On Vampire Loving and other thoughts on Menses:

Der Menstruationszyklus: Die drei Phasen des Menstruationszyklus I

In medizinischen Lehrbüchern wird der Menstruationszyklus in zwei, drei, vier oder mehr Phasen eingeteilt. An dieser Stelle scheint eine Einteilung in drei Phasen ausreichend:



Now that the class room discussion is out of the way, a few thought on visits from Auntie Flow and midnight rides on the cotton pony…

Why is it that women seem to forget that they have periods? I am not talking about accidents I am talking about:

“Gee, I have a headache and I don’t know why”

“I am bloated, must be all the (fill in the blank) I ate and/or drank”

“Why is my skin so bad?"

"I hate (fill in the blank) followed by tears.”

“My boobs are sore!”

"Oh, My God! Where did all this blood come from!!!"

" You bastard what did you do to me!!!"

Hello, I can tell you why, because you going to start your rag!
Yes, I keep track, since you dont. Hell, I even graph it, so guess what it doesn’t surprise every month.

Of late, I am thinking about keeping a box of tampons and some of those hospital issued pads on hand, you know why? Cause it doesn’t surprise me and I am tired of some woman saying quietlt "I started and I dont have any pads."

Hell, I do a whole lot better in predicting menses than Notre Dame winning seasons. rest assured, if I or anyother guy, got the shits for a week every month we would put a little bit of planning into it.

I remain the sensitive male you have all grown to know and love:

JQP

Working in a Coal Mine:

(Still busy, lot to learn, lot to play catch-up on, equals long hours with no blog play time, will update as I can. BTW: I am meeting lots of nice ppl.)

JQP

Your Weekly Reader:

JQP

AZ Highland Games Weekend:

(I have a snake in my mother-fucking kilt.)

A review of the people and events, Monday:

JQP

On why French Culture is Superior and your Primary Voting Guide:

(I have a power over women. Chiefly because of my Pan like charm and my Loki like outlook on life, my package and pretty round ass help.)


Random Ponderings:

Well, today was 139 of my residing in this land of milk and honey, also day 4 of my new J-O-B.

Day one of Lent! Yeah! I am going to get some Lent candy!

It only took an hour to go 30 miles today.

I gave up drinking.

Yes, I know.

Also, saying cuss words.

However, typing them is fine.

Fuck Off, it’s my loop hole and I like it.

My new boss speaks a high bread language of Washington staffer and academic.

I speak neither fluently.

I am eating some fried chicken ala JQP tonight, both I and the chicken so rock.

I laughed when I heard the judge in the Anna Nichol Smith dead body case start crying today. Just leave DOG alone, damn-it Mexico!

Mexico should be spanked and sent home for messing for my personal role model and hero, DOG http://www.dogthebountyhunter.com/main.php

Mexico and Venezuela have been working in secret to undermine the authority of our noble vice-president.

Hollywood people come to Scottsdale to “get away from the whole LA scene”.

Scottsdale is a lot like LA, at least the fashionable parts of LA.

Watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLJYBlObudw

I am looking forward to using my pool.

The AC doesn’t work in my corner office, one wall of which is all glass.

I lit a candle on Tues. for HST. His truth goes marching on, a little bit in all of us.

I work with a very diverse group, in an interesting way.

I am thinking about moving to Uganda.

I must go, it is time for vespers.

I remain, your imaginary friend, the one who wets your bed:

JQP esq.

Merry Lent to Everyone:

(Going with a theme, French Onion, and I brought enough for everybody!)

Off to Mass and then to bed, hugs and kisses etc...

JQP

First Day at the New J-O-B:

(The bastards wouldn’t let me take my 2pm nap.)

Points of the Day:
I filled out half my HR pp wk.
I have to go to the Police Dept. and have my finger prints taken.
I told them they could just use the ones Interpol has on file.
I am still a natty dresser.
No, I really don’t buy my ties at Wal-Mart, that was humor.
I get them a the Dollar Store, ‘cause I am a tight ass and I don’t need to put on airs.
Starting a new job sucks, but not has much as being broke and bored.
I got a free lunch today.
There is no such thing as a free lunch.
I did however order a 15 dollar hamburger in Scottsdale.
I didn’t even know where the bathroom was and they started me working on a few grants.
I am going to be busy, real busy, real, real busy.
It’s not going to be an easy job, but it should keep me out of trouble.
14 hours with the commute.
I am really cute, just thought you should know.
…and they sent me home with homework.
If you want to win a race, hire a thoroughbred.

