I like the word Toils:

Thought for the Day:
It is not the rich man you should properly call happy, but him who knows how to use with wisdom the blessings of the gods, to endure hard poverty, and who fears dishonor worse than death, and is not afraid to die for cherished friends or fatherland.
Horace, Odes


(On behalf of the cast of Dukes of Hazard, I would like to wish you a wonderful fun filled weekend of having sex with your cousins and jumping cars.)

Now Everyone Join Hands:
I had an administrative team building meeting. Yes, it was right up there with having someone rub ground glass into my eye sockets.

The big event was when we formed a circle and tossed a Nurf balls at each other, I was told I didn’t play nice, since I blooded the nose of a old lady who works here (shes just a big pussy, you know like, damn, shake it off).

Pastor Bob, in his ass kissing way after the event said “What if they were eggs and not Nurf balls?” and then followed up with “or what if they were children?”. My suggestion was that I would have hard-boiled their little asses (no mess and easy clean-up, see I am a thinker). I was told that I am not an effective team player.

I would how many of them would survive in combat.

A man for our times:
Man, I am in the wrong line of work. I should be one of those snake-oil salesmen who talk companies into hiring them to “help team flow through observed facilitation and modeled interaction”. See, I can talk a line of bull shit just like the rest of them. Just think of it. JQP as a motivational speaker.

This Weekend:
I have nothing going on, other than helping a friend Saturday, who is running for sheriff in our kindly burg. It always pays to get in good with Johnny Law, or in this case Jenny Law. How more wholesome is that, working in the American political process to enact change for the betterment of us all. I am sure I will find something to get myself into trouble with, to help fill the other hours of my well earned respite from my labors.



Your Drinks for the Weekend, retreads:

The Sky-Captain Special
Pour liquor into mixing glass Stir & Stain into an Up's Glass
Ingredients:
1/2 oz. Southern Comfort
1/2 oz. Amaretto
1/2 oz. Midori
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Splash of 7-up
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with Orange Wedge

The Nolff Shark Fucker
Pour liquor into mixing glass Stir & Stain into an Up's Glass
Ingredients:
3/4 oz. Malibu Rum
3/4 oz. Midori
1 oz. Pineapple Juice
After these ingredients are in the up's glass
Pour 1/2 oz. Blackberry Brandy (float to Bottom)
Pour a float of Jagermeister on top

Today’s Bill:

SONNET 72
O, lest the world should task you to recite
What merit lived in me, that you should love
After my death, dear love, forget me quite,
For you in me can nothing worthy prove;
Unless you would devise some virtuous lie,
To do more for me than mine own desert,
And hang more praise upon deceased I
Than niggard truth would willingly impart:
O, lest your true love may seem false in this,
That you for love speak well of me untrue,
My name be buried where my body is,
And live no more to shame nor me nor you.
For I am shamed by that which I bring forth,
And so should you, to love things nothing worth.

Quote of the Day:
Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.
Malcolm X, Malcolm X Speaks, 1965

I remain, like the bitter tears in the eyes of you self-esteem:

JQP

Fuck Her and Other News:

Let me start off in saying, that no-shit, Sallie Mae is one of the most ruthless, cut-throat organizations in this country. When the revolution starts, I hope they are some of the first ones against the wall.

Sallie Mae’s long reach
Anyone who has treaded the waters of the student loan pool is familiar with Sallie Mae, the lending giant. What they might not know is how powerful the lender has become and how it has used its influence to chip away at consumer protections. Before its grip on student borrowing becomes any more pervasive, Congress should consider placing Sallie Mae in check.

“Sallie Mae is on the march toward monopoly here,” Barmak Nassirian of the American Association of Collegiate Registrars and Admissions Officers told the Chronicle of Higher Education, “It’s important to understand that we are witnessing the inevitable outcome of legislative changes made years ago.”

Congress created the Student Loan Marketing Association (Sallie Mae, for short) in 1972 out of fear that banks would not have the resources to meet the demand for college loans. The government-chartered corporation was to use U.S. Treasury funds to buy government-backed loans from banks, which would provide the banks with the money to make more loans.

Backed by the government, Sallie Mae was able to lower the default risk on loans. The corporation prospered, with assets multiplying during the early 1980s and ’90s. Its top officers were earning seven-figure salaries and began drawing criticism that they were prospering at the expense of students and taxpayers. The Clinton administration pushed for direct student lending, and in 1996 Congress voted to privatize Sallie Mae – now a booming enterprise thanks to its boost from government.

As a private, for-profit company, Sallie Mae – now SLM Corp. – has adopted an aggressive and politically savvy approach to gaining market advantage. Its stock has risen 1,900 percent since 1995, and Fortune magazine has dubbed it a Wall Street “superstar.” The company holds more than $100 billion in student debt, and $1.4 million in campaign contributions to congressional candidates in the 2004 election cycle has secured legislation that ensures its favored-lender status.

The success has come at great expense to college students and their families. Congress passed laws to limit debt consolidation to one loan at a time, with the original lender, and it allowed stiff penalties and fees on delinquent debt. Students who fall behind are now subject to wage garnishees, income tax and Social Security seizure and loss of professional certifications.

In addition, Sallie Mae has aggressively targeted its competitors for takeover. Its newest targets are the state-based loan agencies. In Illinois, critics of Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s proposal to sell the state’s student-loan agency to Sallie Mae charge that the for-profit company would not provide the same benefits and services to student borrowers. That’s precisely what happened when Sallie Mae bought Ohio’s Student Loan Funding Resources, where interest rate deductions were limited to borrowers who made at least 33 on-time payments.

It’s past time for Congress to take another look at what it has created. The earning potential of college graduates is seriously compromised by policies that allow lenders to prosper at the expense of student borrowers.


Daniels says they can wait to change clocks

INDIANAPOLIS – Backlash over losing an hour of sales because of Indiana’s move to daylight-saving time prompted Gov. Mitch Daniels on Thursday to announce that the state will not force bars, restaurants and taverns to change their clocks until after closing. Last week the Indiana Alcohol and Tobacco Commission put a notice on its Web site reminding bars that at 2 a.m. Sunday they were to advance their clocks one hour – to the regular closing time of 3 a.m. – and immediately cease alcoholic beverage sales.

