Tuesday, September 27, 2005

On Why I Quit Seminary:

(Or my “Religious post for the Week”)

God Blames churchsign

Thought for the Day:
Don't worry about avoiding temptation ... as you grow older, it will avoid you.
Winston Churchill

On having the Fundamentalists run things:
I would like to say I have discussed this with my fundamentalist friends, but that would be a lie. I don’t have any fundamentalist friends, a few Jews and one or two Prots but no fundies. That being said their voice remains un-heard on these pages. But fret not; you can always turn on C-SPAN or PTL to see what’s on their daily to-do list.

That being said, I remember them standing in the street corners proudly proclaiming their brand of Christianity, offering up as proof that through prayer their fundie president got into the White House and that God’s hand guides both him and them. That God as they saw him/her would be calling the shots.

Well, let’s just take a little look at that. Under the fundie leadership we have had one major terrorist attack, two wars (on-going) three hurricanes (bet these folks in LA wish W had another brother as their governor, FEMA has their shit together when they roll into Fla. and Texas). More people than ever behind bars, more poor than ever, and our country is more pulled apart over beliefs more than at anytime since the civil war. Sounds like the big-man upstairs is laying out some judgment. But like the Pharisees, those folks just don’t get it.

Whats next:
bugs

So here is a great idea for fundie children everywhere, to let them know that God is an angry God, and he is going to stomp their mama and daddies wickedness right along with everyone else. http://www.jewishstore.com/Judaica/Products.asp?ProdID=RL-TYPupTen

I should be careful, I don’t think they have the internet at Gimo, or at the Evangelical run Re-Education camps the governor is wanting to set-up in southern Adams County.

I was asked:
“JQP what’s your view on religion?” I replied, do you mean religion or spirituality? I have a few views… first as for “spirituality”, I have seen people use that as a catch all and/or a cop-out, to avoid looking into their place or their souls in the world/life and I have seen people who I know to be very spiritual but not at all religious.

Who the hell am I to judge, to answer it all, I look at it under the gasoline model, I myself am a BP man, I will drive to the next exit just to fill up with BP, it works for me, Pastor Bob is a Marathon fan, and Mrs. JQP is whatever is the cheapest gas buyer. In the end, it doesn’t matter what brand of gas you put in your car, just that you put gas in your car and it runs. Perhaps using this model, I will at sometime apply the high price of gas to it and see what comes up, but that’s something for a later time.

On Prayer:
Now I know it comes as a shock to many of you, but I go to church, well we call it going to Mass and yes, I am involved in my parish. I pray about three times a day, often with the sweet and loving Mrs. JQP. That being said I want to share a little spiritual exercise I did not long ago. I started asking God to keep me strong in the face of temptation, a switch from asking for strength and forgiveness.

About two weeks into this new course of prayerful action, I had temptation hunting my skinny white ass down. Shit Brothers and Sisters, I had old girl friends I had not seen and/or talked to in 5 years calling me up out of the blue wanting a little JQP loving on the side. It taught me a valuable lesson, be very careful what you ask for and don’t be too confident in your abilities. In my experience the good Lord likes humble.

Your God Fearing recipes for the Week:

John the Baptist Snack
Ingredients:
• crescent roll dough
• raisins and pretzels
• honey
Directions:
1. Use Crescent Roll dough and shaped them into "bugs"
2. Use raisins for eyes, pretzel sticks for antennae and legs.
3. After baking, brush them with honey and the children enjoy locusts with honey!

All the Saints Love Red Squash Sambals
(This really is good)
Ingredients:

1 pound squash or pumpkin (no, not that tinned stuff: fresh) preferably butternut squash or pumpkin
1 medium onion
2 cups beef stock
Desiccated coconut soaked in half a cup of milk or 6ounces of coconut cream
3 fresh red chilis or1 Habanero or half a capsicum, if you want it mild.
1 dessert teaspoonful of vinegar
Directions:
Peel, seed, and grate the pumpkin
(although I have just cut it into 1-inch chunks when pressed for time).
Chop the onion very fine and shred the chili into very thin slices.
Boil the pumpkin in the stock until soft enough to mash, drain.
Mash the pumpkin with some butter and stir in all the other ingredients.
Chill the mixture before serving.

Jew’s For Jesus Chicken Paprika:
(a new twist on the Gospel Bird)
Chicken is extremely popular in Israel, because it is relatively inexpensive and can be prepared in many ways. Chicken paprika is, of course, a Hungarian Jewish variation. With the amount of chicken Israelis consume, it is hard to imagine a family going without it for very long.

1 - 4 lb. pullet
3 tbs. flour
2 tbs. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
4 tbs. chicken fat or margarine
1-1/2 cups sliced onion
1 tbs. paprika
1 cup boiling water

Cut up chicken and season with flour, salt and pepper. Brown chicken in the fat (or margarine). Remove chicken and brown onions in remaining fat (or margarine). Return chicken to the pan, sprinkle with paprika and add water. Cover and cook over low heat for 1-1/2 hours or until chicken is tender.

Today’s Bill:
Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.
William Shakespeare

Quote of the Day:
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates

Runner up:
There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken." ~Stephen R. Donaldson, White Gold Wielder

I remain, not lost when the time comes:

Rev. JQP