I remain, a noble servant of the ideals of truth, justice and the American Way:

JQP esp.

"Every morning I wake-up, put on my make-up..."

(You to can have an exciting career in animal husbandry.)

Back into the salt mines of human services:
I start my new j-o-b Tues. at 9am. I am looking forward to having a few coins in my pocket and to have somewhere else to wonder around aimlessly. From the sounds of it its going to be a place I eed to bring my A-Game to, they even make you wear suits there. Thanks everyone for the postive thoughts etc. I was getting to a point where the well had run dry. More later.

I remain shopping for my suits a Good Will and ties at Walmart:

JQP

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

Well, today and/or Monday are the days that I should hear if I am to once again join the legions of the gainfully employed. …and brothers and sisters, it can’t come any to soon. We are beyond tight, if I don’t get something ASAP, I might have to go back to dancing or perhaps starting my own cult.

In other news, this weekend is the start of pre-Lent parties. As many of you long time readers know Lent is my favorite religious holiday. It seems every year in February, I become a bad Catholic and slow down on my regular Mass attendance, Lent serves as a “welcome back” thing for me. That and I love the idea of penitence.

Thus my question, I need something to give up, any ideas? Past things were; cussing, masturbation and alcohol (man, that was a hard two hours). I know a lot of people do some good works, but for a social justice activist such as myself that is really not where I am at. I dig the Mia Culpa stuff.

Well, friends, think of me today. Daddy needs a j-o-b.

JQP

Something for the Ladies:

Your Hairy Pic of the Week:

(Come comb my back hair.)

JQP

Subject: Nose Hair

(I would like to thank-you for your support.)

Happy Valentines Day to those legions of you who have impure thoughts about me, I heart a whole lot of you to.

…and a Happy Statehood day to the state of Arizona.

Today is the day, yes the day of the 3rd interview, big deal thing, at the job I want. 2:pm Mountain Time.

Let’s invade someplace cool like Japan; they at least have sushi, giant monsters, and happy ending massage.

I am an FDR democrat and for that matter a supporter of organized labor, one great union one great strike.

My call is that it’s 50/50 we invade Iran, John Good’s blog had a god write up on our new intel that points fingers at Iran.

You know for the past few weeks living here has not been all that bad, when compared to the weather in the Midwest.

I want all my Midwestern readers to know that I view the snow and cold as character building, thus the reason I know so many characters.

I have spent hours studying this agency, the bios of its leadership, its history and its programs.

My Flower was at the Moody Blues concert most of the night.

I am a ray of fucking sunshine today.

I couldn’t sleep last night.

That is all,

JQP

I'll have frys with that:

(Just think your children & grand children might just have a chance to garrison far flung outposts in Iraq or one of the many ‘stans, it’s a brave new world dear reader.)

Mixed Feelings:
The Congressional vote on support (or lack there of) for dumb asses skills as a military genius. I just heard the Dems say it won’t affect the sprits of our troops. Well, if it was me running a daily chance of getting my face, arms and/or legs blown the fuck off, I think the fact that everyone in Congress doesn’t support me and my friends sacrifice might just have an effect on me.

Now there are a lot of people smarter than me out there (ok, perhaps only 3 or 4), there has to be a way to get us out of this fucking mess without fucking ourselves up anymore than this country has let it's leadership.

Is it just me or are you surprised by the fact that these fucks (both parties) who lived through Vietnam, didn’t learn a fucking thing from it? Every time I watch the news, it just screams 1971 to me… Peace with honor… Next up someone running will be saying some thing about a “secret plan to get us out of Iraq” sadly, that might involve a repete of The Fall Saigon.

What a fucking mess, it’s time for all of us to quit says we shouldn’t have done it, “we” yes we, did, thats the end of that, now what? As my sainted mother always said, “it’s your fucking mess, you little shithead, clean it the fuck up, or you don’t eat again this week”. Fix it.

