Monday, February 28, 2005

Snapping back Wash after Wash:

Thought for the Day:
Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living. Miriam Beard

On Fly-fishing and getting Spit on:

My weekend started on fairly normal. I returned home from my travels far and wide on Friday, took a restful nap and awoke with the decision that

A) I didn’t feel like cooking
B) I didn’t feel like going out

So I did nether, both of which decisions my kind and loving wife Mrs. John Q. Public supported. While she may be on a very strict dieting regimen she never the less agreed to order a cheese pizza (it is after all Lent, and really, how much fried fish can one man be expected to eat esp. when it is served in parochial school cafeterias, with beer or soda, and a 50/50 drawing).

We then watched a few movies, none of which were note worthy and retired by 11:00. See, dear reader, we can act like grown-ups at times. On a side note, I baked bread.

I woke at 4 and went running with my new leg brace, I got in about 2 miles before the damn thing rubbed me raw in a few very sensitive areas. Returned to the manor house and showered in preparation for a morning of teaching the willing minds of my fellow man (and woman). The class went well, and we finished the material early so I let them go. (Hell, I get paid by the class not the hour).

When I got back to our ever so humble home I found my intrepid and task oriented wife had in my absence decided to:

A) Rotate her tires
B) Change her oil, using an inflatable child’s pool as a catch.
C) Change all of her filters.

Needless to say, after laughing to the point of tears, I hurried into the home and changed my clothes. Now I have some strong feeling about vehicle maintenance. I feel that if I do it, I am putting some poor struggling guy out of work, the bread winner for his family, think of all those guys (and their families) who work at Grease Monkey who would be on the welfare roles if we all started to doing our own oil changes.

I feel it’s my duty in post 9-11 America to support our economy, "w" said so, so my unwillingness to get down under one of our trucks is actually a patriotic statement.

I first noticed a problem; in that when she started this process she had just returned from picking up all the necessary supplies. She had the entire truck on two car-stands, one Coleman camp stove and a part of a 2 by 4, and my “Handy-Man” jack. I should at this point note this is on a 30 degree incline. You see my wife has taken multi-tasking to a whole new level, she doesn’t start one task she starts them all, at the same time and to varying degrees of success.

All four tires were off and lying around the yard and a rather large oil slick was rolling from under the truck. You see the child’s inflatable pool, was not rated to withstand, say the heat from recently run engine, while resting against a manifold, after dropping the oil plug, a hole formed and yes, dear reader the pool went flat. All and all a very funny moment if it wasn’t my truck, my wife and my drive way.

It took about two hours to clean up the mess and put things back in order, after sending her inside to get cleaned up. I had just finished when she came out and said, "...hurry and get changed, I have to go get my hair cut." Now I don’t know about you, but I quit needing someone to go with me to get my hair cut when I was about 12 years old, so I thought it odd.

She informed me that we were going to a co-worker of hers house and his wife was going to cut her hair, I said OK, but still why do I need to come, she said because I want you to, dear reader sometimes it is best to follow the path of least resistance. I showered and changed once again; set-out some Porterhouse stakes (planning a butter, mushroom and onion gravy, fresh bread and asparagus, for supper) and off I went.

Now I enjoy this co-worker of hers, he is a fun guy, very much the gentleman out-doors-man, he greeted us in the garage of his estate, where he had been actively working on the electrical system of one of his Land-Rovers, and he called my arrival a welcome distraction and plied me with Single Malt Scotch for fortification.

My wife went inside to get her hair cut and I started thinking to myself this might turn out to be a great afternoon, we then started smoking some Cohibas. Oh, how the Worm turned for me, dear reader….

Our conversation turned to a mutual love, the sport of fly fishing. After spending an hour or two looking a flies, we went into his yard and practiced casting with some on the most expensive fly-rods I have ever seen, let alone been allowed to cast with.

Ok, I am a guy; it was fucking cool as hell.

After that and a bit more Scotch, we then went into his gun room and got into a long discussion about trap shooting. However, here is where I made one of the classic mistakes; I was not providing adult supervision toward the shy and easily lead astray, Mrs. JQP.

It seems that there is a custom in some hair cutting circles to drink alcohol while getting ones hair cut, now while I am not opposed to the concept, it has never happened to me over at “Ned’s Cut-and-Shave” (home of the $5.00 cut and if he is in a good mood he will tell you about getting shot in the ass in Korea).

It seems the ladies had in our absence drank three bottles of wine and were well on their way through a fourth. I know, your asking about her hair cut, it looked fine, no problems there, however the noticeable issues were that my kind and loving wife, had developed the trait of pronouncing every thing and everyone as “sweet”. Yes, she was in love with the S-sound.

Well, since our host had a school function to attend with their 6 children, we took our leave and motored toward home.

It was while making this trip that the excitement craving and adventurous Mrs. JQP, suggested we go to one of the adult-dancing establishments over by the interstate, which I being the dutiful husband agreed to.

Upon our arrival we were greeted like long lost family, it seems the girls all know and love Mrs. JQP and the manager is an acquaintance of mine from days that are best left un-discussed. My little flower then proceeded to drink, and drink she did. Yes, dear friends, mamma got both her drink and party on.

It is at this point that I fast forward a from 4 in the afternoon to 2:00 am, where you will find both myself and my wife leaving the “Rugby-Bar” after an evening of drinking the likes of which I have never seen from her (being the Dbl D, I felt it best not to match her drink for drink).

When we returned home she started "giggling" and attempting to box me, with taunting lines like “sssComeon, sssfffucker, I will kickss yur’ assss”. I suggested she might want to watch her foot work, at which point she fell flat on her ass, on our recently well oiled drive way, she then got inside and into the shower all under her own power and what a power it was, as I was soon to find out. Now, the shower was both a good idea and a bad one…she was dirty but I should of watched her a bit more closely, you see she decided to was high time to start remodeling the downstairs bath…more on that later.

After getting my little flower out of the tub, she went to the refrigerator and starting looking for something to eat, I at that point heard the warning sign, her "giggle", I turned to look at her hoping my cat like reflexes would once again save me from injury or harm, it was however not to be.

My flexible and combative wife hit me in the head with a frozen Kielbasa sausage, not once but a minimum of four times. Knocking me to the ground, all while "giggling" that scary giggle.... that only she gets. While lying on the floor tasting my own blood, she spit on me, and said those now famous words: “You went down early Bitch, didn’t you”. Still "giggling" she then left me to give chase to the hounds who were watching this event from what they thought was a safe distance.

After about 10 minutes I was able to both stop my bleeding and disarm her of her frozen sausage, which she then demanded I cook for her. Which I did, allowing her to fall fast asleep (falling asleep in this example, is a code-word for passing out). I put a pillow under her head laid her on her side and covering her in all those hand towels and throws that we are never allowed to use (because they are for “good”) and left her sleeping in the hallway,

....oh, sleep well and have the dreams of angels.

I awoke to a bed shared with the hounds, who at some point thought the pack would offer the best protection. I checked to see if the restful and drooling Mrs. JQP was still breathing (she was). I went downstairs and cooked breakfast for the dogs and I. Which oddly included Kielbasa sausage and poached eggs, the hounds found it wonderful. I then left to visit my friends at Lowe’s to buy a new shower doors. I spent the morning installing said doors.

My little flower awoke at 2:00 pm, saying she had one of the worst headaches of her life and what strange dreams she had. Yes, dear flower, loving wife, it was a strange night for you. But, hey make-up sex kicks ass, esp. if you were not mad in the first place (I wasn’t).

We then went to the late Mass, I came home and cooked the steaks I had been wanting on Sat. and we read in front of the fire, turning in around 9 pm. All, in all, a good weekend, extreme, but good.

Vacation Countdown:
15 days and a wake up. Back down where the beaches, food, and friends are.
And on a side note, mamma leaves for Nashville in the morning to hang with the stars of country music.

Your Poem for the Day:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken US poet (1874 - 1963)
(Granted not the whole poem but the part everyone knows)

Quote of the Day:
I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic.
Lisa Alther, Kinflicks, 1975

A ray of sunshine, I remain:

JQP esq.

News in the City of the Rivers:

(Sub-titled: We take our law mighty serious, around here Buddy)

Ticket for loud radio disquiets business, Frank Gray

They’ve been selling stereo equipment at Classic Stereo at State Boulevard and Clinton Street for 40 years now. The biggest part of their business involves wiring new homes for home theaters with surround sound. But car stereos are still a good part of their trade.
They’ll sell you a compact disc player and install it for $110 if you’re looking to go cheap. But once in a while someone will want a monster system put in his car and be willing to spend the money to get it.

As happened a couple of Saturdays ago. A couple in their 20s who had just gotten a tax refund wanted a first-class system put in their sport utility vehicle, so the people at Classic replaced every speaker in the car and installed new speakers, including some subwoofers, amps and sophisticated controls. The whole setup cost around $1,900.

When somebody buys something as simple as a low-priced CD player, you don’t have to teach them how to use it. But a system with lots of controls takes a little instruction.
So the manager at Classic, Kevin Hauff, pulled the car out of the garage and to the front of the business, and sitting in the store parking lot started to show them how to make it work. He had the system turned up some, he said, loud enough that it could be heard outside the car, but not so loud that he couldn’t talk to the couple and tell them how to operate it, he says.

The woman who was buying the system, Regina Gowen of North Manchester, said she turned the volume up when she first turned the car on, and it was incredibly loud, so she turned it down right away. It’s quite a system, she says, with a subwoofer that really hits hard, but it wasn’t so loud that she couldn’t hear Hauff talking to her.

As Hauff was sitting in the car, he looked up, and standing right next to him was a police officer. The officer asked for an ID. What? Hauff said he asked. Can I see an ID? He said the officer asked.

