”, which I discussed in yesterdays post.

Today’s Bill:
SONNET 60
Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,
So do our minutes hasten to their end;
Each changing place with that which goes before,
In sequent toil all forwards do contend.
Nativity, once in the main of light,
Crawls to maturity, wherewith being crown'd,
Crooked elipses 'gainst his glory fight,
And Time that gave doth now his gift confound.
Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth
And delves the parallels in beauty's brow,
Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth,
And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow:
And yet to times in hope my verse shall stand,
Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

Your slang for the Week:
Waahaii: Exclamation of surprise, alarm, or fear.
Example: "Waahaii! I didn't know you were standing there, Boss! My God what are you doing with your hands!?"

Angry Pirate: when having anal sexual relations with your partner and one spits on said partners back , causing he/she to think you have reached orgasm, but when they start to turn around you grab them by the hair and shout ARR-ARR-ARR!
Ed Note: Mrs. JQP prefers the British Navy song “What shall we do with the drunken Sailor”.

Grunde: The space of epidermis constituting the area betwixt the anal opening and the scrotum of a male, although a female also has a significantly smaller area of equal definition (substituting vaginal crevice instead of scrotum, of course).

Balls to the wall: Term used by pilots. when accelerating quickly, the throttle is pushed all the way to the panel and the throttle lever (ball) actually touches the panel (wall). Hence, balls to the wall.

(This week’s challenge is to use all four in the same conversation with an unsuspecting person, if you complete this task you will get 5-points extra credit on you final)

Quote of the Day:
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
Mark Twain, 'Notebook,' 1935
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

Hurriedly reloading ammo, I remain:

JQP DDS

Cold Feet and a Warm Heart:

Thought for the Day:
Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. Friedrich Nietzsche German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

On The Day Ahead:
I woke wondering if it would be better to spend the day at an opium den deep in my cities vibrant Chinatown, with pipe in hand, tripping the light fantastic.

Yes, such is the day ahead of me. I have three grants, state meetings and some time on the road looming, but today, I have made a decision, I will give myself a “self-granted-perk” and take part if not most of the day off. Its going to be 70 today and I don’t want to let the day go by unexplored and/or unrealized.

On Last Night:
After a long walk with the hounds I made a supper of stakes and potatos (Rib-Pie is later in the week), to celebrate the warm weather we are enjoying in this God Forsaken ice-box that is northern Indiana. Yes, brothers and sisters it is soon time to once again tend to my award wining paw-paw bushes. On a tour of the manor estate I made notes of the things that must be done in order to once again have the "House of Public" lay claim to the best gardens in my inter-city neighborhood.

After time spent out and about, my bride and I sat down to watch a movie, Taxi… now I am a fan of she who is Queen, but damn that movie did more than suck, its sucks, blows and spits in into your face, without regard to tip.

You are better served watching the home shopping network for two hours.

Today’s Bill:
My only love sprung from my only hate!
Too early seen unknown, and known too late!"
--From Romeo and Juliet (I, v, 140-141)

Quote of the Day:
Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.
Sir Winston Churchill, (attributed)
British politician (1874 - 1965)

I remain, asleep at the switch:

JQP esq.

Dogs, Death and LSD; Your poem for the Week:

Beware of the Dogs
On the dot of twelve on a quiet autumnal nigh
tan old fashioned stagecoach came rattling by.
Invisible to all no matter how they might try.
Nothing there to most but a slight trick of the light.
By a row of houses it came to a stop, just shyof an otherwise unremarkable front gate.
The door opened and stepping down from the footplatewas Death.

Invisible to the few passers-by."Saul, Death has come to you.
I believe we have a date",
Death intoned.
Presumably to himself for there was no reply.
He marched towards the door with his head kept high,
with a slow steady step and his back held straight.

He was virtually at the door when he heard the noises nearby.
They came around the corner of the house and over the lawn.
Two large playful dogs, one chocolate, one fawn.
Tongues lolling, rears waggling, running fast, leaping high.
They pawed and they slobbered more than could be borne
by Death although he tried to ignore them.

Tried to stay calm.
Then the chocolate dog reared up and gently gripped an arm.
Which came off at the elbow.
The dog dropped back to the lawn.
Death looked between his arm and the other dog with alarm
Then with the fawn dog in pursuit he dashed for the gate.
He stumbled on his cloak,
it nipped at his heels and with a greatburst of speed he leapt over the gate.
Safe from further harm.

Such language he left with, then returned with two steaks on a plate.
He tossed them on to the lawn.
The empty mouthed dog grabbed a steak.
The chocolate one approached more cautiously not sure whether to takethis over a bone.

But eventually dropped Death's arm as it too took the bait.
Death came through the gate.
No prevarication.
He knew what was at stake.
There was no way that he had any wish to repeat this ordeal
He had to get in, do his duty, and get out before the dogs finished their meal.

So he hurried, pausing just briefly to avoid stepping on a rake.
There was of course a lock but that was insufficient to seal
a house against Death.
He put his hand against it and slowly the doorswung open.
And did the situation warrant the way that Death swore?

It did.
Inside were another two dogs to whom
Death had a savoury appeal.
As the door opened Death watched them get up from the floor.
A mouth snapped at his retreating heel.
He gained his second wind
They would not catch him.

Of that he was determined.
He pledged his revenge as he vaulted the front gate once more.
But Death had run out of ideas.
It was looking as if failure was predestined.
The dogs suddenly fell silent and sat when a young women appeared.
In Death's experience this was a lonely time of night.

This was weird.
However, this was a gift horse that would not be further examined.
If they'd only been there how War, Pestilence and Famine would have jeered
as the girl called the dogs to her
"Buttercup come here. Down Strawberry.
Foxglove leave it.
I said put it down.
Tansy get out of the shrubbery.

"The dogs obediently followed and then came Death who could have cheered.
Although it wasn't very long before he got his greatest fright in a century.
When she merely told the dogs to sit,
to stay, it seemed she was going to allow
the dogs to decide for themselves whether obedience was more important than chow.
She calmly entered the house while death nervously eyed up the boundary.

An hour passed, the dogs were beginning to stir.
Death was wondering how
he could outrun all four when the young woman strolled back into sight.
She put a lead on each dog.
When she led them away they put up no fight.
She tied them up,
turned to the world at large,
and announced
"He is ready for you now."

Your Recipe for the Week:

Rib-Pie???? Yes, Rib-Pie….

Cumberland Spare Rib Pie recipe
Cumberland spare rib pie is a deep dish pie made especially from spare ribs of pork and it is a crowd favorite. I just so happen to have 20 pounds of ribs on hand, so this week it’s Rib-Pie.

Ingredients
(6 oz) shortcrust pastry
(2 lb) spare ribs of pork
1 pint stock or 1 chicken stock cube and water
egg and milk to glaze
3 tbls (25 g) 1 oz flour
1/2 teaspoon chopped parsley
1/2 teaspoon chopped sage
salt and pepper
4 tbl spoons of Tabasco
½ cup onion, green pepper, red pepper, yellow pepper

1. Cut the pork into pieces of about 4 cm (1 1/2 in) each and toss them in seasoned flour.
(While I don’t believe in boiling ribs, for this recipe I do for about 8 mins)

2. Put the meat into a deep pie dish and sprinkle with herbs.

3. Half fill the dish with chicken stock.

4. Press a strip of pastry around the rim of the pie dish and attach the lid, sealing well.

5. Decorate, glaze and bake at 425°F, for 10 - 15 minutes, then reduce the heat to, 350°F, and cook for a further 45 minutes.

The Allman Bros. Band, your Poet-Sage of the Week:

I been run down,
I been lied to,
I don’t know why I let that mean woman make me a fool.
She took all my money, wrecked my new car.
Now she’s with one of my goodtime buddies,
They’re drinkin’ in some crosstown bar.

