Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Mistakes were made and Alcohol was a Factor:

home work
(I have penned some of the most definitive operation manuals my field has ever seen in the past three months. Yes, dear reader you are in the presence of greatness.)

Thought for the Day:
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.

Where the hell have I been? Well, let me tell you:

I have been selling Bibles coast to coast.

My Flower lost our ass on the Belmont Stakes.

I have been in OR, TN, KY, GA, MA, CA (and Dusty, I feel just right at home in Bakersfield)

I had dinner and way to much to drink with a Japanese American whose Dad was a Green Beret in Nam and friends with my Dad, and we knew each other in elementary school at Ft. Bragg.

I borrowed a cyclo from in front of an Asian restaurant and made 83 cents giving patrons rides to their cars.

I kissed a stripper and now have sores on my lips.

I dislocated my shoulder and cracked three ribs, while going across a RR bridge on my hands (I fell).

I firmly believe that both Pat Sajak and Andy Williams were members of the John Birch Society.

I have 14 kinds of hot peppers and 9 different types of heirloom tomatoes growing in my kitchen garden.

I got into a friendly fist fight on my birthday after drinking a bottle of hard liquor.

I got to meet 6 members of the New Haven Law Enforcement community and one Police Dog.

I don’t care much for Police Dogs.

While drinking at an establishment that caters to gentlemen of a different complexion, I was given a 10 pound catfish.

My Flower bought me a surplus medics kit, she keeps in her purse, see I told you she loves me.

The good folks of Unadilla, GA elected me Mayor.

I competed in a Highland Game; I am a telephone pole tossing fool.

The people I work for gave me two new jobs and are threatening to have me move back to Phoenix.

I helped coach My Flowers rugby team, to what turned out to be a resounding defeat.

I saw My Flower take joy in hurting others, I was so proud.

I got drunk in the Rugby Bar naked and they wouldn’t kick me out.

I have been sober a record 4 days now and my liver and I are speaking again (thanks Dr. Phil)

Intervention in my circle of friends often starts with cocktails and ends up with shots…

Today’s Bill:
Leave her to heaven
And to those thorns that in her bosom lodge,
To prick and sting her.
William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 5

Quote of the Day:
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, from Self-Reliance

I remain much like the pocket like space under the fly opening of a pair of tighty whiteys, useful for hiding things from others but embarrassing to reach:

JQP esq.