Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Reading List:


Hotties I read:

Until I get back, be good!


Monday, September 25, 2006

Going Away Party Highlights and the Week Ahead:

time well spent

The Macedonian Road House is a great place to throw a party.

A shit load of people showed up.

It was nice to have so many of our friends there.

Someone else took care of our bar tab.

It’s best not to ask the question “what’s in this sausage”.

There was a great deal of full frontal nudity.

Tiny does in fact know every song ever recorded.

At least three “love-connections” were made

A box of 15.00 cigars was smoked.

Pastor Bob’s odd sexual habits were made known.

There was a limo service taking people back and forth.

Lots of pickled farm produce was consumed.

There were no fist fights.

ND won.

It’s never a good idea to ride a horse into a crowded bar.

Our house looked like a field hospital the Sunday morning with the bodies of all the people who spent the night lying around.

I went to Mass Sunday.

This morning I woke at 3am, to put my Flower on a plane.

Today is my last day at work.

I have a new job.

I am burying a St. Joseph statue in my yard today.

It’s very good to know that I will be missed “very” much by some people.

I am packing and loading from here on out and will be heading West sometime early next week.

Next blog posting will be in a few weeks, from my new desert hideout.

Until then I wish you all the joy and happiness you deserve.


Слова К.Подревского


Ехали на тройке с бубенцами,
А вдали мелькали огоньки...
Эх, когда бы мне теперь за вами,
Душу бы развеять от тоски!

Дорогой длинною,
Погодой лунною,
Да с песней той,
Что вдаль летит звеня,
И с той старинною,
Да с семиструнною,
Что по ночам
Так мучила меня.

Да, выходит, пели мы задаром,
Понапрасну ночь за ночью жгли.
Если мы покончили со старым,
Так и ночи эти отошли!

В даль родную новыми путями
Нам отныне ехать суждено!
Ехали на тройке с бубенцами,
Да теперь проехали давно!

Once upon a time there was a tavern,
Where we used to raise a glass or two.
Remember how we laughed away the hours,
And dreamed of all the great things we would do.
Those were the days my friend,
We'd thought they'd never end,
We'd sing and dance for-ever and a day,
We'd live the life we choose,
We'd fight and never lose,
For we were young and sure to have our way.
Lalala lah lala, lalala lah lala
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days.

Then the busy years when rushing by us.
We lost our starry notions on the way.
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern,
We'd smile at one another and we'd say:

Just tonight I stood before the tavern,
Nothing seemed the way it used to be.
In the glass I saw a strange reflection,
Was that lonely person really me.

Through the door there came familiar laughter.
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

a Little Williams for my Fan:

I have eaten
the plums

that were inthe icebox
and which

you were probably

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious
so sweet

and so cold

Friday, September 22, 2006

Doing the Mosh-Pit Polka:

(…and enjoy a sing along with family and friends, this the first weekend of the Fall.)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Going Away Party:

Our House is for Sale:

From Tiny's Blog:


Flip Off....Er, Send Off Mr. And Mrs. John Q. Public. (Or, Full Frontal Nudity Welcome. No Checks Please.)

As you may have gleaned from an earlier post, Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Public are leaving for Phoenix. SOOOOOOOOOooooo.......It's time for a going away party; AND the Final meeting of the original and official NLT crew, prior to our seven-figure syndication and franchising deal taking effect... And YOU"RE INVITED!

If I may quote from earlier invites to similar soirees.....

"You and your guest will find yourself in the company of Media Giants, Exotic Entertainers, Captains of Industry, Intellectuals, War Heroes, Public Safety Professionals, and Intrepid Explorers of the Land, Sea and Air; also Representatives of the Law Enforcement, Health and Human Services Fields, Poets Laureate, Convicted Felons, a few Bolsheviks and a Gypsy or two.(If you're not a member of one of these subsets, come anyway....we need some variety!)"


The Southtown Inn
6811 Old Decatur Road
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Phone: 447-9101

Heading south out of town on 27 (the bad side of town), pick up Old Decatur Road behind Scott's Grocery (the one with the giant cornucopia). Drive through two lights, (Pettit and Paulding Roads,) You will pass a Buddhist Temple on the right, followed by another one on the left, then the Jewish Cemetary on the right; after that is the Southtown Inn on the left (east) side of the road. If you hit Tillman you have gone too far, turn around and try again.Look for a bar that looks like a place where Steel Workers and Bikers would drink; that will be the nexus of the celebration.

Cash Money only...No Checks. No Debit Cards. No ATMs. Bring a little extra dough so you can take home some Macedonian pickled produce.

I know that we're having a No-Love Thursday on Saturday--consider it the exception that makes the rule...that's not to say that Thursday might not still find us at the mahogany bar, as well...but that's looking less and less like a viable option....

