Friday, April 28, 2006

Nothing like the media getting a hold of a story:

001 prison
(Someone has to instill order and fear of the state. Thusly. I am super busy at work).

Have a good weekend:

JQP

Thursday, April 27, 2006

It’s a No-Love-Thursday:

Thought for the Day:
Our character...is an omen of our destiny, and the more integrity we have and keep, the simpler and nobler that destiny is likely to be.
George Santayana

Lads from the Pub 2
Tonight right after my labors in the Salt-Mine, I plan to walk across to my favorite bar and attend the weekly meeting of the No-Love-Thursday Drinking Club and Mutual Aid Society. Yes, I should enter the decompression chamber around 5:00 pm, the good Lord willing.

I know not, at this early hour who plans to be in attendance, suffice to say it will be a smattering of the intelligentsia, the disenfranchised and a Bolshevik or two. I do know dear reader, I am ready. More than ready, has my loving and petite bride said this morning when she gave me my 20.00 allowance (note to self: work the free drinks) “fuck, you are in rare form today”.

Who wouldn’t be after reading the papers and learning of the most recent round of plant closings preformed by American companies that house their taxable dollars in off-shore shelters, or perhaps the quarterly profit statements by the oil companies. Who wouldn’t be in “rare-form” indeed.

tray guy

Your Drinks for the Week:

Circus Peanut
Drink Ingredients
1 oz. Rose's Lime Juice
3 oz. Jose Cuervo Tequila
2 oz. Pisang Ambon Liqueur

Instruction
Mix well in a blender with ice and serve in a highball glass that has been rimmed (that was fun to type). Garnish with a day-glo orange circus peanut.

O’ Finn’s Roses
Drink Ingredients
2 cl. Dry Vermouth
1 cl. Apricot Brandy
3 cl. Bourbon

Instruction
Stir, drink, repeat.

Today’s Bill:
SONNET 37
As a decrepit father takes delight
To see his active child do deeds of youth,
So I, made lame by fortune's dearest spite,
Take all my comfort of thy worth and truth.
For whether beauty, birth, or wealth, or wit,
Or any of these all, or all, or more,
Entitled in thy parts do crowned sit,
I make my love engrafted to this store:
So then I am not lame, poor, nor despised,
Whilst that this shadow doth such substance give
That I in thy abundance am sufficed
And by a part of all thy glory live.
Look, what is best, that best I wish in thee:
This wish I have; then ten times happy me!

Quote of the Day:
A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her...but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account.
W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence

I remain, much like the purple assed baboon, of your waking dreams:

JQP

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Research into the Darkness before the Dawn:

Thought for the Day:
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
Dave Barry

hairy_valentine
(Everyday is Valentines Day for JQP!)

On Today:
I am once again going to work without any pain killers, two days in a row. As a result, I close my office door and put a note on it saying I am out of the office. I have been told by my colleagues that I don’t play well when I am in pain. I have some research I need to pull off for several projects I am working on and a couple plans to develop. The torn nerves in my neck and the pain from the dead mans knee are serving to keep me focused this day.

Tonight, after work I plan on dosing up and trying to go for a walk with my flower and the hounds, after which I will cook my all time favorite comfort food, pork chops and pork chop gravy on white bread with greens. I finished one book last night and have started another, I am currently reading recently retired general’s works, to try to get a handle on how the command decisions have been and are being made in this cluster-fuck they have going on.

Questions I ask myself at 3:15am Wednesday morning:
(Using the adage “A life un-examined is a life unlived I decided to keep track of the questions I ask myself.)

