Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

Ok, I am a Prick Today:

Ok, why the shitty mood? Well, since I was called into my boss’s office this morning and asked “what’s going on, you are not your usual cheerful self,” I have been a bit sour. Since when did they pay me to be fucking cheerful? Being cheerful in this line of work is a lot like being a stand-up comic at a funeral home (not very effective and over-all just plan fucking annoying).

And about being in a bad mood, you ever notice that you can’t tell your in a bad mood until your around others? I can be doing my own thing, minding my own business and boom the minute I am around someone, I can tell very easily that I am in a bad mood, has my thoughts go to the plastic tarp in the trunk of my car.

Reasons for my less than pleasant mood? Well, today’s top of the list, I am sick and have been for a few weeks now and hanging out at fucking hospitals and doctors offices really just brightens my fucking day, how about yours?

You ever notice how they get shitty if you call and say you’re going to be 15 mins. late for an appointment, but they have no problem keeping you waiting 45 mins. to an hour?

Work, well up to my elbows in it, nothing like having to work long hours when you feel like shit. That and I have a friend who has me involved in a case that is turning into the case from hell. Oh and let’s not forget the holidays, and this being kind to my kidneys thing I am doing…no fucking wonder I am not in good mood.

Plus side, I am doing the Mr Mom thing big time, dishes, laundry, sweeping, dusting, baking. Anything to keep from going nuts. That and I find that if I don’t do something when I am sick I just get depressed.

TV, ok yesterday I had time to watch TV….130 sum channels and not one fucking thing on. God-Damn…and if thats not enough Bush is still running things.

Next weekend its work to the boat time. The bath is off until after Christmas.

Other than that, I hope everyone is having a great week!

A ray of F'ing sunshine

Word of the Day:

crunk:

1. To some it means to be 'crazy' and 'drunk' at the same time. Used mainly in the East Coast, but very rarely in the dirty south.

2. A state of high excitement, or rowdiness. Can be associated with anger, happiness, fun, etc but has to be when you are excited.

3. A word signifying something is very cool in nature. Used widely in the dirty south along with def. #2.

4. A great style of rap music originating in the dirty south. Characterized by heavy bass and a pumping people up. Before this term was used, there wasn’t a specific term for southern rap, besides 'southern rap' and sometimes 'screwed and chopped'.

1."Hey son, I say ya girl at da party yersterday, and dat bitch was crunk! She was takin her shirt off! hahaha!"

2a."My principal got all crunk on me when I mooned the mothafucka! I don't know what he was tripping for!"
2b."Everybody at Rob's party was crunk! People were starting to throw bows everywhere!]
2c. "Don't make me get crunk on you young man."

3."That new G-wagon my neigbor bought is crunk as hell! It's his third one this week!"

4a. "The Kings of Crunk CD is even better screwed and chopped. I bought a bootleg version with a bunch of remixes on it."
4b. Artists such as Lil Jon, Lil Scrappy, Crime Mob, Ying Yang Twins, etc. Though they tend to be mostly club songs, they are still very tight to just listen to. But nothing beats dancing to it with a fine ass shawty.

Today’s Bill:

Winter

When icicles hang by the wall
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail,
When Blood is nipped and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
Tu-who;
Tu-whit, tu-who: a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

When all aloud the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson's saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian's nose looks red and raw
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
Tu-who;
Tu-whit, tu-who: a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

William Shakespeare

Quote of the Day:

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

Note:
Taking a bit of time to mend my health, at least I am not on the road.

I remain,

JQP

Monday, November 29, 2004

Poet-Sage for the week of the 29th

DANG ME
Boo-woo Boop boop boop boop boo -ba-oo-ba boo boo bow
Ba-boo-ba bam...
Ba-bye-oo ba ba ba ba - by-oo boo boo bow

Well here I sit-a high, gettin' ideas
Ain't nothing but a fool would live like this
Out all night and runnin' wild
Woman sittin' home with a month old child

Dang me, dang me
They oughta take a rope and hang me
High from the highest tree
Woman would you weep for me

Just settin' around drinkin' with the rest of the guys
Six rounds we bought, and I bought five
Spent the groceries and half the rent
I lack fourteen dollars havin' twenty seven cents

Dang me, dang me
They oughta take a rope and hang me
High from the highest tree
Woman would you weep for me

They say roses are red and violets are purple
Sugar's sweet and so's maple surple
And I'm the seventh out of seven sons
My pappy was a pistol
I'm a son of a gun.

Dang me, dang me
They oughta take a rope and hang me
High from the highest tree
Woman would you weep for me

Roger Miller

Friday, November 26, 2004

The shell fire has just stoped

Thought for the day:
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain

Dispatch from the Front:
Pheasant hunting (or has I prefer to call it walking around freezing your ass off at dawn, trying not to get shot in the face) with my brother is how I rounded out the JQP family experience of Thanksgiving. The food was good, no one cussed at anyone else (well no more than normal and then it was over football and/or Bush), there were no fights, no one got arrested, and over 79 children under the age of 16 were in attendance (it’s a family of breeders), it always good to spend time with ones family and even better to hop in the car for the long trip home.

However home (and isnt home someplace we all search for) is just a brief respite, since the second leg of the trip starts tomorrow, the sweet and strong Mrs. John Q. Public and I will be traveling to the icy waste lands of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, where we will spend time with her primitive tribal people. I am told that once again if I am there early enough I will be included in their yearly dog hunt (an animal they find quite tasty).

On Self-Discipline:
My kidneys have been getting away with way to much shit, or so I am told by the Bold and Adventurous Mrs. John Q. Public, we are going to take them out and punish them. It seems some old friends from Alaska just rolled back into town and want to go on an early “Fall-Down”, so we are off this afternoon for a day of seedy bars and desperate people.

Noted: It has been nice to wake-up just feeling like normal shit and having a few more dollars in my wallet.

Joke of the Day:
Three mice are sitting at a bar after the funeral of a fellow mouse, killed by an 80-year-old lady with a broom, trying to impress each other about how much tougher they are. The Ohio mouse throws down a shot of bourbon, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the Michigan mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The Michigan mouse orders up two shots of tequila, drinks them down one after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the Ohio mouse and replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

They both turn to the Hoosier mouse. The Hoosier mouse finishes the beer and double shot he has in front of him, lets out a long sigh and says to the two, "I don't have time for you two’s bull shit". I gotta go home and fuck the cat."

All my best to you and yours on this cold holiday weekend, I remain:

JQP

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Piss on working a full Day


Today’s Wine:
Large libations-Raise a glass – 1,200 of them to be exact – to New Jersey, new home to the world’s largest bottle of wine. A Tenafly, N.J., business paid $55,812 for a 4 1/2 -foot tall bottle of cabernet sold Saturday at Sotheby’s, said auction house spokeswoman Kristin Gelder. Wine Ventures, a wine and chocolate shop, plans to put the bottle on display at its Bergen County business. The 340-pound bottle was the work of master glass blowers in the Czech Republic, and holds the equivalent of 173 standard bottles of Beringer Vineyards 2001 Private Reserve Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. That translates to 1,200 glasses of wine. The bottle, dubbed Maximus, was certified as the world’s largest by the Guinness World Records. The Morton’s steakhouse chain, to celebrate its 25th anniversary, partnered with Beringer to create the record-setting bottle of wine. It was also reported that it took 258 Czech women 9 days to stomp the grapes used in the wine said Dulia Polanski "my feet are still blue but my ingrown toes nails are no longer a problem." –The Associated Press

Pot in the News:
Souder urges court to halt medical ‘pot’
WASHINGTON – A case before the Supreme Court next week will likely determine whether marijuana can legally be used as a medicine, and Rep. Mark Souder, R-3rd, has offered the justices a raft of arguments why states should be barred from allowing medicinal uses of “pot.” Souder and Hoosier Rep. Dan Burton, R-5th, with five other Republican lawmakers, filed a friend-of-the-court brief that says medical marijuana laws – approved by voters in 10 states – is not a states’ rights issue and that allowing the medicinal use of marijuana leads to state and local law enforcement agencies becoming “increasingly hostile to federal drug policies” and communities “becom(ing) economically dependent on the drug.” The case involves the seizure of marijuana plants grown by two California women who use marijuana to alleviate severe pain. Medical marijuana is legal in California. Souder while taking a break from his cause to have the state of Indiana’s capital renamed Regeanapolis, told reporters that between this and renaming I-69 he has been to busy to act on intelligence reform legislation. Souder is a close personal friend of Governor-Elect Mitch Daniels and received large campaign contributions from Indiana based Eli Lilly.

