Giving the Dog a Bone and other Bed Time Stories:
Thought for the Day:
Don't look back: Something may be gaining on you.
Satchel Paige US baseball player (1906 - 1982)
Your spanking of the Week Goes to:
The right wing pundits who have set out to tear down a mother who lost her child in a war that in her opinion (and a growing number of other Americans) didn’t need to be fought.
There was a time when a person had a right to freedom of speech in this country, its seems those folks from the country club set seem to have forgotten that. I do have to give it to her. It was a brilliant strategy, setting up out side W’s ranch while he takes his much needed 5 week vacation, what else was the worlds press going to cover of in the middle of no-where TX?
Today:
I find myself a bit moody. More so since my loving bride told me that today she will once again be hitting the road and that I should expect her back at the manor house on Sunday. Yet, another weekend with limited opportunity to fulfill my “man-needs”.
Last Night:
I did cross the street to my favorite bar for an hour. During which time I bemoaned my up coming class reunion (more on that later) and slammed shots of Rumplemizt, which to my benefit made my leg quit hurting. My loving bride got home and cooked me one of her standard meals: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with Hamburger Stakes, a filling meal that I found to be most satisfying.
After dinner, I took it upon myself to teach the hounds some new tricks, using something I had seen in passing on the Animal Planet as my guide. I threw my bride’s words of caution to the wind and started my instruction. Sadly, this also involved a quick trip to see my old friends at the ER.
It seems in the excitement of learning one of the hounds bit me. Yes, she bit me in the face, the nose to be more precise, which resulted in only 6 stitches and half a dozen “I told you so’s” from my loving wife. Needless to say the old adage about teaching old dogs new tricks does in this case hold very true.
When we returned from the hospital she & I spent the rest of the evening in the blissful embrace that only deep loving thoughts can convey, enjoying the poetry of our mature love.
Your Drinks for the Weekend:
Twenty Thousand Leagues Drink Recipe
(I love this one A) three of them will put you under and B) because, I have a bottle of Pernod and can never come up with a drink to put it in)
Drink Ingredients:
1 oz. Dry Vermouth
2 dashes Orange Bitters
Crushed Ice
2 shots of. Pernod
1 1/2 oz. Gin
Instruction:
In a mixing glass half-filled with crushed ice, combine all of the ingredients. Stir well. Strain into a cocktail glass.
G-Cubed Drink Recipe
Drink Ingredients:
6 Ounces Ginger Ale
2 1/2 shots Galliano
6 Ounces of Grapefruit juice (Gatorade can be a white-trash substitute)
Instruction:
Pour the Galliano liqueur over ice. Fill the remainder of the glass with ginger ale and thats all there is to it. You now have a your very own GG.
Your Recipe for the Weekend:
(This is one of JQP’s favorite things in the whole wide world, I eat it for breakfast.)
Shrimp and Grits
Ingredients
6 cups water
6 cups cream (milk, if you have to use it)
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
4 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 cups white grits (NOT instant or Quick Cooking, I use stone ground)
16 Oz. finely grated white cheddar cheese (optional)
1 pound fresh shrimp, shelled and de-veined
Salt and Pepper to taste
Directions
In a large saucepan, over medium heat, combine the water, cream, salt, pepper and 2 tablespoons of the butter. Bring the liquid to a gentle boil. Stir in the grits. Cook for 1 hour and 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. (**The grits will stick to the bottom of the pan, so make sure not to scrape the bottom of the pan. If the grits absorbed all of the water, add some hot water to thin out the grits.) Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the remaining 2 tablespoons butter and cheese if desired.
In a separate pot add shrimp to boiling water. Cook for 3 minutes. Add shrimp to grits and season to taste with salt and pepper.
Words for the Day:
jaggy bunnet:
Scottish slang. Another name for the oral sex proformed on a male.
Example:
"Wee Ally McCoist scored a great goal wi the jaggy bunnet"
"Am gonnae stick the jaggy bunnet in you fur yer cheek"
Bermuda Triangle:
a) Also Known as The Devils Triangle, located off the coast of Fla, Cuba and the Bahamas. where many planes and boats have vanished.
b)A sexual position often known as 69, in which both people involved, lick the anus of their partner.