That would mean one hour of lost sales. Officials previously argued that the bars would regain the hour in the fall. But days of negative publicity – especially in Indianapolis where bar owners were facing stout losses thanks to an exceptionally busy Final Four weekend – prompted the about-face. ESPN Radio talk-show host Dan Patrick even mentioned it on air Thursday.
Daniels said alcohol establishments can change their clocks an hour after the official start of daylight-saving time instead.

It’s another dry No-Love-Thursday:

Thought for the Day:
The overman...Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment.
Friedrich Nietzsche


(It’s once again; make your own caption day.)

NLT:
When a was weak of sprit Tuesday night, I was heartened to hear that in the back room of my favorite bar, they have a calendar and are marking off the days until my return. It seems that the attendance of the venerable drinking club and mutual aid society known as No-Love-Thursday has dropped off to the point of being ineffectual ie: very few people are being offended.

M. Chamberlain told me that my caustic wit has been what held this merry group of the disingenuous and disenfranchised together. Take heart dear reader, soon like a Phoenix from the ashes both I and this historic club will rise again and take its rightful place at the bar.

Last Night:
I had a great time hanging out with my union brothers and sisters last night. It was a honor to be the key note speaker and just damn fun. I love Bolsheviks. I got home and developed a fever (which is something common for me when the seasons change). I took the last of my meds the VA gave me, which means I will have to spend a whole afternoon at that beacon of health care in order to get a refill.

Today:
My flower is once again promoting her current boy-band sensation with a live performance at one of northeast Indiana’s Nat’ Guard Amory’s. So, I am flying solo, sadly without the crutch of demon rum to fall back on, so it is doubtful that I will get myself into any trouble, well, no more than is my custom. I didn’t shave and wore jeans to work today, already three people have said something about it, perhaps I should of worn a shirt, but I need the freedom, man...

Today’s Bill:
"All the infections that the sun sucks up
From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make him
By inch-meal a disease!"
From The Tempest (II, ii, 1-3)

Quote of the Day:
The peril of every fine faculty is the delight of playing with it for pride. Talent is commonly developed at the expense of character, and the greater it grows, the more is the mischief. Talent is mistaken for genius, a dogma or system for truth, ambition for greatest, ingenuity for poetry, sensuality for art.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I remain, exhibiting the feverous sensuality of a rabid squirrel:

JQP esq.

Hang down your head:

Thought for the Day:
One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar. Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"


(I love traveling to exotic lands, like Ohio)

The shame of it all:
I failed. Yes, failed. I went out and got myself drunk last night. I look at it as the actions of a desperate man. My second choice was running away and joining the merchant marine or perhaps becoming a carnie. This however doesn’t mean I am off the wagon. I am still going to be the Lent observant JQP you all know and love.

I would like to give thanks to my flower for showing up and driving me home, the Bitter Redheaded Lady and her husband the follower of Kabala for subsidizing the event, and M. Chamberlain Newspaper Man, for the lively conversation esp. the stats on work place violence.

Things of Note this morning:

I am the key note speaker at a Union meeting, I am really looking forward to that.

I have a headache; it has Excedrin written all over it.

I can’t tie my tie today.

I zipped my bag up in my pants yesterday. It hurt, a lot.

The hounds fart a lot.

My loving a petite wife, blames her farts on the dogs.

I don’t fart.

I got hit on yesterday by a girl from Bulgaria.

My kind and forgiving bride is territorial, to the point of pissing on my shoes.

The girl who hit on me did not have hairy arm pits, so I blew her off.

My wife doesn’t have hairy arm pits; I have learned to over look that.

John B. is a puss for quitting his blog.

Everyone moved up a spot in my daily read, due to that fact.

I upset my flower this morning by blaring classic Tom Petty at 4:00AM.

My loves idea of kinky sex games is to dress like a Mexican wrestler (complete with mask) and kick my ass.

I am going skydiving next weekend, for free, as long as I help a friend teach a class.

The only thing worse than my typing is my spelling.

If it wasn’t for spell checker, I would be working at the County Co-Op Hog-Market, just like my high school guidance counselor said.

I call my employees by their last names only, when, I can remember their names. I am tender like that.

I bought a seersucker suit online, I am if nothing else dapper.

It will go well with my white bucks.

M. Chamberlain wears his with a bow tie and sling back heals.

I am going to join the Knights of Columbus; I want the sword, cape and funny hat.

Masons eat babies.

Today’s Bill:

SONNET 28
How can I then return in happy plight,
That am debarr'd the benefit of rest?
When day's oppression is not eased by night,
But day by night, and night by day, oppress'd?
And each, though enemies to either's reign,
Do in consent shake hands to torture me;
The one by toil, the other to complain
How far I toil, still farther off from thee.
I tell the day, to please them thou art bright
And dost him grace when clouds do blot the heaven:
So flatter I the swart-complexion'd night,
When sparkling stars twire not thou gild'st the even.
But day doth daily draw my sorrows longer
And night doth nightly make grief's strength seem stronger

Quote of the Day:
In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. Mark Twain

I remain, stomping on the butterfly that is your soul:

JQP esq.

Another Day in the Salt Mines of my Soul:

Thought for the Day:
Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.
Greg Evans


(Up against a wall with my comrades)

Trouble right here in River City:
After a full day of working to save humanity as we know it, I found myself summoned to the big-bosses office for a meeting. It was one of those “Make sure JQP is on board” and “this is the vision”, “your with us or against us” meetings. I don’t know why they call these meetings and not ambushes.

So, it’s cool down time for old JQP, either that or up-date the old resume (as if it has ever been out of date, the first rule of successful employment is always keep looking for successful employment). I can be just as good a soldier as anyone else, doesn’t mean I have to like the mission. Happy day, add to that that I am still pissing blood from my kayaking adventure and popping pills like Betty Ford in her prime and you get a feel for my day so far. I however find that I am getting in touch with my inner-Bolshevik.

This afternoon I am teaching classes to two groups; one of fundamentalist snake handlers and the other seeing eye dog trainers, so it should be if nothing else an interesting day.

Your Hairy Pits Pic for the Week:


Today’s Bill:
"I follow him to serve my turn upon him."
--From Othello (I, i, 42)

Quote of the Day:
Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
Robert Anton Wilson

I remain, a quiet and gentle soul:

JQP

Like Ivory Soap, I am so pure I float:

Thought for the Day:
The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence.
Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness, 1964


(I would like to dedicate today to my new role model, an ideal of manhood for a post apocalyptic world, “yeah bitch I am coming to get ya…you cant hide from the Dogg”)

The Weekend in Review:
I taught all day Saturday. Coming home late in the afternoon to a wonderful meal of diet foods (my loving wife went on a diet for Lent, which makes me pretty much on a diet to). After which it was a chic-flick marathon.