Why are there so many bloggers from Indiana and Canada.
Who knew we where so cool?
Why is it the most likely to be abused by those in power, often support it the most?
Why it is racial comments are on an up-swing, and/or more out in the open?
Why is it, that by cutting spending in half, I am still not ahead?
Why do I believe in people so easily?
Why do I wonder if people I have known think of me as much as I think of them?
Why is Swiss cheese so good?
Why do pain pills decrease my libido, but don’t allow me a restful sleep?
Why is it when your not horny, you can count on your partner being so?
Why is it no matter what you say some people can not hear you?
Why do I have such a hard time around rich people?
Why do I seem to be one with unusual people and/or events?
Why do others say I exhibit thrill seeking behavior?
Why is Portugal so underrated?
Why do people say I am intimidating?
Why do I enjoy teaching people new ways to process things?
Why is there more man in church than God?
Why is it easier in or society to hate than to love?
Why do I display such an intense animal sexuality?
Why are there so many good subjects and so few good authors?
Why don’t people read poems anymore?
Why is Jazz from 1950 to 1965 so damn good?
How the hell did I not end up in prison?
Why don’t most people see the difference between erotic and kinky?
Why don’t we teach children how to debate anymore, now we just shout others down?
Why do we turn a blind-eye to corruption?
Why do I do a job that eats my soul?
Why do most models of illegal drug distribution follow the Amway model?
Why are most people afraid of being alone?
Why do I feel like a dumb ass most of the time?
Why do I read 6 newspapers a day?
Why did Ghana turn down my request for political asylum?
Why am I friends with so many cops and criminals?
Why do I bore easily?
Why is it easier for someone to tell you 10 things bad about themselves, than 5 good things about themselves?
Why do I loath trust-fund hippy-tree-huggers?
Why did I give up internet porn?
Why do women have more hang-ups with their bodies than I do?
Why are the French so damn neat?
Why do I love hot peppers and pickled farm produce?
Why can’t I always get what I want?
Why am I such a damn good public speaker?
Why sometimes do I find I get what I need?
Why is NPR like a drug to me, but I don’t contribute?
Why do I wonder about peoples sexual habits?
Why do I wonder how many people have had sexual thoughts about me?
Why am I never on Jeopardy?
Why am I contemptful of Ivy League/Military Academy graduates?
Why are hairy armpits a turn on for me?
Why don’t more people read?
How did a white trash boy like me end up here?
Why in the fuck do you people read this drivel?

Todays Bill:
"O happy dagger!
This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die."
From Romeo and Juliet (V, iii, 169-170)

Quote for the Day:
Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
Robert Anton Wilson

I remain, the busy beaver, building dams for your regrets:

JQP esq.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

What’s good for JQP is good for America:

Thought for the Day:
Instead of fulfilling the promise of infinite orgasmic bliss, sex in the America of the feminine mystique is becoming a strangely joyless national compulsion, if not a contemptuous mockery.
Betty Friedan

rotate
It’s a busy day here at the salt mine. Much to busy to bore you with the drivel that is the bane of my existence. Thus goes the life and livelihood of a humanitarian of my caliber.

On the body politic:
bush mula
When are we going to impeach and convict Bush? While we are at in hand over his cabal of chicken hawks to the Hague and have them stand trial for crimes against humanity.

Then we could go after the bastards who bankrolled this experiment in social control, moral depravity, and wholesale looting. I had better be careful, statements like that could have me ending up in a fundamentalist run re-education camp in Southern Ohio. It’s a Brave New World after all.

Your Mail Order Brides of the Day:
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Iren75ad
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=bluefeathernurs
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Elenapet
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=irrinka
(At forty-one, she still looks like a bad girl, the only thing cooler than a hat, is a hot mentally ill Sharon Stone type woman)


What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Today’s Bill:

SONNET 8
Music to hear, why hear'st thou music sadly?
Sweets with sweets war not, joy delights in joy.
Why lovest thou that which thou receivest not gladly,
Or else receivest with pleasure thine annoy?
If the true concord of well-tuned sounds,
By unions married, do offend thine ear,
They do but sweetly chide thee, who confounds
In singleness the parts that thou shouldst bear.
Mark how one string, sweet husband to another,
Strikes each in each by mutual ordering,
Resembling sire and child and happy mother
Who all in one, one pleasing note do sing:
Whose speechless song, being many, seeming one,
Sings this to thee: 'thou single wilt prove none.'

Quote of the Day:
Mortal lovers must not try to remain at the first step; for lasting passion is the dream of a harlot and from it we wake in despair.
C. S. Lewis

I remain both inquisitive and a sharp dresser:

JQP esq.

A thought provoking read:

Submitted by: Dobbs Himself, my Head Resource Librarian

On the Secret of Degeneration
By Baron Julius Evola (from Deutsches Volkstum, Nr. 11, 1938)

couple-in-center-camp
Anyone who has come to reject the rationalist myth of "progress" and the interpretation of history as an unbroken positive development of mankind will find himself gradually drawn towards the world-view that was common to all the great traditional cultures, and which had at its centre the memory of a process of degeneration, slow obscuration, or collapse of a higher preceding world. As we penetrate deeper into this new (and old) interpretation, we encounter various problems, foremost among which is the question of the secret of degeneration.

more Freaks
In its literal sense, this question is by no means a novel one. While contemplating the magnificent remains of cultures whose very name has not even come down to us, but which seem to have conveyed, even in their physical material, a greatness and power that is more than earthly, scarcely anyone has failed to ask themselves questions about the death of cultures, and sensed the inadequacy of the reasons that are usually given to explain it.

asian county music
We can thank the Comte de Gobineau for the best and best-known summary of this problem, and also for a masterly criticism of the main hypotheses about it. His solution on the basis of racial thought and racial purity also has a lot of truth in it, but it needs to be expanded by a few observations concerning a higher order of things. For there have been many cases in which a culture has collapsed even when its race has remained pure, as is especially clear in certain groups that have suffered slow, inexorable extinction despite remaining as racially isolated as if they were islands.