Book of the Day:
New book tackles taboo questions
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – Why do so many senior citizens drive such big cars? What do people who have been blind since birth “see” in their dreams? Why can a black man look good in a purple suit, while a white guy would look like a total dork? Questions like these, which may be too politically incorrect to be uttered out loud, have found a place amid the anonymity of the Internet. And Phillip J. Milano believes the site he started – Y? The National Forum on People’s Differences – can actually help bridge the gaps that divide people by race, religion and background. “Sooner or later, we have to find a way to talk about these things,” said Milano, whose seven-year-old Web site has topped 10 million hits and spawned a new book, “I Can’t Believe You Asked That! A No-Holds-Barred Q&A About Race, Sex, Religion and Other Terrifying Topics,” published by Perigee. On his Web site, yforum.com, people are free to post questions and reply on a variety of sometime sensitive topics. The book, on the other hand, gets real experts to address such questions such as: Are white people more sexually perverse than those of other races? Milano, who is white, wrote his first book, “Why Do White People Smell Like Wet Dogs When They Come in Out of the Rain?” in 1999 and it was based on questions and answers on his Web site. (The book gets its title from a phenomenon some black readers claimed to have noticed; the book could not confirm the observation, and noted that human perception of smell is subjective.)

Saint of the Day:
St. Chrysogonus; Feastday: November 24
St. Chrysogonus Martyr November 24 Fifth century The name of this holy martyr, who was apprehended at Rome, but beheaded at Aquileia in the persecution of Dioclesian, occurs in the canon of the mass, and is mentioned in the ancient Calendar of Carthage of the fifth century, and in all Western Martyrologies since that time. The church in Rome of which he is titular saint, is mentioned in a council held by pope Symmachus, and in the epistles of St. Gregory the Great; it gives title to a cardinal priest. The head of St. Chrysogonus is shown there in a rich case, but his body is at Venice.

Mental Disease and/or defect of the Day:
Histrionic Personality Disorder
A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1) is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
2) displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
3)) is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
4) considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

Bar Trick of the Day:
DRINK A SHOT FROM AN UNOPENED BOTTLE
Tell a bar guest that you can drink a shot from an unopened bottle of B & B!
Here's how its done: Simply turn your bottle of B & B upside down and pour a shot into the bottom of the bottle, and drink it. You have fulfilled your end of the bargain - you have taken a shot directly from the unopened bottle.

Poem of the Day:

When everything was fine
And the notion of sin had vanished
And the earth was ready
In universal peace
To consume and rejoice
Without creeds and utopias,

I, for unknown reasons,
Surrounded by the books
Of prophets and theologians,
Of philosophers, poets,
Searched for an answer,
Scowling, grimacing,
Waking up at night, muttering at dawn.

What oppressed me so much
Was a bit shameful.
Talking of it aloud
Would show neither tact nor prudence.
It might even seem an outrage
Against the health of mankind.

Alas, my memory
Does not want to leave me
And in it, live beings
Each with its own pain,
Each with its own dying,
Its own trepidation.

Why then innocence
On paradisal beaches,
An impeccable sky
Over the church of hygiene?
Is it because that
Was long ago?

To a saintly man
--So goes an Arab tale--
God said somewhat maliciously:
"Had I revealed to people
How great a sinner you are,
They could not praise you."

"And I," answered the pious one,
"Had I unveiled to them
How merciful you are,
They would not care for you."

To whom should I turn
With that affair so dark
Of pain and also guilt
In the structure of the world,
If either here below
Or over there on high
No power can abolish
The cause and the effect?

Don't think, don't remember
The death on the cross,
Though everyday He dies,
The only one, all-loving,
Who without any need
Consented and allowed
To exist all that is,
Including nails of torture.

Totally enigmatic.
Impossibly intricate.
Better to stop speech here.
This language is not for people.
Blessed be jubilation.
Vintages and harvests.
Even if not everyone
Is granted serenity.

Berkeley

Cocktail of the Day:
Skip & Go Naked
Chill and Stain in 7 oz. Rocks Glass
Ingredients:
1 oz. Gin
Splash of Cranberry
Splash of Orange Juice
Dash of Grenadine
Splash of Beer

Word of the Day:
Haberwaaa:
Haberwaaa can be an expression of: a) Extreme joy (NOTE: several "haber"s can come before the "waaa" giving the expression more emphasis.) b) Dislike, disdain, disgust
Example joy: "We are going to Disney World! Habe- haberwaaa!"
Example dislike: "Look at that obese tub of lard! Haberwaaa!"

Phrase of the Day:
Break her off somethin' proper: Verb; To sexually satisfy.

Today’s Bill:
His life was gentle; and the elements
So mixed in him, that Nature might stand up,
And say to all the world, THIS WAS A MAN!
William Shakespeare
Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 – 1616)

Quote of the Day:
The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.
Thomas Carlyle
Scottish author, essayist, & historian (1795 - 1881)

Editors Note:
Due to the use of flex-time and the large amounts of travel, sports, cooking and spending time with eccentric family members this site will be up-dated infrequently at best for the next few days, that and I am working on my novel. I wish you and yours all the joy and happiness that you deserve this holiday session, Cheers!

Champagne wishes and Caviar Dreams, I remain:

JQP

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

The Point of the Spear

On How My Days at Work Go:
I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes he or she can bring to bear on the same topic. Lisa Alther, Kinflicks, 1975. Kind of sums it up, doesn’t it?

On Work Life Separation:
I was at a meeting last night and someone asked me “how do you do your work and not take it home with you” Its an easy answer, you don’t, the shit is always with you, and yes it will eat your insides up, if you let it. However you can get callous to it, I had a good friend who gave me a good rule of thumb, that if you ever go two weeks without getting really pissed off or hurt by something you see on the job, it’s a good time to leave. All these years and I am still waiting to get past four days.

On my plans for the Day:
I am on the road most of today; I should ask Mitch if I could borrow his RV. I get to see more of the great state of Indiana than anyone should have to. But, I can tell you where to go to eat in 53 counites and who has the best pie.

On Birds:
I am picking up some poultry (ducks and geese) from a friend who raises these birds “free-range” in Benton Co. He assures my they will be dead and dressed but I am taking other clothes just in case.

On cooking:
Ok, I am now cooking for Thanksgiving; I will be making Sweet Potato Pie (6 of them). But, that’s it. However, I did get a recipe from a friend down in Mississippi for chicken marinated for two days in sweet tea and four lemons, with one diced large onion and two tea spoons of salt, then grilled. So, it sounds like good tailgate food along with Cuban Sandwiches (I have been starving for them).

On Map Maker:
Like Politicians or members of Bush’s Cabinet, don’t trust Mapmaker. You think it will take you where you want to go, but damn once your there. …enough said.

On Sports:
Just when I was about ready to give up; South Carolina and Clemson, both said they would not play in any Bowl games, due to how their players acted last Saturday. Lou said no matter what, he would not coach them. It's one of those good reminders of what it means to be a Southerner. Damn, that’s a lesson for all of us; they are taking it on the chin. My foul, coach.

On lost Souls:
Two searches that brought people to my shores this morning:

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=articles+steamy+hot+booty&ei=UTF-8&fl=0&xargs=0&pstart=1&fr=FP-tab-web-t&b=691

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=lifestyle+and+roles+living+in+the+trenchs&sp=1&toggle=1&ei=UTF-8&fr=FP-tab-web-t&SpellState=n-2

On learning a foreign language as an Adult:
Taking up tight-wire walking or professional wrestling is easier. As an adult, I find that for me some things I can read and write easy and some things I can pronounce easy, but when you combine those two forms of communication the results are less than satisfactory. Don’t believe me; try writing every third word when you chatting with a friend.

