Borsht again for supper?
It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are full of the truthless ideal which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded. W. Somerset Maugham, 'Of Human Bondage', 1915
The Final Day(s) of the “JQP’s First Annual Viewers Choice Awards
for “Tattoo of the Year”. There will be two categories, One for those readers who proudly wear their ink, and the second for found art, ie: pic’s of tattoos you scammed off the ‘net. That means I expect to see yours Dobbs and Indy… Call before midnight tonight, and remember to add water, it makes its own sauce.
On the subject of Dating and Remarriage:
Being a man, I approach problems with a process unique to my gender. That chiefly being “What can I do that requires the least amount of effort and gains the maximum reward of pleasure”.
Let’s apply this thought process to the subject of dating. I have several friends who have never been married, more still who are divorced, and they all say the same things, “dating sucks, finding a girl sucks, it sucks not getting laid”. Well fret not 21st Century male, you don’t need to resort to becoming a metro-sexual or going out with the crazy chic who has the mood swings in hope you get a hand job after dropping 200 bills on dinner. I have the answer.
What’s one thing men like to do? Besides drink beer, looks at tits and fart? (Wait a minute I can incorporate those things into this as well, damn am I good) They like to buy cars. Men, love to buy cars, compare that to taking a man clothes shopping, a guy walks into a store and if it fits and its clean its good enough, but send him car shopping and there is a good chance he will research the style, type and cost of the car he wants (perhaps the first time his home computer is used for more than looking at porn and/or sports websites) and he will look at over 100 cars before he picks “the right one”. How can we take this strength and apply it to today’s man? It’s easy friends, mail order brides.
First off think lease, not purchase. Hit one of the hundreds of websites catering to women from third world shit holes looking for a better life. They even do the pre-screening for you; these women are so desperate they will sleep with someone the likes of you.
Now some, if not most men have a problem with the concept of marriage, this changes the way you view it, look at it as a temporary thing, a lease if you will. You hit the website and chose say “Talia” who is 21 and likes clubbing, puppies and making love on the beach, you fly to Mother Russia, impress her with your hair plugs, pictures of your yellow Mustang and 401k, drop 5 to 8 grand to marry her, bring her back and you have about 3 maybe 4 years of having a trophy wife.
For starters, she doesn’t speak the language, so it will take her time to learn it so she can hook up with someone better and/or find a job. The plus side is when she is bitching at you, you don’t understand a damn thing she is saying, it makes it easy to just look at her with that “dumb far off look” all of us men get when our spouses are raising hell with us about something.
After she has been here for a while and gone through the citizenship classes there is a 90% chance she will drop you tired old creepy ass, like a bad habit. Brother, don’t be despondent, look at it as returning the car to the dealer, the end of the lease if you will. Dude, she was so last years model anyway, time to get something hot and sporty that handles well, and you start the process all over again. Problem solved.
I have included a few samples for your further education on the subject. I set up a profile on one of those sites using pictures of my good friend and colleague from my Eaton days, Tattoo John; who is currently conducting field research in Hawaii on the sexual practices of third generation Asian American women ages 21 to 30.
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Irina5179
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=unforgiven
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=zhukiasi
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=talia22
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Happy-face
However, a few words of caution. Things to remember, there is a good chance that your mail-order-bride could be nuts just like the girls here at home. Remember, a Borderline Personality Disorder is the same no matter what language they speak. There is also chance that sweet little Tinia could get a few cocktails in her and go to work on you with a butcher knife, just because you left your shoes in the living room again.
(In my travels, I have learned that personal hygiene is not the same the world over)
And perhaps worse of all, she could talk you into bringing her family over, fucking hell, brother man, all four could happen. Crazy, vodka swilling, knife wielding, smelly wife and your in-laws living with you, hello living hell.
Today’s Bill:
Hamlet: Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?
Polonius: By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed.
Hamlet: Methinks it is like a weasel.
Polonius: It is backed like a weasel.
Hamlet: Or like a whale?
Polonius: Very like a whale.
William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 3 scene 2
Quote of the Day:
I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs. Samuel Goldwyn
I remain, a professional in matters of the heart:
JQP esq.
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