Dear Dr. Phil:
Thought for the Day:
"Pounding that kid, I really wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every endangered panda that wouldn't screw to save its species and every whale or dolphin that gave up and ran itself aground” Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
(I wish more women would follow her lead and work to bring our troops home.)
On being a pussy and other random things rattling around in my brain:
Today was a struggle, around quitting time I wanted to be able to walk across the street to my favorite bar and enjoy an evening of drinks and mean spirited banter & the singing of ballads with my colleagues and cohorts, sadly however friends, only desert and traffic awaited me.
Moving sucks, starting over sucks, granted it is also freeing. I can be “JQP” or “jqp” the decision is mine, but what I am talking about is the feeling of being un-rooted. The time when where your living, doesn’t feel like home and what your doing doesn’t feel right.
When I was younger, these things didn’t bother me, chiefly because I didn’t know what it meant to be rooted, being raised by a roving band of gypsies as I was. We miss what we know and what we are comfortable with, I know that…but there is something more to it than that for me, I miss the value of my friends, the gravel in their guts and the way they think. I miss what I helped to build, to be able to look and know that because we cared a difference is being made.
What I am whining about is that I don’t know which way to go; this is truly a trip that I am along on just for the ride. I am working in the business field for the fist time in my life and yes friends I am going though a little bit of a culture shock.
I am looking a grad schools, struggling with going back into the not-for-profit world or giving this a go and spending a lot of time by myself. The last few times I (we) have moved this whole process took about 6 months to pass, I wonder how long it will take this time.
On another note, I have been active in a few “betterment projects”. I have cut my dinking and hell razing by about 90%, my spending by 75% (I am no longer the major bread winner, so I don’t feel right about running thought someone else’s hard earned money, plus it’s a lot easier than you would think since my ass hasn’t been planted on a bar stool). That and ppl. here don't fistfight, so it limits a fun night out on the town.
On the relationship front, I am currently seeing the Pretty and Loving Mrs. JQP about an hour or two each day, while this does suck it has served to focus us on what is important and folks its not laundry or money. She is pushing 80 plus hours a week...my little worker bee.
So, baby steps, don’t worry I am not retiring just reorganizing, hell I am going to start with a Rugby team here so there should be a few stories to tell, this old dog still has a few tricks left in him.
Today’s Bill:
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
William Shakespeare
Quote for the Day:
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”
Frederick Keonig
I remain, standing naked in the darkened corner of your soul, flipping my Zippo:
JQP esq.
"Pounding that kid, I really wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every endangered panda that wouldn't screw to save its species and every whale or dolphin that gave up and ran itself aground” Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
(I wish more women would follow her lead and work to bring our troops home.)
On being a pussy and other random things rattling around in my brain:
Today was a struggle, around quitting time I wanted to be able to walk across the street to my favorite bar and enjoy an evening of drinks and mean spirited banter & the singing of ballads with my colleagues and cohorts, sadly however friends, only desert and traffic awaited me.
Moving sucks, starting over sucks, granted it is also freeing. I can be “JQP” or “jqp” the decision is mine, but what I am talking about is the feeling of being un-rooted. The time when where your living, doesn’t feel like home and what your doing doesn’t feel right.
When I was younger, these things didn’t bother me, chiefly because I didn’t know what it meant to be rooted, being raised by a roving band of gypsies as I was. We miss what we know and what we are comfortable with, I know that…but there is something more to it than that for me, I miss the value of my friends, the gravel in their guts and the way they think. I miss what I helped to build, to be able to look and know that because we cared a difference is being made.
What I am whining about is that I don’t know which way to go; this is truly a trip that I am along on just for the ride. I am working in the business field for the fist time in my life and yes friends I am going though a little bit of a culture shock.
I am looking a grad schools, struggling with going back into the not-for-profit world or giving this a go and spending a lot of time by myself. The last few times I (we) have moved this whole process took about 6 months to pass, I wonder how long it will take this time.
On another note, I have been active in a few “betterment projects”. I have cut my dinking and hell razing by about 90%, my spending by 75% (I am no longer the major bread winner, so I don’t feel right about running thought someone else’s hard earned money, plus it’s a lot easier than you would think since my ass hasn’t been planted on a bar stool). That and ppl. here don't fistfight, so it limits a fun night out on the town.
On the relationship front, I am currently seeing the Pretty and Loving Mrs. JQP about an hour or two each day, while this does suck it has served to focus us on what is important and folks its not laundry or money. She is pushing 80 plus hours a week...my little worker bee.
So, baby steps, don’t worry I am not retiring just reorganizing, hell I am going to start with a Rugby team here so there should be a few stories to tell, this old dog still has a few tricks left in him.
Today’s Bill:
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
William Shakespeare
Quote for the Day:
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”
Frederick Keonig
I remain, standing naked in the darkened corner of your soul, flipping my Zippo:
JQP esq.
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 2:20 PM
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