The officer collected IDs from everyone in the car and walked back to his patrol car while another officer, whose name he didn’t get, remained standing. Before long the other officer came back with a ticket for the couple, charging them with violating the city’s noise ordinance. Hauff said he asked what was going on. One of the officers, Hauff said, told him they had honked at him, but that he had ignored them.

Gowen said she had heard a horn honk but hadn’t paid any attention to it. Hauff said he saw the police car sitting at the light next to the business, probably two car lengths from where his customer’s car was parked but didn’t think anything of it. It’s a busy intersection and police cars pass by all the time.

He didn’t notice any honking, though, he said. That’s understandable. Thousands and thousands of cars pass through the Clinton-State intersection every day, including lots of heavy trucks that make a racket. After awhile you tune the noise out.

The ticket for his customers doesn’t make a lot of sense to Hauff. They’ve been selling stereos on that corner for 40 years. Last summer they had a show featuring the big bass woofers that some people install in their cars – the ones that make the trunk lid rattle like the lid on an open soup can.

Three or four years ago, he said, the store had a three-day show, with people from all over the country showing off their gear. People with fancy sound systems could show up, crank up the volume and have their systems’ output measured. None of his neighbors complained then, he said. In fact, he says, none of Classic’s neighbors has ever complained about noise from the shop.

Then, two of his customers get a ticket as they are being shown how to operate the controls on their new system.

Hauff said he pretty much kept his mouth shut during the exchange, except, he says, when he asked for his license back and said he had a business to run and was threatened with arrest. He acknowledges that the woman at one point said something to the effect that, “I didn’t turn the bleeping sound down ’cause I couldn’t find the bleeping controls.”

Hauff said he told the police it was private property, and one officer responded that that’s like saying the police couldn’t come on the property and arrest someone for smoking crack. But they’re not selling crack, Hauff said. They’re selling stereos. Some might be so loud they’re illegal, he joked, but it’s a legitimate business.

Gowen says she’s going to fight the ticket.

Michael Joyner, public information officer for the Fort Wayne Police Department, said he couldn’t fault the officers involved. The police didn’t make the law; the public did, he said. And the ordinance is clear. If you can hear something 30 feet from its source, it’s a violation because it interrupts the public’s “repose,” as the ordinance states, and the officer has the discretion of citing you or issuing a warning.

The noise ordinance provides exceptions. For example, companies are allowed to make noises that are customary and incidental to their normal conduction of business. That raises a curious question. Was Hauff doing business? Was he disturbing the repose of neighbors?

That’s what irks Gowen. She knows her system is designed to be loud and that she might get a ticket sometime. For the sake of the business, though, she says she thinks the ticket was wrong. Classic was just trying to run its business, she says, and show a customer how its product works. For her part, Joyner said, Gowen will have her day in court. She can explain that she was just learning how the system worked.

You can’t help but wonder, though. At an intersection where the roar of trucks often drown out the sound of your car radio, whose repose was being disturbed?

Ok, this place is right downtown, along side a truck-route. Is it just a case of WTF? Or, by God, are those noisy punks go to pay? You decide.

(having bagels and shrimp, coffee blk)

From the Desk of Mrs. JQP:

We went to war to find weapons of mass destruction, right?

No, wait, it was to remove a dangerous dictator.

Well, it could have been to stop terrorism.

Oh, sorry, it was to help spread liberty and freedom.

Wait a second, it was to help create a stable middle east.

That's right, it was to create world peace.

Well, at least it was for all the right reasons, certainly not to help anyone's friends and family to cash in and make some money.

Can anyone say "Ca-Ching" ... ?

Stock sale nets Bush uncle large profit
Thursday, February 24, 2005 Posted: 10:39 AM EST (1539 GMT)

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush's uncle made more than $450,000 last month by selling stock in a defense contractor whose profits are growing because of the Iraq war, records show.

William H.T. Bush made the money by exercising stock options in St. Louis-based Engineered Support Systems, Inc. Bush is a member of ESSI's board of directors and therefore had to report the sale to the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Bush, the youngest brother of former President George H.W. Bush, did not return a telephone message Wednesday afternoon. He told the Los Angeles Times, which first reported the stock sale Wednesday, that he had not pulled any strings in Washington for the company.

ESSI on Tuesday reported record income of $20.6 million for the three months ending January 31, a 31 percent increase. The company said the expansion came mainly from increases in ESSI's military contracts. Those include adding armor to military trucks, refurbishing trailers the Army uses to haul tanks, and supporting satellite communications for troops in war zones, ESSI CEO Gerald Potthoff said in a statement.

Bush cashed in stock options on January 20, weeks before the company's latest earnings report. SEC documents show he sold 8,438 shares of ESSI stock -- at a profit of $53.36 a share -- for $450,251.68.

Bush wasn't the only ESSI official to cash in on the company's rising stock price. Five other officers or directors of the company have sold stock so far this year, SEC records show, with two of them profiting less than Bush and three making more. The biggest windfall went to Gary C. Gerhardt, the company's vice chairman and chief financial officer, who made nearly $7.5 million from selling stock on January 31.

The Pentagon's inspector general is investigating whether an ESSI subsidiary improperly got a contract to make equipment from the Air Force. That contract was overseen by Darleen Druyun, a former Air Force contracting official serving a nine-month prison term for contract fraud involving Boeing.

I love it when she talks politics to me....


From Pastor Bob's Bunker:

Pastor Bob and W

An open letter to Chuck Colson, by Jim Wallis

On Monday, Feb. 21, Charles Colson, in his daily radio commentary, criticized what he perceived as my message. I'm sending my response in this "open letter." + Read the commentary

Dear Chuck,

In your commentary, "Moral Equivalency: The Religious Left Gets It Wrong," you critiqued me as a "leader of the religious left," quoting The New York Times. And you particularly focus on abortion, saying that I consider "all moral issues to be equivalent," and that since I say the Bible talks much more about poverty than abortion, I believe "the religious left is more in tune with the Bible than are conservatives."

As you may know, I'm currently traveling around the country speaking about my new book, God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It. And in all my speaking and media appearances, I say no such thing. What I do say is that there is, in the words of the late Joseph Cardinal Bernardin, a "seamless garment of life" in which all issues that infringe on human life are important.

I challenge Democrats on abortion, and I challenge Republicans on war and poverty. In a recent interview with Christianity Today, I said: "It's important for the Democrats to change the way they talk about a moral issue like abortion, to respect pro-life Democrats, to welcome them in the party, and to talk first about how they are going to be committed to really dramatically reducing unwanted pregnancies - not just retaining the legal option of abortion, which Democrats are going to do, because that's part of their plank." But I also said, "My hope is that Republicans can broaden their conversation about moral values beyond just abortion and gay marriage to poverty and the environment and the ethics of war."

I believe deeply that Christians must seriously be concerned about everything that threatens the lives of people created in the image of God. Abortion is important; war and economic justice are also important.

You also ask your listeners, "Why help the poor if we don't believe all lives are equal in God's sight? If you support ending the life of a child because it will be born into poverty, how can you logically call yourself an advocate for the poor?" The reverse is also true. If you support protecting an unborn life but don't provide the necessary support to the mother and child in poverty after birth, how can you logically call yourself pro-life?

As I told Christianity Today: "Christians can't say, 'All we care about is someone's stance on abortion. I don't care what they do to the economy, to the poor, I don't care what wars they fight, I don't care what they do on human rights.' It's almost like we care about children until they're born and then after that, they're on their own. We're cutting child health care, cutting child care for moms moving out of welfare. No, you can't just care about a child until they're born."

My message to both parties - to both liberals and conservatives - is that protecting life is indeed a seamless garment. Protecting unborn life is important. Opposing unjust wars that take human life is important. And supporting anti-poverty programs that provide adequate support for mothers and children in poverty is important. Neither party gets it right; each has perhaps half of the answer. My message and my challenge are to bring them together.

What I'm saying around the country is that there is a new option for American politics that follows from the prophetic religious tradition. It is "traditional" or "conservative" on issues of family values, sexual integrity, and personal responsibility while being very "progressive," "populist," or even "radical" on issues such as poverty and racial justice. It affirms good stewardship of the earth and its resources, supports gender equality, and is more internationally minded than nationalist - looking first to peacemaking and conflict-resolution when it comes to foreign policy questions. The people it appeals to (many religious, but others not) are very strong on issues such as marriage, raising kids, and individual ethics, but without being "right-wing," reactionary, or mean-spirited, or using any group of people - such as gays and lesbians - as scapegoats. It can be pro-life, pro-family, and pro-feminist all at the same time. It thinks issues of "moral character" are very important, both in a politician's personal life, and in his or her policy choices. Yet it is decidedly pro-poor, pro-racial reconciliation, pro-environment, and critical of purely military solutions.

That's the message that is resonating around the country, Chuck. Not that all issues are "morally equivalent" but that, indeed, as you say, the "first one, the right to life, is non-negotiable." Perhaps the difference between us is that I believe that non-negotiable right continues after birth.


(Pastor Bob’s wish is that the people of this great land know that the moral church going follows of this land, do not all wear jack-boots and march in step to the beat the that great little drummer boy Geo. Jr.)


Saturday, February 26, 2005

Love, hate, and long marriage;

Your Joke for the weekend:

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.The old woman would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared her They believed she practiced blackmagic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.

The old woman liked the fact that she was feared. To everyone's relief, she died of a heart attack when she was 68.He had a closed casket at the wake.

After the burial, he went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.His neighbors, concerned for his safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The Man put down his drink and said,

"Let her dig.I had her buried upside down......."