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel,
Like I been tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Good lord, I feel like I’m dyin’.

My friends tell me, that I’ve been such a fool,
And I have to stand by and take it baby, all for lovin’ you.
Drown myself in sorrow, and I look at what you’ve down.
But nothin’ seems to change, the bad times stay the same,
And I can’t run.

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel,
Like I been tied to the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Good lord, I feel like I’m dyin’.

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel,
Like I been tied to the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post,
Tied to the whipping post,
Good lord, I feel like I’m dyin’.

another day on the line...

Your Thought for a Monday:
Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
Arnold Bennett

On the Road:
Sadly I had a rather limited Easter weekend, my sweet and loving wife fell ill Sunday, which of course put a bit of a damper on the festivities. I how ever did mange to cook the lamb close to being done, allowing my brother command of the grill, before returning to the manor house to tend to my bride. I am told it was a wonderful meal enjoyed by many.

Or weekend was a quite one, Friday after church we stayed in and I made a Sicilian pasta dish (we were both tired of eating fish so we went with vegetables) and watched movies. I built a fire, Saturday morning and we had breakfast in front of it, then off to the mall to get measured for a tux (I am the best man in a wedding at the end of April).

While there we went shopping and I bought a few dresses for my kind and sexy wife, that when we returned home she tryed back on and announced that they would not due and that she was going to have to return them all (women, I just don’t understand them at times).

We then when to several home centers and priced materials for my latest home remodeling project (yes, the up-stairs bath is a still a work in progress, but the end is near, I am going to start on the kitchen this summer). After a day out and about we went to dinner, where I enjoyed some stuffed cod and shrimp and my flower had a T-bone, we were joined by Matt the Heating and Air guy and later for drink by “Tiny” good company and a good meal. We were home in bed by midnight. All in all nothing very exciting.

Today’s Bill:

SONNET 40
Take all my loves, my love, yea, take them all;
What hast thou then more than thou hadst before?
No love, my love, that thou mayst true love call;
All mine was thine before thou hadst this more.
Then if for my love thou my love receivest,
I cannot blame thee for my love thou usest;
But yet be blamed, if thou thyself deceivest
By wilful taste of what thyself refusest.
I do forgive thy robbery, gentle thief,
Although thou steal thee all my poverty;
And yet, love knows, it is a greater grief
To bear love's wrong than hate's known injury.
Lascivious grace, in whom all ill well shows,
Kill me with spites; yet we must not be foes.

Your Quote of the Day:
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.
Anatole France French novelist (1844 - 1924)

Nose to the Grind-Stone, I remain:

JQP esq.

Your Joke for the Weekend:

John & Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation."There's a car being towed from the parking lot" he shouted.

A few moments passed "An ambulance just drove by"A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company" he called out."Matt's riding a new bike""The Coopers are having sex!!"

Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!!

Dad cautiously asked "How do you know they are having sex??"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony too"

...The Shadow Knows"

Thought for the Day:
A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
Jack London, US adventurer, author, & sailor (1876 - 1916)

Looking in Dark Corners:
Well, after much driving I once again find myself knee deep in the big muddy, where nothing is has it seems and the only thing you can count on is seeing mankind at both its worst and its best often in the same 20 min. span. That’s one thing about long drives they give you to much time to think, to much time to wonder, to mush time to look into who you are and way you do what you do. When I travel, its often not for a happy reason, its more often because they need a hired gun, or someone to show them how to do something.

There is a plus side, last night I got taken to dinner by the Chiefs of two Depts. They were genuinely good people who care about doing what’s right vs. what’s easy. We sat around and shared war stories and ol boy’ed it for the first hour, then the conversation took a turn. Both of them had been in the field for 20 to 30 years, we then spent the next three hours talking about the things that go bump in the night for all of us, those things that we have seen, that once seen can not be un-seen, those things that scar u,s that also serve to define us. Oddly, I felt like I had just gone through therapy when I was done. Some days things are good, even when they are bad.

Yes, I am going through that period on hauntings that come up every now and then. Small price to pay for the “job”.

To "Help get your Jesus" on:
For Good Friday: The Bible quotes seven last sentences that Jesus spoke from the Cross
"Father , forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing."
(Luke 23:34)
"Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise."
(Luke 23 :43)
"Woman,here is your son….Here is your mother"
(John 19:26)
"Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?"
(My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?) (Mark 15:34)
"I am thirsty"
(John 19:28)
"It is finished"
(John 19:30)
"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit"
(Luke 23:46)
I thought that with what’s been in the news as of late, it might be good to go to the source for some guidance.

Your Recipe for the Weekend:
(This is what I am cooking for 50 this Sunday)

Barbecued Butterflied Leg of Lamb with Mint

1 Leg of lamb (5-6 lb)*
3/4 c Balsamic vinegar
1/3 c Mint jelly
1/3 c Minced fresh mint leaves
Fresh mint sprigs (opt)
Salt
Pepper

* - boned and trimmed of surface fat

Lay meat boned side up. Slash about halfway through
thickest portions, as needed, and pull meat, patting cut edges
down, to make the piece relatively even.

Place lamb in a 9x13" pan. In a 1 1/2 quart pan over
medium-high heat, stir vinegar with 1/3 cup mint jelly just
until boiling. Stir in mint and pour evenly over lamb. Cover
and chill 2 hours or up to a day. Turn meat over occasionally.

On firegrate in a barbecue, with a lid, ignite 50-60
charcoal briquettes. When briquettes are dotted with ash, in about
30 minutes, spread them into a single layer; scatter 10-12
more briquettes over coals. Set grill 5-6" above coals. Lift
meat onto grill; reserve marinade. Put lid on barbecue and
open vents.

Turn meat as needed to brown evenly; baste with marinade.
Cook until thickest part of meat is done to your liking; for
rare (140' on a thermometer) in center of thickest part, allow
about 40 minutes total. Thinner sections will be well done.

Transfer lamb to a platter and let rest 5-10 minutes.
Garnish with mint sprigs. Slice meat thin. Season to taste
with mint jelly, salt, and pepper.

Your Bill for the Day:
"I hold the world but as the world, Gratiano,
A stage where every man must play a part,
And mine a sad one."

--From The Merchant of Venice (I, i, 77-79)

Your Poem of the Week:

XCVIII
FROM you have I been absent in the spring,
When proud-pied April dress'd in all his trim
Hath put a spirit of youth in every thing,
That heavy Saturn laugh'd and leap'd with him.
Yet nor the lays of birds nor the sweet smell
Of different flowers in odour and in hue
Could make me any summer's story tell,
Or from their proud lap pluck them where they grew;
Nor did I wonder at the lily's white,
Nor praise the deep vermilion in the rose;
They were but sweet, but figures of delight,
Drawn after you, you pattern of all those.
Yet seem'd it winter still, and, you away,
As with your shadow I with these did play:
(Yes, I know its also from Bill, but I am in a Bill mood today)

Quote of the Day:
It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree.
Charles Baudelaire, French poet (1821 - 1867)

A very Joyful Easter and as always I remain:

JQP (just a man, like anyother)

I am going down to the Crossroad:

Today is No Love Thursday:
A brief History on the institution of “No Love Thursday”. About a year ago, my co-workers and I started to go to the bar across the street (my favorite bar) after work on Thursdays. While there we would get a few drinks in us and start picking on each other, which like in any good dysfunctional family often escalated to the point of saying hurtful mean things, the funnier the better.