Which brings me to the 3-card Monty of Bush's foreign and domestic policy, Iran… More on that 3rd rail of the Middle east at a later date.

I remain standing my post on the wall of public opinion and all that is good and right:

JQP esq.

Fighting the Good Fight

(In my effort to find gainful employment.)

More news at the top of the hour:

JQP

You ever look at someone else’s elbow? I have…

(It’s a Thug Life, you wouldn’t understand.)

Random Thoughts on a Friday:

Being unemployed means everyday is a Friday.

I will not enjoy retirement.

I don’t do well with free time.

Since my earlier plans didn’t pan out, I am going to go rock climbing.

Rocks are free here.

I have met my deductible for the year.

I have been getting very creative with making cheap food.

So, far some pluses of living in the desert, sunrise and sunsets, and the warmth. It’s been zero back in Indiana and 70’s and 80’s here.

All beach, no ocean.

The place I want to work wants a third interview next week.

I am afraid that someone will call and make me an offer before that.

This book on Ben Franklin is boring as shit, right now it’s a grudge match.

Another great Texan died.

I always thought there was something tragic about her life.

Obama is my pick for who the Dems will run.

McCain is losing what respect I had for him, funny he is not well respected here in AZ.

I am starting a rugby team in the city I live in.

Chiefly, because I don’t want to drive up to the other teams.

I have two jobs that are looking good, both are something I want to do and best of all both want to pay me more than I have ever made before.

I however am not counting my chickens.

I love NPR.

I spend a lot of time praying about it.

Lent is coming up; it’s my favorite religious holiday.

I fed my dogs a gallon of red beans yesterday, this morning I woke to shit all over the house.

My Flower cleaned it up, because I told he it was gross.

Sometimes acting like a pussy can get you out of having to do something.
My plan for the day: dishes, laundry, cleaning, shopping.

I will make someone a wonderful wife someday.

I still have not hung any art in this place.

I think life will get better when I have a j-o-b.

It sucks when ppl. Tell you they will not hire you because your have to many skills.

It’s a lot harder than you think to find a reputable on-line grad school.

I am going to make chicken legs, greens, corn on the cob and corn bread tonight for supper.

I like that you can get lots of good produce here. However the beef sucks.

Pork is cheap here, cheaper than chicken.

I like me some pork.

For some reason my truck is flipping into 4-WD Low, which is not a lot of fun when your driving at 75 down a crowded interstate.

I am thinking our next move should be someplace like Cedar Key, FL.

Laid back and warm.

My wireless is fucking up today.

I want to live on the coast in a house trailer, why you ask? They are disposable housing come hurricane time. Grab your shit, and flee, come back and buy another one.

My Flower has been thinking New Orleans, someplace we could play and not hurt any civilians.

Life can be funny and spending so much time alone is both good and bad.

I have been thinking about trying the baby thing again.

Other than that the well is dry this morning.

I remain, tap dancing on your self-esteem:

JQP esq.

Your Zen for the Day:

I remain, loving life and all God's children:

JQP

Your Recipes for the Week:

Poor Man's Perogies

Ingredients
1 pk Lasagna noodles
1 1/2 c Margarine or butter
4 ea Onions, diced
11 ea Medium potatoes
1 clove of garlic
1 lb Velveeta
Parmesan cheese, grated
Coarse Black Pepper

Instructions

Saute 1 1/2 sticks of margarine and the diced onions until tender. Cook lasagna noodles as directed on the package. Boil potatoes until tender as for mashed potatoes. Cube cheese. After potatoes are cooked, add cheese and remaining margarine (no milk!) and mash like making mashed potatoes. In a 9 x 13 pan, layer: 1/3 of onions on bottom, layer of noodles, 1/3 of potatoes. Repeat layers ending with mashed potatoes. Top with parmesan cheese and pepper. Bake at 350F for 30 - 35 minutes. Cut into squares and serve.

Bubble and Squeak
(cabbage and potatoes)

equal parts chopped cabbage and mashed potatoes
salt and pepper to taste
a bit of oil for frying

Cook the chopped cabbage in boiling salted water for 5-10 minutes and drain.