Doing my Duty, Like a Good Soldier

JQP

The News and Views:

Today’s News:

Annual ranking put Gary fifth on the list; Detroit moved to second.
TRENTON, N.J. — Camden has been named the nation’s most dangerous city, snatching the top spot from Detroit, according to a company’s annual ranking based on crime statistics. Officials in Camden, which was ranked third last year, downplayed the dubious designation Sunday, saying many steps have already been taken to reduce crime in the city. “We must give our people jobs, training and opportunity,” said City Councilman Ali Sloan-El, who pointed out that Camden’s poverty is an important contributing factor to its high crime rate. Atlanta, St. Louis and Gary rounded out the top five in the most dangerous city rankings, which was to be released today by Morgan Quitno Corp. Detroit fell to second in this year’s list. The rankings look at the rate for six crime categories: Murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary and auto theft. It compares 350 cities with populations of 75,000 or more that reported crime data to the FBI. Final 2003 statistics, released by the FBI in October, were used to determine the rankings.
The Star today reported that Gov. Elect Mitch Daniels said that "Once again Indiana slips in national poles, it will not happen on my watch. "

Dioceses’ self-reporting of sexual abuse by clergy will work, bishop says.
Simplifying the reporting process for sex-abuse audits at U.S. Catholic churches makes sense, especially for this diocese and others that have not had abuse problems, local Bishop John M. D’Arcy said. U.S. Catholic bishops voted Wednesday at their fall meeting in Washington, D.C., to switch to a less demanding, self-reporting audit process in future years. D’Arcy, clergy leader of the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend, supported the change during discussions at the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops meeting, which ended Thursday.
Oh, yes I am sure the self reporting thing will work just about as well has it has for the past 50 years.

Trust me they say…ummm. Bullshit, the law is the law, let just enforce it!

Roller kills worker:
GREENSBURG — A state construction inspector standing near a highway work zone was killed Thursday when an asphalt roller lurched forward, crushing her. Two other state transportation employees standing nearby dodged the roller, but were unable to rescue Joyce E. Williams, 43, of Edinburgh. Williams was standing about five feet from the roller when it suddenly accelerated and crushed her on Indiana 46 about seven miles west of Greensburg.

Man you think your job sucks! What a fucking way to go.

Rice surgery uses newer technique
Condoleezza Rice, the secretary of state-designate, is undergoing a minimally invasive U.S. Secretary of State nominee Condoleezza Rice will undergo a medical procedure today for benign uterine fibroid tumors. By opting for a less invasive procedure that shrinks the tumors by blocking their blood supply, experts say, she will bring greater awareness to the technique, which is used less than 10 percent of the time to treat such noncancerous tumors.

You know I always wondered, she did look a little pinched didn’t she?

Parents hit school for giving knife back to son
The parents of a Geyer Middle School student want to know why school officials didn’t notify them last week when staff members confiscated a switchblade from their son and why the knife was returned to the boy after school. After school, another student reported that the 14-year-old had a knife on a school bus after a chess team meeting. The boy was later arrested on juvenile charges of criminal recklessness and possession of a switchblade after another boy complained the student threatened him. One teacher was reported as saying, “Hey, this is a bad part of town and we have had a history of problems with the chess team and the math club. It’s not something we want to get in between.”

Exposure report: Urinating on sidewalk
Fort Wayne police said they were investigating a report of indecent exposure at a house on South Calhoun Street on Saturday. A woman walking past a house in the 4100 block of South Calhoun Street just after noon saw a man standing on the front porch with his shirt up to his chest and his pants below his knees, urinating on the sidewalk, a police report said. This was the sixth time police had responded to a complant at this address.

Gee, which one would I follow-up on, a guy pissing or a kid with a knife.


Oldest bank robber, 92, dies in prison’s hospital
DALLAS – J.L. Hunter “Red” Rountree, the nation’s oldest known bank robber, who turned to crime in his 80s and said the robberies made him feel good for days afterward, died in a prison hospital. He was 92. He was quoted as saying: “Maybe next time one of you young people will think about that when you say hurry up old man, that old man just might be packing some heat.” Police caught up with Rountree after a walker left at a robery was traced back to him through Medicare billing.

Conservative spending:
Well, if you are a strong conservative who voted for President Bush, here is why you were holding your nose, in case you had forgotten: Congress has sent President Bush an $800 billion boost in the federal borrowing limit, pumping the borrowing cap to $8.18 trillion, 70 percent of the entire size of the U.S. economy. “The president commends the Congress,” said a statement from the White House.

It’s clear that “conservative” no longer means “limited government” in Washington these days, and that “conservative Republican” should be enshrined as the latest oxymoron. For all you supporters of John Kerry, this is probably one reason to prefer his presidency that wasn’t on your list. With a Republican Congress and Kerry in the White House, gridlock might have been the result, a temporary condition that’s probably the best fiscal conservatives could ever hope for these days.

Sex in Today’s News:

Porn in the Cross Hairs
Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to clinicians and researchers testifying before a Senate committee Thursday. Witnesses before the Senate Commerce Committee's Science, Technology and Space Subcommittee spared no superlative in their description of the negative effects of pornography. Jeffrey Satinover, a psychiatrist and advisor to the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality echoed Subcommittee's concern about the internet and the somatic effects of pornography. “If they look at porn people will lose morals thus making it easyer for them to be tempted into such things as race mixing and homsexuallity. Sexual behavor between two different sex married adults should never involve pictures, let alone be talked about. The goal of sex is to create good strong healthly babies.

Arrest for the Sake of his Art
MILFORD, Conn. — Some people are willing to go to jail for the sake of art. Police in Slidell, La., charged a 33-year-old man with criminal mischief earlier this month after a security camera caught him walking around fully nude at a shopping mall, reports the New Orleans Times-Picayune. The North Shore Square mall's (search) security guards spotted Rev. Shawn Boylan standing in front of the box-office window at the Cinema 6 as if he was buying a ticket. Normal enough, except for the fact that it was 3:30 a.m. and Boylan was stark naked. By the time the cops came, Rev. Boylan was pulling on his pants. The resident of nearby Lacombe explained that he was simply taking a photograph of himself nude in a public place, something he did often. Sure enough, there was a digital still camera mounted on a tripod at the scene. Police yanked out the memory card and issued him a summons on the spot. "The officers should have taken a picture of him being cited so he could add that to his collection as well," Slidell police Capt. Rob Callahan told the newspaper. Rev. Boylan could not be reached for comment at the Holy Family Christian Care Prayer Center.

Delta Air Lines In Court After Sex Toy Incident
ATLANTA -- The case of the airline passenger and the sex toy will be heard Friday in federal appeals court in Atlanta. Renee Koutsouradis was on a Delta Air Lines jet awaiting takeoff in Dallas when she was taken off the plane because something was buzzing in her luggage. She told a Delta security agent it was likely a sex toy, which she and her husband had just bought during a trip to Las Vegas. The woman said she was ordered to take the vibrator out of the bag, hold it up and remove the batteries in full view of some of the other passengers. She also claimed a Delta baggage handler licked his lips and made sexually inappropriate comments. Her lawsuit against the Atlanta-based airline claims she has suffered nightmares and panic attacks because of Delta's handling of the vibrator incident. A lower court judge dismissed the case.

Hey, I saw pictures and at 18 inchs long I would have been scared if she pulled it out sitting next to me in business class. Flyer miles be damned.

Today’s Poem:

To the Poor
CHILD of distress, who meet'st the bitter scorn
Of fellow-men to happier prospects born,
Doomed Art and Nature's various stores to see
Flow in full cups of joy, -- and not for thee;
Who seest the rich, to heaven and fate resigned,
Bear thy afflictions with a patient mind;
Whose bursting heart disdains unjust control,
Who feel'st oppression's iron in thy soul,
Who dragg'st the load of faint and feeble years,
Whose bread is anguish, and whose water tears;
Bear, bear thy wrongs--fulfill thy destined hour,
Bend thy meek neck beneath the foot of Power;
But when thou feel'st the great deliverer nigh,
And thy freed spirit mounting seeks the sky,
Let no vain fears thy parting hour molest,
No whispered terrors shake thy quiet breast:
Think not their threats can work thy future woe.
Nor deem the Lord above like lords below;
Safe in the bosom of that love repose
By whom the sun gives light, the ocean flows;
Prepare to meet a Father undismayed,
Nor fear the God whom priests and kings have made.

Anna Letitia Barbauld

Mental Illness and/or Defect of the Day:
Schizotypal Personality: A pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1 ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference)
2 odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is
3 inconsistent with subcultural norms (e.g., superstitiousness, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, or "sixth sense"; in children and adolescents, bizarre fantasies or preoccupations)
4 unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions
5 odd thinking and speech (e.g., vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, overelaborate, or stereotyped)
6 suspiciousness or paranoid ideation
7 inappropriate or constricted affect
8 behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar
9 lack of close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
10 excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self

Does not occur exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features, another Psychotic Disorder, or a Pervasive Developmental Disorder.
The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.