Why, would I put up with such behavior you ask? It’s easy I got laid, not once but numerous times, hell we almost missed early Mass on Sunday. See, that’s, how you win by being one step ahead of them. Plus, I read a book on the dirty laundry of the JFK administration; damn…him and Bill Clinton are my favorite two presidents.



OnTest Driving a New Hobby:
Sunday my pettie little flower and I went kayaking. To cold you ask? Tell it to an Eskimo. Since this fare city sits at the convergence of 3 rivers and since I am not drinking (still) I had to find something for shits and giggles.

A few things that I learned:

A two person kayak is a recipe for a divorce. (If you find yourself in one trade out ASAP)

Our rivers are gross as fuck.

If you sink borrowed kayak, no amount of “dude, your not going to believe this” works.

While shooting a dam might sound like a fun idea but it’s always best to check for log jams at the bottom first.

You don’t ever want to hear “dude, your bleeding really bad” or “Man, is the a turd on your life-jacket?”

It’s really hard to pull a sunken kayak out of the water.

The ER Dept. at our local welfare hospital knows me by first name.

I am still right in saying helmets are for pussy’s.

It is easier to explain actions with the line “I was drunk” sadly, I could not in good faith say that.

I find “I was trying to save that kitten” works better esp. among women.

I am sure I swallowed enough raw sewage and pesticides to kill me in 18 months.

Blood stains in truck upholstery are hard to get out but they do add that special touch.

Chicks dig scars.

The cool thing is that everyone said they have never seen anything like that before. I like to think of myself as the BASE jumper of kayaks. Next week I might just go with my first idea, sticking up local convenience stores but, then again my Hindi is not that good. I might end up pissing them off by asking for a steak or something.

All, in all I had a good time and isn’t that what’s really important? In case you’re wondering, my wife is really proud. Plus, I have now met my deductible for the year!



On Today:
I am taking my antibiotics and pain pills and trying not to breath. Plus I have both a rash and a headache. I have a lunch appointment at a Korean joint down by the interstate, (perhaps after lunch I might get my nails done with a happy finsh) after which I am doing a training for members of the law enforcement community in a distant burg.

I hope they can deal with Kim Chee breath, ‘cause I love me some Kim Chee, it goes well with puppy.

Your Bill for the Day:
"Let every eye negotiate for itself
And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch
Against whose charms faith melteth in blood."
--From Much Ado About Nothing (II, i, 178-180)

Quote of the Day:
With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plea; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost.
William Lloyd Garrison

I remain, circumspect but yet un-circumcised:

JQP esq.

Puppy Dogs & Sunflowers:

It’s make your own caption day:


Today:
I am busy selling Bibles and children’s life insurance in the intercity. Saturday; I am teaching at the local Diesel Mechanics and Chiropractic College of Fine Arts. Other than that nothing cool going down, such is the life of a Lent-sober JQP.

I wish you well this weekend. If you get drunk, please think of me, perhaps something along the lines of “What would JQP do in a situation like this?” Then do it and send me the details, what are you, pussy? Why should Monday morning shame & pain be only my domain?

I remain, the stained mattress of your soul:

JQP

It’s a No-Love-Thursday:

Thought for the Day:
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.
Japanese Proverb


(I would like to dedicate today to one of the greatest TV stars of my generation, a man with a certain devil may can, live life to its fullest attitude, whether blowing-up evil robots or trying to bed underage refugees, Starbuck, truly a man for all seasons.)

Once again:
This day will pass with no drunken barbs traded by yours truly. I however will endeavor to do so sober, wherever I find myself in the course of my servitude. To you my fellow members of this most illustrious of drinking clubs I wish you God-Speed and let bitterness abound this day, soulfully you are each missed.

Last night:
I stayed at work and rolled out a total of 7 grants. Today my goal is 7 more, a few 12 hour days are in order, since this great state as seen if fit to eliminate a few of my vital funding streams in an effort to realign priorities.

Later tonight I am driving up to the north end of the state to do a training for a dedicated group of professionals. Trust me, they will leave well informed and highly skilled. Last night my flower worked late, tonight I work late, tomorrow she works late and Saturday I am teaching. Times like this I am glad we don’t have children. Such is the busy life of the working poor.

I seem to be in a somewhat better mood; however rest assured that within the first hour of the day, something will happen that will sour the sprit. Such is the life of a man in the public eye.

Your Political Statement for the Week:

(See why I support the Peace Movement? Acts like this help Middle-America identify with us in the movement, they see that we are "Really Serous" about stopping the war; I am with these two hotties, fuck Bush! FREE LEONARD PELTIER !!!!! Vote Zappa! ...but then again I have a thing for angry women with hairy pits.)



Your Drinks for the Week (A Repeat from the Archives)

The Bush Ranger:
Drink Ingredients:
2 oz. Light Rum
1 Lemon Twist
1 dash Bitters
1/2 oz. Dubonnet Rouge

Instruction:
In a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine the rum, Dubonnet, and bitters. Stir well. Strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with the lemon twist.

Horny Girl:
Drink Ingredients:
1 Part Peppermint Schnapps
1 Part Kahlua

Instruction:
Add the coffee liqueur first since it is heavier than the schnapps. Slowly add the peppermint schnapps. I like to serve them in a water glass.

Today’s Bill:
SONNET 50
How heavy do I journey on the way,
When what I seek, my weary travel's end,
Doth teach that ease and that repose to say
'Thus far the miles are measured from thy friend!'
The beast that bears me, tired with my woe,
Plods dully on, to bear that weight in me,
As if by some instinct the wretch did know
His rider loved not speed, being made from thee:
The bloody spur cannot provoke him on
That sometimes anger thrusts into his hide;
Which heavily he answers with a groan,
More sharp to me than spurring to his side;
For that same groan doth put this in my mind;
My grief lies onward and my joy behind.

Quote of the Day:
There's the country of America, which you have to defend, but there's also the idea of America. America is more than just a country, it's an idea. An idea that's supposed to be contagious. Bono

I remain, the most interesting person at the faculty cocktail party:

JQP esq.

