The News and Views:

Today’s News:

Annual ranking put Gary fifth on the list; Detroit moved to second.
TRENTON, N.J. — Camden has been named the nation’s most dangerous city, snatching the top spot from Detroit, according to a company’s annual ranking based on crime statistics. Officials in Camden, which was ranked third last year, downplayed the dubious designation Sunday, saying many steps have already been taken to reduce crime in the city. “We must give our people jobs, training and opportunity,” said City Councilman Ali Sloan-El, who pointed out that Camden’s poverty is an important contributing factor to its high crime rate. Atlanta, St. Louis and Gary rounded out the top five in the most dangerous city rankings, which was to be released today by Morgan Quitno Corp. Detroit fell to second in this year’s list. The rankings look at the rate for six crime categories: Murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary and auto theft. It compares 350 cities with populations of 75,000 or more that reported crime data to the FBI. Final 2003 statistics, released by the FBI in October, were used to determine the rankings.
The Star today reported that Gov. Elect Mitch Daniels said that "Once again Indiana slips in national poles, it will not happen on my watch. "

Dioceses’ self-reporting of sexual abuse by clergy will work, bishop says.
Simplifying the reporting process for sex-abuse audits at U.S. Catholic churches makes sense, especially for this diocese and others that have not had abuse problems, local Bishop John M. D’Arcy said. U.S. Catholic bishops voted Wednesday at their fall meeting in Washington, D.C., to switch to a less demanding, self-reporting audit process in future years. D’Arcy, clergy leader of the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend, supported the change during discussions at the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops meeting, which ended Thursday.
Oh, yes I am sure the self reporting thing will work just about as well has it has for the past 50 years.

Trust me they say…ummm. Bullshit, the law is the law, let just enforce it!

Roller kills worker:
GREENSBURG — A state construction inspector standing near a highway work zone was killed Thursday when an asphalt roller lurched forward, crushing her. Two other state transportation employees standing nearby dodged the roller, but were unable to rescue Joyce E. Williams, 43, of Edinburgh. Williams was standing about five feet from the roller when it suddenly accelerated and crushed her on Indiana 46 about seven miles west of Greensburg.

Man you think your job sucks! What a fucking way to go.

Rice surgery uses newer technique
Condoleezza Rice, the secretary of state-designate, is undergoing a minimally invasive U.S. Secretary of State nominee Condoleezza Rice will undergo a medical procedure today for benign uterine fibroid tumors. By opting for a less invasive procedure that shrinks the tumors by blocking their blood supply, experts say, she will bring greater awareness to the technique, which is used less than 10 percent of the time to treat such noncancerous tumors.

You know I always wondered, she did look a little pinched didn’t she?

Parents hit school for giving knife back to son
The parents of a Geyer Middle School student want to know why school officials didn’t notify them last week when staff members confiscated a switchblade from their son and why the knife was returned to the boy after school. After school, another student reported that the 14-year-old had a knife on a school bus after a chess team meeting. The boy was later arrested on juvenile charges of criminal recklessness and possession of a switchblade after another boy complained the student threatened him. One teacher was reported as saying, “Hey, this is a bad part of town and we have had a history of problems with the chess team and the math club. It’s not something we want to get in between.”

Exposure report: Urinating on sidewalk
Fort Wayne police said they were investigating a report of indecent exposure at a house on South Calhoun Street on Saturday. A woman walking past a house in the 4100 block of South Calhoun Street just after noon saw a man standing on the front porch with his shirt up to his chest and his pants below his knees, urinating on the sidewalk, a police report said. This was the sixth time police had responded to a complant at this address.

Gee, which one would I follow-up on, a guy pissing or a kid with a knife.


Oldest bank robber, 92, dies in prison’s hospital
DALLAS – J.L. Hunter “Red” Rountree, the nation’s oldest known bank robber, who turned to crime in his 80s and said the robberies made him feel good for days afterward, died in a prison hospital. He was 92. He was quoted as saying: “Maybe next time one of you young people will think about that when you say hurry up old man, that old man just might be packing some heat.” Police caught up with Rountree after a walker left at a robery was traced back to him through Medicare billing.

