Today's News
News:
News anchor appears nude in broadcast
A TV news anchor appeared on the air nude in a first-person report about an artist’s photographs, drawing a record number of viewers for the time slot, the station said.
Sharon Reed was one of hundreds of people who participated in Spencer Tunick’s nude photo installation in Cleveland in June. Her report, which aired Monday on the 11 p.m. newscast on WOIO-TV, showed far-away angles of her nude and some closer seminude shots.
Damn, she has my vote for replacing Dan Rather.
Prank turns serious for Georgia 7th-graders
Two seventh-grade girls in Marietta, Ga., were arrested on charges that they served poisoned cake at their middle school cafeteria to about a dozen students who became ill and had to be taken to the hospital. Lawyers for the girls said the cake was a prank. Lab tests showed the icing on the cornbread cake contained an expired prescription drug, bleach, clay and hot sauce.
It a little known fact that the petite and shy Mrs. John Q. Public has been slowly poisoning me over the past 5 years. She says its just a little joke she likes to play. All those years as a deep-cover operative with the KGB, left her just a little twisted in what she finds funny.
Hallelujah? Woman says sandwich is the holy grill
MIAMI – The people at eBay were no believers in this cheesy miracle: half of a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich whose owner claimed it bore the image of the Virgin Mary.
Hey, I saw the picture and it looks just like the Blessed Virgin Mother.
I wonder if now I can finally sell my shower curtain,on E-Bay. The mold on it is in the shape of those classic pop music idols “The Back Street Boys”.
Mother arrives at trial after drinking
A 31-year-old Fort Wayne woman accused of battering her 13-year-old daughter with a telephone handset after the girl dialed 911 was remanded to custody Wednesday when she showed up for her trial in Allen Superior Court after drinking alcohol.
More proof that the stupid breed and no I didnt buy her any shots. Hey, stuff like this is job security for me.
Iran developing nuclear missiles, Powell asserts
SANTIAGO, Chile – The United States has intelligence that Iran is working to adapt missiles to deliver a nuclear weapon, further evidence that the Islamic republic is determined to acquire a nuclear bomb, Secretary of State Colin Powell said Wednesday.
Oh, no credibility gap here. WMD? CIA Intel? Have we learned nothing? If you elect a fundamentalist whose religion has a major tenant is actively looking forward to the Apocalypse, you have to expect a bit of war-mongering.
DeLay gets reward of job security
WASHINGTON – Emboldened by their election successes, House Republicans on Wednesday changed their rules to allow Majority Leader Tom DeLay, of Texas, to keep his post even if a grand jury indicts him, and Senate GOP leaders continued to weigh changing long-standing rules governing filibusters to prevent Democrats from blocking President Bush’s most conservative judicial nominees. House Republicans, in an unrecorded voice vote behind closed doors, changed a 1993 party rule that required leaders who are indicted to step aside. Under the revised rule, an indicted leader can keep his or her post while the Republican Steering Committee – controlled by party leaders – decides whether to recommend any action by the full caucus.
Republicans made clear they would not act if they believe their leaders are targeted by grand juries or prosecutors motivated by politics, which is the charge DeLay and his allies repeatedly have leveled at a grand jury based in Austin. The grand jury has indicted three of DeLay’s political associates in connection to fund-raising activities for a political action committee closely linked to DeLay.
Please, I love these law and order, moral majority, folks, who change the rules so one of them doesn’t have to face the music. And, they say its motivated by politics? Two words “Ken Starr”.
On Wild Bill Clinton:
The Clinton Library opens today and I believe he will be remembered as one of our greatest Presidents, someday we will be naming Indiana Interstates after him (the stretch of road between French Lick and Big Bone Lick would be a good candidate). I don’t know about you but I have been on pins and needles, everyone says (well, the people on TV) that this might be the jump off point for Hillary and that her campaign starts here.
If it happens and she becomes the next Democratic candidate for president, I will leave the party. Yes, leave that party. Hell, I am close now. That would be just about the craziest thing they could do. No other Democrat could make America jump further into the arms of the Republican Party.
Word of the Day:
Weaksauce: Paltry, insufficient, and laughable in effort, Lacking of sophistication or goodness; infertile male; the manner of being weak by nature of virtue and character; A word commonly used by stoners in place of "lame" or "stupid." N "Weaksauce." Man, that movie was fucking weaksauce. That chick's boyfriend is weaksauce.
Phrase of the Day:
Front Street: Telling others about your personal affairs. Usually used in the expression, "Why you puttin' my business on Front Street?"
Bill of the Day:
Exit, pursued by a bear.
William Shakespeare,
Stage direction in "The Winter's Tale"
Poem of the Day:
Cut
What a thrill ----
My thumb instead of an onion.
The top quite gone
Except for a sort of hinge
Of skin,
A flap like a hat,
Dead white.
Then that red plush.
Little pilgrim,
The Indian's axed your scalp.
Your turkey wattle
Carpet rolls
Straight from the heart.
I step on it,
Clutching my bottle
Of pink fizz. A celebration, this is.
Out of a gap
A million soldiers run,
Redcoats, every one.
Whose side are they one?
O my
Homunculus, I am ill.
I have taken a pill to kill
The thin
Papery feeling.
Saboteur,
Kamikaze man ----
The stain on your
Gauze Ku Klux Klan
Babushka
Darkens and tarnishes and when
The balled
Pulp of your heart
Confronts its small
Mill of silence
How you jump ----
Trepanned veteran,
Dirty girl,
Thumb stump.