Neo-Cons
An example quite close at hand is the case of the Swedes and the Dutch. These people are in the same racial condition today as they were two centuries ago, but there is little to be found now of the heroic disposition and the racial awareness that they once possessed. Other great cultures seem merely to have remained standing in the condition of mummies: they have long been inwardly dead, so that it takes only the slightest push to knock them down. This was the case, for example, with ancient Peru, that giant solar empire which was annihilated by a few adventurers drawn from the worst rabble of Europe.

odd chap
If we look at the secret of degeneration from the exclusively traditional point of view, it becomes even harder to solve it completely. It is then a matter of the division of all cultures into two main types. On the one hand there are the traditional cultures, whose principle is identical and unchangeable, despite all the differences evident on the surface. The axis of these cultures and the summit of their hierarchical order consists of metaphysical, supra-individual powers and actions, which serve to inform and justify everything that is merely human, temporal, subject to becoming and to "history." On the other hand there is "modern culture," which is actually the anti-tradition and which exhausts itself in a construction of purely human and earthly conditions and in the total development of these, in pursuit of a life entirely detached from the "higher world."

TrailerParkBoys
From the standpoint of the latter, the whole of history is degeneration, because it shows the universal decline of earlier cultures of the traditional type, and the decisive and violent rise of a new universal civilization of the "modern" type.

A double question arises from this.

stupid with a sign
First, how was it ever possible for this to come to pass? There is a logical error underlying the whole doctrine of evolution: it is impossible that the higher can emerge from the lower, and the greater from the less. But doesn't a similar difficulty face us in the solution of the doctrine of involution? How is it ever possible for the higher to fall? If we could make do with simple analogies, it would be easy to deal with this question. A healthy man can become sick; a virtuous one can turn to vice. There is a natural law that everyone takes from granted: that every living being starts with birth, growth, and strength, then come old age, weakening, and disintegration. And so forth. But this is just making statements, not explaining, even if we allow that such analogies actually relate to the question posed here.

Tom Delay TX
Secondly, it is not only a matter of explaining the possibility of the degeneration of a particular cultural world, but also the possibility that the degeneration of one cultural cycle may pass to other peoples and take them down with it. For example, we have not only to explain how the ancient Western reality collapsed, but also have to show the reason why it was possible for "modern" culture to conquer practically the whole world, and why it possessed the power to divert so many peoples from any other type of culture, and to hold sway even where states of a traditional kind seemed to be alive (one need only recall the Aryan East).

l garrett mug 1
In this respect, it is not enough to say that we are dealing with a purely material and economic conquest. That view seems very superficial, for two reasons. In the first place, a land that is conquered on the material level also experiences, in the long run, influences of a higher kind corresponding to the cultural type of its conqueror. We can state, in fact, that European conquest almost everywhere sows the seeds of "Europeanization," i.e., the "modern" rationalist, tradition-hostile, individualistic way of thinking. Secondly, the traditional conception of culture and the state is hierarchical, not dualistic. Its bearers could never subscribe, without severe reservations, to the principles of "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's" and "My kingdom is not of this world." For us, "Tradition" is the victorious and creative presence in the world of that which is "not of this world," i.e., of the Spirit, understood as a power that is mightier than any merely human or material one.

PT's freakshow
This is a basic idea of the authentically traditional view of life, which does not permit us to speak with contempt of merely material conquests. On the contrary, the material conquest is the sign, if not of a spiritual victory, at least of a spiritual weakness or a kind of spiritual "retreat" in the cultures that are conquered and lose their independence. Everywhere that the Spirit, regarded as the stronger power, was truly present, it never lacked for means - visible or otherwise - to enable all the opponent's technical and material superiority to be resisted. But this has not happened. It must be concluded, then, that degeneracy was lurking behind the traditional facade of every people that the "modern" world has been able to conquer. The West must then have been the culture in which a crisis that was already universal assumed its acutest form. There the degeneration amounted, so to speak, to a knockout blow, and as it took effect, it brought down with more or less ease other peoples in whom the involution had certainly not "progressed" as far, but whose tradition had already lost its original power, so that these peoples were no longer able to protect themselves from an outside assault.

when I was at sea
With these considerations, the second aspect of our problem is traced back to the first one. It is mainly a question of explicating the meaning and the possibility of degeneracy, without reference to other circumstances.

water sports fans
For this we must be clear about one thing: it is an error to assume that the hierarchy of the traditional world is based on a tyranny of the upper classes. That is merely a "modern" conception, completely alien to the traditional way of thinking. The traditional doctrine in fact conceived of spiritual action as an "action without acting"; it spoke of the "unmoved mover"; everywhere it used the symbolism of the "pole," the unalterable axis around which every ordered movement takes place (and elsewhere we have shown that this is the meaning of the swastika, the "arctic cross"); it always stressed the "Olympian," spirituality, and genuine authority, as well as its way of acting directly on its subordinates, not through violence but through "presence"; finally, it used the simile of the magnet, wherein lies the key to our question, as we shall now see.

