Greetings from the Great American Southwest:

Thought for the Day:
“A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.”
Oscar Wilde



On my Unexcused Absence:

I am humbled by the fact that so many of you members of the cultural vanguard of Western Civilization were troubled by my extended absences. Please allow me the opportunity to discount any rumors and/or supposition that may or may not have taken place.

The following is a list of possible factors, true or false you decide:

I had a change of heart about GWB and “The War on Who the Hell Ever” and re-enlisted in the service of this great nation.

Dude, I am putting the band back together!

I have been hospitalized for nervous exhaustion and numerous orthopedic injuries.

I went native.

I am currently involved in filming a few episodes of new series Law and Order Prison Life, where I have several guest star appearances.

I have been charged with felony liver and kidney abuse in Indiana and thus have been in hiding.

Blame it on the French.

I have been reading a good book.

My job is keeping moving all over this state.

I quit drinking and thus don’t have anything witty to say.

They only let the homeless on the computers and the downtown public library for 10 mins. at a time.

I won the lotto, bitches.

They really check my computer at work.

I changed my name to Harry Running Bull and now run a sweat lodge out of an abandoned Ford Fiesta in my back yard.

Walmart makes me work overtime.

I am mad, dont talk to me.

I got some black market Viagra and have spent the time sitting in a darkened room touching myself inappropriately.

I have taken my interactive nude poetry reading on the club circuit in the Catskills.

I just got voted off American Idol

I started a kinky sex cult and book of the month club.

I have been a guest of Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the wireless reception at tent city is shitty.

I have been spending my spare time plucking my body hair.

I took a job as a Burmese drug mule and thusly have been spending a lot of time pooping Heroin in cheap motel rooms close to airports.

I am writing an autobiography and your all in it.

All of the above.

Dear reader the decision is yours chose wisely.

Todays Bill:
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
--From Macbeth (V, v, 19)

Quote of the Day:
We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.
Lynn Hall, Where Have All the Tigers Gone?, 1989

I remain has always, your hairy backed Adonis:

JQP esq.