Ode the this Great State:
You’re a Hoosier:
If you experience all 4 seasons in the same week.
Your current governor is white trashy enough that he drives around in an RV with graffiti all over it proudly.
If you know "road apples" are NOT edible.
If you had to quit dating your first boyfriend/girlfriend because when you brought them home to meet your parents, you were informed they were your grandpa's brothers wife’s uncles cousin, so that makes them "kin"
If your from the NE part of the state, someone in the previous generation migrated here from Kentucky (Knox or Perry county) to work in a foundry because they are "safer" than the coal mines.
If you noticed all your local law enforcement officers grew mustaches (including the females) after the movie "super troopers" was released.
If taking a shower involves "worshing" your hairIf within the last 6 months you have gotten sloppy ass drunk off of Boones Farm wine, went cow tipping and claim it's the most fun you've had since your high school prom.
If you know what "cow tipping" is.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
through18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food
will swim by, you might live in Indiana.
You have two favorite places to eat; one serves fried fish and the other pork tenderloins.
If you’re local Dairy Queen is closed from November through
March, you might live in Indiana.
You or a member of your family is on a volunteer fire department.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out
of the year, you might live in Indiana.
You can name 6 places in four counties to stop in a get a slice of homemade pie and a bottomless cup of coffee.
If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't
work there, you might live in Indiana.
If you have ever gotten into a fight over John Deere vs. Massy Ferguson.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the
middle of his forehead, you might live in Indiana.
If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Indiana.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you
might live in Indiana.
If members of the same family have gotten jail time and advanced degrees.
If you still give a preference to shopping at Mom and Pop places.
You know someone who is not a baseball player who dips snuff.
If you have ever driven across a covered bridge just to get to where you were going.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Indiana.
You know the difference between coon hounds and how to lay a trap line.
You know the Mason-Dixon Line starts at Indy.
You had a horse.
You hunt all three seasons; bow, black powder, and shotgun.
You or someone you know owns a bad ass muscle car.
The Amish are no big deal.
You follow one of three colleges better than alumni, IU, Purdue, Notre Dame.
You can name the current starters from your high school (basketball, football).
Crossing the border into Ohio gives you the creeps.
You or someone in your immediate family served in the military: active, guard or reserve.
You can stop off at four bars in the same night 100 miles from your home and know someone at each.
If you go to church at one of the following: Methodist, Catholic, Lutheran, and Baptist.
If you know where the speed traps are on I-69.
If the name I-69 doesn’t make you giggle.
You have one suit for weddings, funerals and job interviews.
You bitch about Unions but would kill to get into GM.
If you have missed school because you had to help on the farm and it was an excused absence.
You or someone you know has paid their mortgage for three months by letting people park in their yard for the 500.
If you maintain friendships just because they have access to a lake cottage.
If you have ever bought BBQ from a church group in a parking lot.
If your last fist fight was in the previous twelve months.
People from the south think you have an accent.
Your grandmother has Jello molds and uses them regularly.
You have volunteered or have been volunteered at church.
You put your vehicle in 4-WD in Oct. and don’t take it off until the end of May.
You know you're from Indiana when:
1. Vacation means going north or south on I 65 for the
weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than
once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back
again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events
including weddings.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and
leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend
knows how to use them.
9. You design your kids' Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter, road construction, and It's Hot.
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer
next to your blue spruce.
13. Down south means Kentucky to you.
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole
shed.
16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. >
18. You find 0 degrees, "a little chilly."
19. You think Swisher Sweets are a damn good cigar.
20. You hate the traffic cycle in downtown Indy.
Someone sent me this today, so I added a few to it, feel feel to add yours.
JQP esq.
(Thanks to Twisted ns J-Thom the Sax man for the add-ons)
You know your a Hoosier if you take the back roads to "avoid the traffic" on SR 1
If you have an active meth lab within a 1/4 mile of your house.If you experience all 4 seasons in the same week.
Your current governor is white trashy enough that he drives around in an RV with graffiti all over it proudly.
If you know "road apples" are NOT edible.
If you had to quit dating your first boyfriend/girlfriend because when you brought them home to meet your parents, you were informed they were your grandpa's brothers wife’s uncles cousin, so that makes them "kin"
If your from the NE part of the state, someone in the previous generation migrated here from Kentucky (Knox or Perry county) to work in a foundry because they are "safer" than the coal mines.
If you noticed all your local law enforcement officers grew mustaches (including the females) after the movie "super troopers" was released.
If taking a shower involves "worshing" your hairIf within the last 6 months you have gotten sloppy ass drunk off of Boones Farm wine, went cow tipping and claim it's the most fun you've had since your high school prom.
If you know what "cow tipping" is.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
through18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food
will swim by, you might live in Indiana.
You have two favorite places to eat; one serves fried fish and the other pork tenderloins.
If you’re local Dairy Queen is closed from November through
March, you might live in Indiana.
You or a member of your family is on a volunteer fire department.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out
of the year, you might live in Indiana.
You can name 6 places in four counties to stop in a get a slice of homemade pie and a bottomless cup of coffee.
If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't
work there, you might live in Indiana.
If you have ever gotten into a fight over John Deere vs. Massy Ferguson.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the
middle of his forehead, you might live in Indiana.
If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Indiana.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you
might live in Indiana.
If members of the same family have gotten jail time and advanced degrees.
If you still give a preference to shopping at Mom and Pop places.
You know someone who is not a baseball player who dips snuff.
If you have ever driven across a covered bridge just to get to where you were going.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Indiana.
You know the difference between coon hounds and how to lay a trap line.
You know the Mason-Dixon Line starts at Indy.
You had a horse.
You hunt all three seasons; bow, black powder, and shotgun.
You or someone you know owns a bad ass muscle car.
The Amish are no big deal.
You follow one of three colleges better than alumni, IU, Purdue, Notre Dame.
You can name the current starters from your high school (basketball, football).
Crossing the border into Ohio gives you the creeps.
You or someone in your immediate family served in the military: active, guard or reserve.
You can stop off at four bars in the same night 100 miles from your home and know someone at each.
If you go to church at one of the following: Methodist, Catholic, Lutheran, and Baptist.
If you know where the speed traps are on I-69.
If the name I-69 doesn’t make you giggle.
You have one suit for weddings, funerals and job interviews.
You bitch about Unions but would kill to get into GM.
If you have missed school because you had to help on the farm and it was an excused absence.
You or someone you know has paid their mortgage for three months by letting people park in their yard for the 500.
If you maintain friendships just because they have access to a lake cottage.
If you have ever bought BBQ from a church group in a parking lot.
If your last fist fight was in the previous twelve months.
People from the south think you have an accent.
Your grandmother has Jello molds and uses them regularly.
You have volunteered or have been volunteered at church.
You put your vehicle in 4-WD in Oct. and don’t take it off until the end of May.
You know you're from Indiana when:
1. Vacation means going north or south on I 65 for the
weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than
once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back
again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events
including weddings.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and
leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend
knows how to use them.
9. You design your kids' Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter, road construction, and It's Hot.
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer
next to your blue spruce.
13. Down south means Kentucky to you.
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole
shed.
16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. >
18. You find 0 degrees, "a little chilly."
19. You think Swisher Sweets are a damn good cigar.
20. You hate the traffic cycle in downtown Indy.
Someone sent me this today, so I added a few to it, feel feel to add yours.
JQP esq.
(Thanks to Twisted ns J-Thom the Sax man for the add-ons)
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 2:20 AM
<< Home