CAFE_RUIN_1987
Only today could anyone imagine that the authentic bearers of the Spirit, or of Tradition, pursue people so as to seize them and put them in their places - in short, that they "manage" people, or have any personal interest in setting up and maintaining those hierarchical relationships by virtue of which they can appear visibly as the rulers. This would be ridiculous and senseless. It is much more the recognition on the part of the lower ones that is the true basis of any traditional ranking. It is not the higher that needs the lower, but the other way round. The essence of hierarchy is that there is something living as a reality in certain people, which in the rest is only present in the condition of an ideal, a premonition, an unfocused effort. Thus the latter are fatefully attracted to the former, and their lower condition is one of subordination less to something foreign, than to their own true "self." Herein lies the secret, in the traditional world, of all readiness for sacrifice, all heroism, all loyalty; and, on the other side, of a prestige, an authority, and a calm power which the most heavily-armed tyrant can never count upon.

WT girls
With these considerations, we have come very close to solving not only the problem of degeneration, but also the possibility of a particular fall. Are we perhaps not tired of hearing that the success of every revolution indicates the weakness and degeneracy of the previous rulers? An understanding of this kind is very one-sided. This would indeed be the case if wild dogs were tied up, and suddenly broke loose: that would be proof that the hands holding their leashes had become impotent or weak. But things are arranged very differently in the framework of spiritual ranking, whose real basis we have explained above.

drunk-day_after girl pee
This hierarchy degenerates and is able to be overthrown in one case only: when the individual degenerates, when he uses his fundamental freedom to deny the Spirit, to cut his life loose from any higher reference-point, and to exist "only for himself." Then the contacts are fatefully broken, the metaphysical tension, to which the traditional organism owes its unity, gives way, every force wavers in its path and finally breaks free. The peaks, of course, remain pure and inviolable in their heights, but the rest, which depended on them, now becomes an avalanche, a mass that has lost its equilibrium and falls, at first imperceptibly but with ever accelerating movement down to the depths and lowest levels of the valley. This is the secret of every degeneration and revolution. The European had first slain the hierarchy in himself by extirpating his own inner possibilities, to which corresponded the basis of the order that he would then destroy externally.

adult spanking
If Christian mythology attributes the Fall of Man and the Rebellion of the Angels to the freedom of the will, then it comes to much the same significance. It concerns the frightening potential that dwells in man of using freedom to destroy spiritually and to banish everything that could ensure him a supra-natural value. This is a metaphysical decision: the stream that traverses history in the most varied forms of the traditional-hating, revolutionary, individualistic, and humanistic spirit, or in short, the "modern" spirit. This decision is the only positive and decisive cause in the secret of degeneration, the destruction of Tradition.

my little brother
If we understand this, we can perhaps also grasp the sense of those legends that speak of mysterious rulers who "always" exist and have never died (shades of the Emperor sleeping beneath the Kyffhäuser mountain!). Such rulers can be rediscovered only when one achieves spiritual completeness and awakens a quality in oneself like that of a metal that suddenly feels "the magnet", finds the magnet and irresistibly orients itself and moves towards it. For now, we must restrict ourselves to this hint. A comprehensive explanation of legends of that sort, which come to us from the most ancient Aryan source, would take us too far. At another opportunity we will perhaps return to the secret of reconstruction, to the "magic" that is capable of restoring the fallen mass to the unalterable, lonely, and invisible peaks that are still there in the heights.

Now wasnt that fun?

JQP

Monday, April 24, 2006

Kiss an Angel Good-Morning:

Thought for the Day:
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin

norton8cv
(Pain pills and a long day in my labors ahead.)

12 things you didn’t know about me:
hand guns
I like red heads, then black hair, brunets and last blonds.
I am an Elder of Zion, I am also member of Opus Dei; however the Masons scare the shit out of me.
Women often want to have wild-kinky sex with me.
I am a bit of an expert on the Boer War, Pre-Castro Cuba and WW1 naval forces.
I put myself through college shoeing horses and selling fire wood.
I hate red beets.
My life is at times like a bad pulp fiction novel.
I hate musical ring tones.
Thomas Paine is a personal hero of mine.
I think the neck is one of the sexiest parts of a woman.
People often think I am a hit-man, and ask things accordingly.
I am numb most of the time.