Off to teach my class, I remain:


Friday, February 25, 2005

Fried Fish

Your Thought for the Day:

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
Frank Zappa US musician, singer, & songwriter (1940 - 1993)

Your Drink for the Weekend:

“The Easy Girl on Steroids”
Fill Pint glass with Ice and Stack
2 oz. Yukon Jack
1 oz. Jagermeister
1 oz. Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum
Dash of lime juice
Fill with Red Bull

Your Southern words for the Day:
Aorta: - I Ought To
Example: “Aorta Kick Yore Ass !”
Cahoots: In Collaboration With
Example: “That there dubba is in cahoots wit em air rich folks.”
Hunker: Stoop Down
Example: “I hunkered down afore I shot that feller.”

Your Bill for the Day:

From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty's rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory:
But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes,
Feed'st thy light'st flame with self-substantial fuel,
Making a famine where abundance lies,
Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel.
Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament
And only herald to the gaudy spring,
Within thine own bud buriest thy content
And, tender churl, makest waste in niggarding.
Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee

Your Drinking game for the Weekend:
Circle of Death
Type: Card Game
Players: 3 to Unlimited
Items Needed: Deck of Cards
Put deck of cards face down in a circle. One person starts by calling out a suit. The person next to him picks up one card. If the card matches the suit, that person has to gulp the value of the card. All numbers are face, Jacks=11, Queens=12, Kings=13, Ace=1.

Don't count your own gulps. Going one person at a time, the person to your left, starts with 1 and it continues around the circle until the number has been reached. The people in the circle can count as fast or as slow as they want. If you put your drink down on the table before calling another suit, (you can call the same suit) you have to drink all over again.

Songs of the Day:
The Sonics- Have Love, Will Travel
Caesars- Jerk It Out

Your Greek God-Goddess/Myth for the Week:
Philemon ( and Baucis )
He was a kind, pious elderly man, husband of Baucis. Despite their poverty, they gave a warm welcome to Zeus and Hermes. Before they came upon the elderly people, they had been refused hospitality by wealthier and more dignified people. As punishment, the gods turned the entire region into a swamp, but they changed the cottage of their hosts into a temple.

The granted the elderly couple a wish, and Philemon and Baucis asked to serve the gods as guardians of the temple. When their life came to an end, they were turned into a oak and a lime tree. Ovid VIII, 611.

Your Toast for the Weekend:
Ooogy Wawa! Zulu for drink up you silly shit, before the lion eats us, or something like that.

Quote of the Day:
If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
Isaac Asimov US science fiction novelist & scholar (1920 - 1992)

More News later, I remain:

JQP a swell guy

Thursday, February 24, 2005

What’s in your Wallet?

On dinner with Friends and Sex-Toys:

There was a long discussion last night about sex toys (with a mixed crowd, about 12 of us, at an up-scale restaurant, and a few bottles of wine) a debate ensued over the use and/or effectiveness of Ben Wa balls. This debate got so heated that one members of the group announced that she was in fact wearing some “right now” at which point she excused herself and returned to proudly display them (I of course was busy picking myself up off the floor, this was someone you never would of thought had sex unless it was to procreate, let alone wear sex aids to work or out to dinner for gods-sake).

Yes, brothers and sisters it was a “Well, I’ll be God-damned” moment. She said, and I quote “I wear them to work all the time, out shopping, running, everything” At which point another of the group blushed and pulled out a vibrator about the size of my pinky from her purse, it had three speeds and a pulse, and was almost silent, ok folks I about shit right there, that somebody was Mrs. JQP

Hello, like what the fuck, over? I didn’t even know she liked sex. They then went on to talk about orgasms they had had while doing normal run of the mill stuff…and best of all no one even knows….women are god damn sneaky…
and I get the don’t come home from the tity bars, looking to finish off what someone else started (I don’t, know what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

(sub-title,”And best of all it’s a Daisy”)

Well, on the drive home, Mrs. JQP asked why I was so shocked. My reply, was ok, if I would of stood up and dropped trousers and shown off a “Pocket-Pussy” (which the ads say feels just like your Prom Date) how would she of felt.

She said that that would have been gross, to which I reminded her of the night her and her friends (or as I like to call them the coven of witches) decided to get into a contest to see who could pee standing up the farthest, while on the second floor deck, mindless that my car was parked right bellow, that was gross (esp. if your not into that sort of thing, and/or a disappointment that you were not alerted if you are). That should give you an idea of how the evening progressed.

Back on subject: Sex toys, yes or no? In public, yes or no? and can I watch, hey its research for a book I am writing?

I remain, more reliable than the Energizer Bunny:

Fellow Kinsey Institute

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Me, just stringing barbwire, what are you doing?

Thought for the Day:
Good laws have their origins in bad morals.
Ambrosius Macrobius

My new Look:
Well friends and neighbors since I shaved off my beard and got a high and tight hair cut (something in the works, JQP? You ask…perhaps dear reader, perhaps). Several of you have wanted to see a picture of what I looked like with my rather hansom facial hair. So, I have decided to include in this post a picture, while not of myself that would serve to give you the reader a visual representation of what I did look like.

While, I remain dashing to an extreme, I look less like the scary guy at the gym. Or as Mrs. JQP said, “thank god that’s over, back to looking mean, you sex dog.”

I shaved my nipples for you

(sub-title, I shaved my nipples for you baby! Pure Sex, eh what?)

My Day:
I had started out this morning thinking about going on a rant about our current political environment (NPR, BBC, and Fox News in the morning who need coffee to get your heart going), but alas it’s all been said before and will continue to be said.

On Work:
Since my 30 days in the hole seems to be up and I am once again responding to emergencies, so I am dressed like an English professor today, the only thing I am missing is the pipe and the tweed sports cap. Off to court I go, in to a case I know a great deal about, so it should be a fun day, that and I know the defense team, they always try to fuck me up or over, which helps keep me focused and is where I shine.

Later tonight I am teaching a class in a far off land, so, that should a bunch of shits a giggles. All between getting ready for a site visit, I love site visits, but then again I am a bit of a show off.

Your Multicultural word(s) for the day:
Nago: member of the Indian language 'Gujarati', def; pervert, someone who has a dirty mind or could also refer to someone who cant be trusted.
Example: George W. Bush nago che!

Gadouch: when someone of Italian descent kills/performs a “hit” on someone while the victim is using the toilet.
Example: Tony, Tony, Tony!!!! If ya don't shut yer mouth, ur gonna get gadouched!!! ya understand!!!???

(Remember, use these words at least three times in conversations today, it will really impress your boss, on your grasp of modern language)

Your Poem of the Day:

Drinking Song
from Bloody Brother

DRINK to-day, and drown all sorrow,
You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow.
Best, while you have it, use your breath;
There is no drinking after death.

Wine works the heart up, wakes the wit;
There is no cure 'gainst age but it.
It helps the headache, cough, and tisic,
And is for all diseases physic.

Then let us swill, boys, for our health;
Who drinks well, loves the commmonwealth.
And he that will to bed go sober,
Falls with the leaf still in October.

John Fletcher

Your Bar Trick for the Week:
Drink a Shot from an Unopened Bottle Trick
Bet someone at the bar $5.00 you can drink a shot from an unopened bottle of B & B!

Here's how it’s done: Simply turn your bottle of B & B upside down and pour a shot into the bottom of the bottle, and drink it. You have fulfilled your end of the bargain - you have taken a shot directly from the unopened bottle. Its so easy, you can do it drunk.

Quote for the Day:
Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.
Spanish Proverb

I remain, over worked and underpaid, but valiant never the less:


Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Granted a late Weekend Review:

Thought for the Day:
When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.
Martin Luther King Jr. US black civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 - 1968)

Well, since I was asked my weekend was no more odd than usual.

Since my loving wife was once again a slave to the machine of popular opinion she had to work a gig on Sat. So rule-out plans to dash off to Memphis, they were for naught. She suggested I go alone but when I reminded her of the last time I went far and wide with the Memphis crowd (J. Thom being the ringleader) and the arrest record we had to get expunged. I am still misty eyed about not getting my Gus’s Fried Chicken but there is always next month, that and my god-daughter has a birthday coming up.

When I got back to this great city of Three Rivers from my fun filled day with "My Man Mitch" and his hand picked junta, (My God, Murphy, how do you not slit your wrists, these people have no clue, nor do they want one).

My cell phone rang, it was some dear friends who work in the service of the Federal Government and they we in town to do a training on Saturday, their party was reinforced by several members of our local law enforcement community, (see, guys I told you I wouldn’t use your names) and they were enjoying a few cocktails at one of those establishments over between the truck stop and the interstate. Gladly I stopped by, for only a few moments (two hours and three laps dances) but all in all, it was a very rewarding visit with my old chums.

I like the way these people think, scary but over all very entertaining.

I made my exit and then met the Sweet and Loving Mrs. John Q, Public at my favorite bar (a few Bombay Sapphire and Tonics, tall dbl lime, and Absolute and Tonics, one lime, one lemon, tall, for my bride) to celebrate her going on tour with yet another “Boy-Band” this time one with a country theme, so she will be hanging out with someone named Vince (who for a change is not of Italian descent).

Word of advice, look-out Nashville, mamma will be rolling into your town next week, with guns a blazing. Or has she likes to put it these days “Boots and Saddles, lets Cowboy-Up!” Yes, dear reader, such is the joy of my life.

We then left and I went home and made shrimp with a curry-mango sauce and a tomato salad. Very tasty if I do say so myself, then of to bed all by 11:00pm.

