She had the hands of a pianist and the soul of a Concentration Camp Guard:

Thought for the Day:
Don't confuse being 'soft' with seeing the other guy's point of view.
George Bush Sr.


(Does the gray make me look old?)

Random thoughts for a Friday:

Only 5 shopping days left until my birthday.

Circumcision is Genital mutilation.

I heard someone say this “She is colder than a well diggers ass.”

That someone was me.

At 6am this morning my loving bride fueled up a 1952 “60” John Deere tractor with one gallon of gas, to see how far it would go before it runs dry. She is calling me every 15 mins. with progress reports.

How much more corrupt can the current ruling junta get?

M. Chamberlain started a job as a barman at my favorite bar, it’s not widely known but he is actively engaged in undercover investigative research for a as yet untitled upcoming book.

My wife can pee standing-up, she says it’s something she learned in the Marines.

There was a local-fundi-church father-daughter dance a few weeks ago, called a “Chastity Dance”, I don’t know but it gives me the creeps. 12 year-olds slow dancing with dad to celebrate their maidenhead.

My health has not been 100%, mental or otherwise.

I have to go to a tragic funeral this afternoon; I am really not looking forward to it.

I hope that when I die, they can say “his was a life well lived”. Also, I want an open bar and everyone to sing “Freebird”.

Tattoo John is planning a trip to Japan, to follow the way of the shogun warrior.

We always have the pipes at family funerals, I don’t want Taps, just Danny Boy and Amazing Grace.

I suck at math, but can recite the classics at length.

I also suck at typing and spelling, but I am cute.

Memphis Tom is going though a very hard spot in his life, it pisses me off that I cant be there for him.

I am having lunch at a Korean joint down by the truck-stop with the Girls Scouts today.

I have been on a Korean food kick the past few weeks.

I miss Tiny, his new shift sucks.

Drunken Cambodians at Redneck Macedonian place, really add to the dinning experience.

I am working about 18 hours a day, it’s that time of year, its raise money time, you locals help a brother out.

It’s BBQfest this week, next week it’s Greekfest, they are my two favorites. I love me some good BBQ and Blues and I have a thing for hairy Greek women.

I really want to go to this: http://www.pierogifest.net/

I have weddings, graduations, family events, every weekend.

Today, I am thinking about moving here and opening a bar: http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/gy.html




Your Drinks for the Weekend:

The French Deserter:

Drink Ingredients
1/3 oz. Lemon Juice
1 tsp. Sugar
1/3 oz. Calvados
1/3 Spiced Rum

Instruction
Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass, look for a rifle on the ground.

Che’s Aftershave:

Drink Ingredients
4 oz. Cheap Vodka
4 oz. Orange Juice
4 oz. Amarillo
4 oz. Tequila
Lime juice.

Instruction
Pour everything into a glass and shake like the Late John Holmes masturbated, serve chilled, and remove any sharp instruments from arms reach.

Today’s Bill:

SONNET 105
Let not my love be call'd idolatry,
Nor my beloved as an idol show,
Since all alike my songs and praises be
To one, of one, still such, and ever so.
Kind is my love to-day, to-morrow kind,
Still constant in a wondrous excellence;
Therefore my verse to constancy confined,
One thing expressing, leaves out difference.
'Fair, kind and true' is all my argument,
'Fair, kind, and true' varying to other words;
And in this change is my invention spent,
Three themes in one, which wondrous scope affords.
'Fair, kind, and true,' have often lived alone,
Which three till now never kept seat in one.

Quote of the Day:
There are two main strategies we can adopt to improve the quality of life. The first is to try making external conditions match our goals. The second is to change how we experience external conditions to make them fit our goals better.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

I remain, your flexible rubber band of perception:

JQP esq.