Thursday, April 13, 2006

No-Love-Thursday:

Thought for the Day:
Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
Abraham Lincoln

Pondering Lent and NLT:
DSC01209
At this point I do not plan on being in attendance when the countless legions of card carrying members of this the most venerable of drinking clubs meets this evening. I should however note that my views on this are very much subject to change.

I think I have found a loophole in the end of Lent for yours truly. In looking up Canon Law last night at the church where I volunteer (Monday I knit socks for the soldiers, Tues. I read to the blind, Wed. I teach an ESL CCD class at my parish, Thurs. I minister to the down trodden, alcoholics & women of questionable virtue, & Fridays I volunteer at the orphanage, I am a giver that way, however weekends are mine, damn-it)

I think that if I go to noon Mass at the Cathedral, thus hitting Maundy (or Holy) Thursday I am clear on the lent stuff i.e. not drinking.

For you Prots: "Maundy Thursday was taken up with a succession of ceremonies of character, the baptism of neophytes, the reconciliation of penitents, the consecration of the holy oils, the washing of the feet, and commemoration of the Eucharist".

I even trimmed my toe nails and everything, that and a few Hail Mary’s and I think I am good to go. I so rock at the church law stuff. I have a legal mind you know and this year I think I might finally pass the bar exam.

3 Real Life Examples of No-Love:

Example 1:
I was talking about someone with another professional and I heard the following “That ol’ boy’s so stupid his underpants are color coordinated.” I asked: “What?” The speaker went on to say, “Yeap, Yellow in the Front and Brown in the back” I love consulting with like minds.

Example 2:
mad as hell woman
My loving wife has PMS, in the course of one hour she wanted to A) Have a morning quickie. B) Felt she was fat and her skin (yes, her skin) hurt. C) Wanted to carve my eyeballs out with a soup spoon.

Needless to say, angry sex, with a fat woman, whose skin hurts, holding a soup spoon was not high on my list this morning, at which point I was called a fucker and told I don't love her.

I being clever, un-assed the area before she could make it to the lighter fluid or the gun cabinet. If your reading this, my petite flower, I love you and you’re the prettiest girl in the whole county.

Example 3:
The shit-fuck lightweight who threw-up all over my reserved parking spot Tues. night. That’s always nice to put your penny loafers into first thing in the morning.

Granted my parking lot is next to a well known bar (yet another occupational hazard, that daily I have to brave) but still, why couldn’t have been someone else’s spot. I’ll tell you why, it’s both an example of No-Love and of the vast right wing conspiracy. Need I say more?

In Other News:
I am taking Good Friday off so, no post. For me, it’s keep on Mrs. JQP’s good side & work on the house day. Saturday, I got invited out west, to shoot a cannon and a mortar (yes, really, I am after all a man of many talents and eccentric friends).

Officers of NLT

Sunday, we are going up to the northern lands of Michigan, to enjoy an Easter meal of fresh roast dog & root vegetables, with my wife’s primitive tribal people. Sadly, since she will be having her menses, I will not be able to enjoy her company at this meal, since as is their custom; she will be confined to the women’s hut and fed with a stick. What a fun drive home that will be.

Starting next week, I hope to be back to the poor penmanship and short bus spelling you have all grown to know and love.

Today’s Bill:
"Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much; such men are dangerous."
From Julius Caesar

Quote of the Day:
When one admits that nothing is certain one must, I think, also admit that some things are much more nearly certain than others.
Bertrand Russell

I remain, the wind beneath your wings:

JQP esq.