Mix the cooked cabbage with the mashed potatoes and season with salt and pepper.

Heat the oil in a frying pan. Put a spoon full of the potato and cabbage mixture in the pan and flatten a bit with your spatula. Let cook over medium heat until lightly browned. Flip over and cook till the other side is browned. (I some times use sea food seasoning) Serve immediately.

High-Brow:

(I am going to a play tonight, I am after all a man with well know taste and style.)

On Football and Fist Fights:

Thought for the Day:
If we can connect in some tiny way with a human that doesn't agree with us, then maybe we won't blow up the planet.
Nancy White,

Super Bowl 07:

I would like to start off by congratulating the Indianapolis Colts.

Now my weekend: The theme for the weekend was set by my loving wife who called me Friday evening on her way home to say she could no longer turn her truck and that the volt meter was at zero. Luckily she was able to pull into a garage. It turns out her power steering pump blew-up and when it did so it soaked the serpentine belt. This of course cost money, something I don’t have any of. However, the credit card I had worked hard to pay off came in handy.

Saturday, I spent obsessing over my home in Indiana. It has been below zero and all I could think of was my pipes freezing and breaking flooding the house taking down the ceilings and ruining the walls. Gladly through the graces of a friend, who went and turned the water on, turned up the heat and opened the cupboard doors, it was a problem solved.

Which takes me to Sunday, My Flower and I got invited to a Super Bowl Party and we went.

After hearing the guest list, I told my loving wife, “…this sounds like t-r-o-u-b-l-e, should we just stay home?” She said “nah’ let’s go.” …and go we did and that dear friends is where the worm turned for me.

I got there, bringing a very large London broil that I had been marinating since Friday. Had a few beers and then trouble showed up.

A gentlemen who was more than a little drunk arrived. He proceeded to pick a fight with me, from the pre-game show till about the end of the first quarter, saying smart ass things, to which I responded in kind.

Then at the behest of our host I changed tactics, for every snide comment and all out verbal attack I replied with “I love you”. Yes dear reader it was a WWJD moment, sadly Our Lord’s example was short lived.

I can take a lot of shit, but there comes a line that when crossed…well let me go on with my story.

Before half time, I was sitting on the patio (it was in the low 70’s after all), enjoying a commercial, when this wayward soul somehow got it in his mind that slapping me in the face would be a good idea. Not once, not twice but three times. Now when I say slapping think of a Ike to Tina moment. Yes, bitch slapped, now you might not know this but I am a lot of things, but being a bitch is not one of them.

I asked this lost soul to refrain from doing that again at which point he slapped me a forth time. A there was his error. You see since I was still sitting he had to reach across the table to hit me.

When you reach across a table you are off balance and exposed. Two things I used to my advantage. I reached out and grabbed his balls. Grabbed and twisted might be a better description. I wanted the boy’s attention. While doing that I got up out of my chair (in one fluid moment, pardon the pun) and picked him up by his nuts, forcing him into a stone pillar.

So, there I was holding a very surprised fellow about six inches in the air by his nut sack. At this point I since I had his undivided attention, I decided to talk to him. Which was hard, since he had me by the throat. I told him, that today was not a good day to fuck with me, I told him about not being able to find a job, about my Loving wife’s truck breaking down three times in the past 6 weeks, about my truck breaking down, about not having and money, in short, I told he that this isn’t a good time for me, to please stop.

All while twisting his nut sack has hard as I could. It was at this point he made a tactical error. He used his thumb to get in behind my voice box. Not the de-escalation I had been hoping for, but a step-up. So, I head butted him as hard as I could.

Dear reader, I am told by others present, you could hear his nose snap and snap it did, and bleed he did. I let him down. He said “fuck you, I am going to kill you etc…” …so, I stepped of the patio. Took off my shirt (white, heavy starched, banded neck) and invited him to a contest of pugilism, granted the blood made it hard for him to focus.