Soon other legal, law enforcement, social service, governmental employees started to attend. We all found it helped us to all be able to blow off and be shitty with each other. I believe is was Joel the barman who coined the term when after a very nasty comment was made by Pastor Bob to one of the members of the bench, he said…”there is no love in this bar tonight”

Thus “No Love Thursday” was born. It is now to the point that people save up hateful smart ass things to say to each other in this verbal and intellectual version of WWF “Grand-Slam”, aided by large amounts of alcohol. Dear friends it does help those of us who crawl up the asshole of society everyday for a living, a fairly safe way to blow off and be able to start our weekends with just a little less baggage. That and its fun.

Thought for the Day:
Sex should be wild. Unfettered and free. We're animals, aren't we? And, basically, we're all wolves in sheep's fur. I always wanted more. Not frequency, I am not talking about frequency; although that would have been great, too. I wanted more intensity. I wanted to be out there, outside myself, outside my skin. I wanted sex to be like robbing life out of the jaws of death! Robin Green

My Baby Picture:


News of the Day:
Well I am working out of town most of the day and a large part of the night, so all my chums from here at the meat packing plant will have to go out to my favorite bar without me. No “No Love Thursday” for me, which is ok, because I am all full of love and good mother fucking will. I am teaching a large group of law enforcement officers tonight about five hours from my home, which always mackes for a wonderful drive, esp. the part about having to be at work by 7 am on Friday. But, hey just another day in the service of my fellow man.

Your Drinks for the Week:

Bush Ranger Drink Recipe:
Drink Ingredients:
2 oz. Light Rum
1 Lemon Twist
1 dash Bitters
1/2 oz. Dubonnet Rouge

Instruction:
In a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine the rum, Dubonnet, and bitters. Stir well. Strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with the lemon twist.

Horny Girl Drink Recipe:
Drink Ingredients:
1 Part Peppermint Schnapps
1 Part Kahlua

Instruction:
Add the coffee liqueur first since it is heavier than the schnapps. Slowly add the peppermint schnapps.

Your Southern Words for the Day:

Cuttin' Up -- Acting Silly
Fode -- Car and truck manufacturer
Giddaholdayew -- To Contact You
Kanyption (Canyption) -- A Fit or Seizure
RC Cola -- Soft drink; compliment to a Moon Pie
(Remember team; these will be on the test, be sure to use them at least three times today)

Song for the Day:
The Sonics Have Love, Will Travel

Your Greek God/Goddess and/or Myth for the Week:
Echo: Greek mountain nymph (Oread). She upset Zeus and died trying to reciprocate the love of Narcissus. (Haven’t we all died trying to love of Narcissus at least once in our lives?)

Our Leadership on the size of their Penises:

(Hey, I felt the need to throw something political in here today)

Today’s Bill:

SONNET 45
The other two, slight air and purging fire,
Are both with thee, wherever I abide;
The first my thought, the other my desire,
These present-absent with swift motion slide.
For when these quicker elements are gone
In tender embassy of love to thee,
My life, being made of four, with two alone
Sinks down to death, oppress'd with melancholy;
Until life's composition be recured
By those swift messengers return'd from thee,
Who even but now come back again, assured
Of thy fair health, recounting it to me:
This told, I joy; but then no longer glad,
I send them back again and straight grow sad.

Quote for the Day:
It is with our passions, as it is with fire and water, they are good servants but bad masters.
Aesop, Greek slave & fable author (620 BC - 560 BC)

I have not forgotten and yet I remain:

JQP esq.

How can you not love a woman who looks like a woman?

Your Poet-Sage for the Week, The group known as Canned Heat:

I'm going up the country, babe don't you wanna go
I'm going up the country, babe don't you wanna go

I'm going to some place where I've never been before
I'm going, I'm going where the water tastes like wine

Well I'm going where the water tastes like wine
We can jump in the water, stay drunk all the time

I'm gonna leave this city, got to get away
I'm gonna leave this city, got to get away

All this fussing and fighting, man, you know I sure can't stay
Now baby, pack your leaving trunk, you know we've got to leave today

Just exactly where we're going I cannot say, but We might even leave
the USA 'Cause there's a brand new game that I want to play

No use of you running, or screaming and crying
'Cause you've got a home as long as I've got mine

(I am a big fan, I have all their works on 8-Tracks that I often listen to while sitting in my Red 1972 Trans Am which has been parked out in the backyard since the transmission went out back in '85)

I am,

JQP

I have a pocket full of Sunshine:

Thought for the Day:
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. George Bernard Shaw, Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)

On Today:
I am teaching the next generation of leaders of this great land today, so not a lot to say for a change. It’s getting to be my busy time of the year a lot of time on the road, traveling the highways and bi-ways of this great state of Indiana. Doing the Lords work, much like Mitch Daniels, our great governor, or at least the best governor that Eli Lilly ever bought.

On last night:
I watched Ray with the sweet and kind Mrs. JQP, I am not much of a movie person but damn that was one hell of a good movie, but then again, I am so far behind the times you already knew that. I had supper waiting on my little flower, Pork Chops and Pork Chop gravy, there is just something that fills the soul about gravy bread. Tonight I think it will be steaks with a cream cheese butter and chive potato dish and asparagus.

Your Urban Slang for the Week:

Ballaholic: Another word for a "baller." Someone who makes a lot of money.

Bubble Up: Similar to "blow up." To become successful quickly. Originally refers to the process of making Crack Cocaine in which a large amount of Crack "bubbles up" out of a small amount of Cocaine during fabrication.

Luficate: To beat up.

Out of pocket: To be out of line.

(Remember children, to get extra credit on the test you need to use these each three times today in conversations with the unsuspecting)

Your political view from JQ:


Your Bill for the Day:
"Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much; such men are dangerous."

--From Julius Caesar (I, ii, 194)

Your Quote of the Day:
The wise are instructed by reason; ordinary minds by experience; the stupid, by necessity; and brutes by instinct.
Cicero Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)

I remain, evermore the busy worker bee, or a clog of the machinery of the state:

JQP PhD

Standing my Post:

Thought of the Day:
It is when power is wedded to chronic fear that it becomes formidable.
Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind, 1954 (1902 - 1983)

And what a St. Paddy’s Day it was:

Sorry, no details:
A) until the State and Federal Statue of Limitations has expired
B) Because much of the day, remains a cloud.

Once again I am glad it only comes once a year.

In Other News:
I am back to work, even though I should still be off. I didn’t want to burn off my vacation sitting in this weather hellhole that is Indiana. Well, not at least until the temp. is more suitable to working out side the house. My weekend was a very quite one, the sweet and loving Mrs. JQP and I spend Friday, Sat. and Sun. watching movies and making love in front of the fire. (She’s fertile again) I cooked most of the weekend, shrimp, gumbo, steaks, the normal stuff. I didn’t manage to read five books during my time off, nothing real great but a few titles I had been wanting to hit.

Grandpa is doing much better, I think the fact that I took it upon myself to hire some “home-health aids” has really perked the old boy up.

He told me he has even gotten to show them the scar he got at Normandy.

On Health:
I am currently engaged in a long drawn out battle with my insurance provider over their denial of several surgeries that I need. So, sadly, no rugby this summer, but if I play it right and get this settled, I could play in the fall. Their appeals system is set up so that people quit, silly them they have no idea how stubborn I can be.

On the News this morning:
There was once a time when Republicans we known as the party of small government and states rights, not to mention a balanced budget. Well, that was before W came to town.

Ok, if you don’t have a living will, get one and make sure everyone knows what your wishes are. I have spent a lot of time around people who have very bad things happen to them and with people who want to die with some degree of dignity. Who in the fuck am I to tell them what’s right, who in the fuck is the state, and really who in the fuck is the fed. to tell them they cant. Hold a few hands of the dying. Seee what the effects of a brain injury are. Watch as cancer guts someone and tell me that they don’t have that right to go gracefully into that good night when the only thing that has kept them here is modern medical care.

