Weekend Filler:
On No-Love Thursday:
Since I was asked about last Thursdays night out on the town, I will give a brief overview. Let’s just say, mistakes were made and alcohol was a factor.
As a result I stayed in last night to read my Bible and knit socks for homeless children. I would go into details but large parts of the night are still cloudy, something that I find happens when one combines extreme alcohol consumption and blows to the head. However, I would like to give thanks to Pastor Bob, who subsidized the last half of the evening, which involved a detailed appreciation to the art of exotic dance.
Plans/Meals:
Today, besides working on the ongoing battle that is the upstairs bath, I will be cooking Jerked Pork Steaks with red-beans and rice, with grilled green bananas. I don’t feel like going out again tonight, so I am thinking it might be a good night to catch up on the fine assortment of cable programming afforded me. I think I shall focus my viewing on: OLN (they are running a show on deer gutting made easy and reruns of the Best Ranger competition), Sundance (got to love those art house movies, and you don’t even have to wear black and smoke clove cigarettes, to watch) and Fox News (always good for a laugh). But as always, all plans are subject to change at my whim.
Today’s Joke:
Kirk was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Kirk took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Kirk asked. "No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Kirk asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" Kirk asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said Kirk, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Kim." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." Kirk replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex." Kirk was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Kirk took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Kirk asked. "No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Kirk asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" Kirk asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said Kirk, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Kim." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." Kirk replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex."
Still Here, I remain...
JQP
Since I was asked about last Thursdays night out on the town, I will give a brief overview. Let’s just say, mistakes were made and alcohol was a factor.
As a result I stayed in last night to read my Bible and knit socks for homeless children. I would go into details but large parts of the night are still cloudy, something that I find happens when one combines extreme alcohol consumption and blows to the head. However, I would like to give thanks to Pastor Bob, who subsidized the last half of the evening, which involved a detailed appreciation to the art of exotic dance.
Plans/Meals:
Today, besides working on the ongoing battle that is the upstairs bath, I will be cooking Jerked Pork Steaks with red-beans and rice, with grilled green bananas. I don’t feel like going out again tonight, so I am thinking it might be a good night to catch up on the fine assortment of cable programming afforded me. I think I shall focus my viewing on: OLN (they are running a show on deer gutting made easy and reruns of the Best Ranger competition), Sundance (got to love those art house movies, and you don’t even have to wear black and smoke clove cigarettes, to watch) and Fox News (always good for a laugh). But as always, all plans are subject to change at my whim.
Today’s Joke:
Kirk was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Kirk took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Kirk asked. "No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Kirk asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" Kirk asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said Kirk, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Kim." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." Kirk replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex." Kirk was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Kirk took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Kirk asked. "No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Kirk asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" Kirk asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said Kirk, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Kim." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." Kirk replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex."
Still Here, I remain...
JQP
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 2:32 AM
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