This promises to either be the social soiree of the year; or an opportunity for Bail Bondsmen in two counties to reap a healthy profit. Either way, you won't want to miss the fun!! And if you're reading this, consider yourself on the guest list. It's gonna be one of those kinds of parties. Wear your best pair of underwear. You just never know. Join us, won't you, Gentle Reader?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Hell Yes:

Naked Bike Ride

Been Busy:

playing with the lads

Sorry, besides getting quotes from movers, packing, selling my shit, looking for a new house, selling my old house, bringing my staff up to speed and to find a new job, I took on some contract work that I will call “Government Transition Assistance” in Southeast Asia. I feel coup is such a strong word.

So, when I am back in the states and am able to catch my breath a bit I will up-date you on the saga of the Family Public, and the 14 going away parties that are being held in our honor. Till then, don’t go changing I like you just the way you are.


Monday, September 18, 2006

Busy this Week:

(I am actively training my loyal and dedicated staff in the hopeless cause of trying to step into my shoes, that and packing etc…)


Thursday, September 14, 2006



I get to spend the day in Indy. Mitch Daniels staff of storm troopers kindly invited me to share some quality time. So, if anyone wants to buy me lunch in this states capital I am open and yes No-Love-Thursday is on, bitches.


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Your Peeing Girl for the week:

priceless pee
(Check out the roast beef curtains)

Ti-Yi Yippy, Muther-Fucker:

Thought for the Day:
Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living. Miriam Beard

The Winds of Change:
Let me take you the reader back two weeks. My Flower was sitting at her desk, doing the voodoo that she do, when the phone rang. A gentleman on the other end said, “So, I hear you’re the best at your job in the nation, want to come work for me?”. Thus my story starts.

After a week of contract negations and a few flights, we are moving to the Jewel of the Southwest, Phoenix, Arizona where I will be a kept man and able to finally write the great American novel.

Currently we are looking for movers, trying to sell a house in this shitty market, and looking for a place to live. Not to mention, I have to find a job since I am leaving my lucrative career in Bible Sales and Salt Mine Operations. So, if you know anyone in the Phoenix area, warn them.

Plus any ideas on moving across country in general or Phoenix in particular are most welcome, oh and tips on traveling with pets (I want to put the hounds down but she wont hear of it, women…). I have two weeks to get this shit all sorted out and be there. So, pray for us or sacrifice a goat/chicken what ever it is you do. It’s been kind of a mind fuck.

Quote of the Day:
Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone.
The Dhammapada


Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Bad and Nation Wide:


Indiana Wants Me:

Mmm mm-mmmm-mm
Mmm mm-mmmm-mm

Indiana wants me
Lord, I can't go back there
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can't go back there
I wish I had you to talk to

If a man ever needed dyin', he did
No one had the right to say what he said about you
And it's so cold and lonely here without you
Out there the law's a-comin'
I'm scared and so tired of runnin'

Indiana wants me
Lord, I can't go back there
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can't go back there
I wish I had you to talk to

It hurts to see the man that I've become
And to know I'll never see the morning sun shine on the land
I'll never see your smilin' face or touch your hand
If just once more I could see
You, our home, and our little baby

Indiana wants me
Lord, I can't go back there
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can't go back there
{police sirens}
I wish I had you to talk to

I hope this letter finds its way to you
Forgive me, Love, for the shame I put you through and all the tears
Hang on, Love, to the memories of those happy years
Red lights are flashin' around me
Yeah, Love, it looks like they found me

Indiana wants me
Lord, I can't go back there
Indiana wants me
Lord, I can't go back there
I wish I had you to talk to

Indiana wants me (this is the police, you are surrounded)
Lord, I can't go back there (give yourself up)
Indiana wants me (this is the police, give yourself up)
Lord, I can't go back there (you are surrounded)

Folks, I am Knee Deep in it this Morning:

potty dude
(Stay tuned to this Bat Channel for a noontime posting, till then hugs and kisses to your special parts.)

Monday, September 11, 2006

Hairy Pit Extravaganza:

cute pits

cute pits two

cute pits three

hairy and sweat

hairy dago girl

Meeting Monday:

(Watch this space for a special announcement, till then make up your own caption.)


Friday, September 08, 2006

I’m sitting at the bus depot, rolling my own cigarettes, waiting for the Plasma Center to open:

Thought for the Day:
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.
H. L. Mencken, 'Prejudices: Fourth Series,' 1924

thug 01
(“JQP is the mighty fist of God” Nolff, Lord of the Monkey-Shark Hybrids)

On this Morning:

I woke-up at 3:11 AM

I woke my Bride up at 3:14

We got out of bed at 4:45

I dressed her and helped her pack

I put my Flower on an aero-plane.