Was the day, my pretty flower had to cover a work commitment (thus the reason for the nixed road trip) so I had the day to myself. I woke early as is my custom and had breakfast at a local greasy-spoon (steak-rare, two eggs over easy, black bread toast, and a large tomato juice) on the unfashionable side of town. I then did some shopping at three butcher shops and returned home to once again start work on the up-stairs bath, after nine trips to various hardware & big box stores, I said fuck-it and took a shower and a had a nap.

At 7:00pm we were invited to Pastor Bob’s brother-in-laws thirtieth birthday, once again held at my favorite bar. Our party included, Pastor and Mrs. Pastor Bob, The Prince of Car Sales (the birthday boy) his wife the Painless Dentist (yes, she is a dentist) her brother and his girl friend and their cousin and spouse (not our normal crowd).

Dear friends, the drinking began, and oddly it was not me doing it, after dinner (both my sweet and kind wife and I had the steak) the group decided that no one was allowed to have the same drink more than once, it seems the theme of the evening was to have our stomachs as well represented has the United Nations General Assembly.

Thankfully, the drink took quick effect and I was able to bow out after entertaining representatives of Mexico, Germany, Russia, and Sweden. They however continued on their quest for racial and cultural unity. We then left for what would turn into a four bar tour of the of this great city. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to drive the church bus. The only problem was when Pastor Bob and I got into a heated discussion about short cuts and we accidentally ended up in another state (my foul, coach). Around 4:00 AM, we called it a night…

I had the early Mass, so off I went looking and feeling my best. The words of my grandmother echoing in my head “I don’t care what the hell you did last night, this morning you’re going to go give an hour to Jesus”, wisely I left my intrepid and vomiting wife at home.

Upon my return to the manor I started working on the up-stairs bath yet again, but got a sudden stop work order from the powers that be, due to the fact the tearing down a wall, does not foster a restful sleep for a music promoter of her caliber.

I then went to visit my family and returned home after I nice dinner, to find my wife still in repose, it seems she felt the need to take some of her “head-ache” medicine. I then spent the rest of the evening watching to Military Channel, the BBC and ESPN, I joined her in the Master Suite at around 11:00 PM.

All in all a fairly normal weekend and Dobbs no visits to the hospital this time around, spring must be in the air.

On Indiana News:
The state house has decided to chime in with great moral authority on the subject of same sex marriage.

Ok, here is my take, if you don’t want to marry someone of the same sex, don’t. If you don’t want to go to a gay marriage, don’t. You don’t even have to send a card, or buy a fondue pot. If your church doesn’t allow gay marriages, keep on going if you’re that against it (mine frowns on gay marriage, but for some reason is still struggling with the issue of pedophilia).

Hell, I have been to a few gay commitment ceremonies, I love shopping for them if its two guys, it is fun to go buy sporting goods and/or power tools, one thing I have learned is that guys are guys, gay or strait. Mrs. JQP my sweet and giving wife, echoes the same thoughts about female commitment ceremonies, that and fuck brothers and sisters the catering is always kicks ass.

Todays Bill:
Why then tonight let us assay our plot."
From All's Well That Ends Well (III, vii, 43-44)

Quote of the Day:
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
Edgar Allan Poe US short story author, editor, & poet (1809 - 1849)

Back to Finding ways to open my own Bar in Coastal Nicaragua, I remain:

JQP esq.

Monday, February 21, 2005

RIP Uncle Duke

Your Thought for the Day:
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
Hunter S. Thompson US journalist (1939 -2005 )

Gather around, oh Brothers and Sisters of the Out-Lands:


It is with a heavy heart I write this, at 5:00 am this morning I learned that one of my life-long idols, a role model if you will, passed away from a self-inflected gunshot wound.

HST in Vietnam.

Hunter S. Thomson was more than a whacked-out author/journalist, he showed a way of life to those of us who prefer to color out-side the lines of convention.

I first read HST at the ripe old age of 14, its was his book about his time spent with that male social club known as the Hells Angels, what a light hearted group of lads they were, with their search for truth, kicks and chic’s all without our losing a childlike wonder at the world.

Later, I read everything I could get my hands on. In the late 80’s I heard him speak, and found that while a great writer (without HST there would be no PJ O’Rourke) he was a difficult to follow speaker, perhaps it was the water glass full of Bourbon, perhaps it was to many drug fueled road trips into the desert.

I was never the less honored when the great man signed a bottle of Kentucky’s finest for me and not a little broken hearted when he left with said bottle.

Rest easy good man, your travels are now at an end, a toast to you, our Jack Kerouac, our warrior-sage.

On a side note:
I didn’t have my reoccurring dream last night about a "Post Apocalyptic Beach Party with Jumping Hippy Cave Girls:, perhaps dear friends it was a sign, you know being half Irish and half Gypsy I believe in such things.

However the sweet and loving Mrs. JQP had a dream that during the night I had packed up all of our belongings and loaded them into a moving van, where she found me laying naked on the hood, and according to her, when asked why I was naked on the roof a moving van, I replied, “Baby, where we are going we don’t need clothes.” Wonder what Freud would say about that?

Your Quote of the Day:
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S. Thompson US journalist (1939 -2005 )

Humble, as only I can be, I remain:

John Q. Public, esq.
(more news later)

Your Poem of the Week:

The Set-Up
Snake oil sales
were slow. So I hung

out my shingle on
a shadow.

Desk-drawer liquor

A dead man’s loan. Soon
chinless stoolies

slunk & doorjambed —

that she ain’t no
good, that she wears a watch

on both wrists. Too
many midnights.

Evidence mounting like butterflies

Still I made them informants
for phonies, phoned

to hear her breath.
She was faith

enough to believe.
She’s a peach. A pistol.

I waived my fee

I left my agency

Came home to rooms ran-
sacked, tossed

by invisible hands.
Hip flask. Blackjacked.

mickey slip, slug.

I woke doubled & crossed

Drug, ferried
through whisky alleys

Bruisers, suicide doors

The crooked chief interrogated
me about her body

She’s no more mine, no eye
witness, nor alibi

No one will attest she ever
did exist.

I was her autumn guy

By the wharf was left
waterlogged & wise

My dogs dead
tired, I humped it

home, humming gumshoe blues.

by Kevin Young
from Black Maria

She-Goddess and her Joke for a Monday:

President Bush and Dick Cheney are having lunch at a restaurant.

Cheney orders the heart-healthy salad.
Bush leans over to the waitress and says, "Honey, could I have a quickie?"

The waitress is horrified.

"Mr. President," she says,
"I thought your administration was bringing a new era of moral rectitude to the White House. Now I see how false that was."

And she marches off in a huff.

Cheney leanes over and says,
"George, it's pronounced 'quiche.'"

Well Done! she who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men...


John Denver, your dare-devil flyer and Poet-Sage of the Week:

glad it was rental

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a day that I could give youI’d give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for youI’d sing a song to make you feel this way
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely

Sunshine almost always makes me highIf I had a tale that I could tell you
I’d tell a tale sure to make you smileI
f I had a wish that I could wish for youI’d make a wish for sunshine all the while
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always

(Sunsine almost always what, John? How about next time we fly over the wires?)

Sunday, February 20, 2005

What I heard before Mass today:

While sharing a cigarette with the a few of the Nuns before Mass today I heard this one...

The teacher says, "Let's discuss what your fathers do for a living."
Mary says, "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts bad guys in jail."
Jack says, "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all sick people better."
The teacher says, to Johnny, "John, what does your Dad do ?"
Johnny says, "My Dad is dead."
She says, "I'm sorry to hear that. But what did he do before he died?"

Johnny says, "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."

now that one made me giggle...

JQP esq.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Your Passion Play for the weekend:

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his office Christmas party. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping-- Love you

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night."Jack son answers "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door!"

Jack says, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a red rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"His son replies, "Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,"

'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!'

"Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Post Apocalyptic Beach Party with Jumping Hippy Cave Girls:

You may say I am just a dreamer, but I am not the only one:

I just wanted to take a moment and share a scene from reoccurring dream I have been having. In which I drive across the once Great Lands of Ohio and the Upper Mississippi Valley in a Hot-Rod 1976 Trans-Am (think Smokey and the Bandit) armed with FN-FALs, Mac-10s and HK-91s and of course a few LAWs rockets, with my dingo’s beside me, looking for the next angry fix, cold beer or good BBQ.

hippy_cave_girls jumping

Yes, friends this is my dream, this is my nightmare, or perhaps it’s a sign of road trips to come, truth be known I have not a clue, but you would be well advised to keep you hands and arms inside the car at all times and in the event of sudden cabin depressurization, breathe in slow normal breaths.

Venting with the Powers that Be:
Off to “No Love Thursday” with my co-workers and a few members of the judiciary and law enforcement communities.

Motto for the Weekend:
Got a pool? I will piss in it.

I remain,

JQP (Convict No: 970368)

Tap dancing in the Mine Fields of your Mind:

Dear Brothers and Sisters:
Well, since I am going to be out and on the wide open road for a bit here is your Friday/Weekend Post. All my best and if you need a bail bondsman over the weekend just drop me a line.

Your drinks for the Weekend:

The Fly Guy Special

Pour liquor into mixing glass Stir & Stain into an Up's Glass
1/2 oz. Southern Comfort
1/2 oz. Amaretto
1/2 oz. Midori
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Splash of 7-up
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with Orange Wedge

Shark Fucker

Pour liquor into mixing glass Stir & Stain into an Up's Glass
3/4 oz. Malibu Rum
3/4 oz. Midori
1 oz. Pineapple Juice
After these ingredients are in the up's glass
Pour 1/2 oz. Blackberry Brandy (float to Bottom)
Pour a float of Jagermeister on top

Your Urban Words/Phrases for the Weekend:

You're putting too much on it: Making something into a big deal.
Throw salt on my game: To interfere with my plans (or to mess up my scheme).