Dying is the most personal act your can ever due. In my view we should have some degree of respect. Just my views but if it happens to my pull the plug, and don’t pump me full of lighter fluid so everyone can come and see what used to be me, just drag my out into a woods and burn my, put me back into the food chain as soon as possible. Wasn’t it Whitman who said “every atom that is in me…”

Todays Bill:

SONNET 81
Or I shall live your epitaph to make,
Or you survive when I in earth am rotten;
From hence your memory death cannot take,
Although in me each part will be forgotten.
Your name from hence immortal life shall have,
Though I, once gone, to all the world must die:
The earth can yield me but a common grave,
When you entombed in men's eyes shall lie.
Your monument shall be my gentle verse,
Which eyes not yet created shall o'er-read,
And tongues to be your being shall rehearse
When all the breathers of this world are dead;
You still shall live--such virtue hath my pen--
Where breath most breathes, even in the mouths of men.

Quote of the Day:
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Dorothy Bernard

I remain, fast at work protecting the freedoms we hold dear:

JQP esq.

Sharpening the Blade, Keen are my Senses:

The Plan:

Well dear reader, since I am not basking on sun drenched beaches as was my first plan, I will be in the rust belt community enjoying the finest it has to offer in the way for the celebration of Irish heritage. Yes, I will be on a pub crawl that will start at around 8 AM and end when the last man falls.

As a result, I will not be posting on the holyday of the Feast of St. Patrick. Rest assured brothers and sisters, I will have one in your honor, and since there are a great many of you, I am sure to be shit-faced drunk sooner than later. So, that being said, I wish you and you’re a very violent and inebriated day filled with sex and passion, because come Friday morning we will all be praying for both forgiveness and mercy.

Your Drinks for the Week:

Irish Potato Famine Drink Recipe

Drink Ingredients:
0.5 oz. Vodka
0.5 oz. Bailey's Irish Cream
0.5 oz. Irish Whiskey

Irish Flag Drink Recipe

Drink Ingredients:
1 oz. Brandy
1 oz. Green Creme de Menthe
1 oz. Bailey's Irish Cream

Instruction:
Pour the Creme de Menthe into a Pousse Cafe glass. Take a teaspoon, touch the edge of the spoon to the inside side of the glass right near the surface of the Creme de Menthe, round back side of the teaspoon up. Gently pour the Bailey's onto the round.

Irish Monk Drink Recipe

Drink Ingredients:
0.333 oz. Peppermint Schnapps
0.333 oz. Irish Cream
0.333 oz. Frangelica

Instruction:
Layer

Drink Ingredients:
1 Part Amaretto
Coffee
1 Part Irish Cream
1 Part Frangelica

Instruction:
serve in coffee mug


Your Toast for the Holyday:

The race of men named the Irish,
Is a race God surely made mad.
For all of their wars are merry,
And all of their loves are sad.
(How true)

Blessings to you and yours,
I remain, evermore...

JQP esq.

Your Poet-Sage of the Week:

On the eve of St. Paddy'd Day:
In honor of St. Patrick’s Day the Poet-Sage of the week is this little Irish ditty, it’s a happy Irish song, only one person dies in it. Now the Sweet and Very Irish (don’t belive me, she will park a car bomb in front of your house or at least knee cap you if you piss her off, she is after all my little flower) can sing this song so well that every St. Paddy’s day people pay her to come and sing. Now another great rendishion is when 35 drunk rugby players both act it out and sing it, its enough to bring tears to your wee’ eyes.



“Cockles and Mussels” or “Sweet Molly Malone”


In Dublin's fair city,
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheel'd her wheel barrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow

(Chorus)
Crying "Cockles and Mussels alive, alive O!
Alive, alive O! Alive, alive O!"
Crying "Cockles and Mussels Alive, alive O!"

She was a fishmonger,
But sure 'twas no wonder,
For so were her father and mother before,
And they each wheel'd their barrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow,

Crying "Cockles and Mussels alive, alive O!
Alive, alive O! Alive, alive O!"
Crying "Cockles and Mussels Alive, alive O!"

She died of a fever
And no one could save her,
And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone;
But her ghost wheels her barrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow

Crying "Cockles and Mussels alive, alive O!
Alive, alive O! Alive, alive O!"
Crying "Cockles and Mussels Alive, alive O!"
(sung very quite)

Crying "Cockles and Mussels alive, alive O!
Alive, alive O! Alive, alive O!"
Crying "Cockles and Mussels Alive, alive O!"
(sung very loud)




Good eh what? But how many of you know the Irish National Anthem?

A Soldier's Song

I’ll sing you a song a soldiers song
With cheering rousing chorus
As round the blazing fire we throng
The starry heavens o’er us
Impatient for the coming fight
As we await the morning light
Here in the silence of the night
We will chant a soldier's song

REFRENG:
Soldiers are we, whose lives are pledged to Ireland
Some have come from the land beyond the waves
Sworn to be free no more our ancient sireland
Shall shelter the despot or the slave
Tonight we man the bairnwail
For Erin's cause come woe or weal
Mid cannon's roar and rifle's peal
We will chant a soldier's song

In valleys green or towering crag
Our fathers fought before us
And conquered deep that same old flag
That's proudly flying o'er us
We're children of a fighting race
That never yet have known disgrace
As we march the foe to face
We will chant a soldier's song

'REFRENG'

Sons of the Gael! Men of the Pale!
The long watched day is breaking
The serried ranks of Innisfail
Shall set the tyrant quaking.
Our camp fires now are burning low
See in the east a silvery glow
Out yonder waits the Saxon foe
So chant a soldier's song.




Always a Good Drinking Song:

The Wild Rover

I've been a wild rover for many the year
And I spent all my money on whiskey and beer,
And now I'm returning with gold in great store,
And I never will play the wild rover no more.

REFRENG:
And it's no nay never no nay never no more
Will I play the wild rover no never no more.

I went to an ale-house I used to frequent
And I told the landlady my money was spent
I asked her for credit, she answered me 'nay
such a custom like yours I could have any day'.

'REFRENG'

I took from my pocket ten sovereigns bright
And the landlady's eyes opened wide with delight
She said 'I have whiskey and wines of the best
And the words that I spoke sure twere only in jest'.

'REFRENG'

I'll go home to my parents, confess what I've done
And I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son
And if they caress me as oft times before
Sure I never will play the wild rover no more

'REFRENG'


and a few songs about the “Troubles”



God Save Ireland

High upon the gallows tree
Swung the noble-hearted three
By the vengeful tyrant stricken in their bloom
But they met them face to face
With the courage of their race
And they went with their souls undaunted to their doom

REFRENG:
God save Ireland said the heroes
God save Ireland said they all
Whether on the scaffold high
Or the battle field we die
Oh no matter when for Erin dear we fall

Girt around with cruel foes
Still their courage proudly rose
For they thought of hearts that loved them far and near
For the millions true and brave
O'er the oceans swelling wave
And the friends in dear old Ireland ever dear

'REFRENG'

Climbed they up the rugged stair
Rang their voices out in prayer
Then with England's fatal cord around them cast
Close behind the gallow's tree
Kissed like brothers lovingly
True to home and faith and freedom to the last

'REFRENG'

Never till the latest day
Shall their memory pass away
Of the galant lives thus given for our land
But on the cause must go
'Midst the joy or weal or woe
Till we make our isle a nation free and grand

'REFRENG'

A Nation Once Again

When boyhood's fire was in my blood
I read of ancient freemen
For Greece and Rome that bravely stood
Three hundred men and three men
And then I prayed I yet might see
Our fetters rent in twain
And Ireland long a province be
A nation once again

REFRENG:
A nation once again
A nation once again
And Ireland long a province be
A nation once again

It whispered through that freedom's ark
That service high and holy
Would be profaned by feelings dark
And passions vain or lowly
For freedom comes from God's right hand
And needs a godly train
And righteous men must make our land
A nation once again

'REFRENG'

So as I grew from boy to man
I bent me to the bidding
My spirit of each selfish plan
And cruel passion ridding
For thus I hoped some day to aid
Oh can such hope be vain
When my poor country should be made
A nation ance again

'REFRENG'



and yes dear reader, I grew-up singing these and many more…no wonder I turned out the way I did….