Conservative spending:
Well, if you are a strong conservative who voted for President Bush, here is why you were holding your nose, in case you had forgotten: Congress has sent President Bush an $800 billion boost in the federal borrowing limit, pumping the borrowing cap to $8.18 trillion, 70 percent of the entire size of the U.S. economy. “The president commends the Congress,” said a statement from the White House.

It’s clear that “conservative” no longer means “limited government” in Washington these days, and that “conservative Republican” should be enshrined as the latest oxymoron. For all you supporters of John Kerry, this is probably one reason to prefer his presidency that wasn’t on your list. With a Republican Congress and Kerry in the White House, gridlock might have been the result, a temporary condition that’s probably the best fiscal conservatives could ever hope for these days.

Sex in Today’s News:

Porn in the Cross Hairs
Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to clinicians and researchers testifying before a Senate committee Thursday. Witnesses before the Senate Commerce Committee's Science, Technology and Space Subcommittee spared no superlative in their description of the negative effects of pornography. Jeffrey Satinover, a psychiatrist and advisor to the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality echoed Subcommittee's concern about the internet and the somatic effects of pornography. “If they look at porn people will lose morals thus making it easyer for them to be tempted into such things as race mixing and homsexuallity. Sexual behavor between two different sex married adults should never involve pictures, let alone be talked about. The goal of sex is to create good strong healthly babies.

Arrest for the Sake of his Art
MILFORD, Conn. — Some people are willing to go to jail for the sake of art. Police in Slidell, La., charged a 33-year-old man with criminal mischief earlier this month after a security camera caught him walking around fully nude at a shopping mall, reports the New Orleans Times-Picayune. The North Shore Square mall's (search) security guards spotted Rev. Shawn Boylan standing in front of the box-office window at the Cinema 6 as if he was buying a ticket. Normal enough, except for the fact that it was 3:30 a.m. and Boylan was stark naked. By the time the cops came, Rev. Boylan was pulling on his pants. The resident of nearby Lacombe explained that he was simply taking a photograph of himself nude in a public place, something he did often. Sure enough, there was a digital still camera mounted on a tripod at the scene. Police yanked out the memory card and issued him a summons on the spot. "The officers should have taken a picture of him being cited so he could add that to his collection as well," Slidell police Capt. Rob Callahan told the newspaper. Rev. Boylan could not be reached for comment at the Holy Family Christian Care Prayer Center.

Delta Air Lines In Court After Sex Toy Incident
ATLANTA -- The case of the airline passenger and the sex toy will be heard Friday in federal appeals court in Atlanta. Renee Koutsouradis was on a Delta Air Lines jet awaiting takeoff in Dallas when she was taken off the plane because something was buzzing in her luggage. She told a Delta security agent it was likely a sex toy, which she and her husband had just bought during a trip to Las Vegas. The woman said she was ordered to take the vibrator out of the bag, hold it up and remove the batteries in full view of some of the other passengers. She also claimed a Delta baggage handler licked his lips and made sexually inappropriate comments. Her lawsuit against the Atlanta-based airline claims she has suffered nightmares and panic attacks because of Delta's handling of the vibrator incident. A lower court judge dismissed the case.

Hey, I saw pictures and at 18 inchs long I would have been scared if she pulled it out sitting next to me in business class. Flyer miles be damned.

