On Vampire Loving and other thoughts on Menses:

Der Menstruationszyklus: Die drei Phasen des Menstruationszyklus I

In medizinischen Lehrbüchern wird der Menstruationszyklus in zwei, drei, vier oder mehr Phasen eingeteilt. An dieser Stelle scheint eine Einteilung in drei Phasen ausreichend:



Now that the class room discussion is out of the way, a few thought on visits from Auntie Flow and midnight rides on the cotton pony…

Why is it that women seem to forget that they have periods? I am not talking about accidents I am talking about:

“Gee, I have a headache and I don’t know why”

“I am bloated, must be all the (fill in the blank) I ate and/or drank”

“Why is my skin so bad?"

"I hate (fill in the blank) followed by tears.”

“My boobs are sore!”

"Oh, My God! Where did all this blood come from!!!"

" You bastard what did you do to me!!!"

Hello, I can tell you why, because you going to start your rag!
Yes, I keep track, since you dont. Hell, I even graph it, so guess what it doesn’t surprise every month.

Of late, I am thinking about keeping a box of tampons and some of those hospital issued pads on hand, you know why? Cause it doesn’t surprise me and I am tired of some woman saying quietlt "I started and I dont have any pads."

Hell, I do a whole lot better in predicting menses than Notre Dame winning seasons. rest assured, if I or anyother guy, got the shits for a week every month we would put a little bit of planning into it.

I remain the sensitive male you have all grown to know and love:

JQP