I remain, spoil'en for a fight and a drink or two:

John Q. O'Public

Your Irish Jokes for the Day:

Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking.

"Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him.

The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German.

"Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport.

The guards then came to the Irishman.

"Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?"

"Oh", replied the Irishman, "I'll take the German".




Seamus O Brien had been hailed the most intelligent Irish man for three years running.
He had topped such shows as Larry Gogans 'Just a Minute Quiz' and 'Quicksilver' (before Bunny Carrs demise).
It was suggested by the Irish Mensa board that he should enter into the English Mastermind Championships. He Did, and won a place.
On they evening of the competition, Seamus enters from the crowd and placed himself on the Leather Seat and made himself comfortable.
The lights dimmed and a spot light pointed at his face.

Magnus said "Seamus, What Subject are you studying?." Seamus responded, "Irish History". Very well said Magnus, Your first Question,
"In what year did the 'Easter Rising take Place?'
Seamus responds .."Pass"
OK said Magnus, "Who was the Leader of the Easter Rising?",
Seamus Responds .."Pass"
OK said Magnus, How long did the Easter Rising Last?"
Seamus Responds.. "Pass"

Instantly, a voice shout from the Crowd, "Good Man Seamus....Tell the English Nothing...."

A Sergeant and a Private were patrolling the streets in a Irish town near the Northern Irish border. There was a 9.00PM curfew in place.

Suddenly private Slattery shoots a man walking down a lane. The sergeant screams, Slattery its only 8.45, why did you shoot him, Slattery replies, well I know where he lives and he would never have made it by 9.00.


The mistress of a big English house; called her Irish maid and pointed out the dust still on top of the piano. 'Mary' she said 'I could write my name in this dust'.

Mary responded 'Isn't education a grand thing ma'm'.


A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."


An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident.
They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!"

The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?" The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken." The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves."

The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?"

"Well," the priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'."


Murphy, Collins and Vella are drinking in a pub when a drunk comes in,
staggers up to them, and points at Collins, shouting, "Your mum's the best shag in town!"

Everyone expects a fight, but Collins ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and stick his nose into a pint of Guinness at the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at Collins again, and says, "I just screwed your mum, and it was grand!"

Again Collins refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mum said it was the best thing since sliced bread!"

Finally Collins interrupts. "Go home, Dad,... you're pissed!"


Judge Flynn has his shoes in his hand and is sneaking out of the house
when his wife Maura catches him ...

Maura: "And where do you think you're sneaking off to?"
Judge Flynn: "Oh, my dear, I almost forgot to tell you - there's to be
a political meeting at the Irish Catholic Social Club this evening and I
must attend as it is about my judgeship."
Maura: "Flynn, if there's any drinking, there will be no living with
me."
Judge Flynn: "Oh, no my dear - this is strictly a political meeting."

And, off Flynn goes for an evening of carousing with the boys ...
He comes home at 2 AM, snot-flying drunk, balls his clothes up, throws
them in the laundry, gets fresh clothes, catches a few winks on the
couch and sneaks out before herself is awake.

At 9:30 AM he is hearing cases when the clerk of the court slides a note
onto the bench. The note says: "It's your wife, she says its urgent!"
So Judge Flynn calls a recess and goes into his office to call home.

Maura: "Ye bastid Flynn! Didn't I tell you if you went out drinking
they'd be no living with me?"
Judge Flynn: "Oh my dear there was no drinking."
Maura: "Then what's this vomit doing all down the front of your suit,
shirt and necktie?"
Judge Flynn: "Oh, my dear, I almost forgot to tell you - when I came
out of the meeting there was this terrible drunken man that came up and
vomited right down the front of me. But I called the boys in blue and
they threw him into the wagon and he'll be up before me this morning.
I'll give that boyo thirty days in jail for his trouble!"
Maura: "Well, see that you do!"

At 10:00 AM he is still hearing cases when the clerk of the court slides
another note onto the bench. The note says: "It's your wife again, she
says its urgent!"
So Judge Flynn calls a recess and goes into his office to call home.

Maura: "And has that terrible drunken man been up before you - the one
that's going to get thirty days in jail?"
Judge Flynn: "Oh no my dear but when he comes up - it's thirty days for
him!"
Maura: "No darling, give him ninety days."
Judge Flynn: "That seems excessive - why ninety days?"

Maura: "Because he shit your pants too!"

An English MP was addressing a crowd in Belfast. He stated to the masses "I was born an Englishman, I've lived an Englishman, and by God I shall die an Englishman!"

Then, from the back of the crowd, a voice yelled "Shiteman, have ye no ambition?"


Everyone need a bit o' Irish in 'em!

John Q. O'Public

Treading Water, while the Ship Goes Down:

Thought For the Day:

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
Nelson Mandela, 'A Long Walk to Freedom'
S. African black civil rights leader (1918 - )

48 Hours till St. Patrick’s Day:

The reason the Irish are always fighting each other
Is they have no other worthy opponents.

On the Weekend:

Friday: I went to my favorite bar after work with a co-worker from here at the Salt-Mines and she proceed to buy me drinks (you got to love co-workers like that). Later the Sweet and Hungry Mrs. JQP joined us and we dinner of some of the best Tuna Steaks I have ever had (not only is this place my favorite bar, they have fucking kick ass food). After dinning we then went hard charging to my friend the Macedonian’s Bar and hard charge we did. We then left and were in bed by 11:00 pm, which I am glad for because Hospice called around 3, so off down south we went.

Saturday: Mrs. JQP cooked breakfast for 40 (yes, everyone rolled in, that and Mrs. JQP kicks ass at breakfast). For lunch I made:

Muffaletta Sandwiches:

Makes 6 servings.

3 large garlic cloves, crushed
1 cup chopped green olives stuffed with pimientos
1 cup pitted and chopped "black-ripe" olives or Calamatas
1/2 cup roasted sweet red peppers, chopped
1 cup olive oil
3 Tbsp. chopped fresh parsley
2 Tbsp. white wine vinegar
1/3 lb. salami
1/2 lb. provolone cheese
1/2 lb. mild cheese
1/3 lb. mortadella
1/3 lb. prosciutto

Cook’s note: The roasted red peppers are Italian-style, available at many Italian delis.

Take one loaf fresh Italian bread (one big round for a traditional Muffaletta or individual sub loaves will do fine for smaller sandwiches). Cut the loaf ( or loaves) in half, and scoop out a little of the inside to make some room. Make the olive salad by combining the olives and roasted perrer, garlic and vinegar. Drizzle some of the olive oil and juice from the olive salad on each side of the open loaf -- use plenty. On the bottom, place some salami, olive salad, provolone, mild cheese, and mortadella. Top with the other half loaf. Slice into wedges (or eat the individual loaves).

We spent the day, bedside and napping when we could. She and I then returned to the manor house and slept. An odd long day it was.

