Piss on holiday cheer:
On Biscotti:
I got a gift from my “Secret Santa” today it is large tub of home-made Biscotti, now for starters last week it was a tape measure, which in some situations can be damn helpful but a tub of Biscotti? What is Biscotti anyway but dried out old brownies.
God-Damn, would you put someone else’s “home-made” dried out brownies in you coffee? What the hell, that’s why I am the master re-giver, I think this might be something the Strong and Resilient Mrs. John Q. Public takes to work Thursday and hands out freely, everyone will think she made them and that there is pot in it. This shit will be gone in 5 minutes.
On Christmas Cards:
Folks, I bought a Menorah last year just so I wouldn’t have to fuck with a tree, that and I had a box of Menorah candles given to me by last years Secret Santa and yes, I am still trying to hunt that bastard down. Now, my aversion to Christmas outside of its obvious religious importance (and isn’t getting up from the dead a much cooler thing, Easter has my vote) is well known and widely regarded.
So, why in the fuck would you send me a Christmas card? To let me know you’re thinking of me this holiday season? Bull-shit, pick up the fucking phone and use some of those free minutes, come help me remodel this god-damn bathroom, buy me a drink, those things let me know your thinking of me, piss on Christmas cards, every stamp you buy goes to support the republican war machine (there, I found a political cause). Hell, give it to some homeless guy, so he can buy a little holiday cheer, but don’t send me a Christmas card.
On Work:
Ok, I am running a two for two average this week, if you’re a shit, I am the person you really don’t want to see on your doorstep. ---Mean and Nasty I am.
Other than that, I am doing some big event down in Indy Friday; check me out, Mr. Big-Wig, so at some point today I have to decide what the hell I am going to dazzle them with. That, and I John Q. Public, got asked to be the key note speaker and a prayer breakfast, which I a moment of weakness I agreed to, I now find out that about 700 people go to the damn thing. Those Hoosiers must really love some Jesus with their bacon and eggs. No pressure. Other than that I am working on Fed. grant that must have been designed somewhere close to the Seventh Level of Hell.
Defending the Rights of Everyone:
You know later today I think I will lodge a complaint with the HR Dept. about the holiday decorations. I counted and there are nine Christmas signs up, four Hanukah, four Kwanzaa, and nothing at all for the Pagans, Buddhists, and Moslems.
Don’t worry, I won’t use my name, I am thinking of a colleague of mine who leaves his computer on and logged in when he goes to lunch, the fool. It would be nice to watch everyone spin around here for the rest of the day, then they might not all be asking me very stupid questions.
A little Bill for today:
What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?"
--From Much Ado About Nothing (I, i, 118)
Todays Thought:
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
Richard Bach
I remain: Your source for Holiday Cheer,
JQP Most Rev. OSF
I got a gift from my “Secret Santa” today it is large tub of home-made Biscotti, now for starters last week it was a tape measure, which in some situations can be damn helpful but a tub of Biscotti? What is Biscotti anyway but dried out old brownies.
God-Damn, would you put someone else’s “home-made” dried out brownies in you coffee? What the hell, that’s why I am the master re-giver, I think this might be something the Strong and Resilient Mrs. John Q. Public takes to work Thursday and hands out freely, everyone will think she made them and that there is pot in it. This shit will be gone in 5 minutes.
On Christmas Cards:
Folks, I bought a Menorah last year just so I wouldn’t have to fuck with a tree, that and I had a box of Menorah candles given to me by last years Secret Santa and yes, I am still trying to hunt that bastard down. Now, my aversion to Christmas outside of its obvious religious importance (and isn’t getting up from the dead a much cooler thing, Easter has my vote) is well known and widely regarded.
So, why in the fuck would you send me a Christmas card? To let me know you’re thinking of me this holiday season? Bull-shit, pick up the fucking phone and use some of those free minutes, come help me remodel this god-damn bathroom, buy me a drink, those things let me know your thinking of me, piss on Christmas cards, every stamp you buy goes to support the republican war machine (there, I found a political cause). Hell, give it to some homeless guy, so he can buy a little holiday cheer, but don’t send me a Christmas card.
On Work:
Ok, I am running a two for two average this week, if you’re a shit, I am the person you really don’t want to see on your doorstep. ---Mean and Nasty I am.
Other than that, I am doing some big event down in Indy Friday; check me out, Mr. Big-Wig, so at some point today I have to decide what the hell I am going to dazzle them with. That, and I John Q. Public, got asked to be the key note speaker and a prayer breakfast, which I a moment of weakness I agreed to, I now find out that about 700 people go to the damn thing. Those Hoosiers must really love some Jesus with their bacon and eggs. No pressure. Other than that I am working on Fed. grant that must have been designed somewhere close to the Seventh Level of Hell.
Defending the Rights of Everyone:
You know later today I think I will lodge a complaint with the HR Dept. about the holiday decorations. I counted and there are nine Christmas signs up, four Hanukah, four Kwanzaa, and nothing at all for the Pagans, Buddhists, and Moslems.
Don’t worry, I won’t use my name, I am thinking of a colleague of mine who leaves his computer on and logged in when he goes to lunch, the fool. It would be nice to watch everyone spin around here for the rest of the day, then they might not all be asking me very stupid questions.
A little Bill for today:
What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?"
--From Much Ado About Nothing (I, i, 118)
Todays Thought:
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
Richard Bach
I remain: Your source for Holiday Cheer,
JQP Most Rev. OSF
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 6:00 AM
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