Words from the Sanitarium:
On Health:
After returning to my home at 1:00am this morning (On-Call, not Last-Call), I noticed that I felt like shit. Not just normal shit but sore throat fever kind of shit.
I just knew I was going to pick something up sitting there in ER next to the snot-vomit children and their loving and attentive parents (both on there cell phones bitching about having to be at the ER) Monday night. Now I can handle a lot, blood, guts, no problem…but puke, if your tossing you just might as well move over because if I am close enough to hear or smell, I am joining you. So, anyway, as I sat there with my concussion and bleeding from being mauled, I said; damn, I bet I am going to get what those kids have, it’s just my luck.
On Spirituality and your Health:
The holistic and spiritual Mrs. John Q. Public, sat next to me has I said that and she replied with “Dear Husband, you know all sickness starts with a thought…” (She gets like that, you see she was raised by Indians and her mother was a Witch Doctor, hell she even has an Indian name which translated means Little Beaver, true story) I told her that I would keep this in mind next time I got malaria or say cancer.
I believe she got some degree of perverse pleasure this morning when I woke feeling ill and with a fever, noting that she felt fine and she was the one who cleaned the kid puke from our shoes, a fact she sited as her power of positive thought and ritualistic animal sacrifices she performs during her menses.
On Calling in Sick:
Which of course brings to my calling in, now my employment might not pay well, but it does have some benefits, such as the month of paid vacation, personals days and flex time. So, I took it upon myself to make use of these perks.
I called in, now it should be noted that my boss, the Borg, had in no uncertain terms told me that calling the office staff and letting them know that I would not be in just wasn’t good enough, I needed to talk to the Borg personally (I guess if one member of the collective is sick, all the members of the collective are).
So being the good worker bee that I am, I thoughtfully placed that call at 3:43am, funny how people sound when you call them that late/early and dear reader I was chatty, details, I went into details. Needless to say, I don’t think the point of talking to the Borg personally if I am not going to be in is going to be pushed in the near future. Hell, I am going to use flex time to cover it, by the time I got home last night; I already had my 40 plus in for the week.
On Self-Medication, its Merits and its Draw-Backs:
So, dear reader, here I am reclined on a bed of pillows, watching Real Sex on HBO drinking cough medicine like middle school kid trying to get a buzz before the Sadie Hopkins dance. Later, I will make myself some French onion soup which I will wash down with a Bloody Mary (medicine comes in many forms) and finally enjoy my Christmas gift from Joel the Bar Man, the complete first season of the Rockford Files. Or catch up on some reading (I am currently reading seven books, and the management here at the manor has started to voice some complaints about all the books lying around). On the mend, dear reader…
Jaundiced and Jaded, I remain:
JQP esq.
After returning to my home at 1:00am this morning (On-Call, not Last-Call), I noticed that I felt like shit. Not just normal shit but sore throat fever kind of shit.
I just knew I was going to pick something up sitting there in ER next to the snot-vomit children and their loving and attentive parents (both on there cell phones bitching about having to be at the ER) Monday night. Now I can handle a lot, blood, guts, no problem…but puke, if your tossing you just might as well move over because if I am close enough to hear or smell, I am joining you. So, anyway, as I sat there with my concussion and bleeding from being mauled, I said; damn, I bet I am going to get what those kids have, it’s just my luck.
On Spirituality and your Health:
The holistic and spiritual Mrs. John Q. Public, sat next to me has I said that and she replied with “Dear Husband, you know all sickness starts with a thought…” (She gets like that, you see she was raised by Indians and her mother was a Witch Doctor, hell she even has an Indian name which translated means Little Beaver, true story) I told her that I would keep this in mind next time I got malaria or say cancer.
I believe she got some degree of perverse pleasure this morning when I woke feeling ill and with a fever, noting that she felt fine and she was the one who cleaned the kid puke from our shoes, a fact she sited as her power of positive thought and ritualistic animal sacrifices she performs during her menses.
On Calling in Sick:
Which of course brings to my calling in, now my employment might not pay well, but it does have some benefits, such as the month of paid vacation, personals days and flex time. So, I took it upon myself to make use of these perks.
I called in, now it should be noted that my boss, the Borg, had in no uncertain terms told me that calling the office staff and letting them know that I would not be in just wasn’t good enough, I needed to talk to the Borg personally (I guess if one member of the collective is sick, all the members of the collective are).
So being the good worker bee that I am, I thoughtfully placed that call at 3:43am, funny how people sound when you call them that late/early and dear reader I was chatty, details, I went into details. Needless to say, I don’t think the point of talking to the Borg personally if I am not going to be in is going to be pushed in the near future. Hell, I am going to use flex time to cover it, by the time I got home last night; I already had my 40 plus in for the week.
On Self-Medication, its Merits and its Draw-Backs:
So, dear reader, here I am reclined on a bed of pillows, watching Real Sex on HBO drinking cough medicine like middle school kid trying to get a buzz before the Sadie Hopkins dance. Later, I will make myself some French onion soup which I will wash down with a Bloody Mary (medicine comes in many forms) and finally enjoy my Christmas gift from Joel the Bar Man, the complete first season of the Rockford Files. Or catch up on some reading (I am currently reading seven books, and the management here at the manor has started to voice some complaints about all the books lying around). On the mend, dear reader…
Jaundiced and Jaded, I remain:
JQP esq.
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 6:00 AM
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