Just like plucking hair from one’s ears:

(I spent last night taunting French Police)

Random Thoughts and Questions on Life:

Damn good shooting Air Force.

Why cant we invade some place cool like Cancun or Euro Disney?

I think that might be part of my platform when I run for President, vote for me, we will invade tourist destinations.

Fried mush is damn good.

I am glad I am not playing Rugby this summer.

I am going to see the Budweiser Clydesdales today after work.

I am told the Budweiser theme song is perfect to masturbate to.

I don’t drink Bud.

I had a sexual dream about Ginger from Gilligan’s Island and Sully from the X-Files last night, somehow bacon grease was involved. .

I like Nova Scotia in the summer.

This is the first week that No-Love-Thursday is on hiatus.

Why is it that suddenly women find me irresistible?

I got drunk last night, why? I had mint on hand and wanted a mint julep and also I wanted to look and feel my best for my in-laws arrival.

I am getting dragged to see Blues Traveler this weekend.

I thought they died in a bus accident or something.

The drummer form Def Leopard, does in fact only have one arm and when he gets drunk he calls my wife (true story).

My in-laws roll into town today, pray for me.

Boy panties on hot girls are at turn on, off more so.

I ripped the crotch out of my pants this morning.

Why am I so damn good at my job?

Who in the hell sets up a summer class that starts at 8am?

Why the hell was I stupid enough to agree to teach it?

Career options that sound good to me today: Deck Hand on a Nigerian Flagged Tramp Freighter, Carnie, Elephant trainer, Long Haul Truck Driver, Migrant Worker.

Kinky sex, Y-E-S

I have a black belt in origami

Sky-Captain got a parachute and wants me to jump out of his aero-plane.

I ate a whole jar of Kim-Chi last night when I got home.

I sang Dixie last night.

I am giving up on restoring my boat.

I sing at weddings, your should hear me belt out “Sunrise, Sunset”. I got some pipes on me.

I just burped mint and Kim-Chi.

My father in-law is a rich, retired, republican, I am not rich, not retired, nor republican, add to that I am screwing his daughter and it should be a fun week.

His daughter is a freak.

She told me this morning she was into role-play, for the next week she will be playing Nun, I said cool, that’s kinky, she said, no as in you are getting none.

I bought 3000 ladybugs.

Why is it hard to find Beech Nut chewing tobacco?

Never buy a home security system from a door to door salesman.

I trimmed my goatee this morning and got a little carried away now I look like Col. Sanders.


The road calls, off to sell Bibles to the simple farm folk of this great state.

JQP