This piss's me off

Nolff, broke this to me before anyone one from the beach. Burroughs & Chapin own everything from NC to G-town and they are e-v-i-l. Fuckers...my childhood... shit thats the first place I ever turned tricks to buy airplane glue for huffing...have they no idea of the history....



Landmark Myrtle Beach Pavilion To Close
POSTED: 3:55 pm EST March 10, 2006

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. -- City leaders, businesses owners and residents are anxious about what the closure of Myrtle Beach's most popular landmark will mean for the future of downtown.

The Myrtle Beach Pavilion Amusement Park will close in September, the facility's owner Burroughs & Chapin said Thursday, meaning the season set to begin in a week will be its last.

"The Pavilion has been one of the central landmarks of Myrtle Beach tourism for more than 50 years," said company president Doug Wendel. "But increasingly, the Pavilion has come to symbolize the past of Myrtle Beach, what Myrtle Beach used to be."

The park's 49 rides, teen nightclub and arcade have been a key stop for summer tourists to the Grand Strand since it opened in 1948.

But shareholders have pressured the company to make a change, because the park has not been profitable in recent years, Wendel said. About 850,000 people visited the park last year.

Redevelopment of the site likely will include a mix of shops, homes and tourist attractions, company officials have said, though they could not say whether the redevelopment will be complete by summer 2007.

"We all share the same heart break," said Jack Thompson, a Myrtle Beach photographer who worked at the park in 1951. "You cannot stop progress, but it is a sad commentary to see the Myrtle Beach Pavilion Amusement Park bow to the wrecking ball after what it has meant to the development of Myrtle Beach."

Some city leaders were miffed they only learned about the company's plans Thursday morning, along with the company's 38 full-time employees. Wendel said the company's board voted two weeks ago to close the park.

"It's sad. Everybody's used to seeing things change, but this is such a drastic change," said City Councilwoman Susan Grissom Means.

Still, City Planning Director Jack Walker said closing the Pavilion is best for downtown.

"Over the years it has created somewhat of a negative feeling in the winter because of the lack of activity, and it discourages businesses from locating next to it," he said. "We're looking forward to the future of the site being 12 months of the year, but it needs to be a market that can support it."

The site's future had been in flux for several years.

Burroughs & Chapin had said in 1997 that it planned to move the Pavilion to one of its newer developments, Broadway at the Beach. At that time, the Myrtle Beach Downtown Redevelopment Group pleaded with the company to leave the park in place. But four years later, the redevelopment group was asking the company to move the park.

In January 2005, California developer Barry Landreth quit working on a plan to redevelop the park into a year-round attraction after questions were raised about his firm's financial stability.

Some surrounding businesses were happy to have questions about the future of the park finally put to rest.

"I've been ready to move forward for six or seven years now," said Chris Walker, owner of several small businesses near the Pavilion. "They have done nothing to step up and make it profitable. To not have it at all is not that big of a leap. They might as well close it."

The news was difficult for some regulars of the park to take. Harriet Hurt of Columbia said she met her husband on the Pavilion's dance floor.

"It won't look like Myrtle Beach," she said. "It just won't have any local character, flavor. I guess I'll still have the memories and old photos."

Coastal Blues:

(I am homesick and have spring fever)

vs.


(Need I really need to say more?)

JQP

Happy First Day of Spring:

Thought for the Day:
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
Menchin


(Just a little clue as to how my week is shaping up.)

From Friday till Now:
Some much awaited up dates; well folks I would tell you more abut my St. Paddy’s Day, but I can’t remember. I kind of lost track of who, what and when around 6:45PM along with my fine motor skills soon after. Let’s just say that no charges were pressed and like a wounded dog, I am still licking my wounds.

I dear reader, am getting to old to drink from 8AM till 10PM and don’t really think I will be doing so next year. There comes a time when all traditions must end. This I think is one of them as far as it concerns me. Maybe 4 to 10, or something, but not the long-haul-hard-charge.

Suffice to say, I drank at numerous bars, with numerous people, kissed a few girls and punched a few people in the face. I am still hearing stories of my exploits, which we all know is how folk stories are born.

Note to self: don’t drink over two bottles of Rumplemizt (aka JQP Crack). I spent Saturday and Sunday both repenting and recovering from an acute case of alcohol poisoning.

Monday, I returned to work, looking and feeling my very best. A joy to behold. A once again found myself pushed ever so gently in front of a speeding bus. Thankfully, I didn’t give a shit, sucked up and moved on. It's Lent after all. Office politics really suck ass.

I have been doing trainings and writing grants since Monday. You ever have those weeks where it feels like your working underwater, like everything you do takes twice as long with half the results? That dear reader is my week.

Add to that, my loving bride started her period and has been a manic psycho (which if you know my flower can be a dangerous thing), and you have my life story to date. I feel like Nick Cage could play me in a made for TV movie on the Spike Network.

Today's Bill:

SONNET 82
I grant thou wert not married to my Muse
And therefore mayst without attaint o'erlook
The dedicated words which writers use
Of their fair subject, blessing every book
Thou art as fair in knowledge as in hue,
Finding thy worth a limit past my praise,
And therefore art enforced to seek anew
Some fresher stamp of the time-bettering days
And do so, love; yet when they have devised
What strained touches rhetoric can lend,
Thou truly fair wert truly sympathized
In true plain words by thy true-telling friend;
And their gross painting might be better used
Where cheeks need blood; in thee it is abused.

Quote of the Day:
The spread of evil is the symptom of a vacuum. whenever evil wins, it is only by default: by the moral failure of those who evade the fact that there can be no compromise on basic principles.
Ayn Rand

I remain, a fucking ray of sunshine, so piss off:

JQP

Friday Last:

(I traded livers with this man. I think I got the better end of the deal.)

JQP

No Love Thursday:

Thought for the Day:
A scholar's ink lasts longer than a martyr's blood. Irish proverb


I would like to dedicate today and most of tomorrow to Mr. Shane MacGowan, who’s sage like lyrics and clear vision have had a dramatic impact on the man I am today.

On throwing my body off the Wagon:

Just a few short hours and I will be in the company of my fellow travelers. With a tentative start time of 8am, at the "Amphibian" Pub, 10:00 the Rugby Bar, followed by at 4:00 My Favorite Bar, (Note: the schedule is subject to change as are the durations of drinking time at each site).


For us Irish Catholics it’s a time to see old friends, catch up, get into a fist fight, buy each other shots, and wake up the next morning forgetting you ever saw them until the photos come back a week later.

