Back to "Normal"
Brief Re-cap:
Well, the house-guests are gone… gone, gone, gone, back to Memphis. And, contrary to conventional wisdom I did not at any point freak-out, everyone asked how will you do with an infant in your home? Well, I did just fine, you see in my life I have never held one of those things, and at one point early on they gave the baby to me and then refused to take it back. Luckily, it was a damn cute kid and responded well to the other members of the pack. ...and no the dingos did not eat the baby, not on my watch. Total trips back and forth to the airport, 15...in a church bus while dressed as a clown.
On house guests:
I hate being a house guest; I make it a rule to never be anyplace more than two days. There is something violating about being that far into someone else’s life. However there have been times when I have been able to over-come this fear, only with very close friends and family. I was raised with the rule that house guests like fish stink after two days.
Now on the other hand, I enjoy having people over. Hell, it’s a big house and it’s not like the Sweet and Kind Mrs. John Q. Public and I even use 1/3 of it. That and I like to cook, I like to cook a lot, well, I also like to eat, so its nice to have someone to cook for. One, thing that can be said, is that you will not leave my home with an empty belly. I believe that I fed over 128 people through-out the course of the weekend. (I will put these head counting skills to good use tomorrow, has I am going to be a poll watcher)
On Anniversaries:
The Sweet and Kind Mrs. John Q. Public and I celebrated our 5th year in nuptial bliss on Saturday. (she reads this). She flew in from Mexico, for the events of the weekend; she has been scouting a new boy-band and learning Spanish. And many said it wouldn’t last 5 months, to those I say HA!
Has it been easy? No, but we are still here. Granted the deck was stacked against us, her being a prostitute on the streets of Bangkok with a nasty heroin addiction, and myself at that time being employed as Captain of a super-tanker and part-time pearl-diver. But we were able to make it, everyday is a new adventure. I should also add that this was the first adversary that the delightful and compassionate Mrs. John Q. Public was able to attend.
On food:
Cook and cook I did… The high-light of what I made was my Ribs that sat in my super-secret rib rub for two days prior to cooking. Cooked for 14 hours low and slow over a pit I dug in the alley. The ribs were so tender, you just looked at them and they fell of the bone. Yes, folks that was some good eating.
We were taken out to dinner at local place known for its oysters on Saturday night. Well, I must say, the wine, mixed drinks (in my case Bombay Sapphire and Tonics dbl lime) served to complement the meal well. Fresh fish and oysters were in abundance. We made pigs of ourselves. Our bill for 6 adults was over 700.00 (US). And, yes I about shit, but my dear friends from the South would have no part of me paying (did I say good friends; I meant to say God-Damn Good Friends!). Granted today I still find myself suffering for the residual effects of mercury poisoning.
On Baptism:
On Sunday, we were once again made god-parents; I believe this is our 6th. Now what sets this one apart is that it was an Episcopalian baptism. I being a staunch Roman Catholic was surprised to find that those Episcopalians are shit load more Catholic than us, talk about high church, smells and bells. Dang! ..And hell at my home parish, I am stuck with guitar masses and Sr. Mary's drum solos. Good-Show, and once again, damn cute kid!
On Halloween:
The Intimidating and Forceful Mrs. John Q. Public handled that this year since it was her first time being at the manor during this event. She insisted on dressing up to scare the children. After a lot of work she decided on going has Martin Luther, and yes it scared the hell right out of those kids (we live in a catholic ghetto).
You know there is something that just warms your heart when a group of young men with no costumes on comes to your door at 11:38pm, wanting candy; at least they put their cigarettes out before coming up the walk. Since we were out of candy at that late an hour, I gave them some left over-ribs and sweet tea. However, the one thing that bothers me about the whole trick or treat thing is the very fat women who come to your door with a baby, and want to fill their dirty pillow-cases with candy. Yep, I am sure that 4 month old will enjoy those Baby-Ruth’s.
On Good Citizenship:
Tomorrow, get off your ass and go vote.
On Good Morals:
Tomorrow, when you’re off your ass and out voting, vote straight ticket Democrat.
On Area News:
Bottle thrown from bus injures pedestrian, 52
A water bottle thrown from a school bus on Parnell Avenue hit a pedestrian Friday evening, Fort Wayne police said. A 52-year-old woman was walking in the 2100 block of Parnell Avenue when a 20-ounce bottle of mineral water was thrown from a school bus about 9:15 p.m. Friday. The bottle struck her in the left knee and knocked her to the ground, a report said. The woman complained of pain in her knee.