Today’s Bar Trick:
THE BOTTLE ROCKET TRICK
Get an empty bottle of Stoly Vodka . Using hot water, warm the outside bottom of the bottle -- making sure not to get any water in it. Take a straw & insert a toothpick into it about 1" down from the top (making it look like a giant " t "). Now, put the long end of the straw into the bottle. Ask a bar guest if they can remove the straw without touching the bottle or the straw with any part of the body, and without using an object to knock over the bottle or pull out the straw. Here's how its done: Light a match, drop it in and stand clear. ( Make sure not to have the straw facing anybody ) You'll be amazed! The effect should be: The straw shooting out of the bottle about 20' in the air. PLEASE USE CAUTION with this trick. This is also fun at Wakes and Bar Mitzvahs.

Joke of the Day:
This guy walks into a bar over in Ohio and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says, "You ain't from around here. Where you from, boy?"

The guy says, "I'm from Indianapolis."
The bartender asks, "What do you do up in Indianapolis?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... what in thee Hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, "It's OK fellers, he's one of us!"

Today’s New Word:
Aberzombie: Noun; Young men and women and/or gay men past the age of 50 years old who in an effort to feel good, cool, hip or in some cases to feel young, resort to wearing layer upon layer outlet store Abercrombie clothing. In the 1990’s the same creature could be observed wearing objects from the Tommy Hilfiger line. “Don't look now but here comes an aberzombie”


Today’s Greek Mythology:
Iakchos ( Iacchus )
Minor Greek deity associated with the Eleusinian Mysteries. He was considered the son of Demeter or Persephone. Possibly the husband of Demeter. In the mysteries, his name was invoked in connection with those of Demeter and Persephone. Some believe Iakchos to be identical with Dionysos (as Bacchus) or Zagreus. He was depicted bearing a torch and leading the participants in the mysteries.

Today’s Phrase:
Ballin' out of control: Ballin' refers to making a lot of money. The origin comes from selling "balls" of crack cocaine. A "ball" of crack is larger than a "rock" but smaller than a "boulder." A "baller" is one who sells "balls," and consequently is bringing in "hella scrills." "He jus' be ballin' out of control since he started workin' for his self."

Today’s Bill:
SONNET 123
No, Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change:
Thy pyramids built up with newer might
To me are nothing novel, nothing strange;
They are but dressings of a former sight.
Our dates are brief, and therefore we admire
What thou dost foist upon us that is old,
And rather make them born to our desire
Than think that we before have heard them told.
Thy registers and thee I both defy,
Not wondering at the present nor the past,
For thy records and what we see doth lie,
Made more or less by thy continual haste.
This I do vow and this shall ever be;
I will be true, despite thy scythe and thee.

Quote of the Day:
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146
German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

Dei delitti a delle pene, I remain:

JQP

Monday, November 22, 2004

The News and Weekend Review

News:

5 dead, 3 hurt after tree stand hunting dispute
Associated Press
HAYWARD, Wis. – A dispute among deer hunters over a tree stand in northwest Wisconsin erupted Sunday in a shooting that left five people dead and three injured, officials said. The alleged gunman was arrested Sunday afternoon at the line between Rusk and Sawyer counties, according to Sawyer County sheriff’s officials.

The violence began after a hunting party saw a hunter occupying their tree stand, Sawyer County Chief Deputy Tim Zeigle told KSTP-TV of St. Paul, Minn. The shootings occurred in the town of Meteor in southwest Sawyer County, Sheriff James Meier said in a written statement. Three people were taken to a local hospital, Meier said. One victim was in critical condition at a Marshfield hospital, a nursing supervisor said. KSTP reported that the others wounded were being treated at a Rice Lake, Wis., hospital, where one was in critical condition and the other was in fair condition. Wisconsin’s 9-day deer gun hunting season started Saturday.

Wow, am I glad I turned down the offer of going hunting this weekend.

Law and Order-Livid librarians
Keeping library books too long could soon land some readers in jail. Frustrated librarians in Bay City, Mich., want the worst offenders to face criminal charges and up to 90 days behind bars. “We want to go after some of the people who owe us a lot of money,” said Frederick J. Paffhausen, the library’s system director. “We want to set an example.”
Paffhausen is asking the Bay County Library Board for permission to seek arrest warrants for offenders who ignore repeated notices. The board plans to consider the crackdown next month. One patron from Bad Axe owes $1,190 for 73 items – mainly science-fiction books – hoarded for more than a year, Paffhausen said. Patrons keep an average of $25,000 in overdue materials out of the library system each year, officials said.

Paffhausen also asked City Council for $1,200 dollars to equip library staff with stun guns. Justifying this by saying “Speaking in tones louder than a whisper is unacceptable and against the rules, patrons should only have to warned once.”

Video game to recreate JFK’s killing
Associated Press
GLASGOW, Scotland – A British company said Sunday it is releasing a video game recreating the 1963 assassination of President Kennedy. The Glasgow-based firm Traffic said “JFK Reloaded” is an educational “docu-game” that would help disprove conspiracy theories about Kennedy’s death.

Just in time for Christmas the company plans to roll out “Concentration Camps Revisited” and “Pol-Pot Man of Vision” where the players will be responsible for managing high quota’s of extermination, the programs are loosely based on of the popular Sim-City game series.

Police interrogate, arrest antique shop robbery suspect
A Fort Wayne man was arrested last week after he told police that he robbed a Broadway antique shop, court records said. Michael H. Wagner II, 24, also known as Ben Dover and Dick Bush, was formally charged Thursday with robbery. The subject was quickly apprehended in the downtown area. Police report he was easy to identify due to the WW I army helmet he was wearing and the Brass head board he was carrying. All the items stolen were recovered.

On the Holidays:
Different directions and a lot of road time for us this year but the food promises to be good. It’s funny how different parts of the country eat and celebrate holidays in different ways. Thanksgiving is not as noticeable as Christmas, but there are differences. Example: Tuesday I am going to pick-up two ducks and two geese, in the mid-west it seems turkey and hams are the norm. I won’t even address eating lamb with mint jelly on Easter. Can you tell I am hungry this morning?

On work:
You know sometimes I think everyone who is nuts saves it up for when I am on-call, truth be known it wasn’t much of a weekend. Busy but not a lot of downtime. As a result, I am thinking about flexing off some hours this week as recompense.

On getting drunk:
Sorry, no good stories to tell, I am still practicing the “be kind to your liver week”. That and I have been in a bit of a shitty mood the last few weeks, as my good friend Eric the Viking once said “the slipperiest substance known to man is the neck of a bottle, just look at all the people who have fallen in.” Bad space and lots of alcohol seems to add to a problem rather than take away, (Damn its hard to tell I am a Rhoades Scholar isn’t it) a respite was in order. That and there are too many good stories still going around.

On Food:
This weekend I didn’t make borsht, even though I got three phone calls asking when it was going to be done. I didn’t have the time and truth be known I wasn’t in the mood. However; my dear friend the Serb-Sniper did stop by and drop of some homemade baklava and perogies. Saturday, I made shrimp and couscous with fresh mangos and Sunday it was steaks, asparagus and dilled new potatoes.

On Picking up Reupholstered Furniture:
Sunday, I went and picked up some wicker rocking chairs that had sat in garages for 50 years; my understanding is that they were made in the 1890’s, so it looks cool. When moving into the house however we were struck with the problem of “shit, it sure looked smaller in the garage, so this week its going to be musical chairs with the furniture, which is ok as long as the piano stays put. My back is already hurting in anticipation.


On Sports:
Well, St. Francis won again, go Cougars…and it was a pleasant day to watch football. Now let’s talk about the South Carolina game, Lou’s last regular season game, did anyone catch that? It was big news down home, seems the players all of a sudden thought they were in a basketball game and had a sideline clearing free for all, damn sad-way for one of the best coaches in football to go out. But hey the Bowl games start, so there is some good to come out of it all yet.

Now on basketball, Hell Yes! Suspend them, that was uncalled for. Every now and then we all need to be reminded of what the rules are and get slapped when we cross the line, as grandfather always said, shit like that can be character building if you process it the right way. Just goes to prove my point that November is a depressing angry month but hey it’s all most over.