I will be in the company of my loving and bird like wife, distinguished members of the Rugby team, the media (print, radio & TV) the local constabulary, the fire services, also the medical and judicial fields. Dear friends, one and all.

A day for deep pockets and strong livers if there ever was one. Truth be known, my flower has already been asked to sing at two bars not on the tour, so she might go off and make me some money, she has a voice like an angel when it comes to Irish songs, She even learned a new one this year, it’s a happy one where only 2 people die.

Your Mail Order Brides for the Week:
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=rata77
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=aegeria
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=metisse99
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Jana_7 (my fav.)
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=bigheart
(what do you think her story is)

Posts:

I will not be posting on Friday. After the shakes have subsided and I am able to form coherent sentences, I will endeavor to up-date you the reader on what promises to be a pub crawl to remember.

Your Drinks for the Day:

(Going with an Irish Theme)

Irish Snack Food:
1 shot each Bushmills, John Powers, Tullamore Dew, (repeat if nessary)

Three Square meals:
3 Pints of Guinness (you may substitute 6 Harp’s, which is my personal preference).

(It is after all a feast day.)

Your Hairy Picture for the Week:


Today's Bill:
"Thou art a votary to fond desire."
From The Two Gentlemen of Verona (I, i, 52)

Quote of the Day:
An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout. Anonymous

I remain, responsible for the cultural stereotypes associated with the Irish:

John Q. O'Public

Run'n with the Bulls:

I am on the road today, play nice.

JQP

Ramblings of the Untreated and Unrepentant:

Only Two Shopping Days until Saint Patrick’s Day

Thought for the Day:
I once won a 4-H Club award for imitating animals-ducks, chickens, turkeys, geese, cows, hogs, roosters. I could also imitate accents-Scottish, Irish, Australian.
Charley Pride


(I never get invited to the fun sleepovers)

Today:
I am up to my ‘wee lil’ round, pouty ass in work today, if I am to take Friday off (and I am, dear reader, trust me I am), so even less wit and wisdom than usual. As a result here is some substandard work for your limited attention span.

Things I notice:
The people who talk the most about their faith are people who can barely hold onto it.
Why if everything is going so well in Iraq, am I paying so much at the pump?
Forget the Iraq, why am I paying so much for natural gas?
Online bill paying is not everything its cracked up to be.
Guinness is busting its ass to make St. Paddy’s day a week long holiday.
The problem with America today is that not enough people give a shit.
This country is three square meals away from revolution at any given time.
The Army raised its re-up age to 40 and is offering over 100,000 bucks to go back.
I really don’t like cold weather.
When my wife starts a diet, it pretty much makes me on a diet.
Hair growing out of my ears pisses me off.
The good people from USA Group Student Loans are in league with the Devil.
I can’t remember the last time I ate at a fast food joint.
I am an attractive man and women respond accordingly.
Eel sucks no matter how you cook it.
Condoms do in fact have use by dates.
Saying that your condoms are going to go bad if we don’t use them is not an effective come-on line.
I am thinking about selling my boat, cheap, on e-bay.
I miss Yugoslavia.
Potato pancakes and Major Grey’s Chutney with sausage stuffed leeks is a good breakfast for a lad such as myself.

Some seasonal Humor:

Paddy dies:
Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Seamus looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy."

The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body. Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup he's burnt real bad, roll him over". The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy".


The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes." "What, he had two assholes?" said the mortician. "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, "Here comes Paddy with them two assholes...."

Her Majesties Royal Navy and the Irish:
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-01:

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision.

IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

IRISH: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert YOUR course.

BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

Another Paddy Joke:
A Patrick O’Malley suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at Our Lady of Misery Hospital.

As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment. She asked, "Do you have health insurance?" He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance.. "

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank."

The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "I only have a bitter old spinster sister, who is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not bitter nor are they spinsters! We are married to God." The patient replied, "Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Catholic Mass for Dummies & Prots:
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information read only during the homily. 2. Catholic air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often a little shorter and sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams. Also known as the Vatican’s SS.

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELIEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass– led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

Since reenlistment is an option, I find it sometimes best to reflect:

The Navy:


The Army:


Your Bill for the Day:
"He hath given his empire
Up to a whore."
--From Antony and Cleopatra (III, vi, 66-67)

Quote for the Day:
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing.
Michael Flatley, who is My Own personal Jesus.

I remain, the dry well of youthful optimism:

JQP

On dog hunts, davenports and gunpowder:

Thought for the Day:
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.”


(I would like to dedicate this day to an early role model for us all, Mr. Leif Garrett; a man who to this day never fails to inspire me in my reckless pursuit of excellence.)

A Brief re-cap of my Weekend:
On Friday last, I enjoyed the company of my loving and dutiful wife at several locations throughout the manor house. My understanding is that she had called time and temp, thus the mood.

After which we enjoyed a meal of shrimp scampi, keeping in the sprit of this holiday known as Lent. She enjoyed a few movies into the night while I read yet another book on the Ottoman Empire. We turned in at the late hour of 11 PM.

Saturday, I woke at my flowers instance to bright sunshiny day, while this great state in which we reside enjoyed a rather uncharacteristic warming trend. Surprised at the early hour and my brides alertness, I was informed that I had 15 mins. to get ready.

She had ordered a Ryder Truck and we had places to go. My loving wife can be rather impulsive at times, this being one of them. I was as she put it a “drop your cocks and grab your socks, I want a see assholes and elbows, move it, move it” kind of morning.

I love it when she talks Marine to me, it’s so dirty.

So, with 2 mins. to spare, we were on the road, I was looking and feeling my best. However, I found myself thinking my love was having some kind of covert-ops flashback, I thought it prudent to not ask our mission.

It all too soon became apparent when we crossed the border into Michigan; obviously we were going to spend some quality time with her primitive tribal people. You the frequent reader of these pages know I rather enjoy the time spent with them and their Upper Peninsula customs, although mostly in an anthropological sense.

Last year, I joined them for their traditional Thanksgiving Day Dog Hunt. I still have the cammo baseball cap they gave me to represent our kinship. It seems her aunt and uncle are downsizing into a smaller hut and wanted to give us a sofa and a bedroom set, plus other various items from their household, thus this early morning trek.