She told police the bus was southbound on Parnell toward East State Boulevard. A bus following the first bus slowed down when the woman fell but continued on after she appeared to be all right, a report said. Police forwarded the report to Fort Wayne Community Schools to identify the bus involved.
See what happens when you don’t set high standards of professional courtesy on bus drivers? Not to mention detailed training on crowd control. You would never see this kind of behavior on my Church Bus, I model my bus driving on re-runs of the Dukes of Hazard and the classic movies Rocky Horror Picture Show & Dr. Strangelove, it keeps the little shits in their seat and always guessing. …and that dear reader is how you win, by being one step ahead of them at all times.
82-year-old arrested in domestic battery case
An 82-year-old man accused of pistol-whipping a woman after finding two of her friends in his bed was arrested Monday on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge.
When police arrived Monday night at the older man’s home in the 4300 block of Weisser Park Avenue, they found a 67-year-old woman sitting on a couch with a deep cut to her head. The older man told police he found two of the woman’s friends naked in his bed. When he tried to get the two people to leave, the older woman brandished a .22-caliber rifle at him, police said.
The woman and the man live together, but it was unclear what their relationship is.
The 67-year-old man told police he grabbed his unloaded black Smith and Wesson handgun from under a pillow and struck the woman on the head with it. He also told police that both weapons were not loaded, police said. Police found a .22-caliber cartridge on the bedroom floor and two more on the floor under the rifle. The man told police he emptied five cartridges from the rifle after he grabbed it away from the woman, police said.
Police also found a large amount of blood on the bed and blood was also found on the floor. Blood was also on the cylinder of the handgun, police said. The man and the woman admitted they had been drinking, police said. The man was charged with a misdemeanor charge of domestic battery and taken to the Allen County Lockup. He has since been released.
Shit, I can’t make this stuff up; I think the sweet and alluring Mrs. John Q. Public said it best when she read this article in today’s Post, “God-Damn, thanks a fuck-load Viagra!”
Quote of the Day:
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein, (attributed)US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)
Yours always and forever,
JQP JD esq.
Well, the house-guests are gone… gone, gone, gone, back to Memphis. And, contrary to conventional wisdom I did not at any point freak-out, everyone asked how will you do with an infant in your home? Well, I did just fine, you see in my life I have never held one of those things, and at one point early on they gave the baby to me and then refused to take it back. Luckily, it was a damn cute kid and responded well to the other members of the pack. ...and no the dingos did not eat the baby, not on my watch. Total trips back and forth to the airport, 15...in a church bus while dressed as a clown.
On house guests:
I hate being a house guest; I make it a rule to never be anyplace more than two days. There is something violating about being that far into someone else’s life. However there have been times when I have been able to over-come this fear, only with very close friends and family. I was raised with the rule that house guests like fish stink after two days.
Now on the other hand, I enjoy having people over. Hell, it’s a big house and it’s not like the Sweet and Kind Mrs. John Q. Public and I even use 1/3 of it. That and I like to cook, I like to cook a lot, well, I also like to eat, so its nice to have someone to cook for. One, thing that can be said, is that you will not leave my home with an empty belly. I believe that I fed over 128 people through-out the course of the weekend. (I will put these head counting skills to good use tomorrow, has I am going to be a poll watcher)
On Anniversaries:
The Sweet and Kind Mrs. John Q. Public and I celebrated our 5th year in nuptial bliss on Saturday. (she reads this). She flew in from Mexico, for the events of the weekend; she has been scouting a new boy-band and learning Spanish. And many said it wouldn’t last 5 months, to those I say HA!
Has it been easy? No, but we are still here. Granted the deck was stacked against us, her being a prostitute on the streets of Bangkok with a nasty heroin addiction, and myself at that time being employed as Captain of a super-tanker and part-time pearl-diver. But we were able to make it, everyday is a new adventure. I should also add that this was the first adversary that the delightful and compassionate Mrs. John Q. Public was able to attend.
On food:
Cook and cook I did… The high-light of what I made was my Ribs that sat in my super-secret rib rub for two days prior to cooking. Cooked for 14 hours low and slow over a pit I dug in the alley. The ribs were so tender, you just looked at them and they fell of the bone. Yes, folks that was some good eating.