Sunday: In the morning we went to Pastor Bob’s house and saw the kids while Pastor Bob fixed my computer (not only a man of the book, but also pretty damn handy with electronics). We then went back down and (I made a big roast and took that down) we then spent the day. Upon our return to the City of the Rivers, Mrs. JQP said, hey lets go to the Rugby Bar and blow off some steam, which we did with Pete the Fire Man and Mike the Soccer Star. It was a night that I shall remember a bit to long, I ended up replaying parts the famous and definitive movie the Exorcist. Needless to say, Monday morning I used a self-granted perk and called in to work and then slept most of the day. Which Mrs. JQP said I needed to do anyway (I guess she is on to the fact that for the past few weeks I have not been sleeping). Don’t worry, work called me a total of nine times, so there was not much I missed.

On Stress:

Hi, my name is John (Hi, John!) I feel like I am in a 12-Step meeting: Well, the Sweet and Loving Mrs. JQP told me this morning that she is “worried” about me. It seems she thinks I am under a lot of stress and hurting. You know what; I hate it when she is right. It takes a lot of a person watching someone you love die, an awful lot. I can’t imagine what my mother and little sister must be going through, since my grandfather lives with them and they have been the primary caregivers, with the rest of us helping when and where we can. Stress; yes…a lot of stress to go around, more than enough for everyone.

I am proud, proud of my grandfather, proud of the life he lived and the example he set for all of us, proud of the good things in my character that I can easily trace back to him, proud of the way a family that at times has been strained and fragmented has pulled together, and proud of the adults my brother and sisters have become. When shit hits the fan, you couldn’t ask for a better bunch of people to have in your corner. How is he doing you ask? Well, every two days he almost dies, Hospice says it could be an hour or it could be a week. I think he is holding on for us, because he worries about all of us, so we spend a lot of time telling him that we will be ok. We anyway, stress, yes, I guess this has been a very stressful time, for sometime now, with only the “Big-Empty” to take its place when it’s done, but that’s ok to. There I feel better, thanks for letting me share with the group.

On Vacation:

The kind and loving Mrs. JQP and I were to be leaving for a visit with family and friends in Myrtle Beach, Surfside Beach and Savannah today after work. Good food, good friends a big St. Paddy’s Day party and a chance to breath back down home. But (and there is always a but) we cancelled or trip. Some other time perhaps, it’s the third trip we have cancelled.

So, as a result, I am inviting everyone to the Rugby Bar for a St. Paddy’s Day party (you, know if you are not taking the day off work, you’re wrong) starting at 8am, yes dear reader it will be a fall down. I will be in the bar with my Rugby team and the Police and Fire Dept. groups. After spending the day, we will then move on to another Irish bar and my favorite bar, yes, a real pub-crawl. And, don’t worry about driving home there is plenty of room at the manor. Now, really can you think of a better way to enjoy the beauty of northeast Indiana in late winter than this offer?

Your Bill for the Day:

SONNET 8
Music to hear, why hear'st thou music sadly?
Sweets with sweets war not, joy delights in joy.
Why lovest thou that which thou receivest not gladly,
Or else receivest with pleasure thine annoy?
If the true concord of well-tuned sounds,
By unions married, do offend thine ear,
They do but sweetly chide thee, who confounds
In singleness the parts that thou shouldst bear.
Mark how one string, sweet husband to another,
Strikes each in each by mutual ordering,
Resembling sire and child and happy mother
Who all in one, one pleasing note do sing:
Whose speechless song, being many, seeming one,
Sings this to thee: 'thou single wilt prove none.'

Quote for the Day:

hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.
Ralph Waldo Emerson US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)

I remain, as always:

JQP Esq.

and the winner is:

After last weeks Hairy Armpits on parade, (thx to the viewers who sent me a total on 116 pic of girls with hairy armpits) ... one is the best and here it is:



Man, I am sorry there is just something about hairy armpitted hippy girl with dirty feet....


JQP (in lust)

I Just love bad girls:

"I am a badddddd, girl" and I am in love...



other news: I cancelled my vacation (In Indiana for St. Paddy's Day, @ the Rugby Bar, so fuck it, next year however, bacl at the beach), my grandfather is still hang'en out....which is where I spent my weekend... One thing I must say is my fam has made me proud.

More news at the top of the hour....

Hey Dobbs, makes you think of M & M does it not?


I remain,

JQP

Digg'en deep in a trench of shit:

Your Thought for the Day:


The moral to this story is: sometimes you’re the deer and sometimes you’re the gator. Thx to Eye for the pic.

Your Drinks for the Weekend:

“I Knew She was a Psycho” Drink Recipe

Drink Ingredients:
8 cl. Orange Juice
8 cl. Pineapple Juice
2 cl. Grenadine
2 cl. Galliano
4 cl. Bacardi Light Rum

Instruction:
Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into glass Decorate with slice of Orange, Pineapple and a red Cocktail cherry. Mix in a Pint Glass


“Afghanistan Tour” Drink Recipe

Drink Ingredients:
4 oz. Vodka
4 oz. Rum
1 can Root Beer

Instruction:
Just pour to taste and enjoy. Mix in a Pint Glass

Your Toast for the Weekend:

May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,
but never catch up.

Your Greek God/Myth for the day:

Electra: Daughter of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra. After her mother and Aegisthus murdered Agamemnon, Electra, eager for revenge, longed only for the return of her brother, Orestes. The reunion and vengeance of the brother and sister were dramatized by the three great tragedians Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. However, only in the work of Euripides did Electra take an active part in the killing of Clytemnestra. It is said that she later married Pylades, Orestes’ friend, and bore him two sons.

One of the Pleiades. She was the daughter of Atlas and Pleione and mother by Zeus of Dardanus, the founder of what was to become the house of Troy. According to one legend she was the lost Pleiad, disappearing in grief after the destruction of Troy.
After Hesiod, a sea nymph, daughter of Oceanus and Tethys and mother by Thaumus of Iris, the rainbow, and the Harpies.

Your Fun Site for the Day:

Dig this Daddio:
Fun site, for the day
the fog! Moloch whose fate is a cloud of sexless hydrogen!
Moloch in whom I abandon! Wake up in Moloch! Lacklove and manless in
Moloch! Lacklove and manless in Moloch! industries! spectral nations!
invincible mad houses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs! Dreams! adorations!
illuminations! religions! the whole gone down the stoops off fire escapes off
windowsills yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and shocks
of hospitals and jails and wars, Synagogue cast

You to can write like Ginsburg and the rest of the “beat poets”…. http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Ramble/howl.cgi

Your Bill for the Day:

A plague o' both your houses!"
--From Romeo and Juliet (III, i, 94)

Your Quote for the Day:
Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
Don Wood


I remain, buried up to my round ass in paper work with a 10:00 am deadline, later…

JQP CPA

Religious Jokes for your Edification:

Office prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. AMEN!


The Pope vs. Moishe
About a century or two ago, the Pope challenged the Jewish community of Rome to a debate. The Jews looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So they finally picked an old man named Moishe who spent his life sweeping up after people to represent them. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed. He asked only for one addition to the rules of debate. Not being used to saying very much, he asked that neither side be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews win." An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger, to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him, that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Moishe, "first he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here." "And then?" asked a woman. "I don't know," said Moishe.
"He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

The Catholic Priest
A catholic priest was giving confession one day when members of his congregation walked in and said, "Forgive father for I have sinned...I cheated on my husband/wife this week and I have no one else to turn to." The priest would reply, "You are forgiven my child...but try to keep from repeating this sinful nature."

Sunday morning comes and he decides to direct his sermon to all of those people who had committed adultery. The congregation was observant in the priest's actions because he said if they couldn't do better than this he would leave the church. The congregation liked the minister, so they came up with a code word for every time they had committed adultery...they would go into confession and say that they had "fallen" that week.

