Sunday, July 06, 2008

From the Desk of My Flower:

Mrs. JQP’s Rules for successful Sunday Hard Charging at Rugby Bars:

Don’t buy drinks for the local indigenous population – they can be a vicious lot, pillaging your wallet until there’s nothing left.

Go forward with Operation “Pay Cash as you Go”, A) set a budget - $150 or $200 and stick to it! B) Once the cash is gone – it’s time to go NO MATTER WHAT

Don’t get sucked into conversation with strangers about Rugby, or the war in Iraq, aside from what we think… THEY DON’T CARE and never will! They just humor us because their scared

dog day afternoon
Keep in mind that we have a super busy week… time to get our shit together and get things done. A Monday hangover sucks worse than any other and sets the tone for the week.

Remember feeling like shit from any previous episode(s) and commit to not repeating it! High speed , Low Drag Troop!

Dream of all the other fucking crazy shit you would like to strive toward and remember how the money you’re spending could go a long way toward that goal! Farms in Africa are not free, unless there is a great deal of civil unrest.

meth and YUppys
Remember how sad your drunken wife looked passing out on a friends couch immediately followed by vomiting in their trash can – nobody wants to look/feel like that. That and you didn’t like me tossing up on your back as you carried me down those three flights of stairs.

Don’t buy drinks for the bartenders – they usually don’t return the favor and doesn’t really buy any additional love (everyone already loves you just as much as they can).

wet hippy boob
We probably got MORE points being a designated driver to the drunk kids than we did from buying them more drinks, even if you did roll them for cash.

Enjoy friends and good times – but nothing in excess… it feels good to feel good the next day and not feel like we’ve done something terrible we need to be sorry for. Like that time we took those dancers home, or the night last month when you knocked that kids teeth out.

Remember: It’s ok to drink to an excess, it’s NOT ok to drink and be a dumb fuck!