A bit More Up-Beat, A votre sante!:
On Getting an Invitation to the Governors Inauguration:
Some funny bastard put me on the list for “My Man Mitch’s” Inauguration. Like I am willing to shell out 1000.00 for some catered chicken breast and cold green beans?
There is a good chance I would break out into a rash the minute I was with that large a group of fundamentalist republicans. I see it as being much like the crowd at a Gun and Knife Show but in better suits. So, who ever did this kind act, be forewarned, I will get you back.
Hell, I just might write a bad check and go, I am sure the Sweet and Petite Mrs. John Q. Public could help to make it a night to remember…. now there is an idea.
More Indiana News:
Corn Holes force 130 year old Elkhart bakery to shut down, By Bob Cook, THG staff writer
The baking business has always been a labor of love to Elkhart’s Abbott family. Now after 130 years in business, Abbott Bakeries were forced to close their doors this week due to bankruptcy. More than 60 workers are now unemployed, including several members of the Abbott family, who have owned and operated the company since its foundation by William Abbott in 1873.
Abbott Bakeries, which also has stores in Mishawaka and Goshen, have closed all three stores because of a lack of revenue generated the last several months. After being the leading bakers in the area for generations, the community has boycotted the bakeries due to negative publicity the company has received over marketing their bite-sized corn fritters.
“Our corn fritters are very popular so we decided to create a bite-sized version that could be easily carried and eaten anywhere,” said Larry Abbott, manager of the Goshen store and grandson to company owner and family patriarch Joseph Abbott, “We never dreamed they would lead to the downfall of the company,”
It seems a poor marketing decision on the part of 91 year-old Joseph Abbott has incensed the community so extremely that many long-time customers had stopped frequenting Abbott’s stores. When trying to decide what to call their new sweet-tasting corn treats, Mr. Abbott decided they should be named “Corn Holes” since they resembled doughnut holes. Apparently he was unaware of the double meaning these words hold.
“How is a 90 year-old guy supposed to know that “corn hole” could mean something else? Paw-paw (Joseph) seemed so proud to have come up with what he thought was a great name for our product. We all love him so much that none of us had the heart to tell him. We had to use it. We figured people would like them so much they would overlook the name,” said grandson and production manager Steve Abbott.
Soon after choosing a name for the new product, Abbott’s began their marketing campaign. Billboards began popping up in the region advertising the mini fritters with slogans like “Running late? Pack some Corn Holes!” and “Corn Holes: Once you pop’em, you can’t stop!” Needless to say, locals did not respond well to the ads.
Your Drinks of the Week:
By request, some hot drinks. I was going to do my famous Hot Buttered-Rum, but that seems to only be a big hit with residents of Nova Scotia and veterans of the Royal Navy. Now the one to watch out for is the Café Cuba-Royal, a few of these and you will be telling your brothers and sisters what crappy parents they are, and asking your aunt where she gets her wigs.
Cafe' Barbados
Ingredients:
1oz. Meyer's Rum
1 oz. Tia Maria
Fill w/ Coffee
Topped w/ Whip Cream
Cafe' Cuba Royal
Ingredients:
2 oz. Cognac
1oz. Meyer's Rum
Cube of Sugar
Fill w/ Coffee (Use a Pint Glass)
Topped W/ Whip Cream (stir in)
Your Bar Trick for the Holiday:
Note: with this one you need a helper, but its very easy and works every time.
Mind reading Straws:
This is a Great Trick to pull on an a guest. All you need is 5 different objects, and a helper. First place 5 different objects, (you could use fruit, bottle tops, matches, coin money, etc it doesn't matter as long as the 5 objects are all different) in front of a bar guest so the objects make an appearance of a 5 on a dice :-: . Tell them to point to an object when you are not looking, but to let other people see so they can verify it. Then take 2 straws, hold one in each hand so that the straws are parallel and hold them over the objects that you have set on the bar. When you come to the Object that was picked, just move the straws so that they touch. Then tell everyone that the Magic Straws have chosen this to be the Object that was chosen! It works every time and blows peoples minds.
Here is how it is done:
Since the objects are placed in a certain order ( like a 5 on a dice :-: ) just have your helper place there drink on there cocktail napkin in the position of the object that was picked . Example: If the person picking the object picks the object in the middle your helper puts his drink in the center of there napkin, if they pick an idem on one of the edges your helper puts there drink on the corresponding edge. Just look to see where your helper sets there glass so you know what object was picked. If done right this will blow people away!
Your Irish Toast for the Week:
"May the grass grow long on your road to hell, for want of use."
Your Southern Word/Phrase For the Week is:
Big 'Ol Hee Haw-Looking Boy -- Handsome Young Man and/or Redneck
Your Word of the Day is:
Haandia
Noun-The sack below one's lund (penis) Example: Lick my Haandiey (plural for Haandia) (Lick my balls) or All Pakistanis got no Haandiye!
Or Verb, the cost to enter the club, Exapmle: Yo! you aint going no where unless you Haandia
Your Thought for the Week:
The brain is like a computer. If a person whacked their computer against the wall hundreds of times, eventually it wouldn't work.-- Dr. Henry Powell, head of the neuropathology department, UCSD, on the dangers of boxing.