c) Slang for well used female sex organs, (see also: alcove, bat cave, bear trap, bearded clam, bearded taco, beaver, box, bucket seat, cake, chuff box, cockpit, cooch, coochie, coochie-pop, coose, cooter, cooze, crack, crawl space, cum depository, cum dumpster, cuntcake, cunt, cunny, donut, dripping delta, felted mound, fillet-o-fish, finger hut, fish, fish taco, front bum, fly catcher, fuckhole, garage, gash, gates of Heaven, golden doorway, Grand Canyon, growler, hatchet wound, heaven's door, hole, honey cave, honey pot, hot box, jaws of Hell, lobster pot, loins, loose meat sandwich, lotus, love box, love canal, lower lips, meat wallet, muff, nooch, nook, nookie, peach, pearly panty gates, pocket, poon, poontang, purse, pussy, quiff, quim, rat trap, scratch, sheath, slash, slit, snapper, snatch, space, split, stench trench, tampon socket, temple, thingy, tool shed, tuna, tunnel, twat, undercut, vagina, vertical smile, wishing well, whisker box, womb, x, yoni)
Example:
"Before we had anal sex her ass, we visited the Bermuda Triangle."
"Man, in high school Suzi was known as the Bermuda Triangle."
Your Bill for the Day:
SONNET 50
How heavy do I journey on the way,
When what I seek, my weary travel's end,
Doth teach that ease and that repose to say
'Thus far the miles are measured from thy friend!'
The beast that bears me, tired with my woe,
Plods dully on, to bear that weight in me,
As if by some instinct the wretch did know
His rider loved not speed, being made from thee:
The bloody spur cannot provoke him on
That sometimes anger thrusts into his hide;
Which heavily he answers with a groan,
More sharp to me than spurring to his side;
For that same groan doth put this in my mind;
My grief lies onward and my joy behind.
Quote of the Day:
Justice is the end of government. It is the end of civil society. It ever has been and ever will be pursued until it be obtained, or until liberty be lost in the pursuit. In a society under the forms of which the stronger faction can readily unite and oppress the weaker, anarchy may as truly be said to reign as in a state of nature, where the weaker individual is not secured against the violence of the stronger; and as, in the latter state, even the individuals are prompted, by the uncertainty of their condition, to submit to a government which may protect the weak as well as themselves; so, in the former state, will the more powerful factions or parties be gradually induced, by a like motive to wish for a government which will protect all parties, the weaker as well as the more powerful.
Alexander Hamilton US lawyer & politician (1755 - 1804)
I remain, like an ingrown hair on the ass of your life:
JQP esq.
Don't look back: Something may be gaining on you.
Satchel Paige US baseball player (1906 - 1982)
Your spanking of the Week Goes to:
The right wing pundits who have set out to tear down a mother who lost her child in a war that in her opinion (and a growing number of other Americans) didn’t need to be fought.
There was a time when a person had a right to freedom of speech in this country, its seems those folks from the country club set seem to have forgotten that. I do have to give it to her. It was a brilliant strategy, setting up out side W’s ranch while he takes his much needed 5 week vacation, what else was the worlds press going to cover of in the middle of no-where TX?
Today:
I find myself a bit moody. More so since my loving bride told me that today she will once again be hitting the road and that I should expect her back at the manor house on Sunday. Yet, another weekend with limited opportunity to fulfill my “man-needs”.
Last Night:
I did cross the street to my favorite bar for an hour. During which time I bemoaned my up coming class reunion (more on that later) and slammed shots of Rumplemizt, which to my benefit made my leg quit hurting. My loving bride got home and cooked me one of her standard meals: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with Hamburger Stakes, a filling meal that I found to be most satisfying.
After dinner, I took it upon myself to teach the hounds some new tricks, using something I had seen in passing on the Animal Planet as my guide. I threw my bride’s words of caution to the wind and started my instruction. Sadly, this also involved a quick trip to see my old friends at the ER.
It seems in the excitement of learning one of the hounds bit me. Yes, she bit me in the face, the nose to be more precise, which resulted in only 6 stitches and half a dozen “I told you so’s” from my loving wife. Needless to say the old adage about teaching old dogs new tricks does in this case hold very true.
When we returned from the hospital she & I spent the rest of the evening in the blissful embrace that only deep loving thoughts can convey, enjoying the poetry of our mature love.
Your Drinks for the Weekend:
Twenty Thousand Leagues Drink Recipe
(I love this one A) three of them will put you under and B) because, I have a bottle of Pernod and can never come up with a drink to put it in)
Drink Ingredients:
1 oz. Dry Vermouth
2 dashes Orange Bitters
Crushed Ice
2 shots of. Pernod
1 1/2 oz. Gin
Instruction:
In a mixing glass half-filled with crushed ice, combine all of the ingredients. Stir well. Strain into a cocktail glass.