Today’s Poem:

To the Poor
CHILD of distress, who meet'st the bitter scorn
Of fellow-men to happier prospects born,
Doomed Art and Nature's various stores to see
Flow in full cups of joy, -- and not for thee;
Who seest the rich, to heaven and fate resigned,
Bear thy afflictions with a patient mind;
Whose bursting heart disdains unjust control,
Who feel'st oppression's iron in thy soul,
Who dragg'st the load of faint and feeble years,
Whose bread is anguish, and whose water tears;
Bear, bear thy wrongs--fulfill thy destined hour,
Bend thy meek neck beneath the foot of Power;
But when thou feel'st the great deliverer nigh,
And thy freed spirit mounting seeks the sky,
Let no vain fears thy parting hour molest,
No whispered terrors shake thy quiet breast:
Think not their threats can work thy future woe.
Nor deem the Lord above like lords below;
Safe in the bosom of that love repose
By whom the sun gives light, the ocean flows;
Prepare to meet a Father undismayed,
Nor fear the God whom priests and kings have made.

Anna Letitia Barbauld

Mental Illness and/or Defect of the Day:
Schizotypal Personality: A pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1 ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference)
2 odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is
3 inconsistent with subcultural norms (e.g., superstitiousness, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, or "sixth sense"; in children and adolescents, bizarre fantasies or preoccupations)
4 unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions
5 odd thinking and speech (e.g., vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, overelaborate, or stereotyped)
6 suspiciousness or paranoid ideation
7 inappropriate or constricted affect
8 behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar
9 lack of close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
10 excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self

Does not occur exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features, another Psychotic Disorder, or a Pervasive Developmental Disorder.
The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.

Today’s Bar Trick:
THE BOTTLE ROCKET TRICK
Get an empty bottle of Stoly Vodka . Using hot water, warm the outside bottom of the bottle -- making sure not to get any water in it. Take a straw & insert a toothpick into it about 1" down from the top (making it look like a giant " t "). Now, put the long end of the straw into the bottle. Ask a bar guest if they can remove the straw without touching the bottle or the straw with any part of the body, and without using an object to knock over the bottle or pull out the straw. Here's how its done: Light a match, drop it in and stand clear. ( Make sure not to have the straw facing anybody ) You'll be amazed! The effect should be: The straw shooting out of the bottle about 20' in the air. PLEASE USE CAUTION with this trick. This is also fun at Wakes and Bar Mitzvahs.

Joke of the Day:
This guy walks into a bar over in Ohio and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says, "You ain't from around here. Where you from, boy?"

The guy says, "I'm from Indianapolis."
The bartender asks, "What do you do up in Indianapolis?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... what in thee Hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, "It's OK fellers, he's one of us!"

Today’s New Word:
Aberzombie: Noun; Young men and women and/or gay men past the age of 50 years old who in an effort to feel good, cool, hip or in some cases to feel young, resort to wearing layer upon layer outlet store Abercrombie clothing. In the 1990’s the same creature could be observed wearing objects from the Tommy Hilfiger line. “Don't look now but here comes an aberzombie”


Today’s Greek Mythology:
Iakchos ( Iacchus )
Minor Greek deity associated with the Eleusinian Mysteries. He was considered the son of Demeter or Persephone. Possibly the husband of Demeter. In the mysteries, his name was invoked in connection with those of Demeter and Persephone. Some believe Iakchos to be identical with Dionysos (as Bacchus) or Zagreus. He was depicted bearing a torch and leading the participants in the mysteries.

Today’s Phrase:
Ballin' out of control: Ballin' refers to making a lot of money. The origin comes from selling "balls" of crack cocaine. A "ball" of crack is larger than a "rock" but smaller than a "boulder." A "baller" is one who sells "balls," and consequently is bringing in "hella scrills." "He jus' be ballin' out of control since he started workin' for his self."

Today’s Bill:
SONNET 123
No, Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change:
Thy pyramids built up with newer might
To me are nothing novel, nothing strange;
They are but dressings of a former sight.
Our dates are brief, and therefore we admire
What thou dost foist upon us that is old,
And rather make them born to our desire
Than think that we before have heard them told.
Thy registers and thee I both defy,
Not wondering at the present nor the past,
For thy records and what we see doth lie,
Made more or less by thy continual haste.
This I do vow and this shall ever be;
I will be true, despite thy scythe and thee.

Quote of the Day:
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146
German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

Dei delitti a delle pene, I remain:

JQP