It was at this point he perhaps had his first smart thought of the day, he said “fuck-you, I don’t like you, you’re an asshole, you are not worth fighting”, and he spit on me. Yes, spit, now often for me that is a bit of a red flag, but given the situation, I realized that’s all the boy had, giving him some dignity, I allowed it to pass. I think being covered in his own blood un-nerved him. He took that moment to leave.

Brothers and sisters, I lost my temper and that is what troubled me. I was angry; My Flower said she has only seen that once before. It is a part of me I don’t like and I was able to channel it. I don’t like it because it feels good; it feels good to let the rage go. To tap into that power, it truly is like becoming the Incredible Hulk, if only for a moment. I don’t like that man I became, I don’t like that dark part that I know all to well exists within me, but there I was. Was it a win, yes… but for me it was a loss, I shouldn’t have gone, I knew it was going to be a bad deal, I called it before we ever got there, but I went.

So, today I wake-up, and find myself with bruising around my neck and a scab on my forehead. Not exactly what I want to project for a job interview that I have scheduled today, so I am canceling it. I am looking and feeling my very best, in a lot of ways.

…and that dear reader is how Little Kevin was lost to me, heal well Kevin the Cosmonaut.

Since I am an ass:
http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/watch/8722

Today’s Bill:
"Oh, I am fortune's fool!"
From Romeo and Juliet (III, i, 141)

Quote of the Day:
The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.
Friedrich Nietzsche

I remain, knowing what evil lurks in the hearts of men, like the Shadow:

JQP

Go Colts! Knock the Sausage outa ‘em!

A repost by request, for your enjoyment over Super Bowl weekend:

JQP’s Buffalo Chili: (TM pending)

1 1/2 lbs Buffalo
1 (29 ounce) can tomato sauce or V-8
1 (29 ounce) can kidney beans (drained)
1 (29 ounce) can pinto beans (drained)
1 (29 ounce) can of Black Beans (not drained)
1 onion (1 large red onion)
1 diced Habanero pepper
6 diced Hungarian Wax peppers
1/4 cup wild rice
6 medium Roma tomatoes, chopped
2 teaspoons cumin powder
3 tablespoons chili powder
3 tablespoons coca powder
4 shots of cheap rye whisky
1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper
2 teaspoons salt
2 cups water
1 tablespoon of Allspice
1 bottle of dark beer
¼ cup cane sugar

Cut the buffalo (you can use any meat) up into small bits and pieces, toss in the beer, peppers, sugar, and onions cook on med. heat stirring often, until your eyes start to tear-up, then add all the rest. Cook all day on low heat stirring every now and then (I often drink the other 5 beers left over from the six pack), about two hours after it started smelling like some damn good chili, its done. With this recipe you will win first prize at the State Fair just like me.

So, what ya'll making?

JQP

Can’t Keep a Good Man Down:

(A photo of one of the many medals I was awarded during my years of service of this great nation. Brothers and sisters, long may the flag of freedom wave.)


Thought for the Day:
When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion. C. P. Snow

Random Thoughts on a No-Love-Thursday:
I am loving the Scooter Libby trial, reminds me of that good old nut-job Lt. Col. North.
I have had an interview every day this week.
My Flower said that now they will all want me and make offers at the same time.
I don’t care, which ever one I go with, I will make it work.
Lil’ Kevin wants me to go to the FDR Open today to hang with Grandpa Bush, he has free passes.
I am passing.
I am feeling human again, kidney stones kicked my ass.
We are planning on staying in this weekend.
The Colts will win.
Butchie, Elmo and Nolff are like a venereal disease to Right Wing Bloggers. Moonbats unite!
Who comes up with shit like moonbat and asshat, like is there a two syllable rule or something?
People really don’t celebrate NLT anymore.
Molly Ivans died, she kicked ass.
I have a crush on Sarah Silverman.
Lows below zero back in Indiana, should be in the 70’s here next week.
I dreamt about breaded pork tenderloin sandwiches with German mustard, pickles and onions.

Todays Bill:
"I go, and it is done; the bell invites me.Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knellThat summons thee to heaven or to hell."
--From Macbeth (II, i, 62-64)

Quote of the Day:
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Martin Luther King Jr.

I remain a ray of f’ing sunshine in your dark, dark world:

JQP