How’s this for the Opening Line of my dissertation:
I had been warned; make yourself scarce, they are looking for you. So, I being a wise man, I stayed in, got myself stoned out of my mind of pain killers and cheap bourbon. The sound of the ceiling fan, keeping beat to my heart; a heart broken by life, a hard life, and one well lived.

Today’s Bill:

SONNET 3
Look in thy glass, and tell the face thou viewest
Now is the time that face should form another;
Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest,
Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother.
For where is she so fair whose unear'd womb
Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?
Or who is he so fond will be the tomb
Of his self-love, to stop posterity?
Thou art thy mother's glass, and she in thee
Calls back the lovely April of her prime:
So thou through windows of thine age shall see
Despite of wrinkles this thy golden time.
But if thou live, remember'd not to be,
Die single, and thine image dies with thee.

Quote of the Day:
There was an immeasurable distance between the quick and the dead: they did not seem to belong to the same species; and it was strange to think that but a little while before they had spoken and moved and eaten and laughed.
W. Somerset Maugham

I remain, much like the itchy part of your soul:

JQP

Friday, April 21, 2006

Dancing in the Light Fantastic:

plumber

No-No-Love-Thursday-Post:
I woke-up Thursday to a few feet of water in my basement. My collection of leather whips, nipple torture devices and inflatable dolls were floating at the foot of the stairs. After throwing one of the hounds in the water to insure the power was off, I waded in to find water leaking from the main.

Thusly, I did not post because I ended spending the day with my favorite discrete plumber, who had no problems fixing broken pipes in the meat locker like atmosphere of the warren of secret rooms that make up my basement. That and I just enjoy helping him send his kids to Ivy League schools. Add to that I am on-call at work this week and you get the idea.

At least in troubling times such as these, I can find some comfort in my love of the Pan flute and modern interpretive dance.

my taders
(I wanted to include a candid photo of my taders.)

JQP

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Lame o' shitsville:

duct tape

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Salt the Wells and Burn the Village:

Thought for the Day:
Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him. Aldous Huxley

dip stick
(Never truer words were said)

On Drug Plans:
I am on drugs again, which serve to deaden my pain to a more acceptable degree. However, I should note that my ability to tolerate fools also goes down when I am medicated. I think there is some connection, between fools and pain.

Some other plus sides of note to over-medication. I have read the same chapter in my current book three times and each time it is new to me. I have not been horny, thus no internet porn or excessive masturbation (other than the daily toss; you know, just to keep the pipes clear). I listened to all of Madam Butterfly twice last night and colors all seem so pretty.

Other than that I find it rather unenjoyable. Much like what I imagine walking in a room full of cotton would be like. I also find myself much too introspective. Asking questions that perhaps shouldn’t be asked, ones that no one has good answers for, questions that rely heavily on the word “why”. I don’t find myself a favorite at staff meetings these days, or casual chats with friends. A rather odd cross to bare.

Your Mail Order Brides for the Week:
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=TanushaV
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=sunriseinsofia
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=likechocolate
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=jerly
(My pick of the week, due mostly to our shared love of Shakespeare)

Vent 101:
poop
(In answer to several e-mails this morning)

I strive to make myself a better man, a kinder gentler JQP, one with integrity and a ability to instill hope. And for the most part I am relatively successful (think baby steps and running the hurtles combined) from time to time.

However there are moments in which my soul is sucked from my body and only the a bitter darkness remains. That which is once seen can not be un-seen; acts however regretful by self and others can not be un-done. Leaving one of three options in the course of life; rehabilitation, justice, and acquiescence. Sadly, in my view to much attention is paid to the later.

My wife told me the other day that I believe in an America that never was. Perhaps she is right. I often find myself looking into others faces, searching for some sense...some faith other than anger or fear, like one searches the faces at a reunion, for some reflection in which to measure ourselves.

The passion, often triumphs the will, but a life lived without both even for a moment is a loss, a wilderness. Purposeful action and reflexive events, inquiry and opportunity, choices abound yet remain out of grasp.

Someone once said “You remember just enough of Philosophy 101 to fuck you up for the rest of your life”.

Your Bill for the Day:
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
--From Macbeth (V, v, 19)

Quote of the Day:
In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few.
Shunryu Suzuki

I remain, like a cheerful mosquito, feeding on the innocence and unexamined lives of others:

JQP (Zen Master)

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Naked Sky Diving Jive Turkeys and other Campfire Stories:

Thought for the Day:
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Oscar Wilde

Indiana Home-Boy of the Day:
jim_jones
(Rev. Jim “Kool-Aid” Jones. Would you follow this man?)

Some things Observed over the past few Days:

Hangovers last for two days.

Rumplemizt is juice from Satin’s Ass.

