Tuesday, August 23, 2005

It was a quiet week in Lake Woebegone:

Thought for the Day:
You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.
Malcolm X

The Weekend:
Well, the weekend was pretty easy. Nothing happened. Nope nada. I was going to go spend some time at my brothers lake cabin, perhaps do a little fishing (damn, little, as I hate to fish), but alas no one wanted to go up. So I read a few books and ate some watermelons from a patch up in Mongo, Indiana. Now I mention these melons because they were so damn good, what is unique about them is that they are yellow inside (which is a common trait for watermelons of this isolated rural river community). They taste like honey. Folks, that was good eaten. No bar fights, no drunken roman orgies, just a quiet Hoosier weekend.

I went and had Sunday dinner with my family after Mass at a little Mexican joint, later my loving bride and I traveled around the countryside looking at old farms for sale. It’s my latest get rich scheme, heirloom livestock. Breeds of animals that were common that are now almost extinct.

“When heritage breeds become extinct, their unique genes are lost forever. When this occurs, these genes can't be used to breed new traits into existing livestock breeds (such as the ability to withstand climate changes or resist new diseases).” That and people pay top dollar for this stuff. Turkeys and hogs are the big one right now.

It’s better than my last two ideas which involved aquaponics and bat milking.

Song for the Day:
Today’s song is by that hit pop sensation “The Bellrays” give “Revolution Get Down” a spin all you hep’ cats and hip chicks.

Customer Service:
Last night, after a long day at the states capital, I found myself in need of respite, I hungered for a meal that would both fortify the body and comfort the soul. Since my loving wife was enjoying an evening with media consultants at a martini and cigar bar after which she was to be transported to an eatery via limo for a dinner that cost more than my first car, I was on my own for supper and dear reader, I knew a can of Campbell’s Tomato soup wouldn’t cut it.

So, I went to my favorite bar had a beer and ordered their famous meatloaf to go. It was after all “Meatloaf Monday”. I even went so far as to order a dbl. order of mashed potatoes, has I find them most tasty. However upon my return to the manor house, I found that my meal was sans meatloaf! How could this be?

I promptly called my favorite bar and asked how could I be with out my meatloaf? A double order of potatoes yes, fine, but no meatloaf? The barman explained that he misunderstood my order and that he was truly sorry. I sadly hung-up and ate my mashed potatoes in silence.

However about half and hour later my door bell rung, it was the hot & sexy waitress from the bar, standing there (wet and shivering, with round full pouty lips and bedroom eyes) on my doorstep, she explained that “…they felt so bad about me not getting my meatloaf they wanted to make it up for me”, I found myself hoping she was there to offer her body for my enjoyment in an effort to make amends, but dear reader that was not to be so, she produced a to-go-box that contained about 6 pounds of meatloaf, for which I was thankful even if oral sex wasn’t involved. Dear friends, this is a good example of costumer service, hats of to you in the food and beverage trade and hats off to you thoughtful, kind employees of my favorite bar.

President Watch:
I am sure many of you are watching the presidential vacation as closely as I am. So, it should come as no surprise to you that this morning the White House press secretary announced that the leader of the Free World would be taking a vacation day in Idaho to mountain bike and then have dinner with some lucky service member’s families. Poor man, I would hate for him to get too stressed out over the economy tanking, Jimmy Cater style gas prices and a war he and his merry band have been as effective in leading as an elephant tap dancing in quick sand. W is in week three of his 5 week vacation and he decided he needs a he needs a vacation from his vacation.

Getting Banged:
hunter_in_vietnam.thumb
Hunter S. Thompson, my role model & mentor was sent off last week by his close family and friends in a rather large explosion. This also makes the end of my official period of mourning.

HST wanted to go out with a bang and he did, both with the self inflicted gunshot wound and with having his ashes shot out of a cannon. There were some things with this little event that would have pissed the great man off, in my opinion. Let’s go over them; first I wasn’t on the guest list, for God’s sake the man stole a bottle of whisky from me in 1989, second the people on the guest list were politicians and movie stars and third they had SWAT teams providing security. Where was the low-life drug crazed poet-bikers and transgendered hit men? Where were the exotic dancers? …and where was the sacrificial goat? Anyway, rest in pieces great sage.

Something that made stop:
…and think. Yesterday while driving back from Indy I heard an expert on oil and the economy say something to the effect that the stone age didn’t end from lack of stones and that the oil age will not end from lack of oil.

Todays Bill:
SONNET 139
O, call not me to justify the wrong
That thy unkindness lays upon my heart;
Wound me not with thine eye but with thy tongue;
Use power with power and slay me not by art.
Tell me thou lovest elsewhere, but in my sight,
Dear heart, forbear to glance thine eye aside:
What need'st thou wound with cunning when thy might
Is more than my o'er-press'd defense can bide?
Let me excuse thee: ah! my love well knows
Her pretty looks have been mine enemies,
And therefore from my face she turns my foes,
That they elsewhere might dart their injuries:
Yet do not so; but since I am near slain,
Kill me outright with looks and rid my pain.

Quote of the Day:
He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere.
Ali ibn-Abi-Talib, (602 AD - 661 AD)

I remain, like sand in your swim suit:

JQP esq.