Todays Poem:
(Just picked up two of his books from a friend who was at a reading in San Fran last month)

Voices in the Night

I am the Raven
con of the world
spirit of blood and mire;
signal to the death,
the awakening before the coming.

I am the Owl
a reincarnation of a fed Rat
a wise soul searching - loving;
I find youth during their revelation,
and then take the responsibility,
of explaining away the exodus.

And I, I am the Hawk
guardian of the son
I bring the eye to battle;
searching wanting - warning,
the families of Lightning and of the Bear.

We shall be there when both Demons
and Angels together come to earth
do battle with man.

I am the Sparrow
the breath of heaven
I bring the desires of our Mother
and ask for you; to take care
of her belongings, her creatures.

I am the Bear from the family, before man
I will crush mans enemies
then selectively bind those
who would change the world;
to the ways of the White Witch.

And I, I am Lightning
I will strike down the madness
destroy the enemies of the Bear;
I am the weapon, of the most secure
Angel of our Lord.

We shall be here when both Demons
and Angels together come to do battle
with man.

And I am the Eye,
knowing of what must be done
to save man from destroying;
the faith of his One God.

Together we take the hour
of silence, form our armies.
Karma leading the way;
we reach out to the night.

Changing mans destiny,
crushing the selfishness
of blinded destruction;
Working the sphere of time; Risking all.

It is our destiny to be here
when both Demons and Angels
come together to do battle with Man.

Hear our voices; listen to our words,
the songs of her love.
In the breath of the world.

The Voices In The Night.

Joseph Mayo Wristen


Today’s New Word:
Busta: A punk; "Dis’ fool acting all Busta wit it!" "My sister's boyfriend is nothing but a busta."

Todays New Phrase:
Padonka Donk Donk: Often heard in small college towns in the Ohio River valley, Same as that of the Padonka Donk, but larger, rounder, wider, and full of donk. “She may have a padonka donk but that young lady there has the padonka donk donk”. "She hurt me with that padonka donk donk"


Today’s Bill:

SONNET 27
Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;
But then begins a journey in my head,
To work my mind, when body's work's expired:
For then my thoughts, from far where I abide,
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see
Save that my soul's imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,
Makes black night beauteous and her old face new.
Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee and for myself no quiet find.

Quote for the Day:
Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good; try to use ordinary situations.
Jean Paul Richter
German author (1763 - 1825)

I Remain, a free radical with out regard to tort,

JQP

Arlo Guthrie Poet Sage for the Week of the 22nd

(By Request, this the week of Thanksgiving)

Alice's Restaurant
By Arlo Guthrie


This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the
restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,
that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice's
Restaurant.

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't
have to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be
a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the city dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the
dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
decided to throw our's down.

That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the
next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under that garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the
police officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the
police officer's station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at
the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out
and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's station
there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the patrol car."

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stop
signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to
mention the aerial photography.

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my
wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took
out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the
toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,
and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I came to tell you about.

Came to talk about the draft.

They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave
me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,
sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too good about it.

Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty
ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
one question. Have you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of
things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-
know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-
you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-
officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on
the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
following words:

("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench
'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a
study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm
singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a
situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk into
the shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and
they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part
harmony and feeling.

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

All right now.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Excepting Alice
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's Restaurant

If you think thats good, you should try "I don't want a Pickle" The body of this man's work is nothing if not high art.

JQP


Saturday, November 20, 2004

Sat. Sports

Sports:
Wow, do I wish I would have taken my good friend Kid Rock up on his offer to come and be his guest at the big-game in Detroit City last night, but sadly I am once again on call at the hospital.

I have not seen basketball game that fun, since I watched hockey a few weeks ago. Who would of guessed that the key players for the Pacers are pretty good boxers too! Gee, I wonder if we are going to see a wholesale redistribution of wealth, I am sure there were lawyers at the door waiting to sign those poor, poor citizens of that great city and fans of that great team, that and what’s a few million to an NBA player. I became a fan of football just because it’s violent. May have to change my game.

Speaking of football, what you bet I get called into work at the hospital FOR SOME “emergency” God, you would think they are all emergencies. Back to football, St. Francis is playing Morning-Star (yes, I never heard of them either they are from way out west) for national title play-offs… Yes, the tail gate is packed and I am a rib-cooking-fool, that and I plan to be home in time to watch the SC game, once again Go Cocks!

JQP

Weekend Filler


Thought for the Weekend:
Ten soldiers wisely led will beat a hundred without a head.
Euripides

Blonde Joke I had not heard:
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to 4, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Very good, said her Mother. Is it because I'm blonde? "Yes, it's because your blonde," said the Mommy. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. " Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, all all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,B,C,D,E,F,G! "Very Good," said her Mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? "Yes it's because your blond! The following day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in Gym class today, and when we showered all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 38C's. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "No Honey, it's because you're 34."

and a ethnic joke I had heard:

The Irishman
An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking beer. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face.So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up.This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!""How did you know?" he asks."The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."

On call at the hosptial again:
I remain, tired, burned-out and getting ready to go back in,

JQP

Friday, November 19, 2004

Home for Lunch

Waiting to Appear:
You know the only time the word recess has any relevance in an adult’s world is when a Judge says it, and this morning I can attest that as an adult it still sounds good. I can now take off my tie for a few hours.

No-Love Thursday:
Well, there was no No-Love Thursday, Pastor Bob had Chaplin duties to tend to and I am observing “Be kind to your Liver Week”. However Pastor Bob and I did get into a rather lengthy debate on the role of the Holy Trinity in the Coptic Church vs. its roll in the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. (Yes, we really did; so there is a great deal of research going on to prove our points). We also got into a heated discussion over Shakespeare, however that was much easier to prove and we both found ourselves in the wrong. Since it is the start of Advent, we are thinking about suspending No-Love Thursdays, but keeping the option open for observance of Feast Days.

Sports:
This weekend looks to be a good one for football. Saturday we will be attending a hog-roast Play-Off game, and with any luck be home in time to watch SC play (Go Cocks!) It is Lou’s last season.


Off doing my real job,
JQP

Court Day

News:

My Gov Mitch announces plans for first 100 days in office
By John Francis, THG News, November 18, 2004

Showing the state he is a man that does not believe in wasting time, governor-elect Mitch Daniels announced Sunday his plan for his first 100 days in office. Some of the highlights:

Cut taxes. Daniels plans on working with the State Budget Agency to lower taxes by as much as 80%. “If we trim the fat and have a more efficient government, it will be in the best interests of Indiana’s economy.”

Introduce initiatives designed to spread the availability of broadband Internet to rural areas. Daniels wants to limit government regulation of broadband Internet, speed up the process of granting permits to companies who will expand broadband infrastructure, help private companies expand broadband, and appoint a chief technology officer. Daniels believes these initiatives are important so every small town from South Bend to Evansville will have access to his jazzy “My Gov Mitch” website.

Create an Office of Gay Affairs. Like all politicians, Daniels believes that it is important to give lip service to all minority groups in the state to keep them from stirring up trouble. Hopefully this will shut them up and maybe even get the governor a few more votes in 2008.

Increase the size of the Indiana National Guard. Republicans believe that a strong military is necessary for our protection and for deterrence. Daniels plans on doubling the size of the Guard and purchasing military hardware so it will be able to defend Hoosiers from rogue states like Kentucky and Michigan. Fifteen percent of Daniels’ budget would go to unspecified “black operations”.

Hire an image consultant for the state. Daniels realizes that the rest of the Midwest sees Indiana as Cousin Eddie to their Clark Griswold. To change this image, Daniels will hire an image consultant for the state. If this is successful and Indiana becomes a travelers’ hot spot, it will bring in millions of tourism dollars for the state.

Postpone talks with the Indianapolis Colts about a building a new stadium. “When they get a defense, then we’ll talk,” said Daniels.

Increase the education budget. In a surprise move, Daniels says he will give more money to public schools in the state. Daniels: “If schools are privatized and kids still do not learn up to expectations, those that support school choice will look like total jackasses.”

Decriminalize prostitution. Don’t get Daniels wrong, he is a moral, churchgoing man but sacrifices have to be made if his tax-cut proposal is going to work. Daniels believes he can cut funding to the state’s law enforcement agencies by making this “victimless crime” legal.