Sylvia Plath
Quote of the Day:
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
Frank ZappaUS musician, singer, & songwriter (1940 - 1993)
To you, I remain:
JQP
News anchor appears nude in broadcast
A TV news anchor appeared on the air nude in a first-person report about an artist’s photographs, drawing a record number of viewers for the time slot, the station said.
Sharon Reed was one of hundreds of people who participated in Spencer Tunick’s nude photo installation in Cleveland in June. Her report, which aired Monday on the 11 p.m. newscast on WOIO-TV, showed far-away angles of her nude and some closer seminude shots.
Damn, she has my vote for replacing Dan Rather.
Prank turns serious for Georgia 7th-graders
Two seventh-grade girls in Marietta, Ga., were arrested on charges that they served poisoned cake at their middle school cafeteria to about a dozen students who became ill and had to be taken to the hospital. Lawyers for the girls said the cake was a prank. Lab tests showed the icing on the cornbread cake contained an expired prescription drug, bleach, clay and hot sauce.
It a little known fact that the petite and shy Mrs. John Q. Public has been slowly poisoning me over the past 5 years. She says its just a little joke she likes to play. All those years as a deep-cover operative with the KGB, left her just a little twisted in what she finds funny.
Hallelujah? Woman says sandwich is the holy grill
MIAMI – The people at eBay were no believers in this cheesy miracle: half of a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich whose owner claimed it bore the image of the Virgin Mary.
Hey, I saw the picture and it looks just like the Blessed Virgin Mother.
I wonder if now I can finally sell my shower curtain,on E-Bay. The mold on it is in the shape of those classic pop music idols “The Back Street Boys”.
Mother arrives at trial after drinking
A 31-year-old Fort Wayne woman accused of battering her 13-year-old daughter with a telephone handset after the girl dialed 911 was remanded to custody Wednesday when she showed up for her trial in Allen Superior Court after drinking alcohol.
More proof that the stupid breed and no I didnt buy her any shots. Hey, stuff like this is job security for me.
Iran developing nuclear missiles, Powell asserts
SANTIAGO, Chile – The United States has intelligence that Iran is working to adapt missiles to deliver a nuclear weapon, further evidence that the Islamic republic is determined to acquire a nuclear bomb, Secretary of State Colin Powell said Wednesday.
Oh, no credibility gap here. WMD? CIA Intel? Have we learned nothing? If you elect a fundamentalist whose religion has a major tenant is actively looking forward to the Apocalypse, you have to expect a bit of war-mongering.
DeLay gets reward of job security
WASHINGTON – Emboldened by their election successes, House Republicans on Wednesday changed their rules to allow Majority Leader Tom DeLay, of Texas, to keep his post even if a grand jury indicts him, and Senate GOP leaders continued to weigh changing long-standing rules governing filibusters to prevent Democrats from blocking President Bush’s most conservative judicial nominees. House Republicans, in an unrecorded voice vote behind closed doors, changed a 1993 party rule that required leaders who are indicted to step aside. Under the revised rule, an indicted leader can keep his or her post while the Republican Steering Committee – controlled by party leaders – decides whether to recommend any action by the full caucus.
Republicans made clear they would not act if they believe their leaders are targeted by grand juries or prosecutors motivated by politics, which is the charge DeLay and his allies repeatedly have leveled at a grand jury based in Austin. The grand jury has indicted three of DeLay’s political associates in connection to fund-raising activities for a political action committee closely linked to DeLay.
Please, I love these law and order, moral majority, folks, who change the rules so one of them doesn’t have to face the music. And, they say its motivated by politics? Two words “Ken Starr”.
On Wild Bill Clinton:
The Clinton Library opens today and I believe he will be remembered as one of our greatest Presidents, someday we will be naming Indiana Interstates after him (the stretch of road between French Lick and Big Bone Lick would be a good candidate). I don’t know about you but I have been on pins and needles, everyone says (well, the people on TV) that this might be the jump off point for Hillary and that her campaign starts here.
If it happens and she becomes the next Democratic candidate for president, I will leave the party. Yes, leave that party. Hell, I am close now. That would be just about the craziest thing they could do. No other Democrat could make America jump further into the arms of the Republican Party.
Word of the Day:
Weaksauce: Paltry, insufficient, and laughable in effort, Lacking of sophistication or goodness; infertile male; the manner of being weak by nature of virtue and character; A word commonly used by stoners in place of "lame" or "stupid." N "Weaksauce." Man, that movie was fucking weaksauce. That chick's boyfriend is weaksauce.
Phrase of the Day:
Front Street: Telling others about your personal affairs. Usually used in the expression, "Why you puttin' my business on Front Street?"
Bill of the Day:
Exit, pursued by a bear.
William Shakespeare,
Stage direction in "The Winter's Tale"
Poem of the Day:
Cut
What a thrill ----
My thumb instead of an onion.
The top quite gone
Except for a sort of hinge
Of skin,
A flap like a hat,
Dead white.
Then that red plush.
Little pilgrim,
The Indian's axed your scalp.
Your turkey wattle
Carpet rolls
Straight from the heart.
I step on it,
Clutching my bottle
Of pink fizz. A celebration, this is.
Out of a gap
A million soldiers run,
Redcoats, every one.
Whose side are they one?
O my
Homunculus, I am ill.
I have taken a pill to kill
The thin
Papery feeling.
Saboteur,
Kamikaze man ----
The stain on your
Gauze Ku Klux Klan
Babushka
Darkens and tarnishes and when
The balled
Pulp of your heart
Confronts its small
Mill of silence
How you jump ----
Trepanned veteran,
Dirty girl,
Thumb stump.
Sylvia Plath
Quote of the Day:
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
Frank ZappaUS musician, singer, & songwriter (1940 - 1993)
To you, I remain:
JQP
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 2:20 AM
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