Mama’s gone for the weekend…

I thought to myself, “Self, you could get into a lot of trouble” I said “Yeap”.

I get home and find out she had taken my credit cards and my ATM card and left me with McDonalds gift certificates and 11 dollars.

I think… I am going to try to exercise some self control this weekend and not get into any trouble.

I had a bacon-egg-cheese biscuit, hash brown and coffee for breakfast.

tray guy

Your Drinks for the Week:

The Super Dave Cocktail

Drink Ingredients
1/5 Grenadine
1/5 Amaretto
1/5 Blue Curacao
1/5 Bailey's Irish Cream
1/5 Melon liqueur

Pour each ingredient slowly down the side of a glass, in order, they will settle nicely layered. I am told it also forms a strong adhesive bond and is currently being tested by NASA.

Adios Motherfucker

Drink Ingredients
1 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. Jose Cuervo Dark Tequila

Layer in a shot glass. I love buying this for annoying frat boys and/or ex-jocks, order in 3’s, have them shoot all three. There is something about this that if they have been drinking beer, three will make them stupid (more so) and then very sick. I like to roll them in the ally afterward. Hey, how do you think I got this Pike money clip and this neat Rolex watch (Love Mom and Dad 2001).

The Hairy Mexican

Drink Ingredients
1 Part Peach Schnapps
1 Part Real Cheap Tequila

Mix tequila and peach schnapps into a big glass with ice. Shake well and strain into shot glass. Can't even taste the tequila, you might even have a chance at getting laid before she pukes all over the inside of your Hummer.

The Manchurian Candidate

Drink Ingredients
1 shot Stoli Vodka
1 dash Soy Sauce

First pour vodka, then soy sauce, into the shot glass. Give someone six of these and you don’t need to waterboard them.

Your Bill for the Day:
"O, what men dare do! What men may do! What men daily
do, not knowing what they do!"
Much Ado About Nothing (IV, i, 19-21)

Quote of the Day:
The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.
Oscar Wilde

I remain, you ever more humble servant:

JQP Esq.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

With Girded Loins and Sharpened Steel:

Thought for the Day:
Let's assume that each person has an equal opportunity, not to become equal, but to become different. To realize whatever unique potential of body, mind and spirit he or she possesses. John Fischer


Random Things:

Last NLT meeting we elected a new President, Super Dave also known as JWB IV. We change Presidents in this organization more often than most African dictatorships. It was a small meeting but big in thirst, thirst for truth, knowledge and pitcher after pitcher of beer.

On Saturday, my Flower and I attended the much anticipated Notre Dame-Syrian Lovefest-Land O’ Lakes Girl Birthday Party. It was a big success. The food was awesome and ND won. I send my complements to BBG for her skills in the kitchen and in performing the exotic Samardzija Dance and also to Obi GY-Kenobi for the Gin and Juice.

I went out with last Sunday with an old chum from my days at Oxford, Tattoo John, who is recently returned from Equatorial Guinea, where he was actively involved in prospecting for bat guano.

Monday, I was stricken with Black Water Fever, which I assume I contacted after drinking water from a mud puddle on a dare.

I read three books over the weekend; currently I am reading a Lenny Bruce book that I have been putting off.

As a result of my current infirmities, I will not be in attendance at tonight’s No-Love-Thursday meeting, and yes, I have a note from my doctor.

My Flower returns from taking her class at Notre Dame today and then she is off once again doing that voodoo that she do, by that I mean promoting boy bands at county fairs across the Midwest.

It sucks being sick alone, there is just so much Campbell’s soup you can nuke and acting pathetic when you by yourself is kind of silly.

I am going to try to work a full day today, mind over matter, if you don’t mind it don’t matter. That's why I am a winner.

(Your Carnie of the Week)

Today’s Bill:
O, beware, my lord of jealousy;
It is the green-ey'd monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on."
From Othello (III, iii, 165-167)

Quote of the Day:
Work and struggle and never accept an evil that you can change.
Andre Gide

I remain, the Burger King Mascot of your Nightmares:

JQP Esq.

The Morning News:

Clinton team calls ABC’s 9/11 feature ‘fabrication’
By Howard Kurtz
Washington Post

WASHINGTON – Top officials of the Clinton administration have launched a pre-emptive strike against an ABC-TV “docudrama,” slated to air Sunday and Monday, that they say includes made-up scenes depicting them as undermining attempts to kill Osama bin Laden.