A couple of years later, that priest had died and was replaced. It came time for the new priest to do confessions and he noticed that many of his members were coming in, saying they had "fallen". The new priest was concerned about his congregation and took it upon himself to go to the courthouse and talk to the mayor.

The priest walks into the mayor's office and says, "Mr. Mayor, you have to do something about your sidewalks and walkways in the community." The mayor looking puzzled asks, "Sidewalks?" The priest says, "Yeah. Many of your citizens have fallen this week!" The mayor realizes what the priest is talking about and says, "There's no need to be concerned father. Don't worry about it and go home."

The priest replied, "No need to worry about it...I think if anyone should be worried it should be you; even your wife has fallen 3 times this week."

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by

Thought for the Day:

Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.
Peter Ustinov English actor & author (1921 - 2004)

On starting a New Religion:

Since I get an average of three marriage propositions a week, I have decided to start a new religion, complete with secret hand shakes, robes, smells and bells, Hell, I already have the church bus. I am planning on basing it on Roman Catholicism and Mormonism and a few other books I have been reading.



This is done for several reasons, first I look damn good in black and second because it would allow me to have many wifes. A working proto-type name would be Mormo-lics. I have always wanted to lead my own cult…and yes you can shave your pits if you must. My God is an accepting God. And best of all its tax deductable.

Some things from a few books that Have me Thinking:

I woke this morning with two lines that I had read in the past few weeks working around in the dark recesses of my mind, as I remember them they are:

“I learned to not look at my life through the prism of the life my father lead”

and…

When Karl Marx was on his death bed he is reported to have said “I was busy listening to the cries from the past, when I should have been listening to the cries from the future”

Don’t know what to do with those to bits yet, but I am sure they are stuck there for a reason.

Your Words for the Day:

Mabuti: Filipino origins- Tagalog word for "good".
Example: Pinay 1: Kamusta? (Greeting, like "Hi how are you?") Pinay 2: Mabuti! (Good - as in I'm doing well)

Gansta Grip: Something that "gangsters" do by holding a handgun sideways, holding a handgun sideways will not only lower the accuracy to a minimum, it is also easy to disarm the ignorant fool that was holding it sideways.
Example: Cop: I’m glad “gangsters” don’t know how to use firearms

Gandu: Hindi word for asshole. Also used to describe someone stupid and incredibly dim witted. Sometimes also used when a person is unhelpful or stingy or just plain anal. Despite certain claims, the word gandu has no connection with homosexuality. A gandu is not a homosexual man, no more than an asshole is a homosexual man. It stems from the word "Gand", pronounced "gaa-nd" which is a crude word for someone's ass. A very popular Indian curse word.
Example: "I'm not surprised he fucked up, he is a gandu!" or "He's not going to help, he's a real gandu"

I hope you enjoyed your multi-cultural words for the day, remember boys and girls to uses each one at least three times today. A yes, this will be on the test.

Your Recipe for the Week:

I made this last night and it was so good I had to have some more of it this morning.
Purloo:
pronounced for you non-low-country folks: Purr-Low, in NC sometimes called a Bog.

3 slices bacon, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium-size green pepper, chopped
1 cup thinly sliced okra
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup (smoked) cooked ham (about 3 ounces) julienned
3 cups cooked rice
1 medium tomato, seeded and chopped
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/8 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Cook bacon over medium heat in large skillet until brown; drain fat. Stir in onion, pepper, okra and garlic; saute 2 to 3 minutes or until onion is tender. Add ham; continue cooking 3 minutes. Add rice, tomato, thyme, salt, bail and pepper flakes. Heat thoroughly; serve as a side dish or a main dish. Makes 4 servings

Your Bill for the Day:

SONNET 16
But wherefore do not you a mightier way
Make war upon this bloody tyrant, Time?
And fortify yourself in your decay
With means more blessed than my barren rhyme?
Now stand you on the top of happy hours,
And many maiden gardens yet unset
With virtuous wish would bear your living flowers,
Much liker than your painted counterfeit:
So should the lines of life that life repair,
Which this, Time's pencil, or my pupil pen,
Neither in inward worth nor outward fair,
Can make you live yourself in eyes of men.
To give away yourself keeps yourself still,
And you must live, drawn by your own sweet skill.

Quote of the Day:

To err is human. (Errare Humanum Est)
Melchior De Polignac

Spiting in the wind and pulling the Mask off the old Lone Ranger, I remain:

JQP DDS

Your Poet-Sage for the Week:

The Motorcycle Song
words and music by Arlo Guthrie

CHORUS:
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die
I just want to ride on my motorcy...cle

It was late last night the other day
I thought I'd go up and see Ray
So l went up and I saw Ray
There was only one thing Ray could say, was:

CHORUS

Just last week I was on my bike
I run into a friend named Mike
Run into my friend named Mike
Mike no longer has a bike. He cries:

CHORUS

Short and to the Point:

Thought for the Day:
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Elbert Hubbard
US author (1856 - 1915)

Status for the Day:
I am out the office today doing the Lords work, so not a lot to say, other than that I am tired very, very tired. Still pulling dbl. duty. More later.

Poem for the Week:

The Dead
Blow out, you bugles, over the rich Dead!
There's none of these so lonely and poor of old,
But, dying, has made us rarer gifts than gold.
These laid the world away; poured out the red
Sweet wine of youth; gave up the years to be
Of work and joy, and that unhoped serene,
That men call age; and those who would have been,
Their sons, they gave, their immortality.

Blow, bugles, blow! They brought us, for our dearth,
Holiness, lacked so long, and Love, and Pain.
Honour has come back, as a king, to earth,
And paid his subjects with a royal wage;
And Nobleness walks in our ways again;
And we have come into our heritage.

Your Bill for the Day:
"Oft expectation fails, and most oft there
Where most it promises; and oft it hits
Where hope is coldest, and despair most fits."

--From All's Well That Ends Well (II, i, 145-147)

Quote of the Day:
The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
Alfred Lord Tennyson English poet (1809 - 1892)

Play nice children,

I remain, ever more and still here:

JQP

By Request:

A Pill that makes it all Better:

Some people prescribed an anti-depressant drug have found an unexpected side effect: they have an orgasm when they yawn. The drug clomipramine usually elevates mood and boosts physical activity and appetite. However, the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry reports four patients on the drug had orgasms on yawning.
"There is a small subset of people who are affected this way," commented Dr. Martin Godfrey, a London GP who has prescribed the drug. "I understand they find this side effect quite pleasant."

One woman who took clomipramine told researchers it cured her depression but she wanted to go on taking it because of its peculiar properties. She found she could experience an orgasm even by deliberate yawning. And a man who had also taken the pills said he was "highly satisfied" with the drug's usefulness.

Around five per cent of clomipramine users report the side effect, though for most people the drug inhibits the ability to reach orgasm. The New Scientist says that the drug's users have been comparing notes on the Internet and speculating on its unusual consequences: people who experience it would presumably seek out the most boring person they could find at parties.


I think she was a client Once:

Every month in "The Journal of Human Sexuality," they publish a "case of the month."

One of my favorites involved a married woman who went to the gynecologist complaining of a malodorous discharge.

The doctor performed an exam, but the discharge wasn't characteristic of any of the usual maladies that sometimes plague women.

He wasn't all that alarmed, though, until the results of the pap smear came back.

The report indicated that the cells "weren't human." It didn't venture a guess as to the origin of the cells — it just indicated they weren't a type of cell that you'd see in a human being.

The doctor asked the woman to come back for a repeat exam. He put her in the stirrups, inserted his speculum into the woman's vagina, and scooped out a large piece of loose, decaying flesh.

Remarkably, it looked like a long tongue, but certainly not a human tongue.

