Monday, July 18, 2005

Being a Pious Catholic made my knee bad:

Thought for the Day:
Here is my first principle of foreign policy: good government at home.
William E. Gladstone

On why I can’t dance and self exploration through pain:
Well, dear reader I am sorry its been such a long time since I have penned any of my thoughts on daily life and ones role in the world, I know you have suffered without me as your moral compass, rest assured, I am still here, and now that I am off the morphine I find I am able to better form sentences and paragraphs.

The surgery I had last month was quite an experience, and continues to teach me a few lessens about life. I would like to start off with the fact that I am an organ donor but yet find it a bit odd being a recipient of someone else’s organs (or in my case parts and pieces). I am thankful to the fellow from Texas and his family that gave up his leg and knee so that I might not spend what’s left of my thirties and forties falling down (without the aid of alcohol) or in a wheelchair.

I thought I might feel it, you know kind of like how you feel after you go to the dentist and get a new cap, that feeling that there is something new in your body, but truth be known, I have not felt anything other than pain, which I am told is to be expected.

The first week was hard and very, very painful, my leg is now an 1/8 of an inch longer, since they put all the missing parts back in where they were suppose to be. Which made the nerves from the tips of my toes to the middle of my back scream, much the same way medieval witches must of when they were put on the rack.

I was told that this was going to be a painful surgery, rest assured dear reader that when your doctors tell you that its going to hurt vs. the normal things they say when they are going to cause you pain like “your going to fell a little discomfort”, they are not bull shiting you. This mother fucker has hurt like a little bitch, and I have a large threshold for pain (I am the guy who does his own stitches), boys and girls I cried like a baby the first week.

So, since I don’t like how pain killers make me feel and/or act (they make me stupid and grumpy) I have been taking about half of what I should be for about a week or so. I find that now I can at least type and know what day it is. I had to beg last week, to be allowed to work from home, because I can’t be upright for long periods of time. I am glad the doc gave in cause, damn I am going fucking insane.

I think that daytime programming was designed by the anti-christ, and most of the books I have been reading look like they were lifted from the diaries of 14 year old girls or guys whose experience with the outside world revolves around meetings of their dungeons and dragons club.

I should note that since I have spent the past few weeks between being in great amounts of pain and stoned out of my mind, that I might not be the most trusted literary critic. At some point however, I do intend to review a few of the books I have read ( I am going through one or two a day) and have hit a few jewels.

On Laying in a Bed for days on end:
Ok, I am a fairly active guy. I enjoy a good game of rugby, kayaking, fist fights, kinky sexual activities and high endurance home improvement projects. Needless to say, this most recent experience has left me unable to enjoy any of the previously mentioned activities. When the surgeon said bed rest he meant it, because brother and sister it hurts to fucking bad to do much else. I can’t wait till I can do simple things like, walk, screw, mow my lawn, skydive, work on my house, you know the things that let you know you’re alive.

Depression and Kittens:
It does get a bit depressing at times, and then I think you fucking pussy, tuff up, there are so many people out there with worse shit than this. Much worse. So, I do, bitching and whining doesn’t make it hurt less. On a side note, I have started to file for disability with the VA, as a friend of mine put it who works for the VA, they broke you, they should pay you for that.

I however still have mixed feelings about that, I on a lot of levels don’t this I deserve it, that it should go to those kids how are really coming home fucked up from Iraq etc. I don’t know it just something I have been struggling with. One thing I do have is a lot of time to think.

Thanks to….
If ever someone should have a candle lit next to her statue it should be my sweet kind and loving bride, Mrs. JQP, I truly don’t know how I could have done all this without her, she has been wonderful.

Thanks also to the many friends who have calls and stopped in to visit, sorry I don’t know how all you were, but I am glad so many of you have gotten a laugh out of having conversations with me while I am stoned out of my mind. all of you out there in blog world, who let me kn oiw I was missed, it was wonderful to read you comments and heart warming.

And of course thanks to the dead guy and his family for giving me a knee, oh and JC, thanks for a few prayers answered big dog!

Your Bill for the Day:
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
William Shakespeare Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)

Question for the readers:
Did any of you read the long post, the one of the re-post from the stuff I had done in the past? If so, did you enjoy any of them? Also, has anyone tried any of the drink and food recipes I post on here? Just curious.

Quote of the Day:
Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward.
Soren Kierkegaard

I remain, unable to dance a tango:

JQP esq.