We were taken out to dinner at local place known for its oysters on Saturday night. Well, I must say, the wine, mixed drinks (in my case Bombay Sapphire and Tonics dbl lime) served to complement the meal well. Fresh fish and oysters were in abundance. We made pigs of ourselves. Our bill for 6 adults was over 700.00 (US). And, yes I about shit, but my dear friends from the South would have no part of me paying (did I say good friends; I meant to say God-Damn Good Friends!). Granted today I still find myself suffering for the residual effects of mercury poisoning.
On Baptism:
On Sunday, we were once again made god-parents; I believe this is our 6th. Now what sets this one apart is that it was an Episcopalian baptism. I being a staunch Roman Catholic was surprised to find that those Episcopalians are shit load more Catholic than us, talk about high church, smells and bells. Dang! ..And hell at my home parish, I am stuck with guitar masses and Sr. Mary's drum solos. Good-Show, and once again, damn cute kid!
On Halloween:
The Intimidating and Forceful Mrs. John Q. Public handled that this year since it was her first time being at the manor during this event. She insisted on dressing up to scare the children. After a lot of work she decided on going has Martin Luther, and yes it scared the hell right out of those kids (we live in a catholic ghetto).
You know there is something that just warms your heart when a group of young men with no costumes on comes to your door at 11:38pm, wanting candy; at least they put their cigarettes out before coming up the walk. Since we were out of candy at that late an hour, I gave them some left over-ribs and sweet tea. However, the one thing that bothers me about the whole trick or treat thing is the very fat women who come to your door with a baby, and want to fill their dirty pillow-cases with candy. Yep, I am sure that 4 month old will enjoy those Baby-Ruth’s.
On Good Citizenship:
Tomorrow, get off your ass and go vote.
On Good Morals:
Tomorrow, when you’re off your ass and out voting, vote straight ticket Democrat.
On Area News:
Bottle thrown from bus injures pedestrian, 52
A water bottle thrown from a school bus on Parnell Avenue hit a pedestrian Friday evening, Fort Wayne police said. A 52-year-old woman was walking in the 2100 block of Parnell Avenue when a 20-ounce bottle of mineral water was thrown from a school bus about 9:15 p.m. Friday. The bottle struck her in the left knee and knocked her to the ground, a report said. The woman complained of pain in her knee.
She told police the bus was southbound on Parnell toward East State Boulevard. A bus following the first bus slowed down when the woman fell but continued on after she appeared to be all right, a report said. Police forwarded the report to Fort Wayne Community Schools to identify the bus involved.
See what happens when you don’t set high standards of professional courtesy on bus drivers? Not to mention detailed training on crowd control. You would never see this kind of behavior on my Church Bus, I model my bus driving on re-runs of the Dukes of Hazard and the classic movies Rocky Horror Picture Show & Dr. Strangelove, it keeps the little shits in their seat and always guessing. …and that dear reader is how you win, by being one step ahead of them at all times.
82-year-old arrested in domestic battery case
An 82-year-old man accused of pistol-whipping a woman after finding two of her friends in his bed was arrested Monday on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge.
When police arrived Monday night at the older man’s home in the 4300 block of Weisser Park Avenue, they found a 67-year-old woman sitting on a couch with a deep cut to her head. The older man told police he found two of the woman’s friends naked in his bed. When he tried to get the two people to leave, the older woman brandished a .22-caliber rifle at him, police said.
The woman and the man live together, but it was unclear what their relationship is.
The 67-year-old man told police he grabbed his unloaded black Smith and Wesson handgun from under a pillow and struck the woman on the head with it. He also told police that both weapons were not loaded, police said. Police found a .22-caliber cartridge on the bedroom floor and two more on the floor under the rifle. The man told police he emptied five cartridges from the rifle after he grabbed it away from the woman, police said.
Police also found a large amount of blood on the bed and blood was also found on the floor. Blood was also on the cylinder of the handgun, police said. The man and the woman admitted they had been drinking, police said. The man was charged with a misdemeanor charge of domestic battery and taken to the Allen County Lockup. He has since been released.
Shit, I can’t make this stuff up; I think the sweet and alluring Mrs. John Q. Public said it best when she read this article in today’s Post, “God-Damn, thanks a fuck-load Viagra!”
Quote of the Day:
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein, (attributed)US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)
Yours always and forever,
JQP JD esq.
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 7:38 AM
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