I remain, as always, my humble self:
JQP esp
Some funny bastard put me on the list for “My Man Mitch’s” Inauguration. Like I am willing to shell out 1000.00 for some catered chicken breast and cold green beans?
There is a good chance I would break out into a rash the minute I was with that large a group of fundamentalist republicans. I see it as being much like the crowd at a Gun and Knife Show but in better suits. So, who ever did this kind act, be forewarned, I will get you back.
Hell, I just might write a bad check and go, I am sure the Sweet and Petite Mrs. John Q. Public could help to make it a night to remember…. now there is an idea.
More Indiana News:
Corn Holes force 130 year old Elkhart bakery to shut down, By Bob Cook, THG staff writer
The baking business has always been a labor of love to Elkhart’s Abbott family. Now after 130 years in business, Abbott Bakeries were forced to close their doors this week due to bankruptcy. More than 60 workers are now unemployed, including several members of the Abbott family, who have owned and operated the company since its foundation by William Abbott in 1873.
Abbott Bakeries, which also has stores in Mishawaka and Goshen, have closed all three stores because of a lack of revenue generated the last several months. After being the leading bakers in the area for generations, the community has boycotted the bakeries due to negative publicity the company has received over marketing their bite-sized corn fritters.
“Our corn fritters are very popular so we decided to create a bite-sized version that could be easily carried and eaten anywhere,” said Larry Abbott, manager of the Goshen store and grandson to company owner and family patriarch Joseph Abbott, “We never dreamed they would lead to the downfall of the company,”
It seems a poor marketing decision on the part of 91 year-old Joseph Abbott has incensed the community so extremely that many long-time customers had stopped frequenting Abbott’s stores. When trying to decide what to call their new sweet-tasting corn treats, Mr. Abbott decided they should be named “Corn Holes” since they resembled doughnut holes. Apparently he was unaware of the double meaning these words hold.
“How is a 90 year-old guy supposed to know that “corn hole” could mean something else? Paw-paw (Joseph) seemed so proud to have come up with what he thought was a great name for our product. We all love him so much that none of us had the heart to tell him. We had to use it. We figured people would like them so much they would overlook the name,” said grandson and production manager Steve Abbott.
Soon after choosing a name for the new product, Abbott’s began their marketing campaign. Billboards began popping up in the region advertising the mini fritters with slogans like “Running late? Pack some Corn Holes!” and “Corn Holes: Once you pop’em, you can’t stop!” Needless to say, locals did not respond well to the ads.
Your Drinks of the Week:
By request, some hot drinks. I was going to do my famous Hot Buttered-Rum, but that seems to only be a big hit with residents of Nova Scotia and veterans of the Royal Navy. Now the one to watch out for is the Café Cuba-Royal, a few of these and you will be telling your brothers and sisters what crappy parents they are, and asking your aunt where she gets her wigs.
Cafe' Barbados
Ingredients:
1oz. Meyer's Rum
1 oz. Tia Maria
Fill w/ Coffee
Topped w/ Whip Cream
Cafe' Cuba Royal
Ingredients:
2 oz. Cognac
1oz. Meyer's Rum
Cube of Sugar
Fill w/ Coffee (Use a Pint Glass)
Topped W/ Whip Cream (stir in)
Your Bar Trick for the Holiday:
Note: with this one you need a helper, but its very easy and works every time.
Mind reading Straws:
This is a Great Trick to pull on an a guest. All you need is 5 different objects, and a helper. First place 5 different objects, (you could use fruit, bottle tops, matches, coin money, etc it doesn't matter as long as the 5 objects are all different) in front of a bar guest so the objects make an appearance of a 5 on a dice :-: . Tell them to point to an object when you are not looking, but to let other people see so they can verify it. Then take 2 straws, hold one in each hand so that the straws are parallel and hold them over the objects that you have set on the bar. When you come to the Object that was picked, just move the straws so that they touch. Then tell everyone that the Magic Straws have chosen this to be the Object that was chosen! It works every time and blows peoples minds.
Here is how it is done:
Since the objects are placed in a certain order ( like a 5 on a dice :-: ) just have your helper place there drink on there cocktail napkin in the position of the object that was picked . Example: If the person picking the object picks the object in the middle your helper puts his drink in the center of there napkin, if they pick an idem on one of the edges your helper puts there drink on the corresponding edge. Just look to see where your helper sets there glass so you know what object was picked. If done right this will blow people away!
Your Irish Toast for the Week:
"May the grass grow long on your road to hell, for want of use."
Your Southern Word/Phrase For the Week is:
Big 'Ol Hee Haw-Looking Boy -- Handsome Young Man and/or Redneck
Your Word of the Day is:
Haandia
Noun-The sack below one's lund (penis) Example: Lick my Haandiey (plural for Haandia) (Lick my balls) or All Pakistanis got no Haandiye!
Or Verb, the cost to enter the club, Exapmle: Yo! you aint going no where unless you Haandia
Your Thought for the Week:
The brain is like a computer. If a person whacked their computer against the wall hundreds of times, eventually it wouldn't work.-- Dr. Henry Powell, head of the neuropathology department, UCSD, on the dangers of boxing.
I remain, as always, my humble self:
JQP esp
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 3:55 AM
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