Indiana’s constitution mandates that a newly elected governor is to take office on the second Monday in January. The Mitch Daniels era will begin in the Hoosier State on January 10.


Cross Dress Class
A homecoming tradition in which boys dress like girls and vice versa in a tiny Texas school district won't be held Wednesday after a parent complained about what she regarded as the event's homosexual overtones.
As a substitute for "TWIRP Day," the schools ranging from elementary to senior high decided to hold "Camo Day" -- with black boots and Army camouflage to be worn by everyone who wants to participate. TWIRP, which stands for "The Woman Is Requested to Pay," was hosted by Spurger schools for years during Homecoming Week -- to give boys and girls a chance to reverse social roles and let older girls invite boys on dates, open doors and pay for sodas.
Plano-based Liberty Legal Institute issued a news release Tuesday reporting that it "came to the aid of a concerned parent" over an "official cross-dressing day" in the school district 150 miles northeast of Houston.

Today’s Word:
Gooch: "On the gooch" means it's true. That's strictly on the gooch.

Todays Poem:

The Gipsy Trail
The white moth to the closing bine,
The bee to the opened clover,
And the gipsy blood to the gipsy blood
Ever the wide world over.

Ever the wide world over, lass,
Ever the trail held true,
Over the world and under the world,
And back at the last to you.

Out of the dark of the gorgio camp,
Out of the grime and the grey
(Morning waits at the end of the world),
Gipsy, come away!

The wild boar to the sun-dried swamp,
The red crane to her reed,
And the Romany lass to the Romany lad,
By the tie of a roving breed.

The pied snake to the rifted rock,
The buck to the stony plain,
And the Romany lass to the Romany lad,
And both to the road again.

Both to the road again, again!
Out on a clean sea-track --
Follow the cross of the gipsy trail
Over the world and back!

Follow the Romany patteran
North where the blue bergs sail,
And the bows are grey with the frozen spray,
And the masts are shod with mail.

Follow the Romany patteran
Sheer to the Austral Light,
Where the besom of God is the wild South wind,
Sweeping the sea-floors white.

Follow the Romany patteran
West to the sinking sun,
Till the junk-sails lift through the houseless drift.
And the east and west are one.

Follow the Romany patteran
East where the silence broods
By a purple wave on an opal beach
In the hush of the Mahim woods.

"The wild hawk to the wind-swept sky,
The deer to the wholesome wold,
And the heart of a man to the heart of a maid,
As it was in the days of old."

The heart of a man to the heart of a maid --
Light of my tents, be fleet.
Morning waits at the end of the world,
And the world is all at our feet!

-Kipling

Phrase of the Day:

Galactic Toss Monkey :A measure of your appreciation of a piece of music.
That tune has got my GTMs jizzin like Ron Jeremy at a Spunkaphon.

Today’s Bill:

And thus I clothe my naked villainyWith old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ; And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.
William Shakespeare


Quote for the Day:

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
Abraham Lincoln, Lincoln's Own Stories16th president of US (1809 - 1865)

I Remain,

JQP

Thursday, November 18, 2004

A Brave New World

Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact. Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. ... Only atheists could accept this Satanic theory. Jimmy Swaggart

and so it begins...

JQP

Today's News

News:

News anchor appears nude in broadcast
A TV news anchor appeared on the air nude in a first-person report about an artist’s photographs, drawing a record number of viewers for the time slot, the station said.
Sharon Reed was one of hundreds of people who participated in Spencer Tunick’s nude photo installation in Cleveland in June. Her report, which aired Monday on the 11 p.m. newscast on WOIO-TV, showed far-away angles of her nude and some closer seminude shots.

Damn, she has my vote for replacing Dan Rather.

Prank turns serious for Georgia 7th-graders
Two seventh-grade girls in Marietta, Ga., were arrested on charges that they served poisoned cake at their middle school cafeteria to about a dozen students who became ill and had to be taken to the hospital. Lawyers for the girls said the cake was a prank. Lab tests showed the icing on the cornbread cake contained an expired prescription drug, bleach, clay and hot sauce.

It a little known fact that the petite and shy Mrs. John Q. Public has been slowly poisoning me over the past 5 years. She says its just a little joke she likes to play. All those years as a deep-cover operative with the KGB, left her just a little twisted in what she finds funny.

Hallelujah? Woman says sandwich is the holy grill
MIAMI – The people at eBay were no believers in this cheesy miracle: half of a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich whose owner claimed it bore the image of the Virgin Mary.
Hey, I saw the picture and it looks just like the Blessed Virgin Mother.

I wonder if now I can finally sell my shower curtain,on E-Bay. The mold on it is in the shape of those classic pop music idols “The Back Street Boys”.

Mother arrives at trial after drinking
A 31-year-old Fort Wayne woman accused of battering her 13-year-old daughter with a telephone handset after the girl dialed 911 was remanded to custody Wednesday when she showed up for her trial in Allen Superior Court after drinking alcohol.

More proof that the stupid breed and no I didnt buy her any shots. Hey, stuff like this is job security for me.

Iran developing nuclear missiles, Powell asserts
SANTIAGO, Chile – The United States has intelligence that Iran is working to adapt missiles to deliver a nuclear weapon, further evidence that the Islamic republic is determined to acquire a nuclear bomb, Secretary of State Colin Powell said Wednesday.

Oh, no credibility gap here. WMD? CIA Intel? Have we learned nothing? If you elect a fundamentalist whose religion has a major tenant is actively looking forward to the Apocalypse, you have to expect a bit of war-mongering.

DeLay gets reward of job security
WASHINGTON – Emboldened by their election successes, House Republicans on Wednesday changed their rules to allow Majority Leader Tom DeLay, of Texas, to keep his post even if a grand jury indicts him, and Senate GOP leaders continued to weigh changing long-standing rules governing filibusters to prevent Democrats from blocking President Bush’s most conservative judicial nominees. House Republicans, in an unrecorded voice vote behind closed doors, changed a 1993 party rule that required leaders who are indicted to step aside. Under the revised rule, an indicted leader can keep his or her post while the Republican Steering Committee – controlled by party leaders – decides whether to recommend any action by the full caucus.
Republicans made clear they would not act if they believe their leaders are targeted by grand juries or prosecutors motivated by politics, which is the charge DeLay and his allies repeatedly have leveled at a grand jury based in Austin. The grand jury has indicted three of DeLay’s political associates in connection to fund-raising activities for a political action committee closely linked to DeLay.

Please, I love these law and order, moral majority, folks, who change the rules so one of them doesn’t have to face the music. And, they say its motivated by politics? Two words “Ken Starr”.


On Wild Bill Clinton:
The Clinton Library opens today and I believe he will be remembered as one of our greatest Presidents, someday we will be naming Indiana Interstates after him (the stretch of road between French Lick and Big Bone Lick would be a good candidate). I don’t know about you but I have been on pins and needles, everyone says (well, the people on TV) that this might be the jump off point for Hillary and that her campaign starts here.

If it happens and she becomes the next Democratic candidate for president, I will leave the party. Yes, leave that party. Hell, I am close now. That would be just about the craziest thing they could do. No other Democrat could make America jump further into the arms of the Republican Party.

Word of the Day:
Weaksauce: Paltry, insufficient, and laughable in effort, Lacking of sophistication or goodness; infertile male; the manner of being weak by nature of virtue and character; A word commonly used by stoners in place of "lame" or "stupid." N "Weaksauce." Man, that movie was fucking weaksauce. That chick's boyfriend is weaksauce.

Phrase of the Day:
Front Street: Telling others about your personal affairs. Usually used in the expression, "Why you puttin' my business on Front Street?"

Bill of the Day:
Exit, pursued by a bear.
William Shakespeare,
Stage direction in "The Winter's Tale"

Poem of the Day:

Cut
What a thrill ----
My thumb instead of an onion.
The top quite gone
Except for a sort of hinge

Of skin,
A flap like a hat,
Dead white.
Then that red plush.

Little pilgrim,
The Indian's axed your scalp.
Your turkey wattle
Carpet rolls

Straight from the heart.
I step on it,
Clutching my bottle
Of pink fizz. A celebration, this is.
Out of a gap
A million soldiers run,
Redcoats, every one.