So, dear reader I am now the proud owner of a floral print sofa, 15 tropical plants, all survivors of funeral arrangements a step ladder, two bikes and over 100 candles. However, we did not take the white bedroom set; I being the man that I am drew a line on that. I don’t care how many female members of the tribe enjoyed its princess like comforts, it was not going home with us.

That was something for which I paid for the rest of the drive home.

Upon our return to the center of the known universe (Indiana), we unloaded the truck and rearranged furniture, after which my love went shopping with Mrs. Pastor Bob. After she started speaking to me again, we enjoyed a quiet evening and a wholesome meal of stone ground breads, goat cheeses and cured meats, putting on old Cat Stevens LPs and dancing well into the night.

Then Sunday, we walked to the early-bird special Mass, after which my loving and petite flower and I enjoyed a breakfast at a local Vietnamese restaurant, her a 4 egg omelet, myself some Bun Bo Hue. After our moring meal we visited some super Catholic friends who have 6 children all under the age of 7, enjoyable but not relaxing. Later that morning I reseeded the lawn and did a few other guy type things out doors ie: I pee’d on the fence and chewed tobacco.

In the afternoon I went over to my dear friend Matt the Cop’s home on the city’s fashionable Northwest side, after chatting about how much it sucks that I am not drinking for Lent we took a different course of action. We went to the firing range and fired automatic weapons and high powered rifles at cardboard cut-outs of famous NASCAR drivers. A good natured, fun filled afternoon was had in the company of our fellow gun enthuses. I plan to teach a class on battle sighting the M-16 A2 at an up-coming date, reserve your spot now.

With ears still ringing and gun power in my nose I came home to a wonderful meal of steaks. After which we sat on our new flowerily sofa and watched "Elizabethtown", which while being a chic flick does have some good southern humor in it and a great rendition of Freebird (a personal favorite of yours truly).

All in all a quiet, sedate weekend on the Public household.

Today’s Bill:
SONNET 10
For shame! deny that thou bear'st love to any,
Who for thyself art so unprovident.
Grant, if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many,
But that thou none lovest is most evident;
For thou art so possess'd with murderous hate
That 'gainst thyself thou stick'st not to conspire.
Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate
Which to repair should be thy chief desire.
O, change thy thought, that I may change my mind!
Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?
Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind,
Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:
Make thee another self, for love of me,
That beauty still may live in thine or thee.

Quote of the Day:
“"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.'”
William Butler Yeats

I remain coveted, much like the last sheet of toilet paper:

JQP esq.

I spit in the wind & pulled the mask off the old Lone Ranger:

Thought for the Day:
The thing about boxing is, you can give up. You drop your arms and you lay down and it's over. Sure, you've lost the fight, but at least you're not getting beaten up anymore. Life, though... You drop your arms and you lay down and the son of a bitch just keeps pummling you. -- Greg Knauss


(Why don’t the Crack Whores on my street look like that? If they did I wouldn’t turn the hounds on them has often as I do. See, proof that I am a compassionate man, more so if they were pretty in whore kind of way and gave out freebees.)

Dry as the Desert:
Today starts day 12 of no drinking, fucking hell… Well, I guess Lent isn’t supposed to be easy. The last 2 days were the hardest, around 3:30 I start counting down till they unlock the doors to my favorite bar.

I am bored, out of my f’ing skull. However, I don’t wake-up feeling like shit, I have money left over at the end of the week, and I don’t scare my neighbors by setting off shaped charges in the middle of the night. Other side effects have been that I have not engaged in any passionate debates on the varying degrees of the current ruling junta’s war criminality, and/or subsequent fist fights.

God bless the Bishop for the dispensation and letting us mackerel snappers indulge on St. Paddy’s Day, it’s given me something to live for. However, I am at a loss for the holy act to perform; I don’t think my normal act of wearing mouse traps on my nipples is going to cut it this year. I am entertaining suggestions, make it a good one that will get me into heaven, or at least cut my time down in purgatory.

So, to all you who thought I wouldn’t make it this far, piss-off.


Proof that Al-Qa’ida has successfully infiltrated US leadership:
Osama still a free man (the fuck-stick is the where’s Waldo of Global Terrorism).
Selling the rights of US ports.
Oil money.
Fundamentalists running things (just substitute Jesus for Allah and adjust for the accent and they are saying the same thing)
Loss of individual rights (re-authorization of the Patriot Act)
Pat Roberson calling the shots on foreign policy.
Swarms of locust and toads across the mid-west.
Hurricanes (oh, sorry, these last two are from a “Proof “W” is the Anti-Christ”)

Your Mail Order Brides for the Week:
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Elenka5
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=purplerain632
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=pahvala
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=LadylikeEmerald
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Ariadna-A




Your Drinks of the Week:
(Re-runs since I took the pledge and am working my program, taking one day at a time and all that happy horse shit.)

“The Left-Coast Julep”
1 Tbspn Sugar
3 Lime Sections
5 Leaves of Mint
1 oz. Sour Apple Pucker
1.5 oz. Bacardi Limon Rum
1 oz. Pineapple Juice
Club Soda

Ice Muddle (mash) the lime, sugar and mint leaves together. Add the Sour Apple Pucker, Limon Rum, & Pineapple Juice and shake with ice. Pour into a tall glass (highball or Collins) top off with the club soda.

The Back Ward Punch
1 jigger Cheap Rye Whiskey
1 jigger Spiced Rum
1/4 jigger Grenadine
Juice of 1/2 Lemon

Shake with ice. Pour into glass. Fill with Soda. Garnish with Fruit.

The Tropic of Cancer (Two thumbs up from JQP)
1/6 Rye
1/6 Sugar Syrup
1/6 Ouzo
1/6 Light Rum
1/6 Pernod
2 dash each Angostura and Orange Bitters

Shake with ice. Garnish with an olive and a cherry

Todays’ Bill:
SONNET 62
Sin of self-love possesseth all mine eye
And all my soul and all my every part;
And for this sin there is no remedy,
It is so grounded inward in my heart.
Methinks no face so gracious is as mine,
No shape so true, no truth of such account;
And for myself mine own worth do define,
As I all other in all worths surmount.
But when my glass shows me myself indeed,
Beated and chopp'd with tann'd antiquity,
Mine own self-love quite contrary I read;
Self so self-loving were iniquity.
'Tis thee, myself, that for myself I praise,
Painting my age with beauty of thy days.

