I’m sitting at the bus depot, rolling my own cigarettes, waiting for the Plasma Center to open:

Thought for the Day:
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.
H. L. Mencken, 'Prejudices: Fourth Series,' 1924


(“JQP is the mighty fist of God” Nolff, Lord of the Monkey-Shark Hybrids)

On this Morning:

I woke-up at 3:11 AM

I woke my Bride up at 3:14

We got out of bed at 4:45

I dressed her and helped her pack

I put my Flower on an aero-plane.

Mama’s gone for the weekend…

I thought to myself, “Self, you could get into a lot of trouble” I said “Yeap”.

I get home and find out she had taken my credit cards and my ATM card and left me with McDonalds gift certificates and 11 dollars.

I think… I am going to try to exercise some self control this weekend and not get into any trouble.

I had a bacon-egg-cheese biscuit, hash brown and coffee for breakfast.



Your Drinks for the Week:

The Super Dave Cocktail

Drink Ingredients
1/5 Grenadine
1/5 Amaretto
1/5 Blue Curacao
1/5 Bailey's Irish Cream
1/5 Melon liqueur

Instruction
Pour each ingredient slowly down the side of a glass, in order, they will settle nicely layered. I am told it also forms a strong adhesive bond and is currently being tested by NASA.

Adios Motherfucker

Drink Ingredients
1 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. Jose Cuervo Dark Tequila

Instruction
Layer in a shot glass. I love buying this for annoying frat boys and/or ex-jocks, order in 3’s, have them shoot all three. There is something about this that if they have been drinking beer, three will make them stupid (more so) and then very sick. I like to roll them in the ally afterward. Hey, how do you think I got this Pike money clip and this neat Rolex watch (Love Mom and Dad 2001).

The Hairy Mexican

Drink Ingredients
1 Part Peach Schnapps
1 Part Real Cheap Tequila

Instruction
Mix tequila and peach schnapps into a big glass with ice. Shake well and strain into shot glass. Can't even taste the tequila, you might even have a chance at getting laid before she pukes all over the inside of your Hummer.

The Manchurian Candidate

Drink Ingredients
1 shot Stoli Vodka
1 dash Soy Sauce

Instruction
First pour vodka, then soy sauce, into the shot glass. Give someone six of these and you don’t need to waterboard them.

Your Bill for the Day:
"O, what men dare do! What men may do! What men daily
do, not knowing what they do!"
Much Ado About Nothing (IV, i, 19-21)

Quote of the Day:
The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.
Oscar Wilde

I remain, you ever more humble servant:

JQP Esq.