Your Poem for the Weekend:

Buffalo Bill'sdefunct
who used to ]
ride a watersmooth-silver s
tallionand break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat Jesus he was a handsome man
and what i want to know ishow do you like your blueeyed boy
Mister Death

e.e. cummings
(I am going thought a big e.e. phase these days)

Your Bill for the Weekend:

King Henry VI, Part III, ACT V

Father of Warwick, know you what this means?
Taking his red rose out of his hat
Look here, I throw my infamy at thee
I will not ruinate my father's house,
Who gave his blood to lime the stones together, 85
And set up Lancaster. Why, trow'st thou, Warwick,
That Clarence is so harsh, so blunt, unnatural,
To bend the fatal instruments of war
Against his brother and his lawful king?
Perhaps thou wilt object my holy oath: 90
To keep that oath were more impiety
Than Jephthah's, when he sacrificed his daughter.
I am so sorry for my trespass made
That, to deserve well at my brother's hands,
I here proclaim myself thy mortal foe, 95
With resolution, wheresoe'er I meet thee--
As I will meet thee, if thou stir abroad--
To plague thee for thy foul misleading me.
And so, proud-hearted Warwick, I defy thee,
And to my brother turn my blushing cheeks. 100
Pardon me, Edward, I will make amends:
And, Richard, do not frown upon my faults,
For I will henceforth be no more unconstant.

Now welcome more, and ten times more beloved,
Than if thou never hadst deserved our hate.

Enjoy your end to the Weeks Labors:
Kind and Gentle readers, I am off to no-love-thursday at my favorte bar, which opens in 10 mins. Then in the early hours off to Indy and land of Murphy to visit with My Man Mitch. Until that time when we met again, I await with bated breath....

Still, very easy to find, but willing to go looking, I remain:


Youth and the Public Man or Why I want to Quit Today:

While being a quitter is not something that people often attribute to me, there are however some things that I would like to quit. The list might include: Heroin, Nude Sky-Diving, Street Fighting and Auto-Asphyxiation.

Granted all of these things are F-U-N!, but there comes a time in every man's life when you realize that they might not be “what’s best for you”. To this list dear reader today I add being a guest speaker in a Middle-School, as a good friend of mine who happens to be an educator said to me not long ago “Middle School sucks even if they pay you to be there”.

Yes, friends, that is where I spent my morning, talking to a gym full of 600 children pumped so full of hormones and food additives (you should see the size of these kids, we didn’t look anything like that when we were 13) that and the fact that they were in close proximity to each other caused them to at once begin acting like a half staved pigmy tribe feasting upon intestinal worms. Yes, such is the never ending joy of my life.

You see dear reader, they tend to grow-up...

All my best, again and again (say my name, damnit), I remain;

JQP M. Ed, PhD.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

My Black Speedos and Gold Chains:

On Health:
Since my latest battle with the demons of past illnesses that tend to visit upon me once every three or four years has abated, I find time to celebrate and give thanks. There is something satisfying in meeting your deductible, in say the first three weeks of the new year, its all gravy for here on out, dog.

The plus side was that I read a total of 28 books and caught up on a lot of paper work. I furthered the cause of medical knowledge by having something that no one had seen in the mid-west before.

Best of all, before this most recent period of confinement I had started to develop a little bit of a paunch around my mid-section.

So, dear readers in memory of my little paunch:


Yes, dear friends, with the added benefit of being deathly ill and repeatedly hospitalized I have been able to take off a startling 28 pounds since the first of December, just in time for swimsuit season, yes girls look out! wax my back and put me in a pair of Speedos here comes "John Q. Public esq." only one love handle to worry about now (how’s that for a Mac-Daddy line?).

I remain,

JQP (Former Mr. Indiana 2001)

(Ed.note: I found this little Ponch in Murphys bedside table last time I house sat for her, I didnt ask...nor should you)

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Lunch with G-man and a few of the fellows

The theme for our luncheon was:
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Scott AdamsUS cartoonist (1957 - )
Man I am in the wrong line of work...
after a venting session led by the G-Man (all center mass, I still have the touch, guess I am old school I still like my 45).
We meet up with the "Fellows" at one of thier clubs for free lunch and drinks and only a little lip-stick on my shirt (note to self, buy the sweet and loving Mrs JQP this shade and hide the shirt until she wears it)... Funny, I have been told by some of my co-workers I smell of breath mints and cheap body spray... how very odd....
Anyway, I feel much better, thanks for asking!

On the Joys of Service to my Fellow Man:

Your Thought for the Day:
If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. Niccolo Machiavelli Italian dramatist, historian, & philosopher (1469 - 1527)

(God-Damn, but I am glad I read Machiavelli at an early age, his works sit on my book shelf right next to The Anarchist’s Cook Book and my bound editions of Soldier of Fortune magazine.)

Aggressive personality:
Dear reader, I had my Mac Daddy moves all planed out, oh yes…she would be mine, Mrs. JQP was to be putty in the hands of the master. Sadly, I did not turn my cell phone off, I had been home about 15 mins. and just started supper when I got a call, one of those, this is what you make the big bucks for, suck it up, calls. The only cool thing was that the folks who called me are people I respect and enjoy working with.

So, on the road I went. In my line of work there are few things more frustrating than not being able to prove what you need to. What made it worst was that when I got there I knew the prick, a card he played the second I got there. Needless to say, my Lentil vow of not hurting someone has come into question.

(the next 6 paragraphs are edited out but will be sent via e-mail to those of you who are accustom to such things, of course without any identifying information)

I then returned to the manor house at about 9:30, my sweet and loving wife had already made supper, and what a wonderful supper it was, she knew I was out on a shitty call, so she made me one of my all time favorite comfort foods, Pork Chops and Pork Chop gravy, nothing soothes the soul like gravy bread, (and yes, this is how white trash I am). She even made hominy (of course from a can), I was so fried that after supper I fell fast asleep.

This morning, I got called in to the big dog’s office, it seems there is a feeling that I might be a little to involved in this case, so I am getting pulled. At first I was pissed, then I was hurt, that has never happened to me before, but as I sit here, and think that yes, hate is coming much, much to easy for me these days, it is a sign that I am under a lot of stress, so perhaps I should take a step back, you guys are right, thank-you for looking out for me....

That’s what I told them anyway, you don’t stay one step ahead of them by reacting to their shit. It was suggested I spent some time engaging in a few of my hobbies, perhaps go to EAP, take time of the on-call role, work more at the office, so I just got off the phone with friend (who for the sake of confidentiality will only be known as the G-Man, he and I are going to have a three hour lunch and blow of some steam). So, there….

Post-Note: I was just asked if I would like to take the day off, guess, I must of pissed in someones pool big time (insert giggle here) last night, but it's nothing but a bump in the road, Oddly while I was typing this the G-Man called me and said that he had invited some mutual acquaintances out to lunch with us; these two gentlemen are club owners and one of whoms wife makes the best god-damn Pasta cu i 'ammari I have ever had in my life, fuck I hope he invites us over for dinner.

Road Trip:
Well, the Sweet and Loving Mrs. JQP told me this morning that she has an event that she has to cover both Friday and Saturday. We had planed on her going to the “Big-Wig” meeting with me in Indy, chilling in the Brick-city and then heading to Memphis in the morning, getting us there in time to start eaten. So, that kind of fucks up Plan A, her Plan B is for me to head on down after my meeting alone and have a good time and truth be known my Plan C would be to see what kind of shape Grandpa is in.

Work seems to think the road time out of town would be good for me and they are right, spending time with J Thom, Mel and my God-daughter (she is just cute as hell) eating Ribs and Chicken and meeting Blues & Jazz ppl while drinking comp’ed drinks at BB King’s place (and yes, I have met him more times than I can count) would be a welcome distraction. So, who the fuck knows.

On Moods and there Effect:
Other than that, I am oddly in a great mood, there is something very rewarding about having a place to focus you rage and your anger. Funny, its like its not even about what happened, things tend move into history, its like the prize isn’t wanted anymore or is un-important, what becomes important is the rage, and oddly its kind of fun, truth be known I have not felt this good since I was in the service of this great nation. Shits and giggles....

I am giddy like a little school girl. Oh, the fun I can have, all because I am a very, very patent man. Perhaps that might be the subject for another post well after the statute of limitations has expired. (On advice of Counsel, I am to insert that the above was a work of fiction and an experiment in creative writing)

Your word/Phrase for the Day:
Wack Bastard: Common insult, usually pertaining to a man.
You wack bastard, I oughta smack you in the mouth!

Your Recipe for the week:
Since Easter is coming up and many people buy their little girls rabbits for the holiday I thought I would give you something practical to do with that family pet when your child no longer has and interest in it.