Canons are cool.

Mortars are cool.

Automatic weapons are cool.

Blowing shit up first thing on a Saturday morning, priceless.

My truck smells of Cordite, BBQ and man sweat.

Sky diving naked is fun but not as socially acceptable as one might believe.

I get VIP pricing at the Macedonian Road House.

My wife’s mood swings during her period can be both terrifying and humorous.

That when your bride scares up a wild turkey by driving at high rate of speed on back woods roads in northern Michigan, while calling you every cuss word she can think of, nothing good can happen.

A 20 pound Butter Ball is not something that is fun to have slamming through your windshield at 80+ miles an hour.

I got Man Points for plucking and dressing the turkey, while bleeding and in pain.

Never trust a in-law to sew up your face, no matter how many stitches they have had in the past.

My neck hurts.

People from Michigan like me and want to be my friend.

There is something about the joy of giving a Michigan child their first pair of shoes.

Teaching them that they go on their feet can be a little more trying.

Dog stew gives me gas.

I was given a camouflaged baseball hat and a pair of hunter orange socks.

I am now a member of the tribe.

My work sucks, but its a growth industry.

I have a gay stalker, who calls my office 6 times a day.

Gay men think I have cute ass.

I do.

Speaking of ass, I am cooking flank steak on the Barbie tonight.

The guy from the Out-Back commercial annoys the fuck out of me.

My flowers have come up nicely.

My Magnolia tree bloomed after 3 years of waiting and that night we had a hail storm, it doesn’t look so pretty now.

I wish Angelina Jolie would hit on me more often.

I would do her prego-style.

Some women lactate for no reason.

I enjoy home-made Kailua.

I have met my deductible for the year.

The Kilt Question
(Look a tader sack, all the way from Scotland)

Bill for the Day:

SONNET 33
Full many a glorious morning have I seen
Flatter the mountain-tops with sovereign eye*,
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,
Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy;
Anon permit the basest clouds to ride
With ugly rack* on his celestial face,
And from the forlorn world his visage hide,
Stealing unseen to west with this disgrace*:
Even so my sun one early morn did shine
With all triumphant splendor on my brow;
But out, alack! he was but one hour mine;
The region cloud hath mask'd him from me now.
Yet him for this my love no whit disdaineth;
Suns of the world may stain when heaven's sun staineth.

Quote for the Day:
There is no wisdom without love.
N. Sri Ram

I remain a rhyme, without reason:

JQP esq.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Happy Dyngus Day:

drunk salior

Ivory Towers and me:
I am teaching at a local Roman Catholic Institution of higher learning this morning. As a result, you will have to wait for details of my event filled weekend, suffice to say it was both harrowing and enlightening.

Fight the good fight my comrades:

JQP

Thursday, April 13, 2006

No-Love-Thursday:

Thought for the Day:
Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
Abraham Lincoln

Pondering Lent and NLT:
DSC01209
At this point I do not plan on being in attendance when the countless legions of card carrying members of this the most venerable of drinking clubs meets this evening. I should however note that my views on this are very much subject to change.

I think I have found a loophole in the end of Lent for yours truly. In looking up Canon Law last night at the church where I volunteer (Monday I knit socks for the soldiers, Tues. I read to the blind, Wed. I teach an ESL CCD class at my parish, Thurs. I minister to the down trodden, alcoholics & women of questionable virtue, & Fridays I volunteer at the orphanage, I am a giver that way, however weekends are mine, damn-it)

I think that if I go to noon Mass at the Cathedral, thus hitting Maundy (or Holy) Thursday I am clear on the lent stuff i.e. not drinking.

For you Prots: "Maundy Thursday was taken up with a succession of ceremonies of character, the baptism of neophytes, the reconciliation of penitents, the consecration of the holy oils, the washing of the feet, and commemoration of the Eucharist".

I even trimmed my toe nails and everything, that and a few Hail Mary’s and I think I am good to go. I so rock at the church law stuff. I have a legal mind you know and this year I think I might finally pass the bar exam.

3 Real Life Examples of No-Love:

Example 1:
I was talking about someone with another professional and I heard the following “That ol’ boy’s so stupid his underpants are color coordinated.” I asked: “What?” The speaker went on to say, “Yeap, Yellow in the Front and Brown in the back” I love consulting with like minds.

Example 2:
mad as hell woman
My loving wife has PMS, in the course of one hour she wanted to A) Have a morning quickie. B) Felt she was fat and her skin (yes, her skin) hurt. C) Wanted to carve my eyeballs out with a soup spoon.

Needless to say, angry sex, with a fat woman, whose skin hurts, holding a soup spoon was not high on my list this morning, at which point I was called a fucker and told I don't love her.

