Joyeux anniversaire à moi:
Thought for the Day:
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Doug Larson
The Birthday Boy:
While this is not an actual picture of me, please let is serve has a visual representation of myself for those of you who have not met me, but offen think of me in special ways during your periods of self abuse.
Attack on the Inland Seas:
Last Night, while waiting on a meeting with some covert operatives that I had last employed in my mission against Author Anderson, I was joined at the bar by Tony Two Times and “M. Chamberlain, Newspaper Man”, and what I wonderful chat we had about; the 58 Mets, and the meaning of post modern art in today’s post industrial society.
While, enjoying fruity drinks with little umbrellas on the Promenade Deck, the phone rang, it was Pastor Bob calling on ship-to-shore from his 1/3 scale replica of Kon Tiki that he is sailing around the Cape of Detroit with his family, you an avid reader know how Pastor Bob always has felt the call of the sea.
It seems that several days ago, he had to fight off a boarding attempt by Drunken Canadians in Bass Boats, who were hell bent on exacting revenge on Americas, blaming us for the canceling of the NHL season. He fought them off by throwing cans of Weidman’s Beer and Culari tipped spears he keeps on hand for just such events.
Yet another Example of why I quit teaching middle school:
Today is the Day of the Steak:
I live for steaks, I love steaks, and today it is steaks for me. Steak and eggs, Philly steak, 16oz T-Bones, Rib Eye, Sirloin, its all good… My goal today is to eat a princely portion of a bovine. Meat: its whats for Dinner!
Party on a Tuesday? Why not:
Tonight my loving and petite bride is throwing me a surprise birthday party at my favorite bar; it starts at 4:00pm and ends when we are done. You are all welcome, please bring gifts.
Sweet Dreams and Early Presents:
This morning I found myself in a rather odd dream, yes it was odd for even me. I dreamt that I was making love with Marilyn Monroe, while Joe DiMaggio and JFK watched. I am sure you have had a dream much like it at one time or another, however two things came to mind for me, one was that I really wanted Joe to sign a baseball for me, so I could sell it on E-Bayand two that I really had to pee.
It was then I realized this was no dream. Let me explain, during the wee hours of this morning, my sweet and loving bride had crawled on top of me and was in the process of riding me like a circus pony.
At which point she started singing to me “happy birthday, JQP…. happy birthday…JQP haaaa-ppp-y birrrrthday”. Needless to say it beat getting a tie or aftershave. There is something intently wonderful about morning sex, its even better when you do it with someone..
Your Bill for the Day:
"When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"
--From Macbeth (I, i, 1-2)
Quote for the Day:
The Military has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.
Tom LehrerUS humorist, singer, & songwriter (1928 - )
I remain, well oiled and naked all but for my cowboy boots:
JQP esq.
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Doug Larson
The Birthday Boy:
While this is not an actual picture of me, please let is serve has a visual representation of myself for those of you who have not met me, but offen think of me in special ways during your periods of self abuse.
Attack on the Inland Seas:
Last Night, while waiting on a meeting with some covert operatives that I had last employed in my mission against Author Anderson, I was joined at the bar by Tony Two Times and “M. Chamberlain, Newspaper Man”, and what I wonderful chat we had about; the 58 Mets, and the meaning of post modern art in today’s post industrial society.
While, enjoying fruity drinks with little umbrellas on the Promenade Deck, the phone rang, it was Pastor Bob calling on ship-to-shore from his 1/3 scale replica of Kon Tiki that he is sailing around the Cape of Detroit with his family, you an avid reader know how Pastor Bob always has felt the call of the sea.
It seems that several days ago, he had to fight off a boarding attempt by Drunken Canadians in Bass Boats, who were hell bent on exacting revenge on Americas, blaming us for the canceling of the NHL season. He fought them off by throwing cans of Weidman’s Beer and Culari tipped spears he keeps on hand for just such events.
Yet another Example of why I quit teaching middle school:
Today is the Day of the Steak:
I live for steaks, I love steaks, and today it is steaks for me. Steak and eggs, Philly steak, 16oz T-Bones, Rib Eye, Sirloin, its all good… My goal today is to eat a princely portion of a bovine. Meat: its whats for Dinner!
Party on a Tuesday? Why not:
Tonight my loving and petite bride is throwing me a surprise birthday party at my favorite bar; it starts at 4:00pm and ends when we are done. You are all welcome, please bring gifts.
Sweet Dreams and Early Presents:
This morning I found myself in a rather odd dream, yes it was odd for even me. I dreamt that I was making love with Marilyn Monroe, while Joe DiMaggio and JFK watched. I am sure you have had a dream much like it at one time or another, however two things came to mind for me, one was that I really wanted Joe to sign a baseball for me, so I could sell it on E-Bayand two that I really had to pee.
It was then I realized this was no dream. Let me explain, during the wee hours of this morning, my sweet and loving bride had crawled on top of me and was in the process of riding me like a circus pony.
At which point she started singing to me “happy birthday, JQP…. happy birthday…JQP haaaa-ppp-y birrrrthday”. Needless to say it beat getting a tie or aftershave. There is something intently wonderful about morning sex, its even better when you do it with someone..
Your Bill for the Day:
"When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"
--From Macbeth (I, i, 1-2)
Quote for the Day:
The Military has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.
Tom LehrerUS humorist, singer, & songwriter (1928 - )
I remain, well oiled and naked all but for my cowboy boots:
JQP esq.
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 4:56 AM
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