Rabbit and Pork Pie with Gin and Lemon:
3 3/4 cups (375 g) plain flour (All purpose)
1 tsp salt
2/3 cup (150 ml) 1/4 pt water
125 g lard, cut into small pieces
250 g boneless rabbit meat, cubed
11 generous tsp Dijon mustard
6 juniper berries, crushed
500 g minced pork
250 g unsmoked bacon
4 tbsp gin
1 tsp finely grated lemon zest
beaten medium egg, to glaze
1 packet of aspic powder
300 ml water

1. To make the pastry: Sieve the flour with the salt, make a well in the centre. Heat the water with the lard until the lard has melted, pour this mixture into the flour.
2. Mix to a soft dough and knead until smooth. Keep warm, covered, or it will dry out.
3. Preheat the oven to 200°C, 400°F, Gas Mark 6.
4. Put the rabbit into a bowl with the mustard and juniper berries, stir until the pieces are coated.
5. Process the minced pork with the bacon and then stir in half the gin, with the lemon zest and parsley.
6. Line the base of a 1 kg loaf tin with greaseproof paper and then line the whole tin with three-quarters of the pastry, keeping the remainder wrapped in a warm place until required.
7. Stir the rabbit pieces into the minced meat mixture and press the mixture into the lined tin.
8. Cover with a pastry lid made from the rolled out, reserved pastry. Seal and crimp the edges firmly, slash the top several times and pull back the pastry so the holes do not close during cooking.
9. Put the tin on a baking tray and bake it for 30 minutes, glaze with the beaten egg and then reduce the oven temperature to 180°C,350°F, Gas Mark 4 and continue cooking for a further 1¼ hours.
10. Make up the aspic powder using 300 ml water, add the remaining gin and pour the liquid slowly into the cool pie.
11. Once set, wrap the pie and store it in a cool place for several days before you cut it.
serving amount, serves 4 - 6

(And who says the English can’t cook)

Today’s Bill:
"How now? A rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!"
--From Hamlet (III, iv, 23)

Today’s Moral to the story:
Little men would do well to let sleeping dogs lie

Quote of the Day:
To live well. It is the greatest revenge. The Talmud

Predictable and still easy to find, often to a fault, I remain:


NAZARETH :Your Poet Sage for the Week






chorus solo
chorus chorus chorus

(and yes, I know its in all caps, but hey Baby its Rock and Roll)

Thinking of you on this day, I remain:


Monday, February 14, 2005

little Pink Houses for you and me...

People often ask: JQP, why dont you post some pics of that wonderful old Victorian home you lovingly call the bane of your existence?
Well, dear reader, I am often to busy trying to keep the god-damn monster from falling down to take any damn pictures.
However I would like to submit to you the reader this picture of a manor house, while not my own that should serve to act as a guide. It gives you a good idea of what life is like if your are the Number One Mary Kay sales person in your region and your wife is a long haul truck driver.
Yes, dear friends, living the American Dream Indiana style!

I remain,


The Weekend in Review:

Thought for the Day:
The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.
John Berry, Flight of White Crows

On my fun filled weekend:

Upon my return from the nether regions of the great state that is Indiana (funny, there really is no easy way to get to most parts of this State). I found 23 phone messages waiting on me at the Salt Mine I call my office. Fridays and Mondays are always busy days in my line of work, let me be more exact; Hell always breaks lose at 4:00 in the afternoon on Fridays. Mondays it’s always busy time cleaning up from the weekend.

Well, after doing what I do, I hurried home to pick-up the Ever Sweet and very Hungry Mrs. John Q. Public for a dinner. We were joined by some old chums from my college days, a married couple that is more Catholic than the Pope, but oddly find both my loving wife and I quite entertaining. We enjoyed a reckless dinner conversation followed by a pitcher of beer at a neighborhood tap-house. All in all a pleasant evening, with only seven work calls and two calls from friends asking if we were going out, or where we were going to. My wife and I found ourselves in bed by 11:00.

It, was a pleasant day, which reminded me of those carefree days of youth playing in the bogs in coastal Wales. No sun, rain and in the 30s-40s. A good day to work on the boat which is what I did, progress, dear reader, I am making progress; I think at sometime in the future it might even float.

Late that afternoon I joined my wife at the Macedonian Roadhouse for an early supper, and then I was off to the Southland, as it was my turn to sit with Grandfather. One thing I must say for the old man, is that he is stubborn, I mean how many times do you need Last Rites? He floats in and out, but while I was there Sat. Night he was doing good and in a chatty mood, we spoke at length about how that ”god-damn little prick in the Whitehouse is going to dismantle everything FDR set-up for the little guy” and how his father had died during the flu epidemic of 1918. By morning he was unresponsive again. We are told this could go on for some time. Hell of a good man, my grandfather and a hell off a good family to have around. I was then off for a mad dash to the manor.

Upon my arrival at the manor I showered and changed in record time and off to an early Mass we went. (Murph, we saved a seat for you up front, I assume you must have been sick) You see my dear wife had an event to attend. After Mass, we were on the road to Detroit City for a Grammies party, dear reader…I should note that the last sleep I had gotten was on Friday. But, never the less I went along, thinking I could sleep in the car.

I don’t know about other married men, but there are few things in life more terrifying that trying to sleep in a car while your wife is driving. Funny, how a sudden slamming on of the breaks or a muttered “oh..fuck” can wake you from a sound slumber. If you add to the fact that my little flower is a native Michigander and they tend to have one speed (fast as hell) regardless of the weather.

However, the party was something else, Motown at its finest, I found the open bar and food buffet and proceeded to fit right in and my little flower was hanging with the shakers and movers in her world. Oddly, I didn’t have the problem sleeping on the way home, the sweet and kind Mrs. JQP said she was glad we had leather seats because I drooled and seemed to be enjoying a dream or two. My…the dreams of ghetto booty I had…

Today & This Week:
Today upon my return to the manor I found myself unable to return to sleep, so I did what I always do, I decided to go into work. However, before I went to work I took the hounds for a walk around the neighborhood.

Now you ever notice that as show melts it turns to ice? And to that add about a inch of water, it makes for a slippery surface? Well needless to say I took a bit of a spill, to the point that my knee was about 3 inches away from where it should be if its going to say…support my body weight. Like the Boy Scout I am I had my cell phone with me, because after my fall, I sent the hounds home with the message “Lassie, tell mom Timmy fell down the well” sadly they took that to mean, lets sit on the porch and wait to be let in.

I called my loving and eager wife, and said “Help me, I have fallen and I cant get up” She drove down the street to get me, and under my instruction was able to re-set my knee into a proper functional position, she was however less than pleased about being woken and called from her bed. Her statement to me was “I can’t let you out of my fucking sight can I? Well, at least it would have been an accident, that way I get my double indemnity”. My lil flower…

What a productive day has been so far, I have may leg wrapped up like a mummy, a call into my ortho-surgeon (we bowl together), gotten two grants done and am all prepped for a conference call this morning.

As for the rest of the week, many things are up in the air, my grandfather, my leg, etc… but I am to be on the road a great deal. And yes, to my fans in Indy, I plan to be there on Friday. However, if we can swing it, we will be heading down to Memphis for a visit and some of Gus’s Fried Chicken. I have been craving it for three weeks, (Gee, JQP how do I get to Gus's Fried Chicken in Memphis? Well, dear reader if you are comming off of I-240 & Poplar, take I-240 north to I-40 Little Rock. Right before crossing the bridge into Arkansas, take the Riverside Drive exit. At second light turn left. At next light turn right. This is Front Street. It's down a little bit on the left-hand side.).

On VD:
So, far a few people have asked me, “what are you doing for Mrs. John Q. Public today? (Valentines Day). My answer dear friends is; very little. As my Truthful and Passionate wife said to me this morning, I don’t need Hallmark to tell me that today’s the day to love my man and maybe give him a little action. However she did let it slip that over the weekend she had shaved her monkey (guess that wasn’t for me). Now marriage is a funny thing, more so if you’re us. We tend to be that couple that colors outside the lines in most things. We got involved in “one of those discussions” this morning while she was helping me wrap my knee up.

You see my little “China Doll” was my best friend before we ever slept together, hell, she was my roommate for a year before we even…, that being said, there are times in marriage, when you are not who you want to be, and your spouse is not who you want them to be. There are good times and there are bad, but if you can be best friends through it all at least you’ll always have someone to go grab a beer with and chase skirts. I love you my flower…

On a side note:
Since I want some wild, kinky, freaky, sex, I think I might give her a bath and wash her hair (she loves that) and then a nice long massage, followed by about two hours of begging.

Today’s Bill:
Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing,
And like enough thou know'st thy estimate:
The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing;
My bonds in thee are all determinate.
For how do I hold thee but by thy granting?
And for that riches where is my deserving?
The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting,
And so my patent back again is swerving.
Thyself thou gavest, thy own worth then not knowing,
Or me, to whom thou gavest it, else mistaking;
So thy great gift, upon misprision growing,
Comes home again, on better judgment making.
Thus have I had thee, as a dream doth flatter,
In sleep a king, but waking no such matter.

Your Poem for the Day:

Leave Me, O Love, Which Reachest But to Dust

Leave me, O Love, which reachest but to dust,
And thou my mind aspire to higher things:
Grow rich in that which never taketh rust:
Whatever fades, but fading pleasure brings.

Draw in thy beams, and humble all thy might,
To that sweet yoke, where lasting freedoms be:
Which breaks the clouds and opens forth the light,
That doth both shine and give us sight to see.

O take fast hold, let that light be thy guide,
In this small course which birth draws out to death,
And think how evil becometh him to slide,
Who seeketh heaven, and comes of heavenly breath.
Then farewell world, thy uttermost I see,
Eternal Love, maintain thy life in me.
Sir Philip Sidney

Quote for the Day:
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing" German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

I remain yours very truly:


My interview with the man known as "Dobbs":

Hey everyone !!!!!
I am famous!
I just got an interview published on Dobbs's blog!!!!
Check me out...
and there is a photo my loving wife took of me Wed. night posted as well!

I rock!


Friday, February 11, 2005

Pastor Bob on the Road for Lent:

Trust me, he has done a lot of in-depth research into the subject, you should stop by and hear what he has to say. (Ed. note: don't shake hands)

"...It is better to cast your seed into the belly of a whore, than drop it on to the ground" Pastor Bob (Tent Meeting Night, "Bonelick Greater Church of He who is God" Bonelick, WV, Sept. 3, 2004)

We are taking our whole boys youth group from church.