Quote of the Day:
It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier. -- Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus

I remain; much like the little man who folk dances on your bladder when you slumber,

JQP esq.

White Power!...need I say more?

Thought for the Day:
It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence. Mahatma Gandhi

It's a No-Love-Thursday:
...and I am still not drinking. Nope, nada, none. However, I was real close yesterday, there is something about 3:30 in the afternoon makes my ass want to go find a bar stool and a cold beer.

So, instead of going and having a beer I went and rented Jarhead and bought some beef jerky. The movie was ok, pretty much close to the book. It made me homesick for boots and automatic weapons. Keeping in the sprit of the day; I wish you all a bitter day, and sucess in inflicting psyco-trama on your play-mates.


(Its make your own caption day, I am to busy to use my wit and charm today. I know you will not let the team down.)

Today's Bill:
"Oft expectation fails, and most oft there
Where most it promises; and oft it hits
Where hope is coldest, and despair most fits."
--From All's Well That Ends Well (II, i, 145-147)

Your Poem of the Day:
(This is the first few lines of one of my favorite poems; I like to think of it as my mantra during these troubled times.)

HOWL by Allen Ginsberg
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities
contemplating jazz,

Quote of the Day:
Dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don't. Brett Butler, 'Knee Deep in Paradise'

All my best parts,

JQP

Your are the Wind beneath my Wings:

Thought for the Day:
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
Simon Cameron


While born with out legs, Paul eventually found group acceptance as a spiritual guide for young ladies who dress in black, read Emily Dickason and listen to Dead Can Dance.

His un-prescribed use of GHB and Fleet Enemas, among his followers however lead to his eventual downfall as a community college cult leader. His subsequent prison term affected Paul so much that to this day he suffers from an unnatural fear of showers and public restrooms.

In the news:

Tom Delay celebrates his winning of the Texas Republican Primary with long term companion Buck Smith, whose special effects wizardry can be seen in the Hollywood block buster “Broke Back Mountain”. Which goes to prove what I have often said about Texas.


In a candid interview at his compound outside of Kendallville, Indiana, Congressman Mark Souder states he wants a tougher line against insurgents in Iraq and will introduce a bill ok’ing the use of carpet bombing and napalm, stating “…it’s not like they are White Christians or anything”. Please note that Mr. Souder was a draft dodger when his number was called during the Vietnam War.


Indiana Gov. Mitch “the slayer-midget” Daniels, announced a very expensive ad campaign to convince residents of this great state that selling off public assets is a good thing, particularly since it will give his administration 2.5 billion dollars to pad the pockets of his cabal.

Party Planning:

An observance of Saint Patrick’s Day is being planed in the Capital of this Great State, for Friday next. The day when the Prots get to play at being Irish-Catholic. Come party with the bloggers you love to hate in this celebration of what it truly means to be an Irish-Hoosiers , Irish-American, White-Trash, or a German tourist for the day (Note: no Buckeyes, even we have limits).

With an 8am start time and pockets full of money, the chosen will begin a pub-crawl that will set the gold standard for all pub crawls to come. RSVP’s are being accepted, watch this space for further details. Remember, if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with. Good luck, we are all counting on you.

Your Bill for the Day:
"Here's ado to lock up honesty
And honor from th' access of gentle visitors."
From The Winter's Tale (II, ii, 9-11)

Quote of the Day:
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
James Joyce

I remain much like a kindly tick feeding on your misgivings:

JQP esq.

St. Paddy's Day is A-OK

Throw back that fish, lad; break out the corned beef
By Rebecca S. Green
The Journal Gazette

Irish Catholics, and those Catholics who feel Irish, face an enormous dilemma this year.
March 17 is St. Patrick’s Day, which, if you’re keeping track, falls on a Friday during Lent. Catholics do not eat meat on Fridays during Lent, or at least they’re not supposed to.

Bishop John M. D’Arcy, head of the Fort Wayne-South Bend Roman Catholic Diocese, cleared up the liturgical murkiness Tuesday by issuing a dispensation allowing Roman Catholics within the diocese to partake of meat on that special Friday.

Here’s to corned beef and cabbage and beer.

The son of Irish immigrants and a Boston native, D’Arcy has a special affinity for St. Patrick, who converted all of Ireland from paganism to Christianity within 30 years.
“He was almost like a mystic, a person of intense prayer,” D’Arcy said.

In light of St. Patrick’s legacy, D’Arcy is asking all area Roman Catholics who take advantage of the dispensation to eat meat to also perform a holy act on or near March 17. After all, D’Arcy said, in Ireland the day is viewed as a day of holy obligation, and everyone goes to church. D’Arcy has some concerns about the way the day is celebrated in America because of drinking and the partying.

So D’Arcy will be holding a Mass in the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception at 12:05 p.m. on St. Patrick’s Day. He intends to read a bit from the Confessions of St. Patrick about his life of prayer.

The decision to grant the dispensation, which is part of his authority as a bishop, came after one concerned Catholic called called diocesan offices over 100 times, asking whether D’Arcy intended to give one, something he had done in the past.

(Proof the lobbying pays off, I have called every hour on the hour since Ash Wednesday)

On Exotic Dancing, Nazi’s, Small Arms and Manhood:

Thought for the Day:
I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people. Mark Twain, "Is Shakespeare Dead?"



(Only ten shopping days until St. Patrick’s Day and yes I do accept gift cards)

News from Homefront:

My Loving and ever so svelte wife informed me this morning that she would not be home at her appointed time. She has to entertain a group of boy scouts at the “57th Annual Father-Son Smoker and Casino Night”.

I would guess that’s why she shaved her legs, since it’s not the 3rd Monday of the month and all. She assures me that every lad and dad will be earning their merit badges, provided they are fans of the performing arts and have folding money.


I was raised not to trust the cub scouts or the boy scouts. As some of you know my wise and loving parents considered them fascist organizations. Organizations whose only purpose was to indoctrinate tender young minds into worker bees for use of the leadership cabal of the military industrial complex. Why else would they force the little “wolf-packs/dens” into wearing uniforms and reciting oaths.


While my childhood peers were earning badges in knot tying and canoeing, I was under the tutelage of my father the slightly eccentric Vietnam Vet, learning skills such as how to make a shank, common household cleaning items that when combined form high explosives and my favorite "101 Ways to Kill a Man" (Parts both A and B). While I have found those skills learned in youth useful at times, I doubt that I will teach them to my child should I be so blessed.