I being clever, un-assed the area before she could make it to the lighter fluid or the gun cabinet. If your reading this, my petite flower, I love you and you’re the prettiest girl in the whole county.

Example 3:
The shit-fuck lightweight who threw-up all over my reserved parking spot Tues. night. That’s always nice to put your penny loafers into first thing in the morning.

Granted my parking lot is next to a well known bar (yet another occupational hazard, that daily I have to brave) but still, why couldn’t have been someone else’s spot. I’ll tell you why, it’s both an example of No-Love and of the vast right wing conspiracy. Need I say more?

In Other News:
I am taking Good Friday off so, no post. For me, it’s keep on Mrs. JQP’s good side & work on the house day. Saturday, I got invited out west, to shoot a cannon and a mortar (yes, really, I am after all a man of many talents and eccentric friends).

Officers of NLT

Sunday, we are going up to the northern lands of Michigan, to enjoy an Easter meal of fresh roast dog & root vegetables, with my wife’s primitive tribal people. Sadly, since she will be having her menses, I will not be able to enjoy her company at this meal, since as is their custom; she will be confined to the women’s hut and fed with a stick. What a fun drive home that will be.

Starting next week, I hope to be back to the poor penmanship and short bus spelling you have all grown to know and love.

Today’s Bill:
"Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much; such men are dangerous."
From Julius Caesar

Quote of the Day:
When one admits that nothing is certain one must, I think, also admit that some things are much more nearly certain than others.
Bertrand Russell

I remain, the wind beneath your wings:

JQP esq.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

From the Desk of JQP:

Thought for the Day:
For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and greatest enjoyment is - to live dangerously.
Friedrich Nietzsche

saleman of the year
(Why do I get such a perverse joy in fucking with the intern? Even when it’s not my intern or my company, hell not even my line of work?)

On the J-O-B:
I have a press conference this afternoon. I had to go home and put on my Brooks Brothers suit and Italian silk tie. I clean up nice; hell, I even trimmed my nose hair in case I get a close up.

On Books Over Lunch:
I was asked at a lunch meeting yesterday, what were some of the formative works I read that contributed to my political views. In order of importance, the authors: The Gospels, Thomas Paine, Saul Alinsky, Huey Long and Malcolm X. I think I was asked so they could make sure that their children didn’t have access to these tomes of critical thought. My regret in this meeting was that, it wasn’t where I wanted to eat, however I did stop at an Amish bakery on the way home and got a pie and two loafs of fresh bread.

On this morning:
I got asked out to breakfast by my loving flower, which was a surprise. We dined this morning at a local restaurant favored by the power elite of our fare city. She stuck me with the bill, but the company was well worth it.

Pope Ben
(I had a Pope Benedict, since it’s close to Easter and all.)

Your Mail Order Brides for the Week:
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Marya
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=TanyaKrasa
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Dinay
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=annpitt
http://www.eastwestmatch.com/search.cfm?from=email&nick=Leelo
(The last one looks like girls I used to date, mean, mean grils)

Today’s Bill (this one is for you):

SONNET 28
How can I then return in happy plight,
That am debarr'd the benefit of rest?
When day's oppression is not eased by night,
But day by night, and night by day, oppress'd?
And each, though enemies to either's reign,
Do in consent shake hands to torture me;
The one by toil, the other to complain
How far I toil, still farther off from thee.
I tell the day, to please them thou art bright
And dost him grace when clouds do blot the heaven:
So flatter I the swart-complexion'd night,
When sparkling stars twire not thou gild'st the even.
But day doth daily draw my sorrows longer
And night doth nightly make grief's strength seem stronger.

Quote of the Day:
If a man withdraws his mind from the love of beauty, and applies it as sincerely to the love of the virtuous; if, in serving his parents, he can exert his utmost strength; if, in serving his prince, he can devote his life; if in his intercourse with his friends, his words are sincere - although men say that he has not learned, I will certainly say that he has.
Confucius

I remain your dry well of introspection and self control:

JQP esq.

Health Hints for the Chic on the Go:

(Just 'couse I care, I am a sweet-man that way)

"Moderate drinking associated with better cognition in women"


drunk girl two

A drink or two a day may be associated with better cognitive function in women, according to a report from an ongoing study of New York City residents. The report was published in the rapid access issue of Stroke: Journal of the American Heart Association.

"Women who had up to two drinks a day scored about 20 percent higher on the Mini Mental State Exam (MMSE) than women who didn't drink at all or who consumed less than one drink a week," said Clinton Wright, M.D., M.S., lead author of the study and assistant professor of neurology at the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Columbia University in New York. "The difference remained after adjusting for risk factors such as income, marital status, race or ethnicity and other vascular risk factors such as high blood pressure and cardiac disease."

drunk girls five

The researchers said they were surprised by the lack of association between carotid plaque and alcohol consumption. Other research had suggested that alcohol consumption might slow the progression of plaque, the fatty material that builds up in arteries and increases the risk of heart attack and stroke.