Former secretary of state Madeleine Albright called one scene involving her “false and defamatory.” Former national security adviser Sandy Berger said the film “flagrantly misrepresents my personal actions.” And former White House aide Bruce Lindsey, who now heads the William J. Clinton Foundation, said, “It is unconscionable to mislead the American public about one of the most horrendous tragedies our country has ever known.” ABC’s entertainment division said the six-hour movie, “The Path to 9/11,” will say in a disclaimer that it is a “dramatization ... not a documentary” and contains “fictionalized scenes.” But the disclaimer also says the movie is based on the Sept. 11 commission’s report, although that report contradicts several key scenes.

Berger said in an interview that ABC is “certainly trying to create the impression that this is realistic, but it’s a fabrication.” Marc Platt, the film’s executive producer, said that although it “does contain composite and conflated scenes and representative characters and dialogue, we’ve worked very hard to be fair. If individuals feel they’re wrongly portrayed, that’s obviously of concern. We’ve portrayed the essence of the truth of these events. Our intention was not in any way to be political or present a point of view.”

The former Clinton aides voiced their objections in letters to Robert Iger, chief executive of ABC’s corporate parent, Walt Disney Co., but the network refused to make changes or to give them advance copies of the movie. They were not interviewed by ABC; it hired as a co-executive producer Thomas Kean, the Republican who chaired the Sept. 11 commission, but no Democratic members of the panel.

“In an undertaking this gargantuan,” Platt said, “it’s impossible to interview every single person available, and we didn’t believe we needed to.” He said that “maybe I’m naive” in thinking that hiring only Kean would not prompt criticism of a political slant.

The fierceness of the debate reflects a recognition that a $40 million miniseries – whose cast includes Harvey Keitel, Patricia Heaton and Penny Johnson Jerald – can damage Clinton’s legacy in the anti-terrorism fight on the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks.

The assault on “The Path to 9/11” assumed the trappings of a campaign Wednesday. Four senior House Democrats – John Conyers Jr., Jane Harman, John Dingell and Louise Slaughter – have written Iger to demand that the inaccuracies be corrected. Spurred by the Center for American Progress, which is headed by Clinton chief of staff John Podesta, 25,000 people have sent letters of protest to ABC.
(More Proof of the Vast Left Wing control of the Media)

School bus driver charged with drunken driving
Associated Press

NEW ALBANY – School district officials suspended a bus driver after her weekend arrest on a charge of being drunk while transporting 13 cheerleaders and their coach.

The cheerleading team from New Albany High School was on a bus returning Friday night from a football game against Jennings County in North Vernon when the team’s coach became concerned because the driver seemed confused and was driving erratically, said Tony Bennett, assistant to the superintendent for operations for the New Albany-Floyd County schools.

The coach persuaded the driver, Sylvia Cooke, to exit from Interstate 65 and stop at a gas station near Uniontown, where state police were called, he said. Cooke, 60, was arrested on a drunken driving charge after a test found she had a blood-alcohol level of 0.19 percent, more than twice the state’s legal limit to drive of 0.08 percent, according to state police.

She was released Saturday from the Jackson County Jail on $700 bond. Cooke could not be located for comment because no home telephone number is listed in her name. Bennett said that Cooke, who had driven a daily bus route for New Albany High School for the past 18 months, has been suspended while the school district investigates her arrest.
(Being a Church Bus Driver, I understand.)

Teen slain in Kokomo attempted robbery
Associated Press

KOKOMO – A man who took a gun when he answered a knock on his door shot two would-be teenage robbers early Tuesday, killing one and wounding another, according to police. Howard County sheriff’s deputies responding to a report of shots fired about 12:30 a.m. found a 16-year-old boy lying near the street in a pool of blood.

The teenager, identified as Nathan Marcus Paul Smith of Kokomo, died at the scene.
Lt. Greg Hargrove said Smith had suffered a gunshot wound to the chest. Justin Smith, 17, of Peru, was treated for a gunshot wound to the knee a short time later at a local hospital, where he acknowledged to investigators his role in the robbery attempt, police said.

He was not immediately charged and was scheduled to undergo surgery Wednesday at an Indianapolis hospital. The home’s resident, Michael A. Slonaker, 61, told investigators he heard someone knocking on his front door and that he armed himself with a handgun before answering.

He told police that when he opened the door, two males – one with a shotgun and one with a baseball bat – were standing on the porch. Detectives later found a shotgun and a baseball bat on the ground near his front porch. Slonaker fired two shots at the teens, who police said are apparently not related.

“Slonaker is licensed to carry a firearm,” Sheriff Marty Talbert said.

“However, a permit is not required to possess a handgun in your own home, or on your own property.”
(Guess Kokomo is not the place you want to rob old men.)

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Your peeing girl of the Week:

biker girl peeing

Knocked Down but Not Out:

texas mail
(I am sick like a little bitch, ergo nothing of note today, however I invite you to make your own caption. More on the week past as time and my brittle health allow.)


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Sick Call: