You Reap what you Sow
A little bit about how Election Day went for me. I woke in the morning with a twisted ankle. Yes, a twisted ankle. You as I, might ask yourself how in the hell do you wake with twisted ankle? Dear reader I had no idea. After voting I went to work at the Democratic Party headquarters where with Pastor Bob, I spent the day driving Native Americans and disabled veterans to the poles in the church bus.
I like many of you counted the moments till the bar opened. At six o’clock, I was more than ready to watch to returns, and watch I did. Around 7 pm, my knee started hurting. I then told Pastor Bob about how I woke with a twisted ankle and now had a sore knee. Pastor Bob, being a former Navy SEAL medic, asked to examine my ankle, now it is well known that Pastor Bob lost his job at the shoe department at Wal-Mart due to his foot fetish, and many of you know I made extra money in college as a foot model, so I was a bit nervous. Pastor Bob assured me that his interest was only that of a medical nature.
Due to the combined effect of pain and alcohol I relented. Pastor Bob, upon looking said: “Have you recently traveling in the mid-south” I replied: “No, but over the weekend I did entertain a fairly large population of Southerners”. Ah, I see. Your problem is quite plain to see, You have a rather nasty spider bite and should seek medical attention, well I don’t know about you but by 10:00 pm I was drunk, yes…drunk. How could you not be after watching to returns come in. So, I did what I always do, I ignored his suggestions.
Upon, my arrival at the manor, the kind and thoughtful, Mrs. John Q. Public asked why I was limping, “Did you get stabbed again?” No, I said, and proceeded to tell her about Pastor Bob looking at my feet, she said, my God, John you know that’s why he lost his job at Wal-Mart, I told her that it wasn’t anything like that, and told her about the spider bite. She helped my off with my Brooks Brothers suit, and gasped “my God John look at you…” Well, I often hear that, but in looking down I could see that she was not making the normal comments that often follow hours of passionate love making.
My leg was purple, and my foot swollen to twice its normal size. Off to ER I went. I was greeted at the door, and asked if a bit tongue off again, Ha fucking Ha, being drunk and pissed about the election did not make me a happy or pleasant patient, however in did help me fit in with the late night population of indigents that seem to fill inter-city ERs.
It seems I was bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider. Lucky fucking me, no really lucky fucking me, shit this has been a hell of a great week. So here I am, with my leg up, purple and sore, an open wound, my god, couldn’t Mitch Daniels people just of sent an team of no-neck goons to beat me to death, why pull a page from the KGB play book. After the evangelical Taliban take over last night, no court in the land would have convicted them. So, I am off work today. http://www.brown-recluse.com/
I have spoken to quite a few Democrats so far this morning, each with red-eyes and trembling hands. All, saying well, now maybe things will get back to normal, maybe things won’t be that bad, or let’s try to work with them. Folks, they sound a lot like the German Jewish population in 1936, yes, dear reader this is how it starts. I don’t know about you, but the joyful and intelligent Mrs. John Q. Public and I are looking into buying a “summer house” in New Zealand. More days in darkness. http://www.homewelcome.com/Sales/new_zealand_homes_for_sale_by_owner.html
Hung over, pissed off, in pain, and a bit blue, guess it can always get worst, eh what?
Quote:
May you live in interesting times
an old Chinese curse
Shaken Not Stirred
JQP DSS
I like many of you counted the moments till the bar opened. At six o’clock, I was more than ready to watch to returns, and watch I did. Around 7 pm, my knee started hurting. I then told Pastor Bob about how I woke with a twisted ankle and now had a sore knee. Pastor Bob, being a former Navy SEAL medic, asked to examine my ankle, now it is well known that Pastor Bob lost his job at the shoe department at Wal-Mart due to his foot fetish, and many of you know I made extra money in college as a foot model, so I was a bit nervous. Pastor Bob assured me that his interest was only that of a medical nature.
Due to the combined effect of pain and alcohol I relented. Pastor Bob, upon looking said: “Have you recently traveling in the mid-south” I replied: “No, but over the weekend I did entertain a fairly large population of Southerners”. Ah, I see. Your problem is quite plain to see, You have a rather nasty spider bite and should seek medical attention, well I don’t know about you but by 10:00 pm I was drunk, yes…drunk. How could you not be after watching to returns come in. So, I did what I always do, I ignored his suggestions.
Upon, my arrival at the manor, the kind and thoughtful, Mrs. John Q. Public asked why I was limping, “Did you get stabbed again?” No, I said, and proceeded to tell her about Pastor Bob looking at my feet, she said, my God, John you know that’s why he lost his job at Wal-Mart, I told her that it wasn’t anything like that, and told her about the spider bite. She helped my off with my Brooks Brothers suit, and gasped “my God John look at you…” Well, I often hear that, but in looking down I could see that she was not making the normal comments that often follow hours of passionate love making.
My leg was purple, and my foot swollen to twice its normal size. Off to ER I went. I was greeted at the door, and asked if a bit tongue off again, Ha fucking Ha, being drunk and pissed about the election did not make me a happy or pleasant patient, however in did help me fit in with the late night population of indigents that seem to fill inter-city ERs.
It seems I was bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider. Lucky fucking me, no really lucky fucking me, shit this has been a hell of a great week. So here I am, with my leg up, purple and sore, an open wound, my god, couldn’t Mitch Daniels people just of sent an team of no-neck goons to beat me to death, why pull a page from the KGB play book. After the evangelical Taliban take over last night, no court in the land would have convicted them. So, I am off work today. http://www.brown-recluse.com/
I have spoken to quite a few Democrats so far this morning, each with red-eyes and trembling hands. All, saying well, now maybe things will get back to normal, maybe things won’t be that bad, or let’s try to work with them. Folks, they sound a lot like the German Jewish population in 1936, yes, dear reader this is how it starts. I don’t know about you, but the joyful and intelligent Mrs. John Q. Public and I are looking into buying a “summer house” in New Zealand. More days in darkness. http://www.homewelcome.com/Sales/new_zealand_homes_for_sale_by_owner.html
Hung over, pissed off, in pain, and a bit blue, guess it can always get worst, eh what?
Quote:
May you live in interesting times
an old Chinese curse
Shaken Not Stirred
JQP DSS
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 9:42 AM
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