Whose side are they one?
O my
Homunculus, I am ill.
I have taken a pill to kill

The thin
Papery feeling.
Saboteur,
Kamikaze man ----

The stain on your
Gauze Ku Klux Klan
Babushka
Darkens and tarnishes and when
The balled
Pulp of your heart
Confronts its small
Mill of silence

How you jump ----
Trepanned veteran,
Dirty girl,
Thumb stump.
Sylvia Plath

Quote of the Day:
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
Frank ZappaUS musician, singer, & songwriter (1940 - 1993)

To you, I remain:

JQP

Steve Miller Poet-Sage

while driving the church bus to work this morning I was listening to the radio (AM) and I heard this song:

Abracadabra
I heat up, I can't cool down
You got me spinnin' 'Round and 'round 'Round and 'round and 'round it goes
Where it stops nobody knows
Every time you call my name
I heat up like a burnin' flame
Burnin' flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher
Abra-abra-cadabra I want to reach out and grab ya Abra-abra-cadabra Abracadabra
You make me hot, you make me sigh
You make me laugh, you make me cry
Keep me burnin' for your love
With the touch of a velvet glove
Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra Abracadabra
I feel the magic in your caress
I feel magic when I touch your dress S
ilk and satin, leather and lace
Black panties with an angel's face
I see magic in your eyes
I hear the magic in your sighs
Just when I think I'm gonna get away
I hear those words that you always say
Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra Abracadabra
Every time you call my name I heat up like a burnin' flame
Burnin' flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round

Funny how a song can to you someplace, to a time, a person.
I tip my hat to you, Steve Miller... poet-sage of the 80s

At the foot of greatness, I am:

JQP

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Great Minds

From http://booleanwombat.blogspot.com/

Marine Shooting in Fallujah
JQP: Here's my take on the Marine shooting in Fallujah...In war there are seldom clear-cut situations, but politically this is indeed a big, fucking mess.The real problem was that there was a failure by command in the rear to follow up and get the enemy wounded out. Had that happened, the shooting wouldn’t have occurred in the first place, but again, there are few clear-cut situations in warfare.

Who knows how many buildings held wounded insurgents? It’s not like these guys had time on their hands to go around and pick up wounded insurgents. They were still being shot at. Still are.If an enemy is wounded, it doesn’t matter if he’s armed or not, he’s still dangerous, and I would have put rounds into each of those cocksuckers to make sure they were dead. Better them than me.

Two days before, the Marine who shot this jihadi turd saw one of his friends get killed by a booby-trapped insurgent body. If the dead can kill you, are you going to allow a wounded man to possibly do the same? I don’t think so.Finally, the Marines were under the SEVERE stress of a week of continuous combat. Go ahead and get shot at for a week straight, operate on virtually no sleep, and then try to recite the rules of the Geneva Convention.

It’s not reasonable to expect that a soldier can critically think about the rules of war under these conditions, especially in house-to-house combat.I don’t think this Marine should be court-martialed. These insurgents are not soldiers in disciplined armies who are wearing uniforms or who adhere to any kind of reasonable human conduct. It’s a bad situation, and in bad situations, shit happens. I’d rather be alive than second-guess my decision and end up dead.

Last Nights Sleeping and things that go Bump

On Sleeping on a Futon Last Night:
Ok, the Japanese make better cars and electronics than us, then why in the fuck cant that great and clever race of people refine the futon, so that you can sleep the night through on it without waking up three of four times going fuck!... this is one un-comfortable thing to sleep on.

I moved to the floor, at which time the hounds joined me and we slept the rest of the night over by the heat register in the parlor.

Undignified, yes… but damn I slept well, I highly recommend it.

On Why I Slept on a Futon Last Night:
Have you ever been a crew member of a Turkish freighter? Dear friends it is an experience that is character building to say the least. One finds it difficult if not imposable to sleep after standing the midnight-watch. The snores and sounds emanating from your shipmates can best be described as a chainsaw convention meets a bovine methane research center.

And thus Mrs. John Q. Public returned to the manor, after her tour of the mid-west as the manager of the definitive Metal Band Mega-Death. Needless to say I was unaccustomed to her presence in my bed. In my concern for her uninterrupted respite from the rigors of the road, I thought it best to seek my slumber elsewhere. Thus the futon in the music room.

On the Road with Mrs. John Q. Public:
Upon her return, in which with her haste to once again enjoy the amenities of our home, she managed to sideswipe both the Organ Donation Van and the Church Bus, she uttered one statement before collapsing from what I can only assume was complete fatigue: “there are only so many lines of coke you can do off the asses of 18 year-old groupies, so many pills you can pop, so many days you can stay awake, mother-fucker my jaw is sore, and who in the fuck are you, this isnt Ohio?”

My poor little camper, I have not seen her spent like this since she worked the New Hampshire Campaign for then Governor Bill Clinton.

On forgetting:
You ever want to forget something? Most often it’s something we have done, or some thing that embarrasses us, or makes us ashamed, things that remind us we are not who we think we are we are just us, and sometimes its even good things. I have found that even if I try, I can not forget any slight I have done another, any action of significance, any pain, anymore than I could forget my left hand.

I have a friend, who lost his leg, he still remembers what it was like to have that leg, and it’s been 15 years. There are times in the middle of the night that he will wake-up and get out of bed forgetting and fall flat on his face. He says, after a while your get used to it all except for the God-Damn itching, itching that you can not scratch on a leg that not longer exists, he told me that never goes away. But it doesn’t make it any less real. Just something I am thinking about today, winter in Indiana is always a good time to think, I find.

Moving toward Introspection, I remain:

JQP

What NPR didnt say this morning was...

The News:

Marine Shooting in Iraq:
The fatal shooting of a wounded and apparently unarmed man in a Fallujah mosque by a U.S. Marine angered Sunni Muslims in Iraq on Tuesday and raised questions about the protection of enemy fighters once they are out of action.

International legal experts said the Marine may have acted in self-defense because of a danger that a wounded enemy may try to blow up a hidden weapon; a key issue was whether the injured man was a prisoner at the time. The shooting happened Saturday, one day after the Marine, who has not been identified, was wounded in the face and after another man in his unit was killed by the booby-trapped body of an insurgent.

However, the incident could cause major political problems for the government of Prime Minister Ayad Allawi and his U.S. backers at a time when Iraqi authorities are seeking to contain a backlash among Sunnis to the invasion of the former insurgent stronghold of Fallujah.

Ok, I first got pissed about this Monday morning when I heard the story on NPR. Let me put on my JAG hat for a second. From the slanted one-sided story I have received in both the US and foreign media it would appear to be a strait forward case of war atrocity. But dear reader things are never that simple in real life and even less so in war.

If I remember the Articles of War correctly, when a unit is sweeping a designed area in an attack anything and everything is fair game, I do mean anything and everything. Now once an objective is secured you must under the Geneva Convention take prisoners and provide aid to the wounded. This rule held true from WW II until till today. That’s is why you here people yell “Clear” once they have completed their task in a mission in all the documentaries.
After the sweep of the objective it is up to the ranking officer to declare the objective secure.

I can remember vividly being trained this in beautiful Ft. Benning, GA, at the ripe old age of 17. I was told at that time; that in the process of sweeping an objective to be sure to put a few rounds into any dead or wounded enemy combatants. This was done for several reasons, a wounded soldier can kill you just as dead as a live one and the same holds true for one playing dead (not to mention the habit many of our enemies have of booby-trapping the dead, let alone suicide bombers). Another reason would be that often times limited medical support is available to forces engaged in combat, you want to use your resources on your troops first.

Well, with my training from way back when, I most likely would have shot all four of them, not just one, unless the objective was deemed secure. One thing to keep in mind is these are the kids who last year were in high school, and often when you see them on TV with blood on their uniform, its not theirs, its most likely some other mothers son who will be going home in a box or on a set of wheels. For those of you who have not held a friend while they died, it is a very life changing experience.

Those of you who know me know I am not for the war, and that I am by no means a pacifist, but one thing I have always been is 100% pro-soldier. I hate their boss for making them have to go through all this, in what in my opinion was not a good enough reason. But, hey this is still for the time being America, and I am allowed my views.

CARE worker believed executed
BAGHDAD, Iraq – Margaret Hassan, the British aid worker kidnapped after decades of helping Iraqis, is believed to have been murdered by her captors, a British government official said Tuesday, based on a video that showed a hooded militant shooting a blindfolded woman in the head.