Ok, your Weekend Prep-Kit:

Ok, In answer to the 14 e-mails this week. Enjoy your weekend. Drink lots, Have wild Sex, perhaps get into a fight, and think of me….


Your Drinks for Week:

Goat's Milk
1 1/4 oz. Vodka
3/4 oz. Kahlua
1/2 tsp. Chocolate Syrup
Fill w/ Club Soda
Dash of Grenadine

Low Country Ice Tea
3/4 oz. Vodka
3/4 oz. Gin
3/4 oz. Triple Sec
3/4 oz. Rum
3/4 oz. Grand Marnier
Fill w/ Sweet & Sour and Cranberry add a Splash of & 7up
Garnish w/ Lemon Twist, serve in a Pint glass.

Your toast for the Weekend:
Health and a long life to you.
Land without rent to you.
A child every year to you.
And if you can't go to heaven,
May you at least die in Ireland.
(Just starting to get you in the sprit)

Your thought for the Weekend:
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of US (1809 - 1865)

The Story so Far:

Thought for the Day:
"From what we get, we can make a living; what we give,
however, makes a life." -- Arthur Ashe

The Week to Date:
Sorry, not a lot of up-lifting, fun posts today, life has somehow pushed its way into my existence. So, what you get today is a disjointed up-date on my progress so far. Otherwise, have a good weekend!

On Ash Wednesday:
Well, its been a high stress week around the campfire, dear children. Wednesday, I ended up going to two trainings, both very interesting. The first on the latest research into brain development in children and adolescence, and the second on the effects of media on children thought social normalization and its impact on society. Yes, dear ones…what a fun filled day. I was swimming with the big fish and it was a great chance to politic.

The cool part being that for once I didn’t have just about as much knowledge on the subject has the presenter, so I got to learn something. However, it was a l-o-n-g day, sitting on the instruments of torture that you can only find at convention centers. You know the kind, the ones they bring out for you to sit on when they know that training starts at 7am and ends at 4 with two five minute breaks and a half hour for lunch.

Then it was a mad dash across town to the only multi-lingual Mass. Yes, the Mass was said in Vietnamese, Spanish, French and English. Hey, I like my Catholicism with some flavor. Got some Ash and then of to the Parish Fish Fry, at which point the members of the Parish Council appointed the Beautiful and very Catholic for a day Mrs. John Q. Public in charge of the St. Paddy’s Day Dinner and Dance. So, it looks like we might be sticking around here for the Holiday.

Now the question on everyone’s lips was what did you JQP give up for Lent? The answer dear friend is as follows:

1) Rumplemintz
2) Self-abuse
3) Internet porn
4) Writing bad poetry
5) Having sex with more than three women at the same time.

Those are my top five, ask me around Easter and I will let you know which one it was. I kind of run the “Survivor” method of giving things up for Lent. The one the remains was what I gave up.

On Yesterday:
It always a good morning when your greated at the door of your office by a member of the law enforcement community. So, at 6:30am I was off to the races. Then at 8am there was a major problem with a grant, followed by something that took the wind out of my sails. I got a call from my little sister, it seems during the night my grandfather took a big turn for the worst. So, it was a hold my calls, mad dash south morning.

People often ask JQP why did you and your pretty wife move from the Sunny and Warm Heaven of the Beach? Well there are two answers to that question, one is of course cash and the second would be my grandparents. My grandmother passed away several years ago and since then my grandfather has been in a hurry to join her, hell if I was married to Mrs. JQP for 68 years I might miss her snoring too. So, it was an emotional day.

Now my family handles dieing in ways many would not be familiar with, unless you were of course Irish Catholic and Southern (yes, it is an odd combination). We don’t put people in nursing homes. Instead, everyone in the family takes turns, caring for the relative that is going to die, we try to keep them in their home but sometimes like in the case of my grandfather they have to move, in has case in with my mother and sister. My family is great if you’re dieing, not a better, more loving and giving group to be around. They make me proud. It’s nice to see them as the people they have become not who they once were, sadly it’s often only when something bad happens that it allows you the opportunity to see the strength and love of family.
So, all 48 of us were there plus about 76 children, in my family death is not something we shield children from nor is it a quite paasing...loud, we are very loud.

I will tell you more about my grandfather at some later point, needless to say he is probably the largest positive influence I have had in my life. A man from a time when "men were men", but who showed me the value in looking out for the little guy and those who couldn’t stand up for themselves, I think living through the depression and a war showed him a lot, things he was willing to teach the young JQP, it a nut shell, a hell of a good man, nuf’ said.

On Today:
Well, I am back to work, I am on the road today doing a profession training over by South-Cent. Illinois. So it’s a lot of road time today, but there was no way I wanted to cancel a training for 250 people. I am however running on about 45 mins. of sleep. So, its going to be a very long, long day. This weekend I imagine will be spent south. The only perk is that when I am down there I get to cook for everyone and better yet, I get to eat…and these folks know down-home cooking.

Oh, and lest I forget, big time props go out to Mrs. JQP (who my family adores) who canceled a meeting Toby Keith’s people to come on down to the Southland with me, Hell, of a good woman, I got there.

Your Bill for the Day:

As an unperfect actor on the stage
Who with his fear is put besides his part,
Or some fierce thing replete with too much rage,
Whose strength's abundance weakens his own heart.
So I, for fear of trust, forget to say
The perfect ceremony of love's rite,
And in mine own love's strength seem to decay,
O'ercharged with burden of mine own love's might.
O, let my books be then the eloquence
And dumb presagers of my speaking breast,
Who plead for love and look for recompense
More than that tongue that more hath more express'd.
O, learn to read what silent love hath writ:
To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit.

Quote of the Day:
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. Jane Howard, "Families"

I remain, abet very tired;


Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Old-Posts for Ash Wed.

Since I am going to be hung-over and in a training all day with the judges followed by being the best catholic I can be for the day, here is a re-post. I still dont know what I am going to give up for Lent, but I do know it will suck...

Posted for the Frist time on Wednesday, October 13, 2004

As requested on Oct. 13, 2004

On Self-Examination:
No, I am not talking about checking for breast cancer or lumps on my testies. A comment that was made about my recent postings by an avid fan, who agrees with my every view (He will just crap when he reads that), the subject of my increased use of foul language was addressed, and after some thought on the matter, I have decided to take his words under advisement.

Perhaps it is easier to just cuss about the many things that cross my path each day, rather than search for the right combination of words.As a result, for the next seven days, starting at 12:00am Oct. 13, I will not use any cuss-words, nope on foul language.

Truth be know, I didn’t realize how many parents out there print this off and read it to their children before bed. I feel it is my duty to those families to further explore the English language in an effort to express my well reasoned views, on many of the things that effect us as citizens of this global village (and after all, isn’t that what we all are, a global village, and doesn’t it take a village to raise a child, and a republican to cut taxes to the rich, thus maintaining the un-equal playing field we all know and love, between the haves and the have nots?).

…and yes, dear reader, I know there is a presidential debate tonight, I didn’t say this was going to be easy.

On Religion:
What’s more, I will make an honest effort to go to Mass this Sunday. Mass yes, Confession no, (yes, I am one of those smorgasbord Catholics, picking and choosing). That and the last time I went it took four hours and involved foot-rubs and a lot of hugging. I miss the days when we were afraid of our priests, but for very different reasons.On what am I reading:Well, I am finished with the Crimean War history.

So, I have started a book on Russia from 1900 to 1917, its done by Lincoln, who I have not read since the cold war. Now that communism is mostly dead, I thought it was an unfashionable enough undertaking, it was either that or Mao (hey they were in the book a buck bin, and I am tight). And for bathroom reading I am still on Bill Clinton’s auto-biography, (why do ex-presidents feel compelled to write, dry, dry, dry). I am however still actively engaged in my hobby of the translation of comic books (DC Comics mostly) into Laotian.

On what I am listening to:
Well, here is a odd twist, my most recent selections in a heavy play rotation include: Warren Zevon’s works from the 70’s, Frank Zappa’s works from the 60’s (exp: Hot Rats, you got to love the Capt. Beefheart vocals on “Willie the Pimp”), John Coletrain (Blue Notes), and a Gregorian Chant CD, someone gave me.

Don’t worry, Canned Heat, is never far from my mind.However, at the seedy bars and roadhouses that I frequent (where the low-people are). I still enjoy hearing anything from the song books of the following: AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd (Ronny was a poet-sage), Johnny Cash (yes, like many of you, I still morn) and Dean Martin.

I trust I have addressed the comments that were made to myself both in person (and if you are reading this, yes, it did leave a bruise) and via electronic mail. Many thanks to you my loyal fans, Oh! and congrats to the Sugar-Plum-Fairy on the new piercing, it showed up nicely in the photo you sent!

And todays Quote:
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.Sir Winston ChurchillBritish politician (1874 - 1965)

Your Poet-Sage of the Week:

I'm sleeping
And right in the middle of a good dream
like all at once I wake up
From something that keeps knocking at my brain

Before I go insane
I hold my pillow to my head
And spring up in my bed
Screaming out the words I dread:
"I think I love you!"
(I think I love you)

This morning, I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with
And so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself
And never talk about it
And didn't I go and shout it
When you walked into my room.
"I think I love you!"
(I think I love you)

I think I love you
So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for
I think I love you
Isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I've never felt this way

Believe me
You really don't have to worry
I only want to make you happy
And if you say,
hey, go away, I will
But I think better still
I ought to stay around and love you
Do you think I have a case?
Let me ask you to your face:
Do you think you love me?
I think I love you!

The song was a req. from the kind and loving Mrs. JQP and the pic from S-S who thinks my taste in photos is "nasty".... well it may be, but then again I am a man of vision.


Dang Guys Look Easy Money!