"This study suggests that the relationship between alcohol and cognition was not mediated by large vessel atherosclerosis," Wright said. "Future studies with brain imaging are planned to examine the importance of small vessel disease in this relationship."

The fact that the study did not find an association between alcohol consumption and cognition in men might be the result of the sample size since there was "only a small group of men who were never drinkers, so it may not have been possible to detect an effect in men," Wright said.

Study participants were enrolled in the Northern Manhattan Study, an ongoing study of 3,298 stroke-free residents of Northern Manhattan selected by a random digit dialing protocol. This study was conducted in a subsample of 2,215 participants with both alcohol and carotid plaque data available. Their average age was 69. Fifty-four percent of the participants were Hispanic, 25 percent black and 21 percent white.

nips

The ethnicity of the participants was important, as only a few previous studies have included blacks or Hispanics, who have higher rates of cerebrovascular disease, dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

Researchers assessed alcohol intake in structured interviews, while carotid artery plaque was measured by carotid ultrasound. "It was important for this study that all of the participants lived in the area of the same city, so they would all be subject to the same environmental influences," Wright said.

The participants were divided into five groups based on alcohol consumption:

Never drinkers (509)
Past drinkers (494)
Seldom drinkers, defined as less than one drink a week (300)
Moderate drinkers, meaning those who drank up to two drinks a day (796)
Those who had more than two drinks a day (116)

drunk grils three

Wright cautioned that the study is limited by the use of the MMSE, which "is not a very sensitive test and doesn't address a number of cognitive domains that would be assessed by a more sensitive neuropsychiatric evaluation. Such a study is currently ongoing in this cohort."

Despite study limitations, he said the results support observations that moderate drinking is protective in women and do not support large vessel atherosclerosis as a mediating factor.

The American Heart Association recommends that people who drink alcohol do so in moderation. This means having an average of no more than two drinks per day for men and one drink per day for women. (A drink is one 12 oz. beer, 4 oz. of wine, 1.5 oz. of 80-proof spirits, or 1 oz. of 100-proof spirits.)

drunk girl one

The American Heart Association does not recommend that nondrinkers start drinking alcohol to seek health benefits. Drinking alcohol increases the risk of alcoholism, high blood pressure, obesity, stroke, breast cancer, suicide and accidents. Also, it's not possible to predict which people may develop alcoholism.

drunk girl four

Consult your doctor on the benefits and risks of consuming alcohol in moderation.

Co-authors are Mitchell S. V. Elkind, M.D., M.S.; Tatjana Rundek, M.D., Ph.D.; Bernadette Boden-Albala, Dr.Ph.; Myunghee C. Paik, Ph.D.; and Ralph L. Sacco, M.D., M.S.

The National Institutes of Health, the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, and the Irving General Clinical Research Center funded the study.

Statements and conclusions of study authors published in the American Heart Association scientific journals are solely those of the study authors and do not necessarily reflect association policy or position. The American Heart Association makes no representation or warranty as to their accuracy or reliability.

(Submitted by my Head Resource Liberian, Dobbs Himself)

All my love, XOXO~

JQP MD

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I am the yen and yang of the upper mid-west:

Amish Race
(I love me some NASCAR type shit, dog.)

8 Things that piss me off this morning:
Scooter Liby
Gas prices
A war to make gas cheap?
The mold count in Indiana
The cost of half assed health care.
Mitch Daniels.
Out-side consultants.
The high cost of Copenhagen snuff.

8 Things that made be happy this morning:
Morning PT with my loving wife.
My flowers coming up.
Speaking some places that they requested me, and only me.
Pain pills.
Planning lunch at an Amish place up-state today.
Good friends.
Finishing a good book.
People who vote for hairy arm pitted women.

On today:
I am on the road, up into Amish country, to sell lighting rods and bawdy post cards in Low-German. While I am gone, please take care of the place and quit putting your cigarettes out on the shag carpet. Remember, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

I remain, pissing in the wind:

JQP

Monday, April 10, 2006

It’s Monday and it’s time for the Parade of Pits:

Since I am up to my ass in work and a feeling bit ill, add to that, that I am not feeling all that creative, I bring you the contest of the day. Pick your Favorite Hairy Arm Pitted Woman.

1)
de_beers

2)
why she is my fav. actress

3)
red hair

4)
happy pits

5)
hairycoeds03_a

6)
smile hairy pits

7)
hairy No War

8)
stash girl

9)
ugly pits

10)
pit lick

Vote Early and vote often.

JQP