The skills I would like to impart on my son would be things more useful, such as how to make the perfect Mint Julep, Gin and Tonic and Bloody Mary. How to order in French, even if it is McDonalds, how to think for himself, tie a tie, pack a good bowl of tobacco in a fine pipe and how to both take a punch and give one. Skills that I have found most useful.

Today’s Bill:
SONNET 2
When forty winters shall beseige thy brow,
And dig deep trenches in thy beauty's field,
Thy youth's proud livery, so gazed on now,
Will be a tatter'd weed, of small worth held:
Then being ask'd where all thy beauty lies,
Where all the treasure of thy lusty days,
To say, within thine own deep-sunken eyes,
Were an all-eating shame and thriftless praise.
How much more praise deserved thy beauty's use,
If thou couldst answer 'This fair child of mine
Shall sum my count and make my old excuse,'
Proving his beauty by succession thine!
This were to be new made when thou art old,
And see thy blood warm when thou feel'st it cold.

Quote of the Day:
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
Friedrich Nietzsche, The Dawn, Sec. 297

I remain, the prettiest boy in the whole class:

JQP esq.

A short post to start you week off:

In the Office:
Today is catch-up day. I have not been at my desk since last month and had a ton of mail, etc… The plus side is that I get to see who has tossed me under the bus while I have been gone.

I have to get about 5 grants out the door this week add to that meetings up the ass and you get the picture. My loving flower told me she will be working late every night this week but tonight, which sucks, I don’t do well with free time.

Lent Countdown:
7 days so far. No beer, wine or liquor has passed my lips since Feb. 26th. Yesterday, I was weak in the afternoon, feeling homesick for the beach and “Boat-Drinks”. It was that kind of day.

It didn’t help matters that I went to my nephew’s 7th birthday party at one of those hotels with an indoor swimming pool. Think of 40 seven year olds in a pool. It was kid stew, thusly not being a fan of boy urine and chlorine; I stayed out and helped with crowd control. If that was not a test brothers and sisters, I don’t know what was.

More News at the Top of the Hour:

JQP

thigh-high leather boots with 4 inch heals and a g-string, sometimes its best not to bring your parents to school:

(I am feeling pretty today)

Hedge your bets:
I am currently, still sober, yes still on the wagon. However it has come to my attention that a few of you have voiced some concern that I might not be able to stand up to temptation during this period of Lentil observance.

As a result, I am taking bets as to if I will be able to make it. That’s right your chance to win numerous wonderful prizes. Pick a day that you think I will fall, or if you have faith in my rock like will. Think of a 50/50 raffle.

Mrs. JQP:
Decided she was giving up saying NO! to my frequent amorous advances for Lent. God speed, my flower. I know all you readers of PTOAPM, wish her success in meeting her Lentil obligations. Sorry about your luck CPF. However the down side is that I reminded that I am not 18 anymore. That and sometimes I just want to be told that I am pretty and be held.

My reading over the past two Weeks:
“When Hell Froze Over” Halliday, takes a look at the US troops sent to Russia to fight against the Bolsheviks after WWI, something they did teach us in history class.

“Caesar against the Celts” Jimenez, I have found the parallels between the Roman Empire and today quite enlightening.

“Angels Flight” Connelly, Chewing gum for the mind, even I like to loose myself in a crime novel every now and again.

My days:
On the road come to an end, has of Monday I am back to riding a desk. I for one am glad to have had the experience of seeing the wonders of our humble state, meeting countless good and kind people and eating numerous breaded pork tenderloins, slices of pie washed down with cups of coffee in 89 of the 92 counties of Indiana.

Your Drinks for the Week:
(These are reruns, since I and my crack team of serial liver abusers, have not been able to taste test any new drinks)

Panty-Jam Drink Recipe
Drink Ingredients:
1 oz. Orange Juice
2 oz. Lemon Juice
2 oz. 151 Rum
1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps
2 Powdered Sugar
1/4 oz. Banana Liqueur
1/2 oz. Strawberry Liqueur
1/2 oz. Dekuyper Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps

Instruction:
blend ingredients with crushed ice until smooth and pour into parfait glass, garnish with mint sprig and a maraschino cherry

Abe Froman Drink Recipe
Drink Ingredients:
3 oz. Vodka
3 oz. Grenadine
9 oz. Lemonade

Instruction:
Add vodka to rack glass. Then add desired lemonade. Top off with grenadine syrup for red appearance and berry flavor. Enjoy!

Have a wonderful weekend dear reader, carry on for me doing what I can not do for myself ie: get a hickey or get so drunk you pee on yourself or someone close to you:

JQP

On Hang-nails and new Bruising:

Thought for the Day:
Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.
Bob Uecker

It’s a No-Love-Thursday:
…and I with ash still fresh on my face I start my season of Lent. I shall not count myself among the multitude of the esteemed judges of horse flesh and bitter hops, for I brothers and sisters have taken the pledge.

Until the celebration of Easter, I will refrain from liquid mind altering substances. The only exception beside that of my weak will power and or moral code, would be that of the celebration of the feast day of Saint Patrick, for which our Bishop (often known as the Great and Powerful Oz) lifts Lent restrictions (it helps that he is Irish).

To my brothers and sisters of the secret community known as No-Love, is wish you many happy gatherings when you are satisfied in the knowledge that you have destroyed the will power and self esteem of those of lesser rank. Drink a shot of strong liquor in honor of my absence. My spirit is with you all, kick ass and take names my fellow members of the Order of the Mahogany Bar.

Today’s Bill:
When griping grief the heart doth wound,
and doleful dumps the mind opresses,
then music, with her silver sound,
with speedy help doth lend redress.
William Shakespeare

Quote of the Day:
As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever.
Clarence Darrow

I remain, every so humble:

JQP

Times they are a changing:

While not a hair shirt, I am at least in the spirt.

And so begins Lent….
A little known fact but this is my favorite religious holiday. This year I have an A list and a B list. My A List: No Booze, No Tobacco, No cussing, No Caffeine
My B list is yet to be defined (but most likely what ever I have left on List A after failing).

Status:
I will be on rather hit and miss, until next week. At which time, my days on the road will be over. I will then take a bit of time to get to know my loving wife again and get into the flow of not living out of a suitcase.

Not Work Place Safe Hair of the Stars:
http://www.tgpprofessional.com/celeb185/thehun.htm


JQP