They killed an old lady, who fed their starving children? Ok, I bitch about the right wing fundamentalists in this country. God-Damn, this is how they look over there. Fuck’em, lets all buy fuel cell cars and heat our homes with solar and wind power. Let the fucks go back to living in tents and just killing each other.

PETA urges people to avoid eating fish
Animal-rights activists have launched a campaign arguing that fish – contrary to stereotype – are intelligent, sensitive animals no more deserving of being eaten than a pet dog or cat.

Ok, hello…is there anyone out there? Intelligent and Sensitive? They have never met my pet Carp “Roger” he is down right scary, and now that he is 3 feet long I have to keep him in the bath tub.

City’s airport listed among top 10 for ‘hanging out’ in
Fort Wayne’s welcome cookies, other perks score points with national travel columnist.If you’re going to be stuck in an airport over the holidays, Fort Wayne is the place to be.
So said USA Today last week, including Fort Wayne International Airport among “10 great places to hang out during a layover.” “This may be the country’s friendliest airport,” wrote travel columnist Harriet Baskas. “For the past five years, almost everyone arriving on a weekday flight between 8:30 a.m. and 8:30 p.m. has been greeted by a ‘hospitality host’ handing out sugar cookies. The welcome gifts don’t stop there: Moms get gifts on Mother’s Day, dads get gifts on Fathers Day and throughout the year, balloons, candy, pens and souvenirs are distributed.”

Ok, for starters there is no airport that is good to be stuck in for the holidays, least of all, one in Ft. Wayne Indiana. Trust me I know. But, the USO in O’Hare is one hell of a good place to eat if you’re stuck there in uniform.

My Five top domestic favorites would have to be, based on hot women, good bars, heat and availability of something to do during a long lay-overs:
San Juan
Miami
New Orleans
Dallas Ft. Worth
Cleveland

Ex-crematory operator to plead guilty
ATLANTA (AP) -- A former crematory operator accused of dumping 334 bodies and passing off cement dust as their ashes struck a plea deal that calls for up to 12 years in prison, The Associated Press learned Tuesday. Ray-Brent Marsh, who is to enter the plea Friday, had faced up to 8,000 years in a case that shocked the nation more than two years ago when investigators found rotting corpses stacked in sheds and scattered in woods outside his crematory in rural northwest Georgia.

Moral: never trust someone with two first names to bury or cremate a loved one.

Elwood soldier killed while defending others
ELWOOD — The commanding officers of a 22-year-old soldier killed in Iraq told his family that he saved the lives of several of his comrades as they were ambushed. White, 22, of Elwood, and his unit were on patrol in three military vehicles when they were ambushed by about 30 insurgents; his father said he was told. “Raymond was the only one firing, so all the fire was directed at Raymond,” White said. “Ray was killed instantly, but he was able to fight to the very end. The battalion commander said he saved all those soldiers’ lives.” White said five other soldiers were injured with minor wounds.

They sent off a boy and got back a hero, let’s not make his sacrifice one done in vain. Lets do it right, God Bless him and his family, and all the of those effected by this war.

Indiana Democratic Party chairman resigns
INDIANAPOLIS — The chairman of the Indiana Democratic Party resigned Monday, nearly two weeks after the party lost control of the governor’s office, the Indiana House and a southern Indiana congressional seat. “It was fun,” Tew said. “But I need to make money, and I can’t be state chairman and make money at the same time.”

With hard hitting dedication like that to the cause of the Democratic Party here in Indiana it’s hard to see why they lost the election. Funny the Republicans never let not making money get in the way of their political machine.

Chicago police plead 5th in alleged torture lawsuit
More than two dozen current and former Chicago police officials and homicide detectives have taken the Fifth Amendment when questioned in a civil lawsuit claiming that police used torture when interrogating suspects, attorneys said Tuesday.

No big deal you say? Well perhaps; until you fit a profile while you’re drunk out of your mind on Rush Street. This is how our civil liberties start to go folks, and when it gets to you, it just might be too late to do anything about it.

National support to rename I-469
A national organization announced Tuesday its support for a proposal to rename I-469 for a former president.
The Ronald Reagan Legacy Project has praised Congressman Mark Souder for his part in renaming the stretch of road after the nation’s 40th president. The original idea started with a New Haven councilman, who thought it would be a great way to memorialize Reagan.
If the proposal passes, drivers could start taking the Ronald Reagan Freeway by next spring.

Ok, first they want to change the name of I-69, because its to sexual, now they want to re-name I-469, what in thee fuck is going on here. We have a deficit, and troops in combat don’t have body armor and they want to name an Interstate after a President of was only here once and would shit if he knew how W and his crew were running things? Fuck you! don’t spent my tax money on new signs, give it to some free lunch program for kids whose dads and moms lost their jobs because it moved overseas.

Air Force head exits; Army chief confirmed
WASHINGTON – Air Force Secretary James Roche resigned Tuesday, and the Senate confirmed defense industry executive Francis J. Harvey as secretary of the Army, the service’s top civilian post.

and...

FDA chief counsel resigns
WASHINGTON – Daniel Troy, chief counsel for the Food and Drug Administration, resigned Tuesday with plans to return to the private sector.

Up-dates on the purge. Some more Bush house cleaning, they are not passing the litmus test, of whatever Steel/Steal Dick wants for his rich buddies he gets, and dont forget W’s pals from all the church tent revival meet’ens.

Today’s Bill:

SONNET 13
O, that you were yourself! but, love, you are
No longer yours than you yourself here live:
Against this coming end you should prepare,
And your sweet semblance to some other give.
So should that beauty which you hold in lease
Find no determination: then you were
Yourself again after yourself's decease,
When your sweet issue your sweet form should bear.
Who lets so fair a house fall to decay,
Which husbandry in honour might uphold
Against the stormy gusts of winter's day
And barren rage of death's eternal cold?
O, none but unthrifts! Dear my love, you know
You had a father: let your son say so.

Today’s Poem:

I remember the cities I have never seen
exactly. Silver-veined Venice, Leningrad
with its toffee-twisted minarets. Paris. Soon
the Impressionists will be making sunshine out of shade.
Oh! and the uncoiling cobra alleys of Hyderabad.
To have loved one horizon is insularity;
it blindfolds vision, it narrows experience.
The spirit is willing, but the mind is dirty.
The flesh wastes itself under crumb-sprinkled linens,
widening the Weltanschauung with magazines.
A world's outside the door, but how upsetting
to stand by your bags on a cold step as dawn
roses the brickwork and before you start regretting,
your taxi's coming with one beep of its horn,
sidling to the curb like a hearse -- so you get in.

Derek Walcott

Today’s Phrase:

Captain Sav-a-Hoe: A Captain Sav-a-hoe (save a whore) is a man who pays for everything to an unreasonable extent. As Jermar Givens put it, "If you're paying for all the kid's clothing, but they ain't even your kids--you're a captain."

Today’s Free-Drink Bar Trick:

BILL AND BEER BOTTLE TRICK
Here's another easy Trick to perform . Turn an empty bottle (preferably longneck beer bottle) upside down on top of any bill. The challenge is to get the bill out from underneath the bottle without knocking over the bottle. You cannot touch the bottle, and it must remain inverted at all times.

Here's how its done: Roll up the bill until it pushes off the bottle. Hint: The first thing people will think of is to pull the bill quickly out from underneath the bottle. This will work on slick surfaces, unless you make sure the bill gets a little wet where it meets the bottle. The last few drops of beer left in the bottle will prevent this from happening. Give it a try, it's very easy.


Today’s Word:

Vagynamite :Va·gyn·a·mite adj. A female having or displaying qualities that please the senses, especially those relating sexual arousal. n. One of several classes of volatile genital explosives. tr. v. va·gyn·a·mit·ed, va·gyn·a·mit·ing When or after a male is effectively sexed by a woman or women under the vagynamite classification.

Fresh, that hoe has a booty so tight, it's VAGYN-A-MITE!Make sure he does not sleep through his important business meeting, his secretary along with her blasting crew vagynamited all up in his grill before lunch.

(I love readers’ submissions, and this is the cleaned up version.)

Quote for the Day:

There exist only three beings worthy of respect: the priest, the soldier, the poet. To know, to kill, to create.
Charles Baudelaire, Mon Coeur Mis a Nu, XXIIFrench poet (1821 - 1867)

(Since I recently got turned onto Baudelaire, I thought I would pick one of his quotes. If you every get a chance his erotica is something else.)

Remembering and Unblinking I remain:

JQP