Oct. 17th 2004 (a day of rest)
Well, dear reader... it was a night,
...a night that for some reason I must not of wanted to end, due to the fact that I have not yet slept. A talent I attribute to my aggressive personality and an inherited ability to consume large amounts of alcohol. (another thing that we of Irish decent are less well know for is our poetry, perhaps in a future post I will include some of my free verse).
After driving the church bus I was able to make it to Mass, where Father Phil greeted me with open arms and only a few un-wanted gropes. While standing outside the church after Mass sharing a smoke with a few of the altar boys I heard the following joke, I found it most humorous (perhaps do to the fact that I was still partially inebriated, I was told that I should of stopped drinking when everyone else did at 4:00 am, I however was raised with the axiom: No one likes a quitter, and I, John Q. Public, while being many things, am no quitter) ah so the joke…
A 727t is just making its final approach to Fort Wayne International Airport.The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Fort Wayne. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay here in Ft. Wayne."
He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, we have a layover... whatcha gonna do in cultural Mecca that is Indiana?"
Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner. Then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and make love to her big time all night."Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess.
Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old nuns hand bag, and down she goes. At this point wise old Sister Mary leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first."
As for the evening, well dear reader how can you go wrong with Macedonian roast pork, Ouzo, good friends and the abuse of prescription drugs, yes it was an action packed night, but sadly I can not got into details about my activities or the activities of others, until the statute of limitations as expired, or the Patriot Act is revoked.
This just in:
My good friend and colleague from my days at Cambridge, Tattoo John just returned from his travels with the dung eating primitive tribes of the Amazon, (he was working on a documentary for the Discovery Channel) It seems he and the former girlfriend of Mrs. John Q. Public (yes, I know, it’s a long story, but one my dear wife tells best, most often while other women from the village chant and beat drums in the women’s tent during the monthly celebration of their menses) will be in repose at a local Rugby bar. I believe that I might join them; I always love catching up with other great minds.
God, go with you.
I remain as always, your humble servant,
JQP PhD
...a night that for some reason I must not of wanted to end, due to the fact that I have not yet slept. A talent I attribute to my aggressive personality and an inherited ability to consume large amounts of alcohol. (another thing that we of Irish decent are less well know for is our poetry, perhaps in a future post I will include some of my free verse).
After driving the church bus I was able to make it to Mass, where Father Phil greeted me with open arms and only a few un-wanted gropes. While standing outside the church after Mass sharing a smoke with a few of the altar boys I heard the following joke, I found it most humorous (perhaps do to the fact that I was still partially inebriated, I was told that I should of stopped drinking when everyone else did at 4:00 am, I however was raised with the axiom: No one likes a quitter, and I, John Q. Public, while being many things, am no quitter) ah so the joke…
A 727t is just making its final approach to Fort Wayne International Airport.The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Fort Wayne. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay here in Ft. Wayne."
He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, we have a layover... whatcha gonna do in cultural Mecca that is Indiana?"
Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner. Then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and make love to her big time all night."Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess.
Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old nuns hand bag, and down she goes. At this point wise old Sister Mary leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first."
As for the evening, well dear reader how can you go wrong with Macedonian roast pork, Ouzo, good friends and the abuse of prescription drugs, yes it was an action packed night, but sadly I can not got into details about my activities or the activities of others, until the statute of limitations as expired, or the Patriot Act is revoked.
This just in:
My good friend and colleague from my days at Cambridge, Tattoo John just returned from his travels with the dung eating primitive tribes of the Amazon, (he was working on a documentary for the Discovery Channel) It seems he and the former girlfriend of Mrs. John Q. Public (yes, I know, it’s a long story, but one my dear wife tells best, most often while other women from the village chant and beat drums in the women’s tent during the monthly celebration of their menses) will be in repose at a local Rugby bar. I believe that I might join them; I always love catching up with other great minds.
God, go with you.
I remain as always, your humble servant,
JQP PhD
posted by John Q. Public esq. at 11:43 AM
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