I just got this in my E-Mail!!!! and wanted to take a bit of time from Dobbs's interview to post this so all of you can see my good luck!


Dear friend Public,

Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.
With due honour and respect am sorry for embarasement of this nature to you and please consider my indigination and see if truely you can help me to this proposal in urgency call ofmine.

With whole confidence and belief, my thought saw your name as a reliable person to co-operate in joint venture partnership.

I am Tora Aho, from Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire (Ivory Coast) the son of late Dr. Benson Boga Aho, who died recently during the military coup.Before he was killed ,he has a sum of $16,000.000.00 (Sixteen Million US Dollars)deposited in one of the private safe Finance Security Company here in Togo W.Africa and handed over the Certificate of deposit to me.
He used my name as his only child as the next-of-kin during the time of deposit. He made me to understand that the Security Firm did not know the content of the box because he deposited it as family valuables for Security reasonse.

I am therefore contacting you for an assistant so that the consignment would be claimed from the Security and Finance Company by assisting us to pay for the demurrages charges that has accumulated due to the duration of the consignment before arranging a Diplomatic Immunity for the money to be shipped or transported to your nominated environment where we canhave a meeting together.

NOTE/ That the company did not know the exact content of the box for Security reason, it was rather labelled asfamily valuables. I will also need your assistance for investment of the money in your country. My mother & I had agreed to compensate you with 20% from the total Sum.
Time is not on my side, I will appreciate if you can get in touch with me as soon as possible so that I can give you more information about my proposals.

you should be assured that there is nothing to worry about, everything will be done by our family Attorney provided you can give me guarantee that the box will be well secured and that you will not take advantage of my situation.

I will like to stop here.

Tora Aho.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Gee, JQP hows your day going?

Ya, know just when you think you got the bear by the balls....

Back to court today, (always nice when the cops stop by to tell you that at 7am) then I have a report due by 3:00, plus Indy called and the want me to come down this week and sit in on a meeting...

Folks there is only one of me...
plus I am in a training with some judges in the AM on Wed. so I am sure to be looking a feeling my best, after a night of "Fat-Tue" party'en! Oh, that of course means an early Mass....

I keep telling myself its all for Jesus and the good old US of A.....

back to work..and you rest easy, I am on duty:

JQP esq.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Normal times for a Man with a Mission:

Thought for the Day:
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.
Aristotle, Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist (384 BC - 322 BC)

(Kind of a boring report for this weekend, but even JQP needs to slow down some times. I how ever did get one hell of a good SC-Redneck story from “Eric-the-Viking”, that I want to post later in the week)

On the Weekend:
Friday: This weekend was oddly relaxing, I did manage to go Friday to see my grandfather (who is in failing health), tend to family graves, go out to eat (no place new, we went to the Macedonian Joint, and ate Greek food, the owner had called and let us know he had a bag of egg shells for our friends “Big K. the Drummer-Man” and the “Lady Bird”, it’s a long story but she feeds the shells to her birds or something, and if we didn’t stop-by he would call every night at about 10pm to remind us that he had those shells), with the delightful and entertaining Mrs. John Q. Public and then off to home, I believe we were in bed by 12:00.

Saturday: I spent the day working on the house (yes, the upstairs bath) and then went into work for a bit to get ahead of the curve around noonish I went to Lowes and off to home; it got up to 50 degrees here, so that meant opening all the windows to get some fresh air in. My loving wife returned from her respite in the “Woman’s Hut” early, and there must have been something in the water over there, because she approached me with the expectations of performance that I have not been able to achieve since my 19th birthday, needless to say an itch got scratched.

Later in the day, after an unfruitful nap, we were off to a birthday party for a 6 year-old boy. His parents are dear friends of mine, and went through a bitter and nasty divorce, but he and his sister seem to be weathering the storm well. I was the first time I had really been around his mother and her family since the divorce about a year and a half ago. Which had been hard, because we (being the “Aunt and Uncle” to these kids) are very attached to them.

It was good to spend time with them, and her family wasn’t has odd, as they have been in the past, which in and of itself was somewhat odd. We got out of there and went to grocery shopping, and as you know I love a deal and am not afraid to go to seven places to find it, so that is what we did. We started out at 8pm and went home to drop of the first load (I then watched a little Boxing on Showtime, I am a big Boxing fan) then back out shopping for load two, returning home around 12:30, after dropping about 300.00, but due to my extreme bargain-shopping we saved just about that same amount. See what happens when you cut those damn coupons out.

Sunday: We skipped Mass, yet again. I tend to slow down on the church stuff after the holidays and jump back in around Lent (which as you know is my favorite holy day, Mia Culpa, Mia Culpa). I woke at 5am and made my chili with a twist. A few years ago I jumped on the band wagon of making chili with beer, which is good chili, but this year I used hard cider instead. And damn…. Brothers and Sisters it turned out great. While that was cooking, our neighborhood dog whisperer stopped by at the request of the Concerned and Animal Loving Mrs. JQP to assess one of the hounds, who she is convinced as gone around the bend (as in nuts).

Now, if you ask me, the whole concept of a dog whisperer is a bit around the bend, but its true, that is what he does, that and smoke lots of pot, which of course he and my loving wife did while he discussed the results of his “conversation”.

It seems in his professional opinion our dog lost something in a past life and she is looking for it. Gee, great, glad that was such an easy fucking fix, so off to the pet store with the hound my “Little Flower” went, in hopes that the damn dog would find what it was she needed. Funny, the hound needed everything; guess she had lost a lot in her “past-life”, to the tune of a little over 100 bucks.

Tanner the Miami Indian and Vietnam Vet, then stopped by to give us a large trash bag full of bread from a local trendy bakery, he had heard about my not being able to bake bread due to my broken fingers, and said “Hell, buddy, can you believe they were going to throw this out? So, I traded him some chili and after he left I fed it to the birds (its still Crow time around the 'hood).

About ten minutes after that, “Gerry the Artist” who lives down the block came over for a reason I am still unclear about and preceded to tell me that....Tanner knows “people” and that he (Tanner) is on his second interview with Halliburton. “Gerry the Artist”, then asked me for my famous Bloody Mary recipe (something, I never give out), it seems the local AA folks were having a dry Super Bowl party and he wanted to bring something, so I spent an hour mixing him some up, while he chained smoked and watched the Home Shopping Network in my den. I then sent him on his way with about three gallons of mix and a healthy serving of chili.

Later the day I made some of my G-Fathers hot-sauce (not a lot of heat, but a lot of flavor, it tastes more Cuban than anything, which makes sense since he and the family lived there for about 9 years, and yes, my family has a long history of being expatriates and ugly Americans), and some more Secret Cougar Sausage Slaw, since I have had repeated requests for both.

After dropping off the hound and its 100 bucks worth of things it had lost in a previous life, my Self-Directed and Very Assertive wife, took the remaining money from my wallet and announced she was off to get her nails and toes done, god-damn-it and there wasn’t anything I could do about it, so I gave her an extra 20.00 I had hidden (in the family Bible, she never looks there, she says the pages burn her fingers) and told her to buy something nice for herself at the Dollar Store while she was out.

I then spent the rest of the late afternoon watching pre-game shows and calling friends both far and wide (Sunday is my call people day, NC, CS, Fla. GA, MN, Mass. ND, TN, CA, HI, NZ, UK, the former East Germany and Indiana) and turning down invitations to Super Bowl parties.

I don’t know about you but the Super Bowl is an intensely personal thing to me which I find is best viewed, while wearing a pair of boxers and an old comfortable tee-shirt, with a belly full of good chili at my house from my couch.

Upon her return (and yes, I did tell her how pretty her nails & toes were, I am a lot of things, but fool is not one of them). I got a call from the Fla. gig, (yes, on a Sunday, about 10 mins. before the game started), they went with a local, which I had thought they might, no big-thing, I wasn’t all that hip to the idea anyway, but it was cool that it got down to me and this other person out of about 78, so there is a good chance they will keep me in mind. We then ate and got online with her bookie and watched the game. So, far we are up by about 75.00 bucks. Could have been better, could have been worst.

On Short-Term Plans:
Plans for the day, no court, yeah! No teaching, yeah! Just grant writing. One of my interns starts Tue. AM, so I have to get her all set up, then the rest of the week I am training or on the road doing my thing. Tuesday night is the traditional Fat Tuesday blow-out night, so I am sure Wednesday will suck b-a-d. That and I am in a training all day Wednesday with a bunch of legal people all f’ing day, joy, joy…

On Food:
Tonight steaks, I got some nice Porterhouses' and to that I will add fresh mushrooms and leek in a butter-wine sauce, Sour Cream Twice Baked Mashed Potatoes, with Blue Berry Cheese Cake. Tomorrow night steaks, 16oz. T-Bones, asparagus, and a Portuguese noodle dish I have wanted to try. Wednesday, a fish fry at one of the local Parishes. We have to go get that Good-Catholic card punched…

Your Bill for the Day:
I grant thou wert not married to my Muse
And therefore mayst without attaint o'erlook
The dedicated words which writers use
Of their fair subject, blessing every book
Thou art as fair in knowledge as in hue,
Finding thy worth a limit past my praise,
And therefore art enforced to seek anew
Some fresher stamp of the time-bettering days
And do so, love; yet when they have devised
What strained touches rhetoric can lend,
Thou truly fair wert truly sympathized
In true plain words by thy true-telling friend;
And their gross painting might be better used
Where cheeks need blood; in thee it is abused.

Quote for the Day:
The best [man] is like water.
Water is good; it benefits all things and does not compete with them.
It dwells in [lowly] places that all disdain.
This is why it is so near to Tao.
Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

I remain, evermore;

JQP (just a mortal man today)