The woman, upon questioning, finally confessed that her husband was a hunter. He had recently brought home a deer and gutted and dressed it in their garage. She saw the tongue, admired its length, and had snuck off with it to use as a masturbatory aid.

She didn't remember leaving it up there.


JQP esq.

...and many thanks to the sick grp. of people who read this Blog:

Next up a showing of the best of the over 60 hairy armpit pits I have gotten from you my readers:

Hairy is the New Shaved:

I dear and loving wife told me not long ago the purple was the new black, well dear reader you heard it here first, hairy is the new shaved....

HOLLYWOOD
beauty Penelope Cruz has found the perfect celebrity disguise - stop shaving your legs and nobody even looks at you! Tom Cruise's stunning ex sprouted hair all over her body for her latest role as a poverty-stricken nurse. And as well as saving time, she bought herself some privacy.



Penelope, 30, said: 'I wouldn't shave my armpits and I wouldn't shave my legs.
'I wanted to see how people would look at me. 'Nobody recognised me. They were avoiding looking at me because they were embarrassed for me.



'I liked that experience.'

Penelope relived her hairy moments in an interview with US magazine Jane. Her new film, Spanish language production Don't Move, is out in the States this month. Forgetting to shave doesn't seem to have done the sultry Spaniard any harm. Her career continues to go from strength to strength,and new man Matthew McConaughey has helped her put her split from Cruise behind her.



And in any case, she is far from the first A-list celeb to leave her razor behind. Pretty Woman star Julia Roberts is famous, or notorious, for airing her hairy armpits at the premiere of Notting Hill. Julia copped plenty of catty comments but she had the last laugh when she was offered $1million to advertise deodorant.

Gossips claimed Emma Thompson's armpit hair had to be airbrushed out of film The Winter Guest after the distributors complained. Tennis ace Steffi Graf worked up a sweat on court with no sign of a razor finish. And it was a case of The Growth is Out There for X Files star Gillian Anderson when she waved at an awards bash and displayed the fuzz under her arms.



Research has shown that women who don't shave their armpits are viewed as aggressive and antisocial.

(My kinda Girrrl!)

JQP esq.

Sign, Sign, everywhere a Sign:

Thought for the Day:
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday. John Wayne US movie actor & director (1907 - 1979)

A brief Weekend Recap:

Friday
I went to a fish fry at one of the local Parishes and oddly enough was soon enlisted to help with the event, by the end of the evening I was in charge of the bar (silly, silly people) never the less I was able to disengage myself from my labors of serving beer for Jesus (I am sure he understood) and made my way to my favorite bar, where I joined several of my co-workers from here at the Meat-Packing-Plant.

Dear reader that is where the night becomes cloudy…mistakes were made and alcohol was a factor. A lesson learned was that; friends are much cheaper than taxi’s when you should not be driving.

Saturday:
I started out my day with a brisk walk 7 miles in length to retrieve my truck from the establishment that I had been so heinously over-served at the previous evening.

Upon my return to the manor, I was suppressed to see my Little Flower, sadly I did not have the time I had thought I would to clean our home in anticipation of her arrival, a point that was brought to my attention no less than 37 times.

Being that I was looking and feeling my best I felt a general retreat was in order, which myself and the hounds did. I busied myself in the kitchen making chili (I make some damn good chili). Just before noon, I got a call from my family that I should come down, that grandpa was failing, so I did, and he was…

I fed my extended family and spent some time with him.
Mrs. JQP was wonderful…I was thankful that she went with me, after her long trip to the Home of Country Music. That night, I had to fly off to a Sunday afternoon appointment in Portsmouth, NH where some people wanted to talk to me and talk we did. I even got some free meals out of the deal. Boston sucks to fly in and out of, btw….

Sunday,
In Portsmouth…don’t you just love waking up in a Holiday Inn? Add to that that you don’t have a car and you live a lifestyle that has a bit different hours than anyone else. So, I got to take the walking tour of costal Portsmouth (did I mention that its still winter up there? And I looked like a homeless person wondering the closed and darkened streets at dawn looking for food and coffee).

Later that afternoon I flew back to the Cultural Mecca that is Indiana, and once again my wife and I stormed down south to be with the family, where which of course I ended up cooking deer meat in the garage of a neighbor, drinking his home-made beer with about 34 member of my family and a few hanger-on’ers. Both my wife and I called it quits around 12:00 and where home in bed by 2AM this morning.

Monday:
Yes, my grandfather is still with us, I was asked to do funeral, no pressure there, however on a plus side I had taken him and pre-planed his last wishes two years ago, so that part should go easy. This morning, I am in meetings and hope to slide my skinny white ass out the door and get some sleep before I head back down south. All in all a normal weekend.


Your Poem for the Day:

The Kingfisher

IT was the Rainbow gave thee birth,
And left thee all her lovely hues;
And, as her mother's name was Tears,
So runs it in my blood to choose
For haunts the lonely pools, and keep
In company with trees that weep.

Go you and, with such glorious hues,
Live with proud peacocks in green parks;
On lawns as smooth as shining glass,
Let every feather show its marks;
Get thee on boughs and clap thy wings
Before the windows of proud kings.

Nay, lovely Bird, thou art not vain;
Thou hast no proud, ambitious mind;
I also love a quiet place
That's green, away from all mankind;
A lonely pool, and let a tree
Sigh with her bosom over me.

W.H. Davies

(Thanks to Mr. CC Morris, who sent me this poem along with the biography of the Late Great Governor Long, of Louisiana)


Quote of the Day:
You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
James Thurber US author, cartoonist, humorist, & satirist (1894 - 1961)

Off to the trenches, dear ones, with fixed bayonets, I remain:

JQP esq.

Ten days till the Day:

TEN days…dear reader….ten days……

What shall I say about the Irish?
The utterly impractical, never predictable,
Something irascible,
quite inexplicable,
Irish.
Strange blend of shyness,
pride and conceit
And stubborn refusal to bow in defeat.
He's spoiling and ready to argue and fight,
Yet the smile of a child fills his soul with delight.
His eyes are the quickest to well up in tears,
Yet his strength is the strongest to banish your fears.
His faith is as fierce as his devotion is grand
And there's no middle ground on which he will stand.
He's wild and he's gentle, he's good and he's bad,
He's proud and he's humble,
he's happy and sad.
He's in love with the ocean,
the earth and the skies,
He's enamored with beauty wherever it lies.
He's victor and victim,
a star and a clod,
But mostly he's Irish and in love with his God

I liked this one for today....

John Q. O'Public

I would rather have my balls ripped off by a Monkey:

Chimpanzee Attack:

On Friday, authorities continued to investigate how two chimps at an animal sanctuary escaped from their cage and mauled St. James Davis, 62. They were shot to death during Thursday's attack by the son-in-law of the sanctuary's owners, Virginia and Ralph Brauer.

Davis, 62, and his wife, LaDonna Davis, 64, were visiting the sanctuary to celebrate the birthday of a 39-year-old chimpanzee, Moe, who was taken from their home in 1999 after biting off part of a woman's finger.

The couple had brought Moe a cake and were standing outside his cage when the two young male chimps, Ollie and Buddy, attacked the man.

The chimps chewed off most of Davis' face, tore off his foot and attacked his limbs and toe of his genitals. Davis was transported to Loma Linda University Medical Center, where he had surgery late Thursday night.

ok, mother-fucker, you balls ripped of by monkeys? shit and I thought I had a bad week..

(and in other news)

U.S. says coalition forces fired on car carrying Italian hostage in Iraq:

U.S.-led coalition forces fired on a car carrying a freed Italian hostage as it approached a checkpoint in Baghdad Friday, wounding the former captive and killing another person in her car, a U.S. military spokesman said.

Damn….