Cocktails you said?
Per the Request of Several Avid Readers:
Here are things to drink and do at those holiday cocktail parties.
I didn’t know anyone really tried these tricks/drinks out besides me.
Your Drinks for the Weekend:
Your Dirty Mother
Ingredients:
1 1/4 oz. Brandy
3/4 oz. Kahlua
3/4 oz. White Rum
To make a Dirty White Mother add Cream
Liquid Meth
Ingredients:
3/4 oz. Grand Marnier
3/4 oz. Amaretto
3/4 oz. Southern Comfort
3/4 oz. Captain Morgan’s
Fill w/ Orange & Pineapple Juice and 7up & Sweet & Sour
Garnish w/ a Orange & Cherry
Bar Trick:
Match Trick: Take a match from a book of cardboard matches. Print H (heads) on one side and T (tails) on the other. Tell a bar guest that you will toss the match in the air and if it lands either heads or tails you will buy him a drink. However, should it land on its side, he must leave you a big tip. Here's how it’s done: Just before you toss the match in the air, bend it. It will always land on its side and you will always get a big tip or a large part of your face beaten in depending on the bars you frequent.
Today’s Drinking Joke-List:
25 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes vending machine food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. Suddenly, violent belching during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
16. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
18. Everyone agrees they work better after they've had a couple of drinks.
19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.-SCARY!!!!
21. It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
22. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."!!!
25. Babbling & mumbling incoherently will be common, not just restricted to the higher ups.
(Damn, don’t you love office e-mail, I must of gotten this sent to me by half the staff, well those who can write anyway. Must be a bad day, I have had four colleagues ask me if I am going out drinking tonight.)
Thought for the Day on Drinking:
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman, US (1906 - 1998)
Stewing in my own Jucies; I remain,
JQP esq.
Here are things to drink and do at those holiday cocktail parties.
I didn’t know anyone really tried these tricks/drinks out besides me.
Your Drinks for the Weekend:
Your Dirty Mother
Ingredients:
1 1/4 oz. Brandy
3/4 oz. Kahlua
3/4 oz. White Rum
To make a Dirty White Mother add Cream
Liquid Meth
Ingredients:
3/4 oz. Grand Marnier
3/4 oz. Amaretto
3/4 oz. Southern Comfort
3/4 oz. Captain Morgan’s
Fill w/ Orange & Pineapple Juice and 7up & Sweet & Sour
Garnish w/ a Orange & Cherry
Bar Trick:
Match Trick: Take a match from a book of cardboard matches. Print H (heads) on one side and T (tails) on the other. Tell a bar guest that you will toss the match in the air and if it lands either heads or tails you will buy him a drink. However, should it land on its side, he must leave you a big tip. Here's how it’s done: Just before you toss the match in the air, bend it. It will always land on its side and you will always get a big tip or a large part of your face beaten in depending on the bars you frequent.
Today’s Drinking Joke-List:
25 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes vending machine food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. Suddenly, violent belching during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
16. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
18. Everyone agrees they work better after they've had a couple of drinks.
19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.-SCARY!!!!
21. It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
22. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."!!!
25. Babbling & mumbling incoherently will be common, not just restricted to the higher ups.
(Damn, don’t you love office e-mail, I must of gotten this sent to me by half the staff, well those who can write anyway. Must be a bad day, I have had four colleagues ask me if I am going out drinking tonight.)
Thought for the Day on Drinking:
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman, US (1906 - 1998)
Stewing in my own Jucies; I remain,
JQP esq.
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 4:46 AM
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