…and a very Happy Monday to you:

If I was a violent man…
I would beat the little fuck who broke into my house in Indiana and stole all my copper pipes, chiefly by ripping out the fucking walls, which of course also fucked up my 8 month old water heater and my electric heat pump. Yes, I would beat the living shit out of them. However, I would beat him to death with my insurance agent.

I would pick up my insurance agents and swing them like a club, pummeling the copper thief into the mass of refuse they are. Why, would I beat someone to death using the unusual weapon of an insurance agent you might ask? Well dear reader, that’s because I am a planner. You see my insurance company doesn’t want to pay to have it all fixed. So, think of it as two ass whippings for the price of one.

On my Job:
You ever wonder why the Book of Job is spelled the same way as what we do for a living. The new thing at work is that they are moving my department into he newly remodeled part of our building.

Yes, I get to move from an office to a cubical and friends and neighbors it’s not just any cubical, it’s a fucking glass cubical. I can’t pick my nose and wipe in under the desk anymore, forget about surfing the net, I got the biggest office, which lucky me has one whole wall of floor to ceiling windows that look out onto the main hall. “Look Mom at that funny monkey”. Shits and fucking giggles, think the Boy in the Bubble with a very bad attitude. Fuck it, it beats being unemployed.

It’s enough to make a fellow go Buford Pusser on someone’s ass. Good thing I am not a violent man.

As always all my best to you and yours,

JQP esq.