G-Cubed Drink Recipe
Drink Ingredients:
6 Ounces Ginger Ale
2 1/2 shots Galliano
6 Ounces of Grapefruit juice (Gatorade can be a white-trash substitute)
Instruction:
Pour the Galliano liqueur over ice. Fill the remainder of the glass with ginger ale and thats all there is to it. You now have a your very own GG.
Your Recipe for the Weekend:
(This is one of JQP’s favorite things in the whole wide world, I eat it for breakfast.)
Shrimp and Grits
Ingredients
6 cups water
6 cups cream (milk, if you have to use it)
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
4 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 cups white grits (NOT instant or Quick Cooking, I use stone ground)
16 Oz. finely grated white cheddar cheese (optional)
1 pound fresh shrimp, shelled and de-veined
Salt and Pepper to taste
Directions
In a large saucepan, over medium heat, combine the water, cream, salt, pepper and 2 tablespoons of the butter. Bring the liquid to a gentle boil. Stir in the grits. Cook for 1 hour and 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. (**The grits will stick to the bottom of the pan, so make sure not to scrape the bottom of the pan. If the grits absorbed all of the water, add some hot water to thin out the grits.) Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the remaining 2 tablespoons butter and cheese if desired.
In a separate pot add shrimp to boiling water. Cook for 3 minutes. Add shrimp to grits and season to taste with salt and pepper.
Words for the Day:
jaggy bunnet:
Scottish slang. Another name for the oral sex proformed on a male.
Example:
"Wee Ally McCoist scored a great goal wi the jaggy bunnet"
"Am gonnae stick the jaggy bunnet in you fur yer cheek"
Bermuda Triangle:
a) Also Known as The Devils Triangle, located off the coast of Fla, Cuba and the Bahamas. where many planes and boats have vanished.
b)A sexual position often known as 69, in which both people involved, lick the anus of their partner.
c) Slang for well used female sex organs, (see also: alcove, bat cave, bear trap, bearded clam, bearded taco, beaver, box, bucket seat, cake, chuff box, cockpit, cooch, coochie, coochie-pop, coose, cooter, cooze, crack, crawl space, cum depository, cum dumpster, cuntcake, cunt, cunny, donut, dripping delta, felted mound, fillet-o-fish, finger hut, fish, fish taco, front bum, fly catcher, fuckhole, garage, gash, gates of Heaven, golden doorway, Grand Canyon, growler, hatchet wound, heaven's door, hole, honey cave, honey pot, hot box, jaws of Hell, lobster pot, loins, loose meat sandwich, lotus, love box, love canal, lower lips, meat wallet, muff, nooch, nook, nookie, peach, pearly panty gates, pocket, poon, poontang, purse, pussy, quiff, quim, rat trap, scratch, sheath, slash, slit, snapper, snatch, space, split, stench trench, tampon socket, temple, thingy, tool shed, tuna, tunnel, twat, undercut, vagina, vertical smile, wishing well, whisker box, womb, x, yoni)
Example:
"Before we had anal sex her ass, we visited the Bermuda Triangle."
"Man, in high school Suzi was known as the Bermuda Triangle."
Your Bill for the Day:
SONNET 50
How heavy do I journey on the way,
When what I seek, my weary travel's end,
Doth teach that ease and that repose to say
'Thus far the miles are measured from thy friend!'
The beast that bears me, tired with my woe,
Plods dully on, to bear that weight in me,
As if by some instinct the wretch did know
His rider loved not speed, being made from thee:
The bloody spur cannot provoke him on
That sometimes anger thrusts into his hide;
Which heavily he answers with a groan,
More sharp to me than spurring to his side;
For that same groan doth put this in my mind;
My grief lies onward and my joy behind.
Quote of the Day:
Justice is the end of government. It is the end of civil society. It ever has been and ever will be pursued until it be obtained, or until liberty be lost in the pursuit. In a society under the forms of which the stronger faction can readily unite and oppress the weaker, anarchy may as truly be said to reign as in a state of nature, where the weaker individual is not secured against the violence of the stronger; and as, in the latter state, even the individuals are prompted, by the uncertainty of their condition, to submit to a government which may protect the weak as well as themselves; so, in the former state, will the more powerful factions or parties be gradually induced, by a like motive to wish for a government which will protect all parties, the weaker as well as the more powerful.
Alexander Hamilton US lawyer & politician (1755 - 1804)
I remain, like an ingrown hair on the ass